13 I Wish It Were Like That
Albus sat on his desk pondering over the events of the past week. It had been a week since the day he punished Severus.
Severus had seemed to withdraw into himself. He rarely spoke to anyone until necessary or when directly spoken to, but he would come up with the shortest answer possible, ending the conversation at that.
He barely ate the meals. Sev hadn't made a move to approach Harry to apologize to the child, and Albus was well aware of the reason. His threat hadn't gone in vain. He knew his son inside out to figure out what Sev was thinking. His son was afraid of being away from the ones he loved. The longing stares Sev cast at Harry or the smell of fire whiskey coming off him hadn't gone unnoticed by Albus.
His red-rimmed eyes with dark circles beneath them gave his improper sleeping habits away. Albus regretted all he said to Sev that night. He knew he shouldn't have forced Harry on Sev when he wasn't ready to father a child or without Sev's consent on the matter.
Harry might have felt bad about his dad not wanting him, but still, it would all have been better if he had talked to Sev before taking a decision or at least have gone to check on them after they were settled together.
It wasn't Severus's fault. It might have been to some extent because rather than turning Harry away, Sev could have tried to get along with the child, but Albus had a big hand in all the pain his boys were suffering.
Severus may have abused the child verbally and mentally, but he never laid a hand on him, except when he spanked Harry for wetting himself. Albus sighed as he realized the errors in his decisions and actions. He wasted no time to floo over to Severus's quarters.
He stopped dead in his tracks as his brain registered what Sev must have been doing. He snatched the blade out of Sev's hand as he sat down beside him.
"Sev," he said softly, drawing his son's attention.
"Headmaster," Albus sighed as he heard his formal title coming from Severus.
"Why?" Albus inquired, running his hand over the few slashes on Sev's wrist, healing them as he looked at Severus.
"You didn't want me anymore," Severus replied, looking down at his hands.
"Sev, I am really sorry, my child. I never asked you if you wanted Harry. I should have checked on you two. I am really sorry for punishing you in front of everyone. Would you find it in yourself to forgive this old man?"
That's when Severus lost his resolve of holding his tears back and buried his face in Albus's robes, sobbing softly.
Albus held his son as he cried, shedding a few tears of his own. He could feel the heat radiating off Severus and knew his child was suffering from fever, maybe from the lack of sleep and food. He slightly waved his hand, spelling a fever reducer into Severus's system.
After about 20 minutes, Severus was calm enough to talk as he pushed away from his father's embrace.
"You don't have to apologize, dad. It's my fault. There is no one to blame except me for what Harry has suffered. I might have not wanted him, but he is my son and my responsibility. I should have at least tried. I don't have to keep up appearances anymore now that the dark lord is gone. Even if you have talked to me and I would have refused to take Harry in. He would have eventually found out and would have been hurt then too." He took a deep breath before continuing.
" I must have tried to be a father to him, even if I wasn't ready. I might have not abused him physically, but what I did had a great mental impact on him. Now I think of it, I always wanted a reminder of Lily and now that I have it, I will cherish it. I know I have missed a crucial part of his life, but I am willing to start all over again babying and spoiling him on the way, considering he never had a childhood in the first place at the hands of Petunia as she never treated him more than a house elf or even worse."
Albus nodded with a smile on his face. Thinking. How similar the two were. They both loved profoundly and forgave quickly.
He brought Severus into a hug, letting go after a few minutes.
"As for you punishing me. You did the right thing. You know why, dad? Because as Harry said, you are my father. You don't need to apologize for anything. I might have felt embarrassed about being punished in front of everyone, but that's alright. I may have realized what I did to him was wrong but if you haven't punished me that day, I might have never known how it felt when your father refuses to recognize you as his son or when how it feels like to be refused the right to use the bathroom and wet your pants in front of anyone. That day, I truly realized my mistake when I myself went through the pain Harry must have endured since he found out he was my son. He might have not said anything, but now I know exactly how it feels to be ignored belittled, and most important to be alone with no one to care about you. When I felt it so sharply, he is just a child. I can imagine the struggle he might have gone through."
"Don't worry Severus, everything will be alright. You will find out Harry can be very forgiving when it comes to people he cares about."
"I wish it goes like that."
"It will," Albus said, Patting Sev on the shoulder, offering comfort.
"But tell me what exactly made you realize the fault in your actions?"
"His diary."
Albus nodded.
"Harry is very intelligent," Severus stated suddenly.
"Well, he has got two very intelligent parents. How could he not inherit that trait?" Albus smiled.
"One day he came to me with his homework wanting me to check it for him. He left them on my desk. I told him to redo it without even looking at it. He did as I told him to without even questioning me. Everyone was praising his work when he handed them in. His potions essay was very well written as well."
"That day he cooked breakfast and never ate it himself. It was the most delicious pancakes I ever had. He is a great cook when I can barely make tea without using magic even now."
Albus let Severus continue talking as he listened to him praise Harry for all his deeds. He wished Harry was here to hear all this as Severus continued to speak.
"He performed very well in class. He might have outdone Draco and Hermione if not for me being biased towards him. Each of his potions was perfect, but I never even once praised him and I will work on changing that."
"I want to make up for everything I did wrong. I want him to know he is worthy of being my son and I love him. I want to show him that he can come to me whenever he wants. I will be here for him."
"Everything will be fine. Don't worry." Albus said, placing his hand over Sev's, smiling up at him.
The Next Day,
Severus looked at his son as he completed his rounds, taking a seat behind his desk. He wasn't sure what to do or where to start. He looked over at Harry who was sitting at the very back of the class as if trying to hide from him. He walked up to Harry who flinched violently, as he leaned over his son's head to peer into the cauldron, having not seen him coming.
"Well done, Mr. Snape. Thirty points to Slytherin for making an acceptable brew." He announced, making his way back to the front as the class gawked at him due to him calling Harry by his actual title.
He peered from under his long bangs of hair in time to see a small smile grace his son's lips as he continued to concentrate on his potion. He needed to make amends in some way or the other. He smiled to himself, sparing glances at his son time and again to find him scribbling notes on a parchment as he stirred his potion accurately.
Harry was a natural at potions, Sev was just too blind to realize it earlier. He had to admit he had been biased towards his son, but he will make sure to make up for the childhood Harry missed. He didn't care about getting the credits for anything. From this day onwards, all that mattered was his son's happiness.
From that very day onwards, Sev would spend as much time as he could with Harry, helping him with his homework, praising his efforts at anything and everything. He spoiled his son every chance he got with numerous gifts and goodies, wanting him to know that he was wanted and loved.
It was the day of results before they knew it. Sev was very happy when the headmaster announced the results of each year, simultaneously declaring his son as the topper of the second year followed closely by Draco and Hermione. Albus had decided to announce the results in front of the whole school with the house of the year. Slytherin won the house cup. Students were having last-day revision classes before their holidays.