Announcement: For those of you who are just reading this story for the first time, I think I should point out that between the last chapter you just read and this one, there was a TWO YEAR break in which I did not update!! To everyone who started reading it back when it began in 2001, I love you I love you I love you!! Thank you for welcoming back my prodigal story... THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! to everyone who has ever supported me with this story... and to all of you who have stuck by me with your encouragement and motivation to get pastthat writer's block!! THANK YOU to Cree! My original coauthor and inspiration who never never gave up! This story is for and because of her. Thanks to Krista and to MidasGirl! You two definitely helped me the most!! I am so honored to have TWO friends who cared SO much about this! And, of course, as always, thanks to The Grasshopper! Because her name is just so cool ::lol:: j/k ;) You rock! You all rock!!!
And most importantly, FOREVER thanks to EVERYONE for the reviews!! As long as it took me to get back to this phic, it would have NEVER happened at ALL without all of your encouragement :)
Now I won't keep you waiting any longer... I worked SO hard on this chapter!! (haha if you think about it... two years of planning and battling and trying over and over again!!) I hope it's enjoyable! Please let me know what you think! Love and fmeek to all!!!
Two Days Before the Trial
The prosecution's six star witnesses were assembled at a large, oval table in a conference room at the District Attorney's offices. The D.A. himself and his associates, however, were not present. Just as he had been about the wrap up the day, he had been called out of the room on some significant matter. That was several minutes ago, and since then, a tense silence had reigned over the six of them. They had come today, two days before the trial's opening date, to be reviewed and drilled on their testimonies. The process was tedious and had brought up too many uncomfortable memories for any of them to be able to feel at ease now. And as the minutes slowly ticked on, the tension in the room gradually congealed.
Carlotta Guidicelli, the Spanish Prima Donna with the Italian surname, was in bad temper. She looked at her watch for the fourth time in the past thirty seconds, and then it was her unforgettable voice that diffused the silence, "I don't have time for this. I have a rehearsal to be at in hardly any time at all. Just give him the death sentence and let's be done with it."
The turmoil on Christine Daaé's face was quite blatant, but she held her tongue. For the past weeks, her fiancé had tried to keep her mind distracted from legal issues, and Christine played along...But in truth, the poor girl thought about Erik all the time.
Firmin Richard glanced over at Carlotta, "Please be patient, Signora," he used the diva's preferred title. "Don't worry yourself about the rehearsal..." Considering that it was he who was her employer.
She fanned herself rapidly with a device constructed of flaming blue peacock feathers. "The cast simply can't progress without me."
He answered between clenched teeth, "I'm sure they'll be just fine."
Richard's associate Armand Moncharmin jumped into the conversation in attempt to please the diva, as he often did, "Of course. We'll see to it that this is quick and painless."
Meanwhile, Christine crossed her arms and looked away from everyone. Raoul Chagny put a comforting hand on her arm, but he remained silent.
The entire room too returned to silence except for a random sniffle that came from the end of the table where the artiste known simply as Sorelli sat. The Prima Ballerina was not quite yet recovered from the dramatic emotional breakdown she'd had during her review as soon as the subject of Philippe Chagny had come about. It happened every time without fail, and the prosecutor was quite pleasantly expectant of her performance when she would take the stand.
But the peace did not last long before Carlotta's shrill voice rose once again, "What are they doing! What on earth is taking so long?"
Raoul glanced over at her reluctantly. "Do calm down, Carlotta. We're all working together here."
"We are not doing anything! We are sitting here, wasting time!"
Raoul had never been able to handle divas very well. Especially this one. "I'm sure he's doing something important. Just be quiet please! Everyone here wants this to happen as much as you do."
Carlotta felt there was no need to dignify such indignation with any response other than a vivid flick of her fan.
Richard was quite adept now at tuning out the diva's whining. He leaned over to Moncharmin, deciding to at least get back to business, "Have we drawn up the contracts yet for the chorus girls we hired to replace all those that quit?"
Moncharmin loosened his tie a bit. "Not yet. We're in the process."
Richard drummed his fingers irritatedly on the tabletop and grumbled, "This whole mess is putting us behind. Damn it all. Your season is already opening five weeks later than usual."
"It isn't my fault..." Frustrated by the conversation, Moncharmin reverted the topic, "I agree with la Carlotta. These lawyers should get their asses in here."
Raoul gave him a look for the sake of the ladies present, "Mr. Moncharmin, please..."
The manager suppressed a groan. "I'm sorry. But we are only getting more behind. I run a business, you know. And that insane cretin did more than throw off our schedule; he made almost half our employees break their contracts."
Christine tugged softly at Raoul's sleeve, pulling his attention away, "Raoul, I really don't want to be here right now...All they're going to do is insult Erik and I don't want to hear it..."
Carlotta interjected with a chuckle. "If something's the truth, it's not an insult."
Christine did not meet her eyes. "He's not insane..."
Moncharmin glanced across the table to Christine. "He tried to kill himself, didn't he? That alone makes him crazy in my book."
Christine shook her head. "No..." But she had nothing else to add.
Richard backed up his partner. "And even if it wasn't because of insanity, why would he have done it? It's simple; he's guilty, and he knows he's going to get it either way."
Christine couldn't listen to this, and she tugged harder at Raoul's sleeve.
He spoke up with lack of enthusiasm to the others, "Do you mind? Nobody wants to talk about this."
"I do," Carlotta smirked. "Why don't we ask her why he did it? She was with him that day."
Raoul did not appreciate being reminded.
Carlotta continued, "Perhaps she gave him a good reason to kill himself."
Richard looked at Christine curiously, "What did you say to him?"
Raoul answered for her, "That is none of your business."
Moncharmin was just as inquisitive, "Did you tell him to do it?"
Christine gasped, "No!"
"He was just so generous enough to just do it for you?"
Raoul smacked his hand against the table. "Shut up, all of you! It had absolutely nothing to do with her! Only an idiot would try to kill himself for such an inane reason, and you're all idiotic for even implying that. Leave her out of this."
Christine turned in her seat and looked at Raoul. Part of her was most thankful for his support...But another part of her was stunned by such a vehement dismissal of the idea that killing yourself for someone was "idiotic."
The room had returned to a hush, but Christine's ears were filled with the pounding of her throbbing heart. It had been her fear from the start that something she had said or done during her visit had been what caused Erik to attempt suicide...But with Raoul's loving encouragement, she'd forced herself to not fall into self-blame. She had wanted to talk to Erik about it...But they wouldn't let her see him...And she'd wanted to go back again later...But why hadn't she? Why hadn't she ever visited Erik since that day? There had been too much happening...Raoul had been trying too hard to distract her...She had never had the chance...
She didn't know any more than anyone else why Erik would want to commit suicide...But could it be possible that his reason was because of her? Or was it possible that it was her fault? She suddenly could not refuse the idea. Why had she never gone back to see him again!
Finally, it was Christine who broke the quiet, whispering very softly, "Raoul, I want to go home..."
Raoul sighed and answered without looking at her, "We'll go as soon as they get back..."
On the other side of the table, one manager commented to the other, "A pity the suicide attempt wasn't more successful."
"It doesn't matter. They are going to convict him. And at least this way, we'll know he didn't take the easy way out. They're going to make sure he gets all that's coming to him."
The ballerina Sorelli's voice suddenly burst out in a sob, "It doesn't matter what they do! Nothing will bring Philippe back! Where have all your priorities gone? Have none of you any respect for the dead?"
Raoul felt his stomach turn.
Christine saw his grimace and gently laid a hand on his arm.
Moncharmin sighed again and looked at his watch.
"Mein Gott! Aren't you done whimpering about it? Philippe isn't the only one who is dead!" Carlotta cannonballed back into the discussion.
Sorelli huffed in outrage, but before she could retaliate, Richard's voice cut through:
"Listen now, ladies, please! Every life is important." Although he especially meant those lives that had brought him income. "And that's why we're here. Enough of this squabbling! We are people of culture. And as Mr. Chagny said, we have to work together for justice. We have all of us been wronged."
Sorelli folded her lithe arms across her munificent breast and gave herself a little hug. She forced back another sniffle and spoke, a bit more contained, "I don't see why we have to work at all. God and the Devil can see what a lunatic monster he is. They'd convict him even if none of us showed up."
Christine's clasp on Raoul's arm tightened as Carlotta readily agreed to Sorelli's comment, and she begged him once more, "Raoul, please..."
Raoul's handsome brow furrowed in a difficult attempt to maintain manly composure. His voice was still soft, but his tone was quite irritated, "As soon as they get back, ok?..."
Christine was surprised by the way he spoke to her, and after studying his expression for a moment, she let go of his arm, sat back in her chair, and turned her eyes away from him, not answering.
Sorelli practically leaned across Raoul to get a look at Christine. "What's the matter with you? I suppose it doesn't bother you at all that the man who was supposed to be your future brother in law was brutally murdered?"
Christine's response was quiet and careful, "Of course it bothers me, but you've heard all we have...There was no evidence that it was Erik who killed him."
The ballerina threw up her hands, practically striking Raoul in the nose. "No evidence!" she shrieked. "What more evidence do you need? They found Philippe by the lake! By the lake! And he was drowned! How could a drowned man drag himself out of the lake? Somebody murdered him! And who else could it have been!"
Raoul crossed his arms against his chest and leaned back away from Sorelli's crossfire. Every word was making him more uncomfortable.
Christine could think of no new argument, "Perhaps he made his way down with good intensions, and the boat was on the other side. He could have tried to swim and something went wrong...He...drowned...and Erik pulled his body to the side to keep it from being gone in the waters..." She knew that all this had been ventured before and so she did not wait for a response. She glanced at poor Raoul briefly before continuing, "In respect for the deceased and his brother, I won't comment further."
Raoul kept his eyes turned away from all of them. Even Christine. The way she had said that was so blunt...
Sorelli was far from finished. She sniffed yet again, "You've always been on his side! You...You are the devil's advocate!"
Carlotta's fan stuck the edge of the table, and she laughed at the little soap opera playing out before her. "I could have told you that from day one!"
Sorelli wanted to be taken seriously. "We all knew it...Why is she here? She will jinx us!"
Carlotta touched her throat gingerly in memory. "Jinx indeed!"
Richard's head snapped up from the conversation he had resumed with Moncharmin. "Ladies, please!"
An uproar of shrill voices was abruptly cut short by the grating sound of Raoul's chair as he suddenly pushed it back and stood up. He spoke sternly, in a very low voice, "Excuse me." And then he just walked out of the room and let the door slam behind him.
Christine straightened where she was sitting, just as surprised as the rest of the group. A long silence. Everyone's eyes roamed back and forth from one to the next. Then after a moment, Christine too stood, and she hurried out of the room after Raoul.
He had gone only a short way down the hall, and was now near a large wooden bench, pacing back and forth quickly with his arms tightly folded.
She went to him and gently laid her hands on the backs of his shoulders. "Raoul?" She was rather bewildered...She was certain she had never seen Raoul quite like this before. She had seen him angry and proud, and even heartbroken, but never had there been such a rigid despair all about him.
He remained frozen for a second, but then he sighed very softly, and his shoulders slumped as if in defeat. He spoke as if he were answering a completely different question, "Yeah..."
"Oh, Raoul...I'm sorry for what they were saying in there..." She came around so that she could see his face and made certain her touch did not break contact.
He lifted her hands and removed them from his shoulders, but he did not let them go. "Don't be...They have nothing to do with you. Or us..."
She squeezed his hands tightly, and searched his eyes. He looked so incredibly sad! "Raoul...If they say something that hurts you even in the slightest way...you're not by yourself. There is only us, Raoul."
He put his arms around her then and held her close, nuzzling into her hair. He said then as he said it all the time, "You're the only one I need..." But then he added as though he had just fully realized the idea for the first time, "You're all I have left..."
Christine returned his embrace affectionately, and she thought only of him. She did not think of Erik, nor of any of those people in the other room. She only thought of how desperately she wanted to take Raoul's pain completely away. "I'll try so hard to be all you need Raoul...I love you so much. I always have...ever since that day on the beach..."
He was not quite certain how to take her outpouring of feeling...And far from it suppressing his own emotions, he felt them rising now to block his throat. He pulled back from her, but it was only so that he could touch her hair as he looked at her face. "He never understood our love..."
For a moment, Christine was not sure who he meant... "Your brother...?"
Raoul's sorrowful thoughts were in the distant past. "He was my brother...And my father...He raised me..."
Christine brushed his cheek with her fingertips. "You miss him so much..."
He stepped away from her and clenched his fists as if he were about to have some sort of outburst. But then he managed to contain himself and only sighed under his breath with piteous softness, "Why..."
It broke Christine's heart to see her simple, pure love so distraught with complexities of emotion! She closed the distance he had created between them. She could not let him battle this misery alone! But that single 'Why' had brought Erik once again to the forefront of her mind. Erik...He was the reason why, wasn't he?...The answer to why Raoul suffered so much. There was absolutely nothing she could say; instead, she threw her arms around Raoul and held him tightly.
He reciprocated just as tightly. "You're my light, Christine...If only he could have known you as I know you..." But Philippe had never wanted to know her once he'd realized their love affair was more than a casual fling. Raoul added, despondently, "I don't think he ever really understood what real love was..." And the bitterness he realized in his own tone only saddened him all the more.
Christine kept herself pressed against him, and said sympathetically, "I wish I could have gotten to know him better..." How could she help but feel the sudden flash of guilt that she was at fault for causing Philippe's death? "If I hadn't ever met Erik, if none of this had ever happened...he wouldn't have ever...ventured down there...and he would still be alive..."
Raoul's arms constricted around her rather forcefully for just a moment, and then he let her go and stepped back, erupting, "You didn't "meet" him! That bastard fraud kidnapped you! Every man in the building went down there after you! Philippe was the only one he murdered!"
The sudden outburst shocked Christine...but more shocking was the realization that she knew that what he said was completely true...For a moment, she was struck speechless. But then she managed, very quietly, "And almost you..."
She felt like she was just waking up from a reoccurring nightmare that forced her to relive that terrifying night all over again. Memories swam before her of Raoul gasping in the heat of the torture chamber...Begging for water...And then too much water! Erik had spared the lives of everyone in the Opera with Christine's choice, but the water was still rising, and Raoul was going to drown! Begging, sobbing, pleading, promising...to that unrelenting black shadow...Anything...Anything at all for Raoul's life!
Raoul had begun to pace back and forth again with quick, staggered steps. "And every one of them in there! They care more about using Lippe as a way to punish the criminal than the fact that he's dead."
Christine went straight to him and gently took his shoulders. "Oh, Raoul...I'm so sorry...so sorry about the past weeks..."
On impulse, he jerked away and continued to pace. "Why? You didn't do anything."
She watched him carefully...But really, what had she done?...Perhaps it was more a question of what she had not done. Her tone was very soft, "In a way, I've been just as inconsiderate as every one of them..."
Raoul stopped pacing and looked at her. "What? No... What are you talking about? It's..." He shook his head, his blonde hair tousling with his aggravation and pain. "How could you even group yourself with them?"
She reached to him again and took his hands this time. She kept her eyes steady on his...She forced herself to push all excuses aside...It took her a some time to gather her thoughts, and it was a long moment before she could speak:
"There are several groupings here, I'm afraid...Perhaps I should join them in one." Words were difficult to find, but she forced herself to continue. This was the truth, and she could not let herself avoid it any longer...For Raoul's sake. She could not find the way to say exactly what she meant, but she hoped she could make him understand:
"Everything leads to Erik being the one to...cause Philippe's passing. But because I...because I felt sorry for Erik...because I cared about him...I tried to pretend that the facts weren't there...but everything...It all points to him." She truly did not want to continue, but she forced herself to say it, "I guess...I was foolish...to want to support him because everyone else hates him...but that does not change the fact that...even regardless of every other law he broke...He hurt you. And you are the most important person in my life, Raoul...I can't pretend anymore that it isn't true or that it doesn't matter...Erik is a murderer, and not the victim."
Raoul was so absolutely and utterly shocked by this complete turnaround that he was not sure if he could even believe her. She was watching him and waiting with eyes full of candor and love for some kind of reaction, but he could only ask with uncertainty, "Do you mean that...?"
At first, she did not even hesitate. "I hate to see you like this...and you wouldn't be if Erik hadn't..." But then she was silent again for several moments, and she looked as if she might begin to cry. But before Raoul could respond, she added, "I mean this." And she actually did...And she found the understanding somehow terribly saddening.
He let her hands go and instead took her by the arms. He stared into her eyes and his look kept her tears from forming. His grip on her arms was just as firm as his words, "You wouldn't be either... Nobody would. If it weren't for him, everything for us could be so...normal."
A distant instinct begged Christine to defend Erik, and she almost started to...but then, for some reason, she just didn't, and instead said, "I'm so sorry that I have ever been against you in this...We are going to be married, Raoul. We're on the same team...We always will be."
Her declaration assured him in one way, but it also brought more uncertainties to Raoul's insecurity. "Have we always been, Christine...?"
Christine bit her lip. She was really quite unsure of the true answer. "I don't think we have been...not on every issue at hand." She wanted to be entirely honest.
Raoul somehow was not surprised. "Why not? Why is it different now?"
"I think it was because I was...Well, I mean that I guess it was that I could not see him for what he really was...is...It still feels almost impossible to let go of the Angel of Music...but I must because none of it is real..."
Raoul was not sure how he was supposed believe that. "But you knew it wasn't real a long time ago."
Christine wanted so badly to for him to believe her! "I know...but the impression of it all...The idea of him. I didn't want to let it go..." He voice grew softer. "I still don't..." She lifted her eyes to again meet his. "But I need to."
"Yes...But..." He was almost a little suspicious. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
She reached up to his face, cupping her hand against his cheek. "Because of the way you just had to leave that room. Because I don't want you to hurt anymore...I promise to you that I will do whatever I can to make things right for you...and right for what is right. Because what he did was wrong...Worse than wrong, it was devastating...And I need to serve the cause of justice as much as he does...As much as we all do. And that means that I need to do what it takes to ensure justice for you, Raoul...Honest, equal, American justice...I swear it to you. It's...It's the right thing to do... and...How could I do any less? After all that you have been through...for me. And the faster we can put this behind us, the faster we can move on...and you'll be happy."
Raoul slid his own hand over hers and studied her face. He vaguely wondered why his breakdown in front of everyone else was enough to make her change her mind when Erik practically killing him had not been. But he cast out those thoughts and focused only on the open love in her eyes. "You'll be happy too"
Christine nodded in agreement, but she said no more.
Raoul was also silent for a few moments as pleasanter plans began to formulate in his mind. When he finally spoke, Christine was taken aback by the words, "Christine, I want us to get married the very day after all of this is over."
Christine smiled just a little. "The very day?" It took her a moment, but then she added, "I can't wait."
Raoul returned her smile. "Yes. After the trial's wrapped up and once the jury goes into deliberation, we'll have everything prepared and tell everyone to be ready at a moment's notice." As he spoke, he was becoming quite excited by the idea. "Then the day they finish, it will all be over, and you and I will be free! By the next night, we'll be married."
Christine spoke quickly to keep herself from investing any thought into the implication of what he'd just said. "Who would have thought...that when we were children and we met...that you and I would end up married." She suddenly felt the desire to hug him, and she did so quite tightly. "I love you, Raoul"
He returned the embrace. "What, you didn't know back then?" There were no more doubts in his mind.
Christine laughed. "Did you?"
He kept his arms about her. "The moment I first saw you."
Christine was touched and wished she could see his eyes, but she did not want to pull away. "Really? You're not just saying that?"
Raoul kissed her cheek gently. "No...Not really...The moment I first saw you, I thought 'Who the hell wears a scarf to the beach?'...But then after that moment, yes."
Christine looked up at him and then just started to laugh. "It was windy!" She knew it sounded ridiculous, and she could not stop laughing, "Besides...Perhaps I was just waiting for a dashing young boy to rescue it for me."
"Ahah! So it was a trap!"
Christine giggled again. Just seeing Raoul happy now made her happy. "Well...Either way, I am glad I wore it that day. I would have never met you otherwise."
Raoul was quite resolute. "No. We would have met somehow. One way or another. This is fate, Christine. We're meant to be together."
"We are..." Christine's smile now beamed up at Raoul, but her mind had actually started to dwell on the dread of the idea of reentering the conference room.
Raoul leaned down and planted tender kisses against her ear, whispering, "I wish we could get out of here...Or maybe just find a nice, dark closet."
Christine playfully pushed him away as she laughed again and lifted an eyebrow to look up into his wily, blue eyes. "A dark closet, hm?" She teased, "Save it for the wedding night."
Raoul frowned and Christine was not quite sure how serious it was meant to be. "That is happening ASAP. The day after they announce the verdict, just you watch."
She returned his frown with a smile, but a part of her mind was wondering what Raoul would do if he didn't like the verdict...Her thoughts were abruptly cut off as the door to the room suddenly opened and every person that had inhabited it emerged. The District Attorney, Stephen Harris, was the only one who remained at the door as the others all made their way down to hall, too immersed in their own conversations to acknowledge the startled couple.
Harris nodded to Raoul, "Mr. Chagny, I just need to speak with you for a few minutes about some of the details regarding your brother's murder."
Christine was immediately distraught to see the suffering so quickly recapture Raoul's features. She squeezed his hand as he left her side to return to the room, "I'll wait for you right here..."
He only nodded his head a little in response; his throat had tightened again, and he kept his eyes turned away until the door closed behind him. Christine silently prayed that the interview would not last long for his sake...
The gilded voice of la Carlotta made Christine jump as it suddenly rang out from behind her:
"That twit cries more than my shih tzu."
Christine turned around to face her. Carlotta was fanning herself again with that peacock atrocity. Christine had no qualms about giving her a look of undisguised revulsion. "His brother was murdered. At least he is able to care about a loved one dying, unlike some." She made her point clearly to the diva.
Carlotta only laughed out loud with the resonance of a warbling bird. "Oh, I care, little one. But do I sit around whimpering about it like a dog? No. I take my place in the action! My performance on the stand will be a triumphant success!"
Christine bit the insides of her cheeks and answered with disgust, "Another performance...This is a wonderful publicity stunt for you, isn't it? Even if you cared nothing about the life of Philippe Chagny...The man you worked with side by side every day for the past three years dies, and you deliver the best performance of your life. Haven't you ever thought about Ubaldo instead of yourself for one single moment...?"
Carlotta had to scoff. "He would never want anything less! Do you think he would want his great name to fade out quietly? Or to be proclaimed in the lights for all to see!"
Christine gave her honest opinion, "I think he'd look past a fake career if you were dead and he was alive. Wouldn't you want to be mourned as you should?"
"Fake!" Carlotta shrieked. It was the only word she'd heard. "If anyone's career is fake, it is yours, you little witch! You were nothing without that madman pulling the stings and harassing us all!"
Christine pretended she had not heard the second part. "Yes, fake! No one will remember you in ten years! Or me! The difference is that I couldn't care less because there's more to life than performing..." She looked back at the door to the conference room and felt a distinct longing for Raoul's company.
Carlotta smacked her fan against the bench and declared, "The world will remember la Carlotta forever!"
Christine forced herself to look back at her. She sighed. In a way, she almost felt sorry for her. "We'll see, I suppose..." But perhaps there was more to the feeling...
Carlotta laughed again, and her tone reverted to the familiar condescending arrogance. "I can just see what more there is to your life than performing. Your pathetic...blonde...waif grandchildren will be listening to my CDs while you wash your husband's dishes."
Christine looked away and tried not to pay attention. "Is that truly all you see?" She kept her eyes trained on the door, willing it to open again.
Carlotta shook her starched, red curls and clucked her tongue. "I understand you think his money will buy you all the happiness in the world, but if you think there is anything better to life than performing, then you were never a performer to begin with." She chuckled to herself and picked at a loose feather on her fan. "Of course the critics who spoke the truth about your vile acting knew that even before I did."
Christine nodded, trying to focus on the larger issue. "Perhaps I wasn't..." She then continued more firmly, "But I am not marrying him for money, Carlotta."
Carlotta flicked the feather in Christine's direction. "Sure, dearie."
"You're so hateful, Carlotta...Honestly, I've never met anyone else in the world like you. You're completely unique in that category." Why wouldn't the door open?
Carlotta tilted her head back and laughed yet again. She seemed to be decidedly entertained by the girl's defiance. "But that is why we're all here, dearie. This whole affair is a matter of hate."
Christine let her eyes return to her antagonist's face when she said that. "What do you mean?"
Carlotta folded her fan and took a step towards Christine, speaking in a voice an octave too low, "What else could have gathered the likes of us all together for the same cause."
Christine inched toward the door. "...Perhaps we're not all here for...hateful reasons..."
"Oh? And why are you here, then? For fun?" She tapped the tip of the fan against the side of her chin.
Christine folded her arms and turned away. "No..."
Why was she here? Christine remembered something then out of the blue...Something that had somehow slipped her mind...She was supposed to make a phone call...Weeks ago...More? Call Erik's lawyers and tell them she had to cancel her appointment...She couldn't meet to sign the papers that would make her a witness for Erik's defense. Why hadn't she called? If she had only called them, perhaps they would have talked her into signing...and then the D.A. could have never subpoenaed her...And she would not be here now having this upsetting conversation with this vile woman. And Raoul would be here alone...Yes...Raoul! It was for him that she hadn't called. This was her duty. Her duty as an honest citizen and her duty to love.
"I'm here to...support my fiancé in this situation...and to be done with it as quickly as possible." Wasn't there a duty to love...?
Carlotta did not believe one word. She rolled her eyes and Christine could not quite tell if there was sarcasm when Carlotta spoke, "What a fine little wife you'll make."
Christine's voice was barely audible, "Better than some..." But why was she not sure? Could it be that she was here for hate? No! The answer had to be no! How could she ever hate Erik...
Carlotta continued, her mockery now clear, "Doing your little wifely duty to make sure the devil who inconvenienced all our lives gets his just desserts."
Christine shot Carlotta a look, but it faded quickly. "...Don't call him that...please." Christine's resolve, which had been so strong when Raoul's arms were around her, was fading. She forced the words in effort to convince herself as much as Carlotta, "He did...What he did was against the law...and he...He does need to be penalized for it. It's the law...and...That's why I'm here. It's my responsibility. It's the right thing to do...It has nothing to do with hate."
"You're kidding yourself," Carlotta snapped, frustrated by the girl's persistence. "If it's easier for you to coldly execute someone, even a madman like him, without any emotion, let yourself believe that. But at least the rest of us are honest when we admit that he deserves to be killed because we hate him for what he did to us."
Christine didn't know why she was letting this get to her... "But there's no way you could possibly understand..." She could not continue. Deserves to be killed? Was that what Erik deserved? Christine suddenly realized that when she had decided that justice needed to be served, there truly was a possibility that Erik could be executed! There was more than a possibility! She had agreed to be honest, but her honesty was what would sentence him...It would damn him! But what could she do? It was the right thing to do! Alongside everyone else, she would be laying out the cold facts of Erik's guilt that could just possibly send him to his execution! And she would never see him again...She would never again hear his voice. It finally hit her. Erik would be dead. And that was justice!
Christine was sick. Christine was weak. How could she serve justice when it felt so wrong...And how could she not? A part of her had always known...or perhaps assumed that she would always see him again sometime... Even after all that had happened...But Carlotta had been saying it all along—They all had! Erik was going to be sentenced to death! Why! How! ...How...? Raoul...Her poor, dear sweetheart, who had suffered so much by Erik's hand... She had promised Raoul...He was her fiancé...
She finally spoke again very softly, "You're right..." She was going to cry.
Although Carlotta's tone was idle, she was trying to hurt Christine. How she wanted to see tears flow from this girl who had had the world handed to her on a silver platter. "If anything, you might as well hate him for giving you that illusion of that fake career of yours. After all, if you think you'll ever outshine me again, you're going to be sadly disappointed. Now that there's no one blackmailing us on your behalf, you're pretty much through, sweetie. I doubt the management will even renew your contract at the end of the year." She then added maliciously, as if she was privy to some unknown information, "In fact, I'm quite sure that they won't."
Christine stared at the sadistic diva through a river of anguish. Her blue eyes, shredded with agony, moved just slightly back and forth...as if even they did not know which way to run. How she strove to shut out the throbbing reverberations of the words, but more commanding they grew! What Carlotta said really was true...Only...It was not terrible!
Epiphany!
And the most excruciating awareness! Even had Christine suddenly realized she hated Erik, she could not have felt more unbearably ill. Every word was true! And it was the most wonderful thing in the world! Erik really had made Christine everything that she was...And he was a part of her. A vast part of her. And the fact that she had refused to accept the truth...She could not even comprehend! Erik had saved her from destitution. He had changed the course of her life. He had shaped her world. More than the world—He had delivered her Heaven and Hell, and all within the realm of devotion to her! Without him, she knew she would have remained just any other girl, eventually engaged to a man, ensured of becoming a typical housewife with nothing ever again to be out of the ordinary...If even that...Without Erik, would she and Raoul have even ever been reunited? She had insisted to Carlotta that there was more to life than their career... But if Erik had never been her teacher, she would have had none of that!
Before Erik, she had been ready to forsake singing, forsake her father's memory, and even God himself! Unbearable despair! She had surrendered. And then the miracle...His voice had come to her...That voice that had coiled from the very recesses of her own mind...The voice of an Angel.
An angel of pure devotion and generosity...And he had given her everything. Even Raoul. She loved Raoul...And had she not just assured Carlotta that love was all she needed to live a happy life? She knew she would be happy with him...but how could she ever be as happy as she could have been? If she lost Erik! If Erik were to be put to death! Even if she never saw him again, never heard him again, he must still be a part of the world! The world that would have never begun if Erik had not given it to her! The slightest notion of happiness would never again even exist if Erik were gone...Gone forever...
"Oh..." She could not even speak...Yes, Christine had been wounded, but it was not in the way that Carlotta had intended.
Carlotta eyed Christine in an attempt to figure out what was going through the girl's head. Impossible. She would put what she wanted in Christine's head. "You hate him too, admit it... He swindled you over... He used you as a way to control us...And now that they caught him, you're left with nothing." She pressed her lips together for a moment. Why was that look in the girl's eyes? She kept on, "Of course, it's not as if you had anything before all this either. But you must hate him for making you think you could achieve more than you'd ever be worth." The laugh was almost forced this time.
No. It was Erik who had made Christine anything at all! He had given her a soul. Only he could have done that. Erik.
She tried to give Carlotta an answer, "I...I'm not...I mean..." Why could she not speak! What was she supposed to say? She was suddenly struck by the miserable understanding that she could never let Raoul discover such feelings. And if she betrayed herself to Carlotta, how the witch would love to taunt her already tormented fiancé with citations of favor for Erik...
There was nothing Christine could say. There was nothing she could do. The glowing light of salvation surrounded her, but she could not touch it...She could not...There was nothing she could do. She had no choice—And Erik would be executed.
Finally, Christine spoke again, very softly, and filled with desolation, "You are a very cruel woman, Carlotta."
Carlotta could not keep a little frown from creasing her red eyebrows. "I'm on your side here. Just because the truth isn't pretty doesn't mean that it's not the truth."
Tears on Christine's cheeks. Hadn't that been Carlotta's goal? But these tears weren't right...Not right at all...And Carlotta was just as relieved as Christine when the door suddenly opened again and Raoul emerged from the conference room.
He was surprised to see the two of them there together...But he was much more concerned by the distraught look on Christine's face and the way her folded arms were so forcefully entwined. He could be quite certain that Carlotta had been the one to cause Christine's state, and he gave the diva an incensed look as he went to Christine and put an arm around her shoulders. He spoke to her softly, "We can go home now..."
Christine only gave a little nod of her head, and her own arm slid around Raoul's strong waist. She just wanted to get away. She only glanced back at Carlotta once. In a very bizarre way, did Christine almost feel...grateful to her...? Had it taken such blatant cruelty to force Christine to truly understand? She had relinquished her very soul... Forsaken Erik...And if Carlotta hadn't...
Raoul started to take her down the hall, and he only nodded a brief, yet polite goodbye to Carlotta.
She waved her fan back at both of them, and her voice was strangely cheerful. "See the two of you in court!"
Christine stuck close to Raoul's side as they walked, and she wiped at her own tears a little too forcefully.
Raoul was seriously concerned. Once they were out of earshot, he asked, "What did she say to you this time?"
Christine kept her hand over her eyes. "Its nothing...nothing out of the ordinary, I guess...I shouldn't allow her to get to me like this..." It wasn't necessarily untrue...
Raoul gave her a little squeeze. He began to repeat his promises from before, trying to cheer her up, "It will be all over soon... The day after this is finished, we're getting married..." And then he added with a mixture of vehemence and humor, "And she's not invited to the wedding."
Christine let her hand fall. She looked up at him, and could only study his handsome features for a moment... If it weren't for Erik... She tried to smile. 't you just picture her objecting..."
Raoul laughed and opened the last door for her. "She'd do it just to be a bitch."
She wanted to laugh...Raoul could not be more beyond wonderful and loving... "That would be awful..."
But would love ever make her happy... In a world without Erik... There was nothing she could do. But would he be executed? Perhaps...perhaps there was another way...Perhaps there was something she could do...There must be a way to avoid death! A lesser sentence...It was possible...There had already been so much death...Even she herself felt dead.
Raoul's laugh cut through her thoughts. "Good God..." he gasped. "And she'd probably want to sing."
Christine needed to be alone for these thoughts...She tried to push them away for the moment and focus on Raoul. She shook her head. "I don't even want to think about that...It's supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. Just thinking about her at all makes me nauseous."
They had reached the car where it was parked, and Raoul unlocked the passenger door and held it as she climbed inside. "That's about all she's good for."
Christine's answer was soft as Raoul went around to the other side. "...You would think." That she had achieved such insight from Carlotta's provocation amazed Christine. The irony of the situation struck her as nothing less than miraculous. The methods of the Universe were beyond her comprehension...And she could not help but wonder at the mysterious ways of Fate...Of God?
Raoul did not understand. "What do you mean?"
Christine lied, "Nothing...I just...hope there's more to her than it appears...That's all."
If Christine could not understand herself, then Raoul would never understand! There had to be another way...She could not lose Erik. Her world could not lose him. Her world had never existed before him and it would crumble with his execution! How could she contribute to that?
She was flooded with a hundred times the sick terror that had overwhelmed her that day, weeks ago, when she had been told of Erik's attempted suicide...And he had done it because of her! And if she were to donate to his execution now...She had kept herself from dealing with this issue for so long, and now it was too late! It was impossible! She 't cope...She was sick. She was weak. And there was nothing she could do.