DarkWarLordofDoomness: Teme baka ana! I learned a sentence of Japanese! Well, it's not really a sentence, but anyways......

StevetheEvilTomato: Kam ona nuj polevka? (O.o) Nani?!?

DarkWarLordofDoomness: Steve can only speak in languages other than English right now. He just said,"Where is my soup?" in Czech.

StevetheEvilTomato: Teme ki-chiga akuma! .

Audience: (It's been a while since I've used them...;) O.o

DarkWarLordofDoomness:........I THINK he just called me an insane and evil spirit in Japanese. Not too sure about the meaning of ki-chiga.

Steve: Je n' parle pas francais! Je parle englais! Je suis americain tomate!

DarkWarLordofDoomness: "I do not speak French! I speak English! I am an American tomato!" And on to the disclaimer!!

DISCLAIMER: If I owned the guys,

do you think I'd make a fic

'bout them being spies?

If people said they owned them

Do you think I'd give a heck?

No. I'd go up to them

and show off my big paycheck.

So back off lawyers,

Ya know who I'm talkin to,

if you try to mess with me,

my tomato will bite off your shoe.

Mission Two: Death in the Drycleaner's

1/10/04 (That's the first day of the tenth month of the two thousand-and-fourth year)

730 hours, In the city that sleeps until noon....

"Goooooooood morning, City That Sleeps Until Noon! I'm the Weatherman, bringing you the weather, man. Heh heh....get it? Cause I'm bring you the WEATHER, MAN!? Yeah, that's right. I'm hip. Shake that thang. Wazzup, YO! I'm da top dawg! And you can expect mostly cloudy skies with a little drizzle-monizzle-fo-shizzle biz-" CRASH!!!

Fox slowly rolled out of bed and flopped to the floor. He slowly, so slowly, crawled to the other side of the room where the shattered remains of his radio/alarm clock had landed after colliding with the wall. The numbers were now forever frozen as 7:32.

Yawning, Fox dumped it into the trash can along with the remains of his previous alarm clocks. He scratched his ear, threw on the clothes he found on the floor, and rummaged through his sock drawer until he found his blaster. Sticking it in his pocket, Fox ran out the door, pausing only long enough to scribble, 'Get new alarm clock' on his To-Do List.

He almost ran into Marth outside Falco's room.

"Doesn't ANYONE use the 'snooze' button anymore!?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Falco, never an early bird, despite being a bird, hadn't even bothered smashing his alarm clock, or throwing it at the wall. Instead, he shot it, causing a small explosion that woke up the two people with rooms next to his. This did not make them happy.

Fox decided that it would be best to continue walking when Peach, still in her pink nightgown, stomped past him armed with two paintball guns. As he neared the elevator, he heard shouts of "Ow!!! Peach, those things hurt!!!OWOWOWOW!!!" Fox pressed the shiny button marked "DOWN" and waited. When it opened, Mewtwo silently floated in after him.

Mewtwo pressed the pretty button marked 'CONTROL ROOM" and frowned at the speakers, which were playing the Mission Impossible Theme instead of elevator music. He floated over to a metal panel and removed it with his psychic powers. Focusing slightly, he started messing with the sound system.

The elevator doors were almost closed when Falco dived in. He was covered with paint and rubbing his bruised arms. Falco peered out the doors that were closing again, and saw, to his horror, Peach coming towards him, armed with a paintball machine gun.

'Why, oh why did those stupid things have to be made!?!?' Falco expected those to be his final thoughts. Peach was going to get in before the doors closed, and he'd be trapped with the madwoman in a small space where there was no room to run. He could see her battle-angry eyes now. Soon he would be dead.

The doors closed with a whoosh, and Falco heard Peach slam into the door. Fox grinned at him, finger still on the emergency shut button.

"You. Saved. My. Life."

"You'd better save ME once she finds out I closed the door."

Do-do-dododo, do do, dun dun duuuuun, dun dun duuun-

"Every day's a day I'm getting away with murd-"

"Craaaaaaawling in my skiiin, these wounds theeeeey will not heaaaaaal-"

"This is the Winterfresh Network, where icy cool breath is always on!"

"Hey, turn back to that last channel, I like that song."

Mewtwo rolled his violet eyes and fiddled with the sound system for a second.

"....how I faaaaaaaaaaall, confusing what is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeallllll!! There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, confusing, consuming, this lack of self-control I fear is never-ending-" DING!

The elevator had arrived at the destination. Mewtwo immediately left, but Fox and Falco lingered in the elevator for a second, singing along to the song.

"Fox-a! Falco! Get-a your asses-a in here-a NOW!!"

"Okay, okay! Sheesh. Slavedriver." Falco muttered darkly.

"Alright-a, we have today's-a mission.....Where'sa Peach?"

'Probably knocked out after her head hit the elevator door.' Fox thought, hoping she hadn't seen who had closed the door. "I think she's still sleeping."

A very annoyed Marth sat in his seat. One of Peach's shots misfired, and paint is very hard to get out of hair. The rest of the group stared at the yellow glob of paint in his blue hair.

"Uh...Marth....?" Link wanted to ask,"Why is your hair covered in yellow paint?" but instead asked, "Where is Peach?" Not that he cared.

Falco knew his tailfeathers were fried if Mario found out what happened, so he sent LOOKS at Marth, hoping he'd get the hint.

He did. "She's probably asleep."

Mario sighed. "We don't have any time, so we'd a-better get going." He pressed the button on the tape player.

"Spies, you have a job from the president himself. This is of the highest importance. The President will now address you."

The Spies all stood up, with Roy muttering,"Stupid protocals...." A voice with a Texan accent started to speak.

"Mah fellow Americans and protecters of this great nation, I need you to pick up mah dry-cleaning in an hour. I need it back by ten, when I leave for my next vacation. May I also remind you to vote for someone who knows what he's doing in the upcoming election, and that I am working to help you put food on your family!"

Master Hand's voice came back on.

"Remember, this guy signs our paychecks. If you do not succeed in this mission, he will have nothing to wear for the dinner party with the British Prime Minister, and our country will look even worse in front of the other nations. GET YOUR ASSES ON IT NOW!! This message will self destruct in 3....2....1! KABOOM!"

The Spies ducked. After waiting for a second, they all peeked at the tape recorder, which was still intact and unexploded.

"Hahahahahahahaaa!!! Losers! It actually blows up NOW!!"

KABBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coughing and sputtering, many of the Spies started to grumble about getting a new job.

"Roy, cough, Fox and-a heuh heuh Falco, plus," Mario paused and coughed again. "I-a, Fox, Falco, Link and Roy will go on this-a mission. Mama mia, I-a hate these-a exploding tapes...."

845 hours....

Fox parked the jet, hopped out, and stretched. When the others finished jumping out, he took out the remote key and locked the jet with a juh juh!

Mario, dressed in commando gear, held up his binoculars and checked out the surrounding terrain. People in the streets stopped to stare at the jet parked in the road, and at the people decked out in army clothing.

"Alright-a, the-a coast is clear. Roy, on-a my signal, blast open the-a doors of the drycleaning-a. Fox, Falco, go in and-a secure the area. Link, when the area is-a secure, go in and getta the President's clothes. Bring a walkie-a talkie. If I tell you to getta outta there, run-a like hell. Ready....a-set....that-a-go!"

Roy threw a grenade at the doors of the drycleaners. When they saw the grenade, the surrounding people ran like heck. The pyro grinned as the doors were blasted apart, and he pressed the play button on a boombox. It started to play "Mission Impossible."

Fox didn't even wait for the explosion to stop before he ran towards the drycleaner's. When he was close enough, he used Fox Illusion to speed through the doorway. His sharp ears picked up the little zzt! that meant Falco was right behind him. They moved so that they were on either side of the door, and pointed their blasters around the room.

The few people inside the drycleaner's were on the floor with their hands over their heads. Every few seconds they would glance up to stare at the giant canary and the fox, both with black paint smeared under their eyes. Falco took out a walkie-talkie. "The area is secure."

The little Asian man who owned the place stared at both the intruders and what had been done to his property. He felt like crying.

Link jogged in. "I'm here to pick up the President's stuff."

The owner nodded and moved so quickly he was a blur. "Here you go...." he stammered, scared for his life.

"I got it." Link yelled into his walkie-talkie.

"Something'sa coming! Get the hella outta there!"

"Copy!" Link shut it off and grabbed the package as two guys crashed through the roof. They both were wearing banana-yellow (and very stylish) army suits.

"They'ra from the-a Banana Republic! Hurry!" Mario screamed at Falco.

Fox grabbed two paintball machine guns he'd "borrowed" from Peach, and dived in slow-motion while shooting the soldiers.

Screaming as their stylish clothes were ruined, the Banana Republic soldiers fell to the ground.

"There's too many! We need-a to leave NOW!!" Mario yelled at Falco through the walkie-talkie.

Fox, Falco, and Link ran out, shooting paintballs at the soldiers around them.

"Ow!!" shrieked one soldier as he was shot. A woman in the streets covered her child's eyes from the grisly sight of his ruined outfit.

They hurried into the jet, and took off.

"Everyone all right!?" yelled Link. He glanced around the jet.

"Mario's taken a hit."

Emerald eyes widening, Link ran back to look at Mario. There was a splatter of paint on his arm.

"It...it stings!!!" Mario whined through gritted teeth.

"We'll get you help soon, Mario! Just hold on."

Fox flew the jet until they were above the White House, where Roy threw the drycleaned package out the window. He then sharply turned it so they could head back to their base.

On the White House Lawn, 999 hours....

"OW!!"

"What is it, Mr. President?" a Secret Service guy immediately drew his gun.

"Oh...mah drycleaning."

Later, right before the dinner party with the leaders of many important, powerful nations, he unwrapped it, expecting his suit. Instead...

"Oh mah...."

Secret Base, 2000 hours...

"....So he ended up going in a DRESS. Albeit a sexy red one, but a DRESS nonetheless. You failed your mission."

"It's the drycleaner's fault!!"

"Why are you telling this to a prerecorded tape?"

"..........................."

"That's what I thought. You all can expect severe penalties, the first of which being-"

"That's so unfair!"

Why don't you punish the dycleaning guy!?"

"Shut up!"

Everyone shut up as the tape commanded.

"You can expect many severe penalties, the first of which being Zelda returning home."

The Spies cheered wildly.

"................."

They stopped, and said, "AAAAAAAAWW!" like little kids being told they couldn't have candy. But Link could hardly restrain his excitement at the thought of Zelda's return

"And a nun will be sent tomorrow to smack your hands with rulers."

The Spies winced.

"And this tape will explode!"

KAAAAAAAAABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!

Wiping the soot away from their eyes, the Spies started to plan their plans to surprise Zelda when she returned.

ThIs Is ThE eNd Of ChApTeR 2

DarkWarLordofDoomness: Well? Do you like it? Hate it? Think it needs ketchup? Then REVIEW!! And back off lawyers!!!

StevetheEvilTomato: Je ne mange pas les chaussures!!

DarkWarLordofDoomness: You will eat the shoes of any lawyers who come, and be happy to do that!

Steve: ......Non.

DarkWarlordofDoomness: (picks up HokeyPokeyStickofPain) Review, or you'll suffer the same fate as Steve.

Steve: OoO!!!!!!!!

This fic will self-destruct in 5 seconds unless you press the purple button.