Waiting To Be Found
by Starlight-Heart
AN: Hey! This is my entry for Inspirations 4 on Gwendy's site, , who has is an amazing Harry/Hermione artist and also writes! So check it out if you have time and I hope you like this. Star x
Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, I don't own Harry Potter, blah blah blah, J.K Rowling does, blah!
Summary: One-Shot. Death separated them until they met in the everlasting light after that one long day.
Even after all this time, my death is still etched into my mind and it refuses to go away, as if it's taunting me of the life I was robbed of at such a young age. It's funny how the one thing that ended my sometimes depressing life is still there and yet it causes me so much grief it's unmanageable at times. I get lost in my own thoughts and quietly cry before a friend comes and picks my up and tells me everything's going to be all right, them unaware of how I really feel.
Everyone whom I loved and I lost in my time on Earth is up here with me. Most of the Weasleys, Sirius, Remus, and other important figures who had such a massive impact on my child and teenage years. But one thing that me and Ron constantly talk about is a person we have expected to see for a long time and yet we never have. That person's name is Harry James Potter, my best friend whom I died for.
I feel so empty without him. It's as if a part of me was torn apart when I realised that I was not going to see him for a long time. I cried in Ron's arms and I ironically prayed to God and his higher powers to send him to me so that I may be able to see him once more and until the end of time. I know that is terribly conceited of me but it pained me to be here without him when it seemed like all this time during the war, he was the one who was going to die with me. Or that's what I believed anyway. I have not even got a picture of him since you can bring no material possessions here with you. The last picture of I stored of him was just before I was taken away from him and that world and brought here, to my idyllic hell.
Flashback
It was raining. Of course it was raining; it was the perfect time to rain. This rain created a dark atmosphere with the black clouds rising above as if they were even against the good side triumphing. The rain had made the grass a bog, turning a simple wrong move into a death sentence. Numerous bodies were entangled in this thick mud whilst the ones still living continued to fight on with every ounce of energy and strength they had left, fighting for everything they believed in whether it be good or bad.
I was in amongst all of the living, fighting furiously against those bastards whilst people I knew and loved were being engulfed by the darkness forced upon them by this evil.
I had gotten through most of the Death Eaters pretty quickly but this one was proving to be tough. He knew every spell in the book along with every counter-curse and it was starting to get tiring and my morale was beginning to droop like a once beautiful flower.
"Hermione!" A voice wailed out in desperation, causing me to spin around and look for the source. And then my eyes found it with horror.
Ronald Weasley was lying on the ground with crimson blood pouring from his chest like a river. His eyes were filled with tears and blood and fear and the looked to me for help. He was pleading with me to come up with a plan so that he could get out of this situation but we were not at Hogwarts having one of our little adventures – we were both dying in different way.
And there was nothing I could do. I just stood there in a trance until I shouted through my tears that had trickled slowly down my face, "I love you Ron and I'll see you in a minute."
And he was gone. One of my closest friends plucked from me with so much force that I felt helpless and swollen from the inside out. But I did not have much time to grieve there as I was being swung around to face my enemy who was to become my murderer and the person's whose fault it is that I am here in the first place.
"I'm going to spill you're blood all over this grass," He hissed venomously as he clutched painfully onto my arm, his horrible musky stench being forced upon me. "I want your dirty blood to be set free so this whole fucking world can see how filthy you really are."
And with that, I felt a sharp object being thrust into my stomach which I realised was a sword of some kind. I leaned over in shock, looking at my blood pouring out and then at the culprit who was merely sneering at me and then pushed me onto the mud, sending even more pain surging through my whole body.
There were hardly any noises now but as I looked around, I saw Harry and Voldemort fighting bitterly at the end of the field with curses and jinxes whooshing through the air.
"Harry!" I cried out in the same way Ron had just done only moments before and Harry looked around like I had just done. We were just repeating the never ending process and deciphering out fates. Mine and Harry's eyes locked together instantly. He looked at me in a confused manner until it dawned on him what had just happened and what I was going through now.
I mouthed 'I love you' after he had just said it to me and as the darkness closed in around me, I shouted, "Kill that bastard!" I really hope he did…
End of Flashback
That was how I died. Yes it was painful but seeing Harry just before made it a bit numb as the emotions welled over me. I had said my goodbyes to my best friends, sure that I would see them both in a second.
But at the entrance only Ron was there to meet me. We waited and waited and waited until we soon realised that he was not coming. So we continued with this 'life' as best as we could without our faithful friend standing by our sides.
As I walk around this vast white space, I recognize just how crowded it is and I seek my refuge at the back of this place where people come to be alone with themselves. It is mostly used by people who have only just died or others wishing to get away from the people surrounding them and simply cry over their lost lives.
I have only talked to people I know as others tend to get used to being here before socialising with someone they do not even know. And plus, I do not need another reminder on how I'm… dead. Ron has met up with a couple of people from his childhood that died young while I have not. My mother and father are not even here.
I sit down in my corner and see a few of the usual faces but the other are new ones that have tears emerging from their hurt and confused faces. But it takes only a messy mop of jet black hair to catch my eyes.
I stride over, my heart beating outrageously in my chest and yet when I get to the person, I slow down suddenly and stop a yard behind them.
"Harry?" I call out timidly, hoping it was him and that my prayers and tears had been answered. The person spun around and I found myself staring at the missing piece of the puzzle.
"Hermione?" He asks disbelievingly before running towards me and embracing my body tightly against his. I return it twice as strong and the tears escape my eyes as I bask in the glory of finding this person at last. Harry is also crying and tugs at my still curly hair, as if making himself believe that I am real.
"I've missed you so much," I say feebly. "Where have you been?"
He abruptly stops and draws himself from the hug and holds my hand tenderly with eyes of sorrow and determination.
"Can we go some place else?" Harry questions. I quickly nod my head as I know that I would go anywhere with him as long as he got to stay here. I let myself be pulled into a scene where I hear Earth sounds once again.
Birds are chirping in the forest on my left whilst I can hear the sound of water rippling to my right. Harry and I are standing on an area of carefully manicured grass and then I realise where we are.
"Is this Hogwarts?"
"Sure is, my favourite place at this time of year but the rain is a bummer when it comes," Harry laughs, sitting down on the dry grass.
"You still have not changed. And neither have you're memories by the looks of it. Merlin, it's been so long since I've been here."
"Don't you re-visit you're favourite places in you're memories? It's pure bliss."
"No, I don't think its well to dwell on the past too long and also I've never found the need to some back."
"Oh, well I guess that makes sense."
"Harry, how long have you been here? Up in that place I mean," I asked suddenly, wanting to know about everything I had missed and the answers to the questions I so desperately needed.
He took a deep breath and said, "I came about an hour after you."
My smile fades into the grass like I've just been slapped across the face forcefully. "You've been there all the time? And you didn't tell me! Do you know what me and Ron have gone through all this time whilst you have been simply dawdling away the time that is so precious to us!" The fury in my eyes is beginning to rise cautiously as I forget all my happiness at having him back.
"Hermione, you don't understand-"
"I don't understand! Harry, I'm you're best friend so I think I know how it feel to be up there!"
"No you don't! You're not me so you don't know how it feels to be this supposed 'saviour of the universe' with people clapping you on the back with congratulations but you still have to carry on each minute with that constant nagging at the back of your mind that you killed so many people and now their saying congratulations to it! I caused so many people to be taken up there and I hate myself for it because when I wanted to die, they wanted to live but they still die for no fucking cause! I killed Voldemort – so what? We're all still dead, people are still suffering, evil is still lurking around each corner and guess what? There's no Harry Potter to save it now so they'll have to find some other poor kid to make a load of people die for no flipping cause and that kid dies as well!"
Harry was now standing up, punching at the air with anger while I just look at him with sudden sorrow replacing my anger swiftly and I step up to him and tenderly encase my arms around his neck as he broke down the barrier he had been holding and cried in my arms once again, like he had done so many times throughout our past life. I do not know how the time went but he still carried on crying into my arms until it seemed like he could do no more and I felt him trying to break away again.
"Harry, it's not you're fault," I said with my voice full of the deepest earnest I could possess at that moment. "What I've learned since I came here is that these people would have died eventually even if we did not want them to die or if they did not want themselves to die. It's just a way of life. People are given to us and people are taken away without a second thought. I hate it, everyone hates it, but it's true. You know I've never been much of a Christian but God makes everything happen for a reason and the War was just a way of making people stronger and more wise and for people to die for what the believed in. So please don't blame yourself because even though all of it was about you, you should be grateful that so many people died just so you could keep our world safe for the people they left behind."
Harry continued to stare at me as I finished. I even surprised myself of the words I spoke that I had barely thought about until now but it just seemed to make perfect sense, which Harry seemed to agree with as he nodded his head.
"You're still wise beyond your years Hermione Anne Granger. It's like you're a quill on parchment that continues to give out these never-ending essays and wise words," Harry said laughing but still full of strength.
"I'll take that as a compliment!" I said, exchanging the laugh and squatting him lightly on his upper arm.
We both smiled at one another as old memories came to light and we reminisce about the old times until the scene was changed by the water encasing on my skin.
"Great," I muttered in anger, crossing my arms and hunching over in trying to keep warm.
"I love the rain, it makes me feel alive," Harry said, bringing me close to him, holding my shoulder with his hand whilst the other was on the small of my back.
I shiver at the coldness of the rain despite the fact that I'm a bit warmer now. "But it still gets me wet."
"Don't you believe that the rain can wash away everything? Any doubts, fears or apprehensions," Harry said in a meaningful manner.
I slowly let myself free from his grip and stare up at him with my chestnut brown eyes and it finally comes to light that he is here, with us in a memory long gone. I touch his face and hold his arm lightly as I soak in his features. He still has his amazingly green eyes to his soul, his messy hair and the faint trace of what used to be a scar which was gone but left a mark, as if it was pained to be parted with an old friend.
"Yes, I do," I whisper before my heart takes over my mind and lean up towards him, stealing his lips in a soft and supple kiss that I had never experienced before. It was full of things that made my chest flutter and my stomach feel like it was going to fall out but I still held it and continued to hold it for as long as I could, hoping this moment would last forever. I had hardly thought about kissing Harry in this way before but with everything that had happened and my emotions whirring around, it seemed to make all the more sense. I fought to keep the kiss alive, hoping we could actually become alive so that I may feel this as a proper person on Earth so that I could spend my life with this man forever.
And as the kiss broke, I was left in pure bliss and smiled up at the man whom had just changed my whole aspect on death and life after it because if it was this good, then I never wanted to wake up.