Chapter 5: Crystallized friendship
I woke up feeling better today. I got out of my bed and went to look at my window. The sky is blue and the birds are chirping at the tree near my window. The flowers like lilacs, roses, daisies, and forget-me-not, in our garden has a wonderful view in my window. Syaoran's house across from ours doesn't look gloomy anymore. I saw Lindsey dressed in violet gardening clothes carefully tending her mini-garden. At the street, a newspaper boy passed by as he throws the newspapers at each houses doorstep, I just hoped his aim is good right now. Everything seems so different today. Perhaps, after what happened last night my troubled feelings calmed a little and made me see the world in a different view. It made me see that I should continue to live no matter how short mine is. There is also one thing I found out yesterday, eventhough I am physically alive there is a part of me had died.my happiness. I feel like a walking zombie or a person devoid of any emotion except for sadness and hurt. I'm afraid I couldn't return to back myself anymore. Wait, why am I worrying over things such as bringing my old self back? I am contented in living this way but.my heart tells me different.
A knock came into my door and my mother came in quietly with a tired face. Eventhough she looks very tired she is still beautiful. Her long gray wavy with streaks of white hair and her emerald eyes, like mine, would fool you of her true age and would make you think of a heroine in a fairy tale. My mother really is beautiful inside out and also the greatest mom a girl could have but I'm afraid that if I keep on drowning myself from misery, my mom's angelic beauty and glow would be gone. I don't want my mother to suffer because of me. She silently walked to my side and smiled at me.
"Good morning Sakura.how are you today?"
Maybe if I would just pretend that I'm completely happy, everything would be fine. I put my face in the best happy smile I could muster. Eventhough if it is all a fake. At first, my mother was shocked then she smiled and hugged me tight.
"I'm so glad that you smiled after all these past few days." Then she pulled me from her embrace to look at me. I can see some tears are starting to form from the corner of her eyes. "You know what I cooked your favorite breakfast, chocolate chip hotcake."
"That's.umm.great." I said feeling a little guilty for fooling mom.
"What's wrong? Don't you like those anymore?"
"No.it's just that.umm.I.kinda miss that thing that I couldn't believe I'm eating those things again. You go ahead I'll just fix myself up." I said with a wobbly smile. I really hope my mother wouldn't notice it. She just smiled at me and left quietly. As soon as she left, I dropped my façade and put my face into a frown. I really feel bad whenever I lie to mom but.if this lie would just make her happy, eventhough I will feel terrible afterwards I would continue this act.
I looked once more at my window and saw the sun shining happily. How could the weather be so gay if I'm feeling the opposite? But hey look on the bright side on my pretending, I might forget the idea that I have a tumor and live as I used to be.
Right? Sigh.whom am I kidding?
"Why me." I went to the bathroom to take a bath. I wore a white tank top with matching black flares. I was thinking of going to Tomoyo's house after breakfast.
At the breakfast table, I just stared at my breakfast. In fact, I really don't want to eat right now but as I looked at my mom, who is eating quietly and pausing for a while to look at me with a smile on her face forced me to eat this dish. Slowly I eat the hotcake; I looked at mom and dad and noticed that they are extremely quiet today but nonetheless happy. The silence is starting to drive me nuts. Mom just looked at me again with a smile on her face while dad is reading his newspaper while drinking black coffee. If nobody is going to speak any moment, right now I would walk out in this room.
"Have I told you that Kaho is going to have twins?" dad suddenly said as he put his newspaper down and smiled at me. Why are they smiling so much but good thing he finally said, something.wait twins?
"No.that's wonderful." I said as I put my full attention to dad. I was thrilled by the news but I didn't truly smile.
"How did you know that, honey?" mom asked dad.
"Well this morning while you went upstairs to wake Sakura up, Touya called and told me the good news. That's not all; he said the twins are due somewhere near or on Christmas."
"I hope it's a girl." I said softly, "So when she grows up Tomoyo would have a new model." I said as I picture Tomoyo measuring my niece waistline while rattling on and on about the fabrics she would use.
If it really turned out to be a girl, maybe no one would be sad anymore if I pass away because my niece would immediately take my place in their hearts.
"Well in my opinion it would be best if the twins would be both a boy and a girl." My mom said.
"I agree with you, honey, but if the one of the twins turned out to be a girl...I wish her luck." My father said as his brown eyes sparkled with mischief and his mouth twitched in an annoying smile. Now I know where my brother had that smile.
"How can you say that to our future grandchild! Wow those sure sounds weird in my mouth." Mom said with a frown.
"Well knowing Touya he would be overprotective in her. As for saying future grandchild, don't worry you still look young and beautiful."
My mother blushed at dad's comment and found the plate to be the most interesting thing in the world because she couldn't tear her sight way from it. No matter how many years had passed they still love each other deeply. I envy them because I am not going find someone who could love me like that. Just then, the boy from the fields came into my mind with one word in his mouth hope. I snapped out from my reverie and forced a smile on my face.
"You know what, taking care of two babies is hard. Are they going to hire a nanny?" my mother suddenly said.
"Touya asked me if by any chance we have found a perfect nanny we should give him a call." Dad said while drinking is coffee.
"I'll check later if any of my friends know one." My mom said.
"Speaking of nanny," my dad interjected. Time to face one of my problems. My heart is thumping wild and I really want to go out of this room but I can't. "Your mom and I have decided that we should hire a nanny for you." He said slowly. I think he is afraid I might burst out from anger, which I am trying not to show. I inhaled deeply and spoke in a calm tone.
"Why?" I said flatly.
"What do you mean why? What if.if.you collapsed on the street again and nobody can help you? I don't want that to happen again." My mom said in a disappointed voice. I just sat there staring at both of them not even saying a single word.
"Your mother is right. What happened yesterday really scared both of us." Dad said in a gentle way. I don't know what to do anymore because there's a part of me telling that I should agree but the other one said the opposite.
"You know what having that thing doesn't mean it is the end. It is just a beginning of your life. We couldn't call it a life if there are no hardships in it."
Syaoran's words rang in my head and because of that I made a perfect decision.
"Alright, under one condition, I would be the one who will pick my nurse." Both my parent slowly smiled and nodded at my decision. I stood up as I finished my breakfast and went to the door.
"Where are you going?" my mom asked me while she is cleaning up the table.
"Tomoyo's house." I said simply. For a second I forgot to put my mask on until I realized I wasn't smiling. I put on my best smile and look at her. "I'll be back before lunch. Bye."
"Be careful and don't forget to call me when you get I there."
"Okay" I rushed out to the door and dropped my fake mask.
~@~
"I am starting to worry about our daughter, Nadeshiko." Fujitaka said as he helped his wife by putting the dishes in the cupboard.
The kitchen has an L-shaped wall with an island on the center. Fujitaka is washing the dishes while Fujitaka dries them up and put them in the cupboard.
"I know you know that she is just pretending to be happy but why does she do it?" Fujitaka said as he stopped drying the dishes and just stared at them. Suddenly a warm hand is placed in his shoulders. He turned to look at his wife with a sad smile on her face.
"Knowing her.I think she does that so that we shouldn't worry about her. I think she want us to be happy eventhough she isn't." Amanda said solemnly.
"I think your right." Fujitaka said with a sigh as he holds his wife's hands into his and placed them in his cheek, "I just hope this would end soon."
"I really do hope so." They just stayed that way looking at each other.
~@~
I am waiting for Tomoyo at her living room because she is still taking a bath. I looked around to see if Aunt Sonomi changed anything but found nothing. Aunt Sonomi went to work so here I am all alone in this huge living room. Usually if she is here, she would keep me company until Tomoyo arrives.
The living room is beautiful but not a beautiful as Syaoran's. The walls are decorated with light blue wallpaper. At the center of the room, two- cushioned sofas are placed facing one another with a center table dividing the two. At the top of the center table, a low vase with white roses is placed. Behind the sofa on where I sat, is their grand piano with a large window beside it. An adjourning room led to the stairs and the kitchen in front of me.
Loud footsteps can be heard, as I was about to take a magazine in front of me to read.
"Sakura this is a surprise I'm so glad you came!" Tomoyo squealed as she appeared from the adjourning room and trapped me in a bear hug. Tomoyo is wearing a sky blue sleeveless dress that matches her lavender eyes. The dress hung on to her curves. Her long dark violet hair is worn down with a black headband.
"Air." I said while trying to breath.
"Sorry.but I'm just so happy you came." Tomoyo said as pulled me from the hug and checked me for a while. At first she frowned a bit, but maybe I'm just hallucinating because at the instant I looked at her once more her beautiful smile is playing in her lips. "Let's go to my room so we can talk." Tomoyo led me to her room.
Her room is still the same since I last came here. That day. Tomoyo went to her closet because she wanted to show me something. Knowing her it would be a new dress for the fashion show. As for me I am sitting here patiently in her queen sized bed while looking at her magazine.
"Hey Tomoyo, what happened to your fashion show?" I asked curiously because I wanted to know what had happened to that dress I tried out when I last came here.
"What do you mean fashion show?" Tomoyo asked back to me while she was in her closet.
"You know the royalty theme thing."
"Oh that." Tomoyo said, as she understands what I am talking about, "cancelled it." She said simply like it was nothing. I was shocked at what she said.
"Why did you do that?"
"Simple, I just don't want a fashion show without you in it. Besides the director agreed with Me." just because of me, Tomoyo sacrificed her show. This can't be happening.she is ruining her career.what would happen to her designs if.if.I'm gone.
"So any news about Kaho?" Tomoyo suddenly changed the topic as she went out from her closet carrying a lavender silk in her arms. I got confused at what she was talking.
"Who is Kaho?" I asked her because I got confused at the sudden change of topic. Then I felt something in my head. I held onto it tightly and closed my eyes waiting for the pain to go away. Miraculously, it went away. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Tomoyo in front of my face looked at me worriedly and held my shoulders. The silk cloth is lying on the floor behind Tomoyo. I put on my best smile I could come up.
"Sakura are you okay? Do you want to rest or do you want some water?" Tomoyo bombarded me with questions that are starting to make me irritable but I have to act right now.
"What are you talking about? I've never felt better in my life." I laughed a hollow one. I have to think of something to make her forget her worrying the it clicked right into my head, her question she asked me earlier. "Well about Kaho, do you know that she is having twins?" I pushed myself from her grip and went to stare at the window.
"I really hoped it was a girl so I could teach her a lot of things. One more thing, if she grows up to be a beautiful woman maybe she could take my place in your fashion show." I said as I was trying to smile and not to cry. I was hurting deep inside knowing that there might be a possibility that I couldn't see the twins grow up but one thing is for sure I would be here when they would be born, hopefully.
Good thing Syaoran couldn't read my mind or else he would be disappointed, but hey, I took his advice about his "life is worth living belief" eventhough it is miserable and short. Wait a minute why am I worrying about what would he think? Maybe because he helps me a little bit last night but how can I be happy if I am going away forever soon?
"Please stop it." I snapped out from my reverie when I heard Tomoyo's tearful voice behind me. I turned to look at her.
"What are you." I was shocked to see her crying, "What's wrong sis?" I asked as I pulled a handkerchief in my pocket. I was about to approach her when she said something that made me glued to my spot.
"Please stop acting like everything is okay eventhough you're not." Tomoyo said as tears are flowing freely from her face. Tomoyo really can see through me but I have to keep the act.
"I'm not acting and really I'm fine." I said with a cheesy smile I could come up with.
"I've known you since were still young so you can't fool me. I know if you're happy, angry, annoyed, and scared. Right now, I know you are trying to fool everyone by telling you're ok but your not. Do you know why? It's because of your eyes. Why Sakura? Why did you close yourself and push everyone away by fooling us? I was hurt when I heard the news about you but what's even hurt the most is the fact that you're trying to deal everything to yourself and not letting others in." I interrupted her because I have enough. She had said too many things today.
"That's enough!" I voiced out my thoughts, as I couldn't keep the act anymore. "How can you say that you really know me eventhough you don't? Well Tomoyo, the truth is you still don't know me because you are not me and you don't have any right to tell me what to do or not because you're not my mother you're just only my best friend." I was so angry at that time because I couldn't accept Tomoyo's words because they are true. If I just cool myself off, I would see Tomoyo's shocked expression with new tears flowing in her face but I didn't. My mind was blank with anger at that time. It feels like someone is controlling my body and I just stood there in my mind watching the whole incident.
"I didn't know you feel that way." Tomoyo finally regained her posture and looked at the floor. ".I don't know what to say.sniff.all that I wanted say before is I'm always here and stop lying to me but." I cut her off because I really don't want hear her words anymore. They say that the truth shall set you free but why does it hurt so much?
"Do me one favor.leave me alone and stop caring for me. It would the be the best for both of us." I turned my back on her and went away. As I stepped out of the door, I came to my senses. Why did I lash out my anger at Tomoyo? How could I done that to her? But I guess what I did would be the best for both of us. Tomoyo would live a peaceful life because I wouldn't be a burden to her anymore. If I stayed a bit in her room I would hurt her even more, which is, I don't want to do.
I'm sorry Tomoyo and goodbye.
Author's note:
Sorry it took me so long to post this up. This incident really happened in real life but the girl in the real life isn't dying or something like that. So please R&R. I would like to say a thousand of thanks to those who review the last chappie. I was in a rush today so I haven't put your names in here. Sorry and Thank you thank you!
I woke up feeling better today. I got out of my bed and went to look at my window. The sky is blue and the birds are chirping at the tree near my window. The flowers like lilacs, roses, daisies, and forget-me-not, in our garden has a wonderful view in my window. Syaoran's house across from ours doesn't look gloomy anymore. I saw Lindsey dressed in violet gardening clothes carefully tending her mini-garden. At the street, a newspaper boy passed by as he throws the newspapers at each houses doorstep, I just hoped his aim is good right now. Everything seems so different today. Perhaps, after what happened last night my troubled feelings calmed a little and made me see the world in a different view. It made me see that I should continue to live no matter how short mine is. There is also one thing I found out yesterday, eventhough I am physically alive there is a part of me had died.my happiness. I feel like a walking zombie or a person devoid of any emotion except for sadness and hurt. I'm afraid I couldn't return to back myself anymore. Wait, why am I worrying over things such as bringing my old self back? I am contented in living this way but.my heart tells me different.
A knock came into my door and my mother came in quietly with a tired face. Eventhough she looks very tired she is still beautiful. Her long gray wavy with streaks of white hair and her emerald eyes, like mine, would fool you of her true age and would make you think of a heroine in a fairy tale. My mother really is beautiful inside out and also the greatest mom a girl could have but I'm afraid that if I keep on drowning myself from misery, my mom's angelic beauty and glow would be gone. I don't want my mother to suffer because of me. She silently walked to my side and smiled at me.
"Good morning Sakura.how are you today?"
Maybe if I would just pretend that I'm completely happy, everything would be fine. I put my face in the best happy smile I could muster. Eventhough if it is all a fake. At first, my mother was shocked then she smiled and hugged me tight.
"I'm so glad that you smiled after all these past few days." Then she pulled me from her embrace to look at me. I can see some tears are starting to form from the corner of her eyes. "You know what I cooked your favorite breakfast, chocolate chip hotcake."
"That's.umm.great." I said feeling a little guilty for fooling mom.
"What's wrong? Don't you like those anymore?"
"No.it's just that.umm.I.kinda miss that thing that I couldn't believe I'm eating those things again. You go ahead I'll just fix myself up." I said with a wobbly smile. I really hope my mother wouldn't notice it. She just smiled at me and left quietly. As soon as she left, I dropped my façade and put my face into a frown. I really feel bad whenever I lie to mom but.if this lie would just make her happy, eventhough I will feel terrible afterwards I would continue this act.
I looked once more at my window and saw the sun shining happily. How could the weather be so gay if I'm feeling the opposite? But hey look on the bright side on my pretending, I might forget the idea that I have a tumor and live as I used to be.
Right? Sigh.whom am I kidding?
"Why me." I went to the bathroom to take a bath. I wore a white tank top with matching black flares. I was thinking of going to Tomoyo's house after breakfast.
At the breakfast table, I just stared at my breakfast. In fact, I really don't want to eat right now but as I looked at my mom, who is eating quietly and pausing for a while to look at me with a smile on her face forced me to eat this dish. Slowly I eat the hotcake; I looked at mom and dad and noticed that they are extremely quiet today but nonetheless happy. The silence is starting to drive me nuts. Mom just looked at me again with a smile on her face while dad is reading his newspaper while drinking black coffee. If nobody is going to speak any moment, right now I would walk out in this room.
"Have I told you that Kaho is going to have twins?" dad suddenly said as he put his newspaper down and smiled at me. Why are they smiling so much but good thing he finally said, something.wait twins?
"No.that's wonderful." I said as I put my full attention to dad. I was thrilled by the news but I didn't truly smile.
"How did you know that, honey?" mom asked dad.
"Well this morning while you went upstairs to wake Sakura up, Touya called and told me the good news. That's not all; he said the twins are due somewhere near or on Christmas."
"I hope it's a girl." I said softly, "So when she grows up Tomoyo would have a new model." I said as I picture Tomoyo measuring my niece waistline while rattling on and on about the fabrics she would use.
If it really turned out to be a girl, maybe no one would be sad anymore if I pass away because my niece would immediately take my place in their hearts.
"Well in my opinion it would be best if the twins would be both a boy and a girl." My mom said.
"I agree with you, honey, but if the one of the twins turned out to be a girl...I wish her luck." My father said as his brown eyes sparkled with mischief and his mouth twitched in an annoying smile. Now I know where my brother had that smile.
"How can you say that to our future grandchild! Wow those sure sounds weird in my mouth." Mom said with a frown.
"Well knowing Touya he would be overprotective in her. As for saying future grandchild, don't worry you still look young and beautiful."
My mother blushed at dad's comment and found the plate to be the most interesting thing in the world because she couldn't tear her sight way from it. No matter how many years had passed they still love each other deeply. I envy them because I am not going find someone who could love me like that. Just then, the boy from the fields came into my mind with one word in his mouth hope. I snapped out from my reverie and forced a smile on my face.
"You know what, taking care of two babies is hard. Are they going to hire a nanny?" my mother suddenly said.
"Touya asked me if by any chance we have found a perfect nanny we should give him a call." Dad said while drinking is coffee.
"I'll check later if any of my friends know one." My mom said.
"Speaking of nanny," my dad interjected. Time to face one of my problems. My heart is thumping wild and I really want to go out of this room but I can't. "Your mom and I have decided that we should hire a nanny for you." He said slowly. I think he is afraid I might burst out from anger, which I am trying not to show. I inhaled deeply and spoke in a calm tone.
"Why?" I said flatly.
"What do you mean why? What if.if.you collapsed on the street again and nobody can help you? I don't want that to happen again." My mom said in a disappointed voice. I just sat there staring at both of them not even saying a single word.
"Your mother is right. What happened yesterday really scared both of us." Dad said in a gentle way. I don't know what to do anymore because there's a part of me telling that I should agree but the other one said the opposite.
"You know what having that thing doesn't mean it is the end. It is just a beginning of your life. We couldn't call it a life if there are no hardships in it."
Syaoran's words rang in my head and because of that I made a perfect decision.
"Alright, under one condition, I would be the one who will pick my nurse." Both my parent slowly smiled and nodded at my decision. I stood up as I finished my breakfast and went to the door.
"Where are you going?" my mom asked me while she is cleaning up the table.
"Tomoyo's house." I said simply. For a second I forgot to put my mask on until I realized I wasn't smiling. I put on my best smile and look at her. "I'll be back before lunch. Bye."
"Be careful and don't forget to call me when you get I there."
"Okay" I rushed out to the door and dropped my fake mask.
~@~
"I am starting to worry about our daughter, Nadeshiko." Fujitaka said as he helped his wife by putting the dishes in the cupboard.
The kitchen has an L-shaped wall with an island on the center. Fujitaka is washing the dishes while Fujitaka dries them up and put them in the cupboard.
"I know you know that she is just pretending to be happy but why does she do it?" Fujitaka said as he stopped drying the dishes and just stared at them. Suddenly a warm hand is placed in his shoulders. He turned to look at his wife with a sad smile on her face.
"Knowing her.I think she does that so that we shouldn't worry about her. I think she want us to be happy eventhough she isn't." Amanda said solemnly.
"I think your right." Fujitaka said with a sigh as he holds his wife's hands into his and placed them in his cheek, "I just hope this would end soon."
"I really do hope so." They just stayed that way looking at each other.
~@~
I am waiting for Tomoyo at her living room because she is still taking a bath. I looked around to see if Aunt Sonomi changed anything but found nothing. Aunt Sonomi went to work so here I am all alone in this huge living room. Usually if she is here, she would keep me company until Tomoyo arrives.
The living room is beautiful but not a beautiful as Syaoran's. The walls are decorated with light blue wallpaper. At the center of the room, two- cushioned sofas are placed facing one another with a center table dividing the two. At the top of the center table, a low vase with white roses is placed. Behind the sofa on where I sat, is their grand piano with a large window beside it. An adjourning room led to the stairs and the kitchen in front of me.
Loud footsteps can be heard, as I was about to take a magazine in front of me to read.
"Sakura this is a surprise I'm so glad you came!" Tomoyo squealed as she appeared from the adjourning room and trapped me in a bear hug. Tomoyo is wearing a sky blue sleeveless dress that matches her lavender eyes. The dress hung on to her curves. Her long dark violet hair is worn down with a black headband.
"Air." I said while trying to breath.
"Sorry.but I'm just so happy you came." Tomoyo said as pulled me from the hug and checked me for a while. At first she frowned a bit, but maybe I'm just hallucinating because at the instant I looked at her once more her beautiful smile is playing in her lips. "Let's go to my room so we can talk." Tomoyo led me to her room.
Her room is still the same since I last came here. That day. Tomoyo went to her closet because she wanted to show me something. Knowing her it would be a new dress for the fashion show. As for me I am sitting here patiently in her queen sized bed while looking at her magazine.
"Hey Tomoyo, what happened to your fashion show?" I asked curiously because I wanted to know what had happened to that dress I tried out when I last came here.
"What do you mean fashion show?" Tomoyo asked back to me while she was in her closet.
"You know the royalty theme thing."
"Oh that." Tomoyo said, as she understands what I am talking about, "cancelled it." She said simply like it was nothing. I was shocked at what she said.
"Why did you do that?"
"Simple, I just don't want a fashion show without you in it. Besides the director agreed with Me." just because of me, Tomoyo sacrificed her show. This can't be happening.she is ruining her career.what would happen to her designs if.if.I'm gone.
"So any news about Kaho?" Tomoyo suddenly changed the topic as she went out from her closet carrying a lavender silk in her arms. I got confused at what she was talking.
"Who is Kaho?" I asked her because I got confused at the sudden change of topic. Then I felt something in my head. I held onto it tightly and closed my eyes waiting for the pain to go away. Miraculously, it went away. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Tomoyo in front of my face looked at me worriedly and held my shoulders. The silk cloth is lying on the floor behind Tomoyo. I put on my best smile I could come up.
"Sakura are you okay? Do you want to rest or do you want some water?" Tomoyo bombarded me with questions that are starting to make me irritable but I have to act right now.
"What are you talking about? I've never felt better in my life." I laughed a hollow one. I have to think of something to make her forget her worrying the it clicked right into my head, her question she asked me earlier. "Well about Kaho, do you know that she is having twins?" I pushed myself from her grip and went to stare at the window.
"I really hoped it was a girl so I could teach her a lot of things. One more thing, if she grows up to be a beautiful woman maybe she could take my place in your fashion show." I said as I was trying to smile and not to cry. I was hurting deep inside knowing that there might be a possibility that I couldn't see the twins grow up but one thing is for sure I would be here when they would be born, hopefully.
Good thing Syaoran couldn't read my mind or else he would be disappointed, but hey, I took his advice about his "life is worth living belief" eventhough it is miserable and short. Wait a minute why am I worrying about what would he think? Maybe because he helps me a little bit last night but how can I be happy if I am going away forever soon?
"Please stop it." I snapped out from my reverie when I heard Tomoyo's tearful voice behind me. I turned to look at her.
"What are you." I was shocked to see her crying, "What's wrong sis?" I asked as I pulled a handkerchief in my pocket. I was about to approach her when she said something that made me glued to my spot.
"Please stop acting like everything is okay eventhough you're not." Tomoyo said as tears are flowing freely from her face. Tomoyo really can see through me but I have to keep the act.
"I'm not acting and really I'm fine." I said with a cheesy smile I could come up with.
"I've known you since were still young so you can't fool me. I know if you're happy, angry, annoyed, and scared. Right now, I know you are trying to fool everyone by telling you're ok but your not. Do you know why? It's because of your eyes. Why Sakura? Why did you close yourself and push everyone away by fooling us? I was hurt when I heard the news about you but what's even hurt the most is the fact that you're trying to deal everything to yourself and not letting others in." I interrupted her because I have enough. She had said too many things today.
"That's enough!" I voiced out my thoughts, as I couldn't keep the act anymore. "How can you say that you really know me eventhough you don't? Well Tomoyo, the truth is you still don't know me because you are not me and you don't have any right to tell me what to do or not because you're not my mother you're just only my best friend." I was so angry at that time because I couldn't accept Tomoyo's words because they are true. If I just cool myself off, I would see Tomoyo's shocked expression with new tears flowing in her face but I didn't. My mind was blank with anger at that time. It feels like someone is controlling my body and I just stood there in my mind watching the whole incident.
"I didn't know you feel that way." Tomoyo finally regained her posture and looked at the floor. ".I don't know what to say.sniff.all that I wanted say before is I'm always here and stop lying to me but." I cut her off because I really don't want hear her words anymore. They say that the truth shall set you free but why does it hurt so much?
"Do me one favor.leave me alone and stop caring for me. It would the be the best for both of us." I turned my back on her and went away. As I stepped out of the door, I came to my senses. Why did I lash out my anger at Tomoyo? How could I done that to her? But I guess what I did would be the best for both of us. Tomoyo would live a peaceful life because I wouldn't be a burden to her anymore. If I stayed a bit in her room I would hurt her even more, which is, I don't want to do.
I'm sorry Tomoyo and goodbye.
Author's note:
Sorry it took me so long to post this up. This incident really happened in real life but the girl in the real life isn't dying or something like that. So please R&R. I would like to say a thousand of thanks to those who review the last chappie. I was in a rush today so I haven't put your names in here. Sorry and Thank you thank you!