Fifth year for the Marauders. All's calm in Hogwarts or maybe not so with a manticore infestation. Tante Giselle risks being shut down.

1975

12th February 1975

Dear Gellie

I have decided to give up this Tante Giselle gig as I am being supplanted by some upstart GG freelancer. Moreover, I am getting a bit sick of dealing with letters from witches asking how they can make their Sickles stretch to feed too many children or how to stop their wizards from getting themselves killed in this war. Would you believe I got a letter from some crazy witch about how to get her entire family and friends to become Death Eaters without resorting to Imperius-ing them?

Did you have any luck with the young lads I referred to you? I doubt your advice can cause any lasting changes to their lives. Everyone knows how stubborn boys that age can be. I know my advice to the witches about contraceptive potions to stop too many kids from coming and using a Body Bind spell in the event of their menfolk's stupidity will probably go ignored.

To add on, I refuse to respond to that crazy Bella bitch. Imperius indeed. What's with the young ones these days? Makes one miss the good old days when the worst was finding you and Albus just blew up my kitchen.

XXXX

Your Auntie Bathilda

Spring 1975

Dear Auntie

Please, no. I will sign off as Giselle if it means so much to you. I will even answer those whiny letters from house-witches and that crazy Bella bitch for you. Are there any more letters from Albus' fan club? Hogwarts or the like? How back is the war there. Has Albus been of any use? I do believe I still own a manor house in Budapest. Would you like to move there until this entire war blows over?

Your nephew

Gellert

15th April 1975

Dear Gellie

Why, you sound like you actually care about this gig. Sadly, the Prophet has decided to end the column. Apparently, someone in the Ministry did not like Tante Giselle promoting birth control potions to young pureblood witch-brides. I suppose there might be a bumper crop of students for Hogwarts in the coming years, if they and their parents do not get killed first. When you took off on your dark wizard jaunt, I thought it was just a bit of teenage rebellion – you know, hanging out with Muggles, baiting dragons, stealing wands – even if your rebellion lasted about half a century. Some boys are just slow to mature - like dear Hagrid and his choice of pets. If it weren't for the Hogwarts faculty looking the other way most of the time, he would be out of a job and home. There are few employment options for a half-giant who did not complete his education. And he isn't the brightest bulb about too. Silly lad still thinks a manticore is the perfect pet for him. He has been bugging Albus for one ever since they found a manticore nest near the lake last month. The school had to call in experts to remove the baby manticores. I wish I had been there to see Newt lead the manticores like the Pied Piper. Made it to the front page of the Prophet with that swivel routine – a change of news from all that doom and gloom about attacks by Death Eaters.

I do hope this group of Death Eaters come to their senses soon and we can all get back to brewing constipation potions and whatnot instead of fretting if we are on their hit-list. I do think witches are entitled to raise their babies without worrying about being widowed or slaughtered in their own beds, don't you?

Thank you for that kind offer, Gellie. However, I must decline as I have been there and found the place not to my tastes. Too stuffed to the rafters with all those dark artefacts your father's family collected over the years. You do realize it is infested with Boggarts, don't you?

XXXX

Your Auntie Bathilda

30th September 1975

Dear GG

Hi, it is me, Moony or RL. Thanks for your help. I am now in my fifth year at Hogwarts and Professor McGonagall made me a prefect. This has placed me in a bit of a dilemma. You see, I have three very close friends… Wormtail is mostly alright, but Prongs and Padfoot can be bullies at times. They tend to get carried away with their pranks… I think they go too far at times. Even if they mean no harm…

As a prefect, I should be setting a good example, right? But if I try to stop them from picking on Snivellus, will we stop being friends? I do not wish to lose my friends. What if they start picking on me as well, or start telling everyone about my furry problem?

Confused

Moony

Fall 1975

Dear Moony

Let us see, pup. If you choose to stop them, you might as well as join Snivellus in being bullied by your ex-friends, if you do not get outed as a werewolf first. Is it worth the trouble over a bit of roughhousing? Is Snivellus or anyone else worth losing your close friends over? Or you can keep your mouth shut and look the other way, ignoring that tiny voice yelping inside you.

A fool once said, "To do the easy thing or the right thing?" You sound a smart lad. So go figure it out.

GG

P.S. Oh Merlin, my tiny voice is back after all these years. Gimme me a break already.

2nd October 1975

Dear GG

I made it as an Animagus, but my form is a rat. I was hoping for something magnificent like a hawk or bear. Not a rodent! Prongs and Padfoot would not quit teasing me about it. I am so disappointed. Do I get a second go at this animagus process? The way things stand now, I am more likely to get squished by my friends than corral a werewolf.

Wormtail

Fall 1975

Dear Wormy

Sorry, the animagus process is a once-off deal. You do not get a second crack at it. There are worse forms you could have ended up with – a snake (no limbs) or a bug. However, is being a rat so bad? Rats could live almost anywhere – from sewers to palaces. With your smaller size, you might be able to wriggle your way out of a tight spot no bear could. The critters are little survivors, and I will not be surprised if you come out of it better than your animagi friends.

That said, an animagus' form is determined by inner traits. Perhaps you are natural survivor or have some affinity for rodents. Are you a rat-fancier? Or do you go nuts for a good slice of cheese? Prongs and Padfoot might be laughing now, but you can bet they will need your agility as a rat to open doors and the like for them.

GG

P.S. Do be careful not to stick your neck into rattraps. That would be awkward.

16th November 1975

Dear Tante Giselle

I am a magizoologist who has spent years working with deadly magical beasts. I must emphasize that a manticore of any age is not a suitable pet for anyone. However, I seem to be unable to convince a young friend of mine otherwise. In fact, I suspect that not all the baby manticores made it out of Hogwarts in March when my colleagues were clearing the nest. Short of confronting him directly, do you have any suggestions for this conundrum? My wife suggested threatening to report him to the Ministry but Hagrid does not deserve Azkaban. I do not wish to find that he has been eaten by any illicit pets he has hidden in his hut. I offered him some Horklumps to surrender the babies, but he refused. I know he is lying about not having any manitcores as Hagrid is terrible at lying.

Newt Scamander

P.S. Wait, this postal code looks familiar. Are you, by any chance, Grindelwald?

Winter 1975

Dear Mister Scamander

Seriously? Horklumps for Manticores? You need to up the offer. Perhaps a dragon's egg or firecrab will seal the deal? Or perhaps not. Otherwise, are any of your thieving critters up to breaking and entering? How is your big brother? Or did the manticores finally get him?

Yes, I am that Grindelwald. Age seems to have slowed your mental faculties. Too many run-ins with the Swooping Evils? Feel free to ignore my dark advice and go bawling to Dumbledore about those baby manticores.

Gellert Grindelwald

P.S. If you dare out me as Tante Giselle, I will curse your face off.

25th December 1975, Nurmengard

Dear Supreme Mugwump Dumbledore

We are writing to inform you that the prisoner appears to have been hexed with a Baboon-Bottom Hex smuggled in with the latest shipment of parchment and quills delivered for his use. May we check if you will like us to send him for medical treatment or wait for the spell to wear itself out by week's end as the sender promised? The anonymous sender also wrote something about him leaving her hubby alone. Currently the prisoner is moaning about being unable sit or lie on his swollen backside.

Merry Christmas

Chief Warden, Travers Merriweather

P.S. Please find enclosed a picture of his condition. He could not get his pants back on, so we covered it with a spare Christmas wreath for the sake of decency.

Author's Notes:

We can make an educated guess at what that tiny voice GG is referring to is and Moony's eventual choice between the right and the easy thing.

Newt wrote to Grindelwald previously over the fate of his Augurey. And yes, Mrs Scamander is responsible for that hex. Hagrid's blast-ended skwerts = manticore + firecrab. Perhaps Newt took that advice. Albus got a Christmas card from Nurmengard featuring someone's red, swollen bottom.