Decernere, Part Four: Tara

Author: Batdz Angel (0/)

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of its characters. They are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. This is just a way to honor them.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Spuffy. Mentions of Tara/Willow, Anya/Xander, Spike/Dru, Dru/Angel, and Angel/Buffy.

Summary: After Spike's death at the hands of Glory, Buffy, Angel, and their friends find themselves learning about vampires and slayers. And the reason an insane vampiress chose a quiet, shy poet for her Childe.

Season: Alternate Season Five ending/Season Six.

Author's Note: For some reason, Drusilla started talking when I was writing a completely different story. So, here's the result of a moment that was supposed to be a fluffy Spuffy ficlet but wound up being something else entirely.

She has never been good at saying what she thinks, never been good at speaking but as she watches Xander rant and rave to Anya and Willow about Spike, Tara can feel her temper flare. She frowns as Xander continues, even though they've ordered dinner, Chinese in take-out boxes, and she gets to her feet quietly before entering the kitchen.

Pouring herself a glass of water, she sips at it, her fingers clutching the glass. She knows that Willow and the others don't want to remember Spike as a hero but he was. She remembers her time as one of Glory's brain sucks victims clearly, can remember the confusion at not understanding the simplest things, can remember the frustration at not being able to communicate...

And she can remember Spike.

Spike, who spoke to her gently, as if she weren't completely insane, unlike Xander or Giles or Anya, who hadn't even been able to look at her without grimacing. Spike, who hadn't grown angry at her accidental burning of his hand.

You go ahead and play peek-a-boo with Mr. Sunshine all you like.

She had felt his kindness, his sincerity in that one moment and she couldn't forget it.

She finishes off her glass and places it in the sink. Turning, she walks back into the living room and frowns as Willow says, "Xander I understand where you're coming from but Dawn really cared about Spike and maybe..."

"But why?" Xander asks her girlfriend. "Why should she mourn for that bloodsucker? I don't understand it! He didn't do a damn thing for her!"

"He was tortured by Glory for Dawn," Tara says unable to stop herself. "Or have you forgotten that Xander? He didn't give her up. He didn't spill the secret like everyone was convinced he would."

Xander turns to her, eyes wide as Willow rises to her feet, worry written on her pixie face. "Tara, honey," she says placatingly. "Spike was..."

"A good, kind man," she replies narrowing her eyes at Willow. "I'm not stupid Willow. Don't speak to me as I am."

Willow looks hurt but Tara is too angry to care. "I cannot believe any of you," she says angrily. "I remember how it was running from Glory and how everyone treated me like I was stupid. Like I wasn't human. Spike was the only one who treated me decently and he was supposed to be evil."

"You didn't know him like Will and me," Xander says and looks at Willow. "Right?"

Willow looks torn and hesitates before saying, "Tara, baby..." and Tara feels as if she's been hit in the stomach. She shakes her head, picking up her coat, and says, "I cannot believe any you. Buffy and Dawn are hurting so much right now, and all any of you can say is that you don't understand why. No one has even bothered to call and ask them how they're doing, have they? It's been two weeks and no one even mentions Spike to them. It's sickening."

"He was a vampire," Xander says through his teeth. "He doesn't deserve to be mourned."

"And I'm a lesbian witch," she tips her chin up high. "And a lot of people would say the same thing about me. So that begs the question of what kind of person are you really Xander? Because I don't like the one I'm seeing."

She turns and leaves. As she walks away, ignoring Willow's cries, she can feel the tightness in her shoulder vanish. She walks home, sees the lights on in Buffy and Dawn's house, and pauses long enough to look up at the sky. "I'll help them Spike," she murmurs. "I promise."

And for a moment, she swears she smells cigarette smoke in the night air.

End Part Four