(Thursday 12-23-04) Wow, people. Only two days until Christmas... Technically really only one and a half... I'll probably update something on Christmas and rant about what I got in the perty lil' note up here that nobody reads anyway... If it's worth ranting about. It should be. Anyway... Thanks for reviews, etc etc etc, and if I don't update, Merry Christmas if you celebrate that, happy holidays if you don't... Anything else? Hm... Not that I can think of.

CHAPTER FIVE
Favoritism!

"So, Kurama, you know the deal," Shadow said, sitting down across from him. He sighed.

"Yes, Shadow.

"State your name and age for the records."

"What records?!"

"STATE YOUR NAME AND AGE!"

"Which name?"

"You are Minamino Shuichi, age seventeen. Okay? Or you could be Kurama Shuichi, age unknown."

Kurama sighed. "Just ask a question, Shadow. I want to go home."

"Don't get that attitude with me, young man!"

"I'm older than you. But that's not important. Ask a question."

"Man, it's not as fun when they WANT me to..." She sighed, sinking back in her chair. "I'm hungry now. Can I eat your heart?"

"Nnnnooo..." Kurama said, staring at her.

"Why not? What do you need with a heart?!"

"I need it to live!" the boy snapped.

"Why do you need to live?"

"I like living, thank you!"

"Really? Cuz I do too, and I find it amazing we have something in common."

"...What?"

"We're so different! I mean, I'm short with black hair and I'm a girl. You're tall with red hair and you're a fox human hybrid freak. FREAK! I'm stupid and you're smart. I'm young and you're old. I wear black, chains, and boots that make me look evil and you wear weird Chinese-kinda-style outfits that make you look all graceful and elegant and all. I act psychotic and you act dignified. I--"

"Shadow," Kurama said. She looked at him. "You're not doing a compare and contrast here."

"I know. I'm just doing a contrast."

"Fine. But that's not what you're supposed to be doing."

"Oh! Okay then!" She slammed her hands on the table. "Let's get started! Mr. Minamino, could you tell me how it feels to be superior to everybody else around you?"

"WHY DOES SHE SAY YOU'RE SUPERIOR BUT SHE WON'T ACKNOWLEDGE ME?" Youko cried in the back of Kurama's head.

"I think she was doing a bit of acknowledging on the floor with you before Hiei interrupted, Youko. Don't complain."

Out loud, Kurama said, "It's really difficult. They think I'm like that naturally, but it really came with hundreds of years of experience... I was born with most of this knowledge. The only knowledge coming from my human experiences are the skills with ningen things. Ningen technology and such. And emotions."

"Ah yes. The fox was a cold-hearted bastard for hundreds of years, but then with the simple saving of a small child's life, he learned to love..."

Kurama blinked. "It wasn't just 'the simple saving of a small child's life', it was my mother, saving me and thus saving him, and he could deny it all he wanted but it only took six years of a mother's love to fuck up his heart, as he says it."

"Hm," Shadow replied thoughtfully.

"Very profound, Shadow."

"Shut the fuck up." She thought for a second. "So, Kurama, what are your plans for the future?"

"I don't know," Kurama said. "The whole fox-soul thing kind of messes up the hope for a normal ningen future. Even if I become something normal to ningens, I'll still always have a fox whispering in the back of my head, and I'll still be able to grow beautiful flowers from seeds in two seconds, I'll have enhanced senses and more or less just be superior to everyone I'm around."

"Except me," Shadow corrected.

"Right," the boy said sarcastically. "But I might not live around you."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Things happen."

"Oh?"

"He means that Hiei might suddenly decide to embrace his feelings fully, mate with you, mark you, and drag you around with him wherever he goes and thus you could end up in Makai when you're older, carrying a fire demon child or perhaps ending up in Mukuro's fortress while Hiei becomes full-time general of her armies and whatever instead of being her little minion to be called when needed as he is now," Eclipse translated.

"Now, how the hell did you get all that out of two words?" Shadow asked angrily.

"She's insightful?" Kurama said, not fully sure himself how she'd pinpointed what the Youko inside him had meant.

"He means that he's had many long discussions with you and knows you love him with every fiber of your being and want to--mmph!" Shadow's own mocking translation was cut short by a hand over her mouth.

"Are you going to finish that?" Kurama asked, glaring. Shadow shook her head.

"She's insightful because you've had many longs discussions and know each other better than I'd thought," she blurted as soon as he took his hand away. He glared. "On to the next question!"

"What if I refuse to answer questions now? You're being rude."

"Then I'll snap my fingers and the Great Authoress Shadow's Powers will allow me to create shackles on the wall from which I will hang you by your ankles. Sound fun?"

"No."

"Okay. Will you answer questions?"

"Depending on what they are. Ask away."

"Do you have feelings past friendship for Eclipse?"

"Are you asking if I love her?" Kurama asked.

"Mayyyyybe."

"Do you love Hiei?" the boy replied calmly.

"Don't answer a question with a question!" Shadow snapped.

"Well do you?"

"That's none of your business!"

"She does," Eclipse said. "Of course she does, it's very obvious. She sleeps with him, for goodness' sake!"

"Only occasionally," Shadow huffed.

"Which means really quite often," the other girl muttered under her breath.

"Shut up, fox-lover!"

"Hiei lover."

"I'll tell my mommy on you!"

"Your mommy is dead, Shadow."

The girl fake-sniffled. "YOU JUST HAD TO SAY THAT, DIDN'T YOU!" She fake-cried a bit. Kurama just sat there, watching with interest.

"We all know you're not that sensitive about people whom you suspect faked their deaths," he said eventually. "Stop it."

"Ah, shut up, fox," Shadow said. "For all you know, I was mourning the death of my Great-Aunt Sue."

"You have a Great-Aunt Sue?" Eclipse asked.

"For all you know. Now, Kurama, let's move along. What are your thoughts on gay rights?"

"I don't care," he said. "It's not my concern to form opinions about it."

"What do you think of Japan's homeland security?"

Kurama didn't even get a chance to answer before she asked another question.

"Do you want to kill any high-ranking military officials?"

"N--"

"What did you want to be when you grew up?"

"What?"

"When you were a little child, what did you aspire to be as an adult."

"I was an adult when I was a child," Kurama said. Shadow blinked.

"But what about Youko?"

"You should have asked him that."

"I didn't think of it then!" Shadow said defensively.

"Too late, then."

"Oh! Can I come out for another interview?"

"NO! You know full well you'll end up just pinning her to the floor and Hiei will walk in at a very inappropriate moment. Go away."

"I can't, though."

Kurama ignored any more comments from his demon half.

"So, then..." Shadow sighed. "I can't ask you questions about your childhood because your real childhood was centuries ago and those questions should have been for Youko! So what shall I ask you... Hm..."

She got a look of intense concentration and shortly fell out of her chair, stiff as a board.

"OH, GOD, IT HURTS! My poor brain!" She lay on the floor thrashing for a moment before jumping up, remembering what had happened with the fox a short while ago when she'd been on the floor.

"You okay now?"

"So, Kurama, if you found Karasu lying on a totally empty sidewalk with severe head trauma after being assaulted by a whole mob of S-class demons, what would you do?"

"Why do you persist in asking about him?!" the boy snapped.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ANSWER ALL MY QUESTIONS WITH ANOTHER QUESTION? ANSWER IT PROPERLY! WHAT WOULD YOU DO?"

Kurama sighed. "Damn it..."

"What? Conflicting emotions?"

"I have no emotions for that bastard except for hate."

"Then you'd put him out of his misery?"

"I... er... Yes... Probably."

"Probably?!"

"My sentimental human half is telling me I would bring him here and have you care for him, but Youko insists I would wake him up and prod at his injuries until he died with his face contorted in screams of pain."

Shadow thought for a second, then shivered. "I think I almost like the first one better. But... If you hate him, why would there be two options?"

"Because my human half is nice to everyone," Kurama said. "I can't help it!"

"Which is stronger?"

"I think the human half is," he muttered unhappily.

Shadow laughed. "Yeah, because you're more of a softie than Hiei! Then again, your pansy softness did get you the Potion of Past Life in your fight with that Ura dude... I guess that's kinda good. That stuff came in handy a few times didn't it?"

"That's an understatement."

"Without it, you would have died in your fight with Karasu, and he would have stolen your body and got it preserved so he could take you home and stare at you whenever he wanted and you would have no say."

Kurama blanched. "You're sick..."

"It's true, though! I'll ask him!"

"How? He left. In tears."

"He's on the porch," Shadow replied. "If you paid attention to the world around you, you would know this."

"What?!"

"Did you think I was just gonna banish him from Tokyo altogether?"

"You didn't banish him anywhere..."

"Well I personally think Karasu just needs a bit of counseling and he'll be good as new... Well, maybe not quite, cuz when he was new, A.K.A. a child, his father molested him... So he wasn't really good then, either, but I bet with a bit of counseling, we could make Karasu more emotionally understanding and understanding of the ways of foxes." She paused. "Foxes like to live in holes in the ground."

Kurama sighed. "It'd be called a den, or a lair."

"We'll continue this discussion later," the girl said, glaring. "On with the interview..." She sat there thinking for a while. So long, in fact, that Eclipse had to hit her upside the head and shout at her.

"HEY! Are you gonna ask anymore questions?!"

Shadow blinked. "Huh? Oh, I must've fallen asleep..."

"But your eyes were open..."

"So? I'm magical. Next question: Why the hell did you throw yourself in front of Hiei's sword to save Yusuke's ass? Couldn't you have just used your little flowery thingies and like, tied him up or something? That would have kept you from harm and would have kept Yusuke from harm and made it all easier on poor Hiei in the long run."

"Yusuke gave part of his life to help save my mother. It was only right for me to save him... Throwing myself in front of the sword was the simplest and had the least margin for error..."

Shadow stared. "Meaning...?"

"Meaning I could have attacked him, but he was faster than me and probably could taken care of Yusuke, then gone after me... In the frame of mind he was in, he would have killed me, too. It was only logical."

"WHAT'S SO FRIGGIN' LOGICAL ABOUT FLINGING YOURSELF IN FRONT OF AN ATTACK MEANT TO KILL?"

"It turned out fine in the end, didn't it?"

"Yusuke beat up Hiei!"

"He was supposed to!"

"I don't care if he was supposed to, it wasn't very nice!"

"Shadow. Hiei wanted to take over Ningenkai."

"Why did you agree to help him if you disapproved so much?!"

"I never intended to help him, I just wanted the mirror to save my mother!"

"Okay then... I still think it was mean to help Yusuke beat him up..."

"Well that's because you're pathetic and you love him," Eclipse said.

"I do not!" Shadow retorted. "Why are we discussing this anyway? We're supposed to be interviewing Kurama!"

"We're discussing it because you started it," Eclipse muttered. Shadow pretended not to hear her.

"Isn't it difficult to keep your true heritage a secret from your family?"

"Yes."

"Your mother has no suspicions?"

"Not really."

"Not even when you vanish for weeks at a time?"

"Some lies are for the better, Shadow."

"What about your clothes? Surely your mother doesn't see you in your elegant battle outfits?"

"No."

"Where did you get those?"

"I bought some of it, made some of it..."

"Wow. Your mother doesn't ask questions when you're injured?"

"She doesn't notice, Shadow."

"Oh yeah. Because you're a trickster. A deceiving bastard. A sly, cunning fox..."

"Right."

"What about washing them? Do you wash your elegant battle outfits at home? On your own?"

"Yes."

Shadow nodded, looking thoughtful. "Amazing... A guy who can do his own laundry..."

Kurama raised an eyebrow.

"What?! Guys typically can't do laundry. It's like a washing machine is beyond their comprehension. But then again, you're a genius, so..." She shrugged. "Moving along..."

"Yes, please."

"How did it feel to be bombarded with explosives while some lecher stood by and watched like the sadist he is?"

Kurama shifted in his chair. "Must we discuss it?"

"Was it excruciatingly painful?"

The boy rolled his eyes. "No, Shadow, I was screaming in pain because I enjoyed it."

"Ew, really?"

"No! I'm not a masochist, okay?"

"I should hope not... Then you'd be like Sensui. Do you think Sensui was gay?"

Kurama stared. "Do you think I typically go around examining people to see if they're gay? I'm a fighter, okay? I don't care about peoples' sexual orientation."

"I think Itsuki was gay," Shadow said, nodding.

"He practically came right out and told us that one, Shadow. Brilliant deduction," the redhead said sarcastically.

"I think he was also coming on to you, Kurama. I mean, you were stuck in his creepy shadow critter, he had six extra hands... It wouldn't have been that difficult."

Kurama's eye twitched.

"Does that bother you?"

"Does what bother me?"

"All the demons with stronger attractions towards males than females. Does it bother you that they're constantly coming on to you?"

"Well, yeah."

"What about people who mistake you for a girl? Do they bother you?"

"Yes, somewhat."

"Do you think it's your eyes? Or your hair?"

"What?"

"I personally think it's both. You should cut your hair, wear sunglasses, maybe dye your hair or change your outfits or something... Wear black. I should be your new fashion designer."

"I think not, Shadow."

"I think I should. It'd save your the embarrassment of being mistaken for a girl."

Kurama didn't say anything.

"Or you could always just beat them up. Why don't you just beat them up?"

"Who?"

"The people who harass you!"

"The demons?"

"And the people who think you're a girl."

"If they start a fight with me, or I have to fight them, I'll keep it in mind that they've offended me. But I'm not going to haul off and punch them just because."

"Nice to hear. So if I start calling you a pansy flower-girl mommy's boy and start attacking you, will you beat the phooey outta me?"

"No, because you're my friend and you wouldn't be serious."

"Oh! So you show favoritism! You bastard!"

"What? You do too! You were just a minute ago when you were complaining about how I let Yusuke beat up Hiei."

"That's not favoritism!" Shadow protested. "I'm a very fair person!"

"That's the ultimate favoritism! You would rather Hiei was dictator over Ningenkai than that he got beat up and ended up where he is today!"

Shadow opened her mouth to protest, then shut it, looking thoughtful.

"Well if you put it that way... I guess things could have turned out totally different and maybe I never would have met him!" She jumped up, leaning across the table to grab the fox's shoulders. "WOULDN'T THAT BE TERRIBLE?!"

"No."

She slapped his head. "Shut up, fox! It would be terrible. I'd probably still be living my traumatic Makai life." She fake-sobbed. "Maybe I wouldn't even be a virgin anymore! I could have ended up stuck in Makai with nowhere to run and I would have been cornered and raped and... and... and... Where's Yusuke?! I want to hug him!" She looked around frantically.

"He's not here..."

"Then I'll hug you! Because you helped!" And she clambered over the table and hugged Kurama. "You're so wonderful! Thank you for everything you did to make everything how it was when I got here!"

The boy blinked, looking helplessly at Eclipse and shrugging. He timidly patted Shadow's back. "Um... Sure... No problem..."

"WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME? DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO TOUCH ME? NO I DIDN'T! BACK OFF!" She lunged over the table and curled up on her chair, hissing at him like an animal. However, having slammed into the chair with as much force as she did, it teetered and fell over backwards, dumping her onto the floor. Instead of hissing like a cat, she now yelped like a wounded dog. Kurama sighed and stood up.

"Shadow, I have better things I could be doing right now. I don't want to be asked another question about Karasu, I don't want to hear about your relationship with Hiei, and I'm supposed to be in school right now. May I leave?"

"NO YOU MOST CERTAINLY CAN NOT!"

With a sigh, Kurama sat back down as Shadow righted her chair. She sat in it, leaning forward slightly like she was going to ask a very important question. Kurama stared at her placidly as she just stayed like that for a good five minutes. Then she leaned back.

"I forget what I was gonna ask."

Kurama rolled his eyes and got up. "I'm gonna go do my homework." He started for the door and Shadow let out an anguished howl.

"NOOOO!"

He sped up. She flung herself at him and caught his sleeve, trying to drag him back to his chair. He looked at her with wide-eyed horror and tried to shake her off.

"Let go of me!"

"No!"

He strained to get to the doorknob. Shadow planted her feet to make herself harder to drag. Eventually, the cuff tore off his sleeve, he flew forward and she went toppling backwards with a couple inches of his shirtsleeve in her hands. It didn't matter. He grabbed the doorknob, yanked open the door, and ran for it before Shadow could get up. But she did get up, and tore out into the hall after him. She ground down the stair railing and leapt off the end, ending up right behind him.

Tearing out the front door and onto the porch, Kurama stopped dead about an inch from Karasu and 'eep'ed. Shadow then slammed into him from behind and sent them all tumbling off the porch into the yard. Eclipse, having been about a foot behind Shadow, managed to stay on her feet to record the entire ordeal.

Shadow untangled herself from the limbs of the males and leapt back. She took in the sight before her. Poor Kurama had Karasu's pale wrists grasped in his hands, holding them out to his sides. However, that was the only advantage the fox had. Karasu was straddling him, grinning.

"If I let go of your wrists, will you go away?" Kurama asked.

"No," Karasu purred. "Because I can just do this." He twisted his wrists around, freeing them, and grabbed Kurama's wrists. "I win."

"Oh, fuck. Shadow, if you don't get over here and get this PSYCHO off me I will KILL YOU!"

Shadow's eye twitched. "I'm horrified. What have I done, what have I done? Karasu's gonna rape Kurama right in my own front yard!" She screamed and ran away.

"WHAT THE FUCK, SHADOW!" Eclipse screamed. Luckily, along came Hiei, a black blur, and kicked Karasu in the ribs, breaking several and sending him rolling across the ground. Kurama jumped up the second the vamp freak was off of him.

"Thank you very much, Hiei."

"Right."

Karasu twitched. Then he got up, cast a sorrowful, pained look at Kurama, a death glare at Hiei (the fire demon returned it tenfold), and vanished into the forest.

"Well that's a wrap," Shadow said. Kurama threw a clod of dirt at her head.

"Bitch!" Then he went stalking down the street with his hands in his pockets. Hiei glared at her.

"Why did you do that to him?"

"I don't know, but guess who's gonna get interviewed next?"

"Not. Me."

"Yes. You, Hiei."

The fire demon vanished before Shadow could attack him and drag him upstairs.

"YOU BASTARD!" she screamed, shaking her fist. "YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!" She headed into the forest to find him, Eclipse on her heels.

Sorry about that thing with Karasu... Don't yell at me. I'm not in control here. ;)