A Misfit Christmas

To AnonGirl88: Hey there Anon! I'm glad you and Fishy liked the last chapter! I think it's plausible that the Coyote is an actual spirit and is Lance's guide. I don't think Mr. L counts if you hired him. Enjoy the new chapter!

To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Mike does have a point. You shouldn't expect a natural prankster to be completely straight-up about anything, especially a spirit like Coyote. Enjoy the new chapter, Rae!

To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I read the new chapters of "Holidays Are Hazardous to Your Health" and I loved them! Man, Trumpwear, Vegas, and Christmas insanity. You gotta love it. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy this new one!

To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Glad you liked the madness so far! Wanda just about to have Craig under mistletoe when babies attack with whiffle bats? I LIKE IT!!! I'll see if I can do something with that. Enjoy the new chapter!

Disclaimer: "Hey, wait a minute! You're not Santa! You're Mick Foley!" - Torrie Wilson, Christmas in Iraq 2004

Author's Note: Hey folks! L1701E here! Sorry I was so late updating this! I've been ill, had writer's block, and some family issues to deal with. So, enjoy the new chapter!

Chapter 7: A Prank Begins and a Discovery is Made!

The Pit Barracks

Jennifer Hendrix Starr, the Southside Misfit and Southside Rocker bassist/vocalist/acoustic guitarist codenamed Shining Star, hummed happily as she wandered around the barracks, looking for the quarters of the two Joes that would be victimized for the prank.

"Let's see…where are…ah!" Jenni smiled as she walked into a Joe's quarters. "There we go…" She placed a note on the Joe's bed. "Now on to the other intended victim." She raced off further into the barracks.

Elsewhere in the Pit

"Where is that noise coming from?" Vicki Stephens, the hex-casting Southside Misfit and Southside Rocker guitarist codenamed Vixen, blinked as she tried to follow the terrible noise that she heard earlier. It sounded like someone was strangling a group of cats. She managed to follow the noise to the Joe Dojo's garden, where she found a certain group of triplets.

"Hark, the herald angels si-ing, glory to the newborn king…" Trinity sang. Or at least, tried to sing. The girls were all clad in matching Christmas sweaters and jeans, as well as Santa hats. Their singing sounded like they were strangling cats. It was the noise Vicki "Vixen" Stephens was trying to find the source of.

"What in the world?!" Vixen blinked. Trinity stopped singing and looked up at the older girl with a smile.

"Hi, Vixen." They chorused.

"Girls, what was that?" Vixen blinked.

"We're practicing our Christmas carols!" Quinn grinned.

"Yeah, we're going to go around town and sing carols for the people!" Daria added with her own grin.

"They'll love it!" Brittany added. Vicki blinked.

They'll love taking a shotgun to those three after they hear their singing voice. Vicki thought. She quickly shook her head. "Well girls, you certainly sound…unique. Very unique."

"Well sisters, I think we sound terrific." Quinn laughed.

"I think you girls need a little more practice." Vixen sighed. "Or at least play a tape of instrumental Christmas tracks."

"What do you mean?" Trinity asked in unison.

The Pit Barracks

"Okay, let's see…" Jenni Starr mumbled to herself as she wandered the barracks with Pietro's second note. "Where is that guy's…huh…huh…huh…Ah!" She grinned widely. "There it is!" The blonde Starr walked into a Joe's room and put the note on the bed. Jenni giggled happily. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy! This prank is going to so great! Pietro is never going to know what hit him! Merry Christmas, Maximoff, hee hee hee."

The Pit Christmas Party

Lance Alvers sipped some punch from the bowl on the refreshment table.

I had better enjoy this before that idiot Pietro spikes it. Again. Lance mentally sighed. He noticed a certain gray-skinned girl standing next to him. "What's up, Shorty?"

"Hey Lance. Is it true?" Spyder asked.

"What's true?" Lance blinked.

"Is it true that you have a spirit guide?" The gray-skinned 'younger sister' of Avalanche asked. Lance blinked at that question.

"Huh?" Lance blinked. "Spirit guide? What made you say that, Shorty?" Spyder shrugged.

"Nothing. I just overheard that talk between you and WrongWay." Spyder replied. "And that Vixen girl said that your imaginary Coyote friend was an actual spirit." Lance huffed.

"That Coyote is no spirit, Spyder." Lance huffed. He noticed the Coyote appear with a wave and a grin from the corner of his eye. The geokinetic mentally grumbled. Oh, great. Him again. Why won't he leave me alone?! "Look, shorty. Vicki believes what she wants to believe. And so does Mike. That doesn't necessarily mean it's true. The Coyote is just a stupid side effect. He's an annoying hallucination caused by mental damage done to me by that lunatic Magneto. Nothing more, nothing less. He's no spirit." As Lance spoke, he kept eyeing the dancing Coyote out of the corner of his eye. Don't let him drive me nuts don't let him drive me nuts don't let him drive me nuts don't let him drive me nuts…Lance kept chanting in his head over and over again like a strange mantra of some kind.

"You okay, Lance? You keep looking back and forth." Spyder blinked. Lance sighed.

"I'm fine. Go find someone else to drive nuts, shorty." Lance groaned. Spyder happily saluted and ran off. Lance chuckled.

"She's a nice kid." Coyote chuckled. Lance glared at the hallucination. Coyote immediately put on a more innocent look and shrugged. "What?"

"Leave me alone." Lance growled. He then sighed in defeat. It's no use. He won't go away. That's it. I've snapped. Now all I need to do is commit a few hundred murder sprees, all with some odd, yet genius theme. Why me, God? Why do you pick on me all the time? I mean, first, you give me my great childhood. Next, I become a mutant and get stuck with a bunch of idiots. Then, I end up a part of the Misfits, and I get stuck with more idiots. Did you create me just so you can have someone to torture?

"Oh Lance, you have such a low opinion of yourself." Coyote grinned.

"You're a real pain, you know that?" Lance grumbled.

Well, well, well! Looks like Jenni and Craig's prank is proceeding smoothly! What insanity will happen next? Which Joes' barracks did Jenni put the notes from Pietro in? What is the true nature of the Coyote? And will Lance ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!