A Misfit Christmas

To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I know you love my fics! You review everything I put up! I'm glad you liked seeing Bazooka. He's a funny Joe to work with. He's so funny when he's being dumb. I'm glad you liked the last chapter and found it very funny. I hope you find this new one just as good. Enjoy, and I can't wait for you to put up some new stuff!

To Sparky Genocide: Hey there Sparky! Pyro is kind of getting a taste of his own medicine, but in his defense, it really wasn't his fault he developed a thing for Angelica. Bazooka visiting a mall with Spyder and the Triplets? Bazooka sitting on mall Santa's lap? Bazooka pounding the mall Santa for not being the real Santa Claus? I LIKE IT!!! I'll see if I can do something with it. Enjoy the new chapter!

To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Well, that should've been a clue as to the Coyote's true nature. Could a hallucination hand out drinks? Besides, in 'Take the Long Way Home' by Metal Dragon1, the Brotherhood are currently being trained and cared for by a spirit right now. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Will Lance get an answer? We'll see. Enjoy the new chapter!

To The pilot of eva unit 04: Hey there eva! Nice to hear from you again! Could I throw in Aja/Lightspeed and Rapture or the Titans' Terra and Raven? No offense eva, I do wish I could, but my Misfit fics are rather crowded already. It's tough giving everyone some spotlight. By the way, that's an interesting name. Where'd you get the idea for it? Enjoy the new chapter!

To AnonGirl88: Hey there Anon! I'm glad you and Fishy loved the last chapter. I laughed myself doing the scene with Barbecue and Lionheart, and of course, poor old Lance still can't seem to get himself a break. Enjoy the new chapter!

Disclaimer: "I really get to express myself through these bikes." - Paul Teutul Jr., American Chopper, during the episode "Jet Bike"

Chapter 9: Some Last-Minute Christmas Madness!

A shopping mall in town

"Oh Boy! Oh Boy! Oh Boy!" Daria, Quinn, and Brittany Delgado and Olivia Osnick, the East Coast Misfits respectively codenamed Trinity and Spyder, hopped up and down and chattered happily. Accompanying them was Bazooka, Raven, and Alpine.

"How was it with the Southside Misfits, Raven?" Apline asked Raven. The Native-American Cobra defector shrugged.

"It's alright. I have never seen a bus fitted with anti-gravity units before I met those kids." Raven shrugged. "And the red-haired girl, Lisa. Her room scares me sometimes. She has a shrine to Pyro in there and she constantly carries a plush toy of him. That Johnny B. Goode is always tinkering and building stuff." She noticed something odd. "Uh, Alpine…is Bazooka waiting in line to see Santa with the girls?" Alpine blinked, and he noticed that Bazooka seemed to be doing just that.

"Ah, he's fine. Now what were you saying?" Alpine asked.

"Well…" Raven took a second to find her place. "That Johnny B. Goode guy has invented some interesting stuff, like a calculator that can also translate 20 languages. And there's Trouble and WrongWay. They like to cruise around town and start fights and get girls. Mike Baxter, he's WrongWay, tried to flirt with me." Raven was suddenly interrupted by a laughing Alpine.

"Sorry, sorry, just that I can imagine how you reacted." Alpine laughed. He then heard some noise. "What?"

"WAIT A MINUTE!!!! YOU'RE NOT SANTA!!!" Bazooka's voice roared, then the sound of a punch and angry kids was heard. Raven and Alpine's jaws dropped and they looked at each other.

"Uh oh." They said together.

"Come on. Let's get them out of here." Raven sighed.

The Pit Christmas Party

"Uh…is he okay?" Mike asked Fred. They were looking at Xi. Throughout the entire party, all the half-human half-snake Cobra genetic creation was doing was staring at the Christmas tree. His eyes looked completely glazed, like he was zombified.

"Oooh…pretty…" Xi's only movement was the occasional blink. Fred stared at Xi for a second.

"Ah, he's fine." Fred waved. "He did that when we visited the X-Geeks for Christmas." He noticed Lila walk in. "Let me guess, you paid the Human Cannonball a visit?"

"Yeah." Lila shrugged as she walked by. Meanwhile, Lance was outside, having a little conversation…well, more like a confrontation, with a certain 'friend' of his.

"How. Did. You. Do. That?" Lance hissed.

"Do what?" Coyote yawned nonchalantly, cracking a smart-alec grin.

"Don't give me that, you freaky…thing!" Lance snapped. "What are you? I want some answers. Now."

"Now Lance, is that any way to treat someone who you should consider very valuable?"

"What are you yakking about?" Lance scowled.

"Think about it, you doofus." Coyote laughed. "Our first meeting was not an accident. Don't you remember the vision quest Spirit took you out on?"

"My DNA is damaged." Lance muttered. "One of the side effects of my constantly evolving powers is the tendency to see hallucinations at times."

"Ah, but if I was such a hallucination, then could a hallucination hand you a cup of punch?" Coyote grinned. Lance blinked in realization.

Yeah, a hallucination did hand me an actual cup of punch. If he just did, then what is he? Lance turned his head to the Coyote. "Coyote…what in the name of everything are you?"

"I told you during your vision quest." Coyote smirked, crossing his arms. "I'm your spirit guide. You're destined to go on a certain path, Lance Alvers. It's my job to make sure you go along that path."

"Path?" Lance looked confused. "What kind of path?" Coyote's smirk grew.

"I can't tell you, Lancey-boy. You have to figure that out yourself, my friend." Lance thought about what the Coyote just said.

"Then how come the others can't see you? Can you explain that?"

"I'm your guide, not theirs." Coyote grinned.

"It's because of you they think I'm nuts!" Lance groaned. "And do me a favor."

"What?" Coyote blinked.

"As long as you're going to be guiding me…can you use a less annoying person for your voice?" Lance asked. "Like maybe Starchild or something? Oh better! Steven Tyler!" Lance grinned.

"Like this?" Coyote asked, using the voice of the legendary rock singer. Lance nodded with a smile.

"Thanks. I appreciate that." Lance smiled. The Coyote let out a grin and disappeared.

"I'll be baa-aack…" Coyote laughed as he disappeared. Lance groaned.

"I'm going to bed." Lance sighed as he walked back towards Misfit Manor. When he approached the building, he heard screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Pietro screamed as he zipped by. Lance's eyes widened when he saw that. He then started laughing when he saw who was chasing him: A very angry Leatherneck and Wet Suit.

What did that dolt Pietro do? Lance mentally laughed. He saw Angelica, Jenni, and Craig run by, carrying cameras.

"I can't believe it worked!" Angelica whooped.

"What I can't believe is that we managed to trick those two." Craig chuckled.

"That'll teach him! Right, Angelica?" Jenni smiled.

"You got it!" Angelica laughed, hi-fiving Jenni. Lance rolled his eyes with a smile.

Maybe being a little crazy might be helpful after all.

Well, well, well! Looks like that little mystery got solved! What insanity will happen next? Will Pietro be able to get away from both Leatherneck and Wet Suit? What'll the Misfits get for Christmas? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!