Hey all...Thanks for being patient with me. There is so much going on it's not even funny...If anyone would like to yell at me for not updating, IM me at PunkGothBabeeGrl or find my email...

Suze's POV:

If I'd known that trip to Lake Tahoe was going to be our last one together, I would have made it more memorable. Yes, I remember every detail of the trip, but I would have made it...better, I guess. If I'd known the return car trip was going to be the last opportunity for me to kiss my husband, I would have kiss him deeper than I'd ever kissed him. I wish I'd known...

Or rather, I wish I'd been born psychic. So I could see that damned tractor trailer being driven by the drunk.

Being driven straight into our car. Being driven so fast that Paul had time to swerve...He swerved so his side was impacted by the truck. His last words...I'll never forget them, even now, 25 years later.

"I love you Suze...I'm sorry if I never made you happy..."

Never made me happy? He'd made me happier than anything! "Paul, I love you...You always made me happy, happier than anything..." and then choking out another 'I love you' as Paul used his remaining strength to kiss me as the ambulance shrieked to the hospital, trying to get there on time...

But they wouldn't. Paul kissed me, peeling off the oxygen mask they'd put on him, and then I watched his baby blue eyes flutter close one last time.

"Time of death...Nine forty-seven p.m." The paramedic said quietly. "I'm so sorry for your loss, ma'am."

I said nothing, just laid my hand in Paul's and cried.

"Susie? Where are you?" My mother's frantic voice came over the line of my cell phone. Surprisingly, not broken in the crash.

"Mom...are the kids awake?" I asked, my voice heavy with tears.

"Yes, they've refused to go to bed. Where are you, what's the matter?"

"I'm at Memorial Hospital. I should be there soon. Make sure they stay awake, please?" I asked, holding back more tears.

"Of course, Susie, but why are you- Mommy!" I cried lightly as the phone was ripped from my mom's hands and little Peyton's voice came over the line. "Mommy, Uncle David showed us this really cool computer game. You get to move little people around, and play house!"

"Sounds like fun, Peyton." I sniffed. "So you've all had fun with grandma and grandpa and everyone?"

"Yeah, but we miss you and daddy. Hailey, stop, I'm gonna ask! Mom, Hailey wants to talk to Daddy." Peyton's inncent tone caused me to burst into tears.

"Sweetie...we'll be there soon, Ok?" I said. "I'm going to hang up so we can get there."

"K. Bye mommy, I love you."

"Love you too, sweetie."

I hung up my cell phone and continued crying until I felt someone tap my shoulder.

"Susannah?"

Jessie...