Wolfish Desires

by CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88

Daine is happy and content with her life. Everything seems to be going her way. Suddenly, she begins getting odd feelings, and makes the mistake of passing them off as nothing. What happens when the consequences of keeping secrets is too much to bear?

9. Wolfish Desires

A/N: Hey everyone...this is an important chapter, so I hope you like it...there will be some fluffiness coming up pretty soon, so you've got that to look forward to at least...I know this fic has gotten beyond depressing, but what do you expect considering the circumstances? I can't wait to see all of your reactions when I actually do throw in the happy ending...hehehe...Oh, and I'm sorry for any spelling/grammar problems in this chapter. I've done my best to sort through it and fix them, but I still feel like I haven't gotten them all and seeing how long it is, it'd be nearly impossible to get everything. So,again, sorry!

Disclaimer: I'm sure the whole lot of you know the drill by now, so I'll be brief.. I don't own it, and I've never claimed to...end of story....



( a month has passed since the last chapter, and Daine is now visiting friends at the palace and checking up on the horses)

"How've you been fairing these past few weeks, Daine?" Onua asked the younger woman as she embraced her long time friend. She had not set eyes on Daine for just over two months, and it was hard to believe just how much the young woman had experienced in just that short amount of time.

"As well as can be expected...."Daine replied, pulling back from Onua's grasp. She forced a small smile for her friend, taking the time to lick her chapped lips. In truth, she had been anything but fine these past weeks. They had without a doubt been the worst days of her life, but she would move on. She had come to the conclusion that she had to. She was going to live through this horrible experience that many could never handle and keep their sanity.

The weather had been more than bearable since the storm on her anniversary with Numair, so Daine had hardly had a difficult time reaching the palace. The dirt roads that led from the tower's rural location along the coast that eventually flowed into the main road to Corus had been well washed out from the rain that had poured down not more than a week and a half before. Throughout the entire journey though, Daine's mind had not been on the weather, nor the state of the road. No, her thoughts had been more closely tuned to the memory of the last time she had journeyed down this very path and to the very same destination. She had been with Numair then, traveling with him to the palace to assist him in his lecture to the pages concerning the Immortals War. The ride had seemed to be so short, for the entire time they had been deep in conversation. Whenever she was with Numair, it had always been like nothing else mattered; there was nothing but him.

This last ride though, had been a silent one. Daine had not even bothered conversing with Cloud, who she of course rode. As far as that went, she had not uttered a single word to any of the other animals they had passed that day. Not the birds, or the squirrels or rabbits; they had gone unnoticed by the Wild Mage. Since the horrific night those days ago, Daine had blocked out every thread of her magic, not wishing to ever use it again; it was too painful. Every time she ever even thought about tapping into her magical vision, to let the scenes of copper fire consume her, Daine heard the sound of his voice as he instructed her in the proper way to use this magic. She could feel his calloused palms and rough fingers lightly caressing her face as he let his own black fire pour into her very being, constructing a wall between her true self and her magic. She could feel his long arms wrapping around her, enveloping her into a tight hug and pulling her into his lanky form as the fires of the Carthaki Palace burned around them and the rain poured down upon them. It was just too much. She would never use her magic again.

The sound of Onua's voice brought Daine back to the present. "You know, Daine, I just-...."Onua began, stopping mid sentence and looking her young friend directly in the eye and then continuing, "I just feel so bad about what happened....and I want you to know that if you ever need anything, well, I'll always be here for you..."

For the second time that day, Daine forced a small smile. This time though, it was slightly more sincere. "You don't know how many people have said similar words to me these past weeks...." she stated calmly, a look of deep plain written clearly in her blue gray eyes. She had not shed a single tear in the presence of another two-legger since that day spent cleaning out the tower with Alanna. When the sun set that day, Daine promised herself that she would play the part of a strong young woman who could survive the loss of her lover. To Daine though, Numair Salmalin had been much more than a lover. He had been her best friend, and he had been the man that had he gotten the chance to propose to her a second time would be her fiancee and eventually her husband.

Daine watched as Onua's pale brown eyes glistening with sympathy for the younger woman who had come to be such a dear friend of hers over the years. The horse mistress nodded to Daine's comment, knowing well that it was the honest truth. She knew that she was not the only one to be so close to Daine, to love her like a sister and consider themself willing to do anything to take away the fresh pain Daine felt now for her loss. Daine had saved the lives of many in her time, though she was not old. And yet, somehow the gods had seen it fit to bestow this horrible fate upon her. Onua did not understand how it was possible, and from what she had heard of her other friends, they saw things in a similar light. Onua dug the toe of her boot idly in the sandy dirt of the palace yards outside the Royal Stables, trying to think of a way to spur conversation with this you grieving woman and break the awkward silence that loomed over them. To Onua, her young friend seemed to be like a storm that brewed on a winter night. Quiet as it began, but at times growing so unbearably loud, that even those on the outskirts of the city could hear its wrath.

Finally, Onua found the silence too much to bear any longer. Though the gloominess in Daine demeanor did not fade in the slightest, Onua pressed towards her with a question, hoping to ease the pain swirling in the depths of her friend. "How long will you be staying at the palace?" Onua asked, her voice trembling slightly. It was indeed a strange day when the voice of the fiery horse mistress of the king's stables shook.

"I don't know for certain," Daine answered, voice tired and strained. It seemed to Onua as if these past few weeks had added aging to Daine that would under normal circumstance take years, decades even. Before Onua could further ponder the thought, Daine continued, "I'd like to examine the king's mounts so long as I'm here, and I had also planned to see-," Daine paused for a moment, her eyes glazing suddenly with unshed tears, " to see him..." She finished, voice uncertain. Daine could never get used to the feeling of not having Numair back at the tower with her, but to instead have to make a two hour ride to the palace any time she wished to pay her respects to his burial grounds.

Feeling the bitter winter wind beginning to pick up around them, Daine drew the deep blue shawl that had been a gift to her from Numair tighter around her shoulders, pushing back the cold air that threatened to bite against her skin. She could see her breath as she exhaled, for it was cold enough. She could see Onua's breath as well, as she stood watching the older woman shivering slightly to bite back the cold winter air. For the third time that morning, the sound of Onua's sharp voice split the air, bringing Daine back from her thoughts, "Will you use your magic with the horses, Daine?" Onua asked hopefully, knowing how much of a significant difference it made when Daine did use it. She felt her spirits drop when the Wild Mage solemnly shook her head, indicating that she refused the request.

"I know that Alanna told you about my decision, Onua," Daine said with the tiniest amount of coldness in her voice, a bitter edge. When Onua's eyes held hers, Daine could sense the questions racing the K'miri's mind. "I know you and everyone else want me to use my magic, but I just can't..."

Onua sighed audibly, her voice showing her disappointment with utmost clarity. "Daine, I know you have your mind set on this, so I won't even hope to make you waver, but I will admit that I don't understand it," Onua voiced, trying her best not to be even slightly harsh to the young woman, despite her obvious disapproval of her actions and her own frustration with the whole matter.

"I don't expect you to," Daine said, her eyes showing little emotion. Though the young woman appeared to be unscathed by the direction the conversation had swerved to, Onua knew that on the inside, Daine's mind must be reeling. She did not expect any less of her. Daine continued, after a small pause, "It just brings back too many memories of the time I spent with him, learning how to use my magic and perfecting my skill. I wouldn't be where I am today if he hadn't pushed me through every step."

"I know that Daine, and I'm sure much of Tortall does as well, but the fact remains that Numair Salmalin is dead," Onua said these words carefully, trying her very best to be gentle with Daine, despite her own frustration with the matter. She did not by any means want to hurt the young woman any further than she already had been, but she knew also that with what she meant to say, it would be impossible for Daine to be entirely unaffected. Onua felt a rough tug at her heart as she watched Daine's face begin to pale. She knew the young woman had not counted on the conversation turning to a subject of this nature. In truth, Onua had not either. "Refusing to use your magic isn't going to bring him back."

Tears of pain that had resurfaced from that horrific night burned Daine's eyes, begging to be freed, but she would not cry. She had promised herself that even if she could never be strong on the inside, then at least she would play the part on the outside. She had kept herself in solitude up until this day, so she had had an easy enough time keeping that vow to herself. But now, this conversation threatened to take that from her, but she would not budge. She would not cry. "I know that there isn't anything that will ever bring him back, Onua," Daine forced these words, all the while fighting back the unshed tears that threatened to fall. From the look of sincere sympathy in the K'miri's eyes, Daine could see that though she tried her very best to keep her emotions hidden from the world, her friend at least could detect them. "Its not that that keeps me from my magic.....Its me...just me...I don't want the memories that plague me when I even think about using my magic. I'll never use it again, never..." That was her final word. Nothing that Onua or anyone else said could possibly make her sway in her stubbornness, not even a direct order from King Jonathan himself.

Onua gazed intently at the young woman before her for several moments without relent. As she gazed upon her, she did so in pride for her friend. Though Onua was known for her courage as a warrior, in a situation such as the one Daine was in now, Onua knew that she would crumble. All of the battles she had fought and all of the men she had killed would mean nothing then. A physical wound to the body would be much easier to cope with that one of the kind that Daine had been dealt by the gods. She had been dealt a wound to her heart, though not the muscle that beat in her chest. Onua admired the younger woman that stood before her now, no matter how much she considered her decision to be a foolish one. She would not argue with her for another second, nor would she ever bring up the subject again. "I may not agree with you, but I'll leave you be," Onua said, eyes solemn as they sparkled with affection and sympathy for her friend. She loved Daine as if she were her own sister. Onua had been an only child, so the friends she had become so close to such as Daine had been the closest thing she had ever had to siblings. A small smile tugged ruefully at the edge of her mouth, arching her lips. "Come, its getting fair cold out here. Lets go inside." With that, Onua extended her arm to Daine, clapping the Wild Mage on the shoulder.

Daine nodded at Onua's acceptance of her, and was glad that it had come to be. For the fourth time that day, she forced a small smile for the sake of her friend and followed her into the palace so that she could greet the rest of the people she had come to love in this country she had fled to almost a decade ago.



(3 days later)

Flakes of snow sprinkled down from the heavens, adding to the thick blanket that already covered the palace grounds as Daine tromped her way from her room and to the cemetery. It had been just over a month since she had last been here, and that had been the day that she had watched Numair's casket being lowered into the ground. She remembered that on that day, as she had watched him descend into the ground, she had been dying inside, wanting so badly to cry out for him not to leave her. The truth that he was dead and was never coming back to her had not fully settled in Daine's mind on that day. She knew now, that even then as she had fought not to cry out her pleas for him to not leave her, it would do no good for he had long been gone.

The last time she had been here, though it had only been just over a month ago, it had been the end of fall, and by now winter had officially started. Then, there had been no thick blanket of snow covering the palace grounds, making her journey to Numair's final resting place all the more difficult. As Daine felt a snowflake falling past the barrier the hood of her cloak provided, landing on the tip of her nose and sticking like a freckle, she brushed it aside with fingers that shook from the cold, crisp air. In the midst of this action, her cloak slipped from around her shoulders as her grip on it was loosened. The cloak fell and was carried several feet by the wind, leaving Daine open to the cold. "Gods curse it!" Daine muttered voice edged with a coldness that was sharp as steel. The wild mage then turned around and followed the large footprints she had already treaded into the deep layers of snow and went back to the spot where the wayward cloak had blown. Eager to again have its warmth enveloping her, Daine quickly picked it up, only briefly brushing off the flakes of snow that had stuck to it.

As soon as the cloak was securely around her shoulders, Daine reached inside of it, to a large pocket she had sown into it for her own benefit. She sighed in relief when she found that the tiny bouquet of lilies she had stored inside the pocket haven were still safe from the sharp winter wind. Daine's numb fingers did not only brush over the lilies as she stuffed them into her secret pocket, but also a smooth polished rock. This rock was very special to Daine, and she was happy to have not lost it by her own misfortune when the wind blew her cloak away. It was, after all, not just an ordinary rock that a small boy would pick up on the side of the dirt path to throw at a chosen target. No, this was a rock she had gathered with Numair during one of their midnight strolls on the beach that lay down below the high, rocky cliffs on which the tower itself rested. The rock was as smooth as the surface of still ocean waters when there was no wind to provoke it. It had been tostled up against countless rocks in its time, that it had been ground and beat until it had taken on the shape of a heart.

Daine remembered that night clearly, when they had found it. It was a warm summer's night, not more than a year since the two lovers had taken up residence together at Numair's, no, their, tower. She and Numair had decided to take a midnight stroll along the beach. The two lovers were barefooted, having discarded their boots and stockings back at the end of the gravel covered path that led back to the tower. As they strolled, taking in the warmth of the wet sand as it was squished between their toes, they held tightly to the other's hand, deep in conversation, about what Daine could not remember. They had been too enthralled with one another to be paying close attention to where they went, and especially not what lay on the path before them. It had been then that Numair had suddenly swayed, plunging from Daine's vision. His hand was torn from hers, his fingers that had been interlaced with her own had been immediately disentangled by the weight of Numair's body being thrown to the wet ground.

"Gods curse it!" Numair had shouted to no one in particular, using also several other colorful words that would make any noble blush upon hearing such things. Looking down at him, he lay sprawled flat on his back, having tripped on some object that Daine could not see. She giggled lightly, but immediately placed a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound of her amusement as he shot a silencing glare in her direction. As if his current position had not been enough for him, the ocean chose that moment to send its waves rushing in, moving rapidly up the shore. Before Daine could even see what was happening, the water had rushed in around Numair, soaking him from head to foot and knocking him back down from his current position of resting on his elbows.

This time Daine could neither hide, nor silence her laughter. It came out in loud spurts, making her feel so weak in the knees that she thought she just might drop to the ground and join her lover. He looked like a wet fish that had accidentally been washed ashore. No, at such a site, Veralidaine Sarrasri could never stifle her laughter, despite the death glare her lover shot at her. Still weak from laughter, Daine grinned broadly as she reached down a hand to help her lover back to his feet so that he could at least gain back some of his dignity. She continued to giggle as she felt his calloused hand close around her outstretched one. She was in for a great surprise though, for instead of pushing himself up at her offer to help him, he instead tugged her down to join him. Daine soon found herself being pulled roughly down into her lover's lap. "Hey!" she shouted to Numair, trying to pull away, but to no avail as he held her wrists tightly before her face.

Finally, Daine managed to break loose one of her two arms, and in doing so reached down in rapid movement, cupping ocean water in her hand and spraying all over Numair. He was surprised by her sudden attack, giving Daine just the weakness she needed to pull her other hand free from his grasp. It was at that moment, when their eyes met for what seemed to be the very first time that everything seemed to stop; time ceased to be. As the clouds shifted their partial cover of the moon, its light shone more thoroughly down on the two lovers. Daine gazed intently at Numair, not missing any of the many intricate details that the moonlight had highlighted for her to see. Though she did not notice it, for she was stuck in her silent scrutiny of him, Numair's face slowly grew closer to her own, and his arms snaked around her waist, rising up higher to rest around her shoulders. Only when her the tip of her nose brushed Numair's did Daine sense his actions, and she immediately felt a sense of giddiness course through her veins.

Numair smiled at her, all mock frustration he had previously had with his lover just moments ago were gone with the summer breeze. His eyes began to slowly change from their normal sweet brown, to a deeper, almost black color. As if entranced by the moonlit features on Daine's face, Numair tilted his head, closing what remained of the gap between them. He tightened his once loose grip around her shoulders, crushing her body against his chest. He eased his lips over hers with such passion, that Daine could never remember a time when he had kissed her like this before. She could sense his every movement. She felt his arms wrapped possessively around her shoulders, his fingers buried in her mass of smoky brown curls and his lips, now trailing tiny kisses down the side of her face and then her neck.

The two lovers were oblivious to the ocean waves that continued to rush in around them. All they felt, all they heard and all that they knew was each other; there was no one else. Finally, when neither could contain themselves a moment longer, Numair's hold on Daine tightened immensely as he drew her in his arms, rising to his feet. She giggled at his antics, knowing that he expected her to allow him to carry her all the way back to the tower snuggled in his arms. She rarely allowed him to fawn over her like this, for she was very capably of walking, but tonight, she had no objections. Just as she was about to urge him to start making his way back to the tower, for the breeze was starting to pick up, Daine felt herself being lowered to the ground once again, her feet set safely down. Before she could question his strange change of actions, she found him crouched down and slipping to his knees, hands anxiously reaching into the sand. "Numair, of all the times to go and discover something-"Daine began to scold him, frustrated with him for breaking their light mood, but was interrupted when she saw him lift something she could not make out, so that it rest in the palm of his hand.

Daine too crouched down and then slipped onto her knees to join him, noting the feeling of wet, sticky sand beneath her. She bent in closer to see what had entranced her lanky lover so thoroughly, and saw that it was a small rock. She was about to object, not seeing any difference in this rock compared to any other rock one might come across on the sands of a beach, but when he held it up into the rays of moonlight, she could see what about the rock had caught his attention. It was shaped distinctively like a heart, no doubt reaching that shape after many years of existing in the crashing waves. At this new discovery, Daine turned to look at her lover to see an excited smile playing on his face. Idly, he traced his fingers over the smooth lines of jade that had threaded their way into the rock over the years. Both lovers knew an excellent find when they saw one.

Without warning, Numair hooked his spare arm through Daine's, lifting her to her feet as himself rose to his own. Once standing, Numair turned her to face him with a boyish grin planted firmly on his face as the moonlight danced playfully in his eyes. "For you, my love," he said, eyes alight with amusement at his find. Daine smiled impishly at him when he reached out and placed the peculiar rock into her hand, pushing her fingers down to close into a fist around it.

"I'll cherish it," Daine said simply, standing on the tips of her toes and holding tightly to his shoulders to keep her balance as she planted a swift kiss on his cheek. "But please, let me do so indoors, Numair..."

Numair smiled boyishly at his young lover, nodding at her request. The two then entwined their fingers once more, gripping tightly to each other's hand as they made their way back to the path that led up the cliffs and back to the tower, stopping only to collect their discarded boots once more.

Daine's mind drifted back to the present as a strong gust of wind blew forcefully against her face, its coldness biting her nose. When she realized that the happy, giddy thudding of her heart had been nothing more than a physical affect of a vivid memory, she felt hot tears sting her eyes. Daine forced them back, willing herself not to be weak when she would soon be near her lover. She kept one hand deep inside her secret pocket, grasping the heart shaped rock she had found with Numair for comfort.

Before long, Daine found herself following a familiar path through the cemetery she had reached only moments ago. Soon, she had found the one she sought, and she knelt down beside it, drawing her cloak tightly around her. Numair's grave was one of the last in the row of headstones, his being one of the closest to the cemetery gate on the far end of the burial grounds, parallel to the Royal Forest. Daine could clearly see the large mass of trees that were clumped together from where she knelt. Had she not blocked out her wild magic, perhaps she would have heard the calls of sympathy from her friends of the People. But Daine did have it blocked out of her mind, so she heard nothing but her own grievous thoughts and musings.

Hastily, Daine shoved her hand into the secret pocket of her cloak. After fishing around inside its warm confines for a few moments, she grasped the clump of flowers lightly between her balled fist. Swallowing hard, Daine set the ever so gently against the flat base of the marble head stone. She then pulled out the other object that she had brought along with her this day, but with this one she was a little more hesitant. She loved this rock, for it was one of the many things that Numair had left behind for her to remember him by. But she had decided before she left the tower earlier this week that she wanted Numair to have it. With that thought in mind, Daine pushed herself to reach down, rock in hand, and set it down next to the flowers she had brought.

Gazing intently now at the headstone itself, Daine could see that its glossy, speckled marble surface was coated in a thin layer of ice. She could hardly make out the words written across it. Feeling this did the man she loved no justice, Daine reached out in an attempt to fix it. Using her already numb, chilled fingers, Daine scraped away at the ice, breaking and cracking it till it began to fall off onto the snow covered ground. Once she had finished with that, she lightly brushed away the flaky remains of the ice and snow that had fallen onto it. Task done, Daine felt oddly satisfied, for now she could clearly read the engravings in the stone. She smiled affectionately at the name written in the marble. Reaching out a hand, Daine gingerly began to trace her fingers along each letter of his name. Her eyes shone with familiar longing and adoration as hot fire raced through her veins. Oh how she wished that Numair could be here, that instead of tracing patterns along the glossy marble, that her fingers were brushing the soft skin of his face.

"Numair..."she whispered as she continued to brush the engravings with her fingers. Her words were lifted up by the strong wind and carried away. As she gazed fixedly at the headstone, hot tears began to pour down her cheeks, melting away the paper thing layer of icy mist that had stuck there from her chilly expedition. Before Daine knew what was happening, before she even had time to brush away with her fingers a single one of the tears that were now rapidly falling from her blue gray eyes, she found herself suddenly sobbing. "How could I do this to you? To us?" Daine continued weeping, crying so hard that her words became choked and ragged in her throat. "I'm so sorry....I never meant for it to be this way!" Daine was talking to no one in particular, for she did not even know to whom her words were meant. Perhaps she meant them for Numair, despite the fact that she knew he could not and never would be able to hear them again. Still, she continued, wanting her words to be heard. "I miss you so much, Numair. I feel so empty without you. I don't know if you can hear me where you are or if you even care anymore....and why should you? I kept a terrible secret from you, and it cost you your life...." Daine knew now that she was indeed talking to her lost lover, hoping that the gods allowed him to hear her cries. She wanted him to know these things, for she felt she owed him that. Throughout her words, tears continued to flow steadily from her eyes.

"I know all of this is my own fault and I deserve it, but it just hurts so bad....the nights are so lonely without you and the days sad. All I can think about lately is the love that we had for each other and how I destroyed it all. I'm dying inside, and it feels like nobody knows it but me..." At this last statement Daine fought hard to reduce her sobbing and crying. She wondered desperately what he thought of her if he could even hear her at all. She wondered if he did indeed still care or if he hated her for what she did. Daine just felt so alone in all of this, with everything that happened. Deep down, Daine knew that she deserved this empty feeling and that horrible void in her heart that was constantly there. She had killed an innocent man, after all and it was common knowledge that the gods looked down on the needless slaughter of the innocent. Yes, she felt that she most definitely deserved every ounce of pain she received from the loss of her lover, but that did not stop her for a moment from wishing it all would end. It was human nature wish it all away, after all.

Feeling weary from walking all this way in the cold snow and from her crying, Daine let her knees fold carelessly lumpishly beneath her as she slumped down into the snow. Exhausted, Daine allowed her head to fall against the marble headstone, unconsciously flinching against the cold, frosty surface. For just a moment, Daine allowed herself to close her eyes and her mind drifted to happier times and happier places. She could see herself tromping through the snow that had fallen on the grounds at the tower as she went to tend to the horses in the small, two horse stable. She could see herself dropping everything at the sound of an approaching horse coming down the tower path as she ran with all of her might to greet Numair on one of his monthly returns from a week long stay at the palace. In truth, any time was happier than this time that she lived in now. Even her time in Galla running from her own village's men had been happier than this. At least then she had not known what true love was and what it felt like, not to mention the pain of losing it. So much had she learned since then, not all of it to her benefit. Heartache was something she would wish for no one to learn, not even her greatest enemy.

Without warning, as Daine drifted off into her thoughts resting against Numair's headstone, a loud howl split the air. Daine's head snapped up immediately, all of her senses suddenly alert and ready. She quickly scanned her surroundings with her eyes, feeling she knew what the howl was that of a wolf. Before long, just as the Royal Forest came into Daine's line of vision, her suspicions were made correct. Standing just steps out of the large clump of trees that was their haven was a small pack of wolves. There were five of them, Daine suspected that there were more wolves that were either waiting deep in the woods for their brothers and sisters to return or that they had been shot down by the Royal hunting party. At the head of the pack stood the largest wolf out of the lot of them. Daine could see right away that it was a male, and concluded that he must be the head wolf. He was jet black from head to tail with beady rust colored eyes. He stood tall and proud with his chest puffed out and his nose held high. Daine knew from his stance that he had been the one who had howled.

Daine could feel the eyes of each of the wolves upon her as they stared in her direction. Could the be here to see her? Daine knew immediately that this could not be so, for she had never seen these particular wolves before and she had her wild magic blocked out from her mind. She did not think that the wolves or any animals for that matter could sense her presence. Daine felt slightly bitter as she stared across the way at this pack, for the very reason she was sitting here today weeping for her dead lover was because of this particular species of animal. She had after all been in a wolf form when she murdered Numair. She shivered at the mere thought of that horrible deed.

Wiping away all thoughts of that night and the form she had been in when it had happened, Daine took the time to really study the wolves that stood before her. They must be a wise pack, for few wolves were capable of surviving this close to the palace, for the Royal hunting party was constantly on the look out for them. Wolves were known for eating sheep, and this was an unacceptable fate for the King's flock. Daine looked on at them in admiration of their survival skills. They were truly magnificent creatures, not to mention beautiful. These were some of the many reasons the wolf was her favorite form to take when she shifted.

Feeling unable to resist as she watched the wolf pack with longing, Daine let her wild magic flow back into her, opening her mind to the animals once more. It all came back to her in a flash of copper fire tinged with a stripe of royal purple flame. Immediately upon the return of her magic, Daine could hear a burst of anxious voices in her mind. She knew that they were the voices of the local People, perhaps every animal within a few miles of where she stood now. Amongst the many species of animal voices she could hear frantically trying to reach her through her magic, she blocked out every single one of those voices except for the group of voices she recognized as wolfish.

As soon as Daine had opened her mind to the wolves, they grew braver and began approaching Daine, straying farther with each step from their safe home in the Royal forest. Part of Daine longed to urge the wolves back into the woods, even by using her will on them if she had to, but there was the other half of her that longed for their contact. No matter how hard Daine had tried in these past months since Numair's death, she could never sever the bond she had with the People. She could never quell forever her longing to be in their presence; to talk to them and help them. Gods how she wanted to though. If it had not been for her wild magic and her unusual bond with the People, Numair would be alive today. Daine had accepted the fact that without her magic it was likely she would never had become so close to Numair, but in her eyes it was an even trade. If given the choice, she would give up her magic in a heart beat to give him the chance at life again, even if it was a life she could not be involved in.

Daine drifted back into reality when she suddenly sensed the presence of the wolves before her. They now stood mere steps away. Daine's eyes grew wide now as she looked on at them. They were such beautiful, magnificent creatures! It was in this moment that she began to question how she could ever block out her wild magic forever when she knew that creatures of splendor such as this existed so close to home.

-Pack-sister, my siblings and I have sensed your distress,- the nearest wolf's voice filled her mind with the rhythmic sound of his rough voice. It was the raven colored wolf that Daine had earlier identified as the leader of the pack. Still, he stood proudly before her, his sense of leadership and authority ringing clear. -we wish to help you, for you are People.-

Daine's mind reeled with a fury of mixed emotions as the wolf made his offer to her. She did not know if she wanted their help, or if she even needed it. The chill breeze continued to blow around her, lifting up stray strands of Daine's smoky brown curls and pulling them along with the swift currents of wind. Daine continued to gaze at the leader, wishing that it would leave her and take his wolf brothers and sisters back into the forest where they belonged, but also wishing at the same time that they would stay with her and keep her company. These contrasting ideas made Daine feel so confused. Finally, Daine decided that she had been depriving herself of animal conversation for far too long. She could see now that she longed to speak to these magnificent creatures, just as they longed to speak to her.

-Thank you Pack-Brother. It is kind of you to notice my distress and kinder yet for you to offer your assistance. What am I to call you?- Daine queried, feeling her heart race at the chance of having contact with the People again. Perhaps she had been both wrong and rash in choosing to tear herself away from the friends that she knew would always be there for her, rain or shine.

- I am called Blackash. I am head wolf of the King's pack. What am I to call you, girl who is pack?-

A small smile tugged playfully at Daine's lips as she heard the name the wolf had chosen for her. For the time being, all thoughts of why she was here in the cemetery were absent from Daine's mind. She forgot about the mage Numair and how she had loved him until he died, and of her grief she had spent the past three and a half months feeling. Amused by Blackash's question, Daine answered him.

-You can call me Daine...just Daine...- the wild mage said quickly, ears ringing with a familiar sting. Daine had felt this same stinging pain back when she first learned how to use her wild magic for mind speech. Now, the would was freshly opened in her mind, for she had failed to practice the use of her magic for months at a time. Pushing back the stinging pain that was ever so slightly distorting her vision, Daine decided to spark conversation and ask her new potential friend a question.

-May I ask you a question, Blackash?- Daine asked politely through mind speech, wincing briefly at the sharp pain. When the wolf bent his head, nodding in response, Daine asked, -Why is you pack called the King's pack?-

-We are called the King's pack, for our ancestors have lived in the King's forest for many kings to pass. We have evaded the King's hunters for many years and are the only pack that can say that.- Blackash responded, grinning as only a wolf can. Daine could tell that this was a subject he was very prideful of. As he gave his answer, the other five wolves surrounding him gave loud yips and barks to show their approval and their pride.

As Daine continued to ponder and mull over Blackash's answer, the wolf began to step forward towards her, leaving his pack behind. Daine jumped slightly, for when the wolf reached her side, he pressed his cold, wet nose against her bare hand which was clutching tightly to the fold of her cloak. Gasping at the coolness of the contact made by the wolf, Daine let out a sharp breath, but then quickly settled down when she realized what it was from.

-It is my turn to ask something of you, Daine,- Blackash offered, nudging his head affectionately against her leg. Daine felt her heart melting, the icy layer she had built up over the past three months chipping away. She supposed that what she had needed all this time was to be with the People. Cutting them away had only deepened her wound. -What has caused you such distress? What has hurt you?-

Daine was surprised at the wolf's concern, but thankful for it all the same. She was glad that she had friends in the People, for she knew now that she needed them now more than ever. At the wolf's question though, the memory of why she was here and who she was mourning for rushed back to her in a wisp of pain. She felt her body tense up at the return of Numair to her mind. She knew that she ought to explain things to her new friend, for he had been kind to her thus far and it would do her no harm to confide in him. Letting the fold of her cloak drop, Daine lifted her hand, numb with cold, to point to the large marble headstone that marked Numair's final resting place and the barrier that separated her from him.

-That large rock,- Daine pointed to Numair's headstone with tears glazing her eyes, -marks where my mate was buried. He was killed a short time ago, and I grieve because I miss him terribly...- the wild mage said in response to Blackash's question, her mind voice choked and raspy. As she looked down at her newly found friend, Daine could see the wolf's eyes darken in concern for her. She had seen many of her friends' eyes change in that same way when they looked at her since the death of Numair, but somehow it gave her more comfort now than it ever had. Something about the way it came from an animal helped her more than she could ever have known it would. Daine remembered that the last time she had lost someone dear to her, it had been only an animal that could soothe her then too.

-You are lonely now?- the wolf inquired, mind voice soft. Daine had to admit that she liked this wolf, for he reminded her of Brokefang. Brokefang too had been there after she had gone through a great loss in her life and she did not think she could have gotten through things had it not been for him.

Feeling herself begin to tear up and not wanting to shed another tear that day, especially not in front of her new animal friends, Daine pushed it back. She then nodded in response to Blackash. It was the truth. Blackash's words described Daine's life since Numair died perfectly. She had been so lonely and so empty since that day. She had felt constant blame for all that had happened and why shouldn't she? She had been the cause of all of this, and no one could tell her any different. She had viciously murdered him. That was why he was gone, and that was why she had lived such a lonely life since then.

-You belong with the People, Daine-Blackash said finally, taking Daine a little by surprise. The stinging pain she felt from mind speech had died down by now, so it was not nearly so painful to communicate with her wolf friend. It had been just this way eight years ago when she had first learned about her wild magic.

-What do you mean, Blackash?- Daine questioned the wolf, though she thought she had a pretty good idea what he meant. What if he was right? What if the part of Daine that was of the People was too out of place among two leggers? What if she was just too different to ever truly fit in?

-You are more People than you are two legger, Daine. Stop pretending to be something you are not,- Blackash stated matter of factly. What he said made sense and it had a sort of wolfish wisdom to it that no two legger could ever truly identify with. That was just it. Two leggers and the People were so different, so completely contrasting down to the tiniest of thoughts. The People had their own form of wisdom that was all its own, and she had found that most of the time when she tried to relay this to two leggers, they never understood it. This was why she was so very different from every human she had ever come into contact with. She was both two legger and People. She had two sides to her, each contrasting the other. The night she had killed Numair, the side of her that was People had broken through and gotten out of her control. Blackash was right. Maybe she did not belong with two leggers. Maybe she never truly did belong with them, even when Numair was alive and she had been so happy. It had been nothing more than a stroke of luck, an hour glass that would eventually run out of sand and time.

-Another wolf once told me that,- Daine admitted, voice weak with tears. She hated to think that Blackash was right. She knew that he had to be, but it was a hard truth to accept just as it had been hard for her to accept that her lover was gone. It was still hard. Again, the wolf's words played through her mind. Perhaps she was simply pretending to be a two legger. Looking at how much trouble and chaos she had caused during her time in Tortall, that theory was not incredibly hard to believe. But it was not easy to believe either. She did not by any means want to believe it. Daine had foud life here in Tortall. More importantly, she had found love here as well. Despite the odds and despite how her heart begged her not to, Daine made a very important decision in this moment.

-I'll do it,- Daine voiced simply through mind speech. Blackash's mouth twisted into a wolfish grin. Daine knew that despite her vague statement, the wolf knew exactly what she had meant. He was wagging his tail swiftly from left to right, letting her know that he approved of her decision.

Hands shaking with concealed excitement and anxiety, Daine grasped the hem of her cloak and hastily slipped it off of her body. She stood now clad only in a thick wool shirt rather than a summer cotton and winter working breeches. They were made of black dyed material to symbolize her state of mourning. It was Tortallan custom to dress only in black for thirty days after the death of a loved one. Taking a step away from Blackash, Daine lifted her cloak with numb fingers and folded it as neatly as she could given the circumstances. She set it down lightly at the foot of Numair's headstone, hoping that her friend's would find it and know what had happened to her. If she had had a quill, some ink and a piece of parchment, Daine would have left a note for them, but she had not the time to go traipsing back to her palace chambers to retrieve them.

Taking one last look at Numair's grave, Daine blocked the wolf and her surroundings from her mind, letting herself drift into meditation as she had done so many times before. She skimmed through her mind for the image of a wolf. Once found, she held tightly to it, allowing herself to see only that. She pictured herself as that wolf, her mind in its body. She pictured that instead of standing erect on two legs, that she be hunched down on all fours. She then imagined that instead of pale, cool skin covering her body, a thick blanket of matted fur was there in its place. Next she pictured paws where her feet and hands were, a snout for her mouth tipped with a cold and wet black nose. Before long, she could not only picture these wolfish features as her own, but could feel them. This was a familiar feeling for Daine, for she had taken on wolf form often as it was her favorite of all the People.

Opening her eyes, Daine found that she could see only in various shades of blacks, whites and grays. Also, she found herself at eye level with Blackash, instead of towering above him as a two legger should. Veralidaine Sarrasri was no longer a two legger, nor would she ever be again. She was a wolf, as she was sure the gods had always meant for her to be.



(2 months later; Daine has lived as a wolf the entire time..)

-Daine, are you certain none of the pack shall come to harm?- Blackash asked, mind voice solemn. He had not spent the entirety of his life since he was a pup leading and looking after this pack to risk them all in one fatal swipe. He had lived many years in the Royal Forest and had encountered many two leggers in his time. Blackash knew how lethal any encounter with a two legger could end up being, and so during his time as head of the pack, the raven colored wolf had always been certain to take all precautions to keep his pack from crossing the path of two leggers. It was because of his wisdom in leadership, survival and his weariness of the two leggers that the King's Pack had been the only pack of wolves to live so long in the Royal Forest. Their encounters with the two leggers had come and gone, and yet their numbers had always thrived despite the odds. Blackash was very prideful of his pack.

-Yes,- Daine replied hastily, not taking time to truly consider her answer. She knew well from her two months of life with the raven black wolf that if he had the slightest concern of the safety of his pack, then he would not go through with his plans in question. Blackash was right to question this plan, Daine knew, for two leggers were a never ending threat to the wolves. It was highly possible, she knew also, that they could encounter two leggers of the worst kind today if they went through with their plans. But Daine's knowledge did not end there. No, in addition Daine knew that were they to not follow through with her plan, the pack might very well starve. Risking the chance of encountering hunters was their only option if they wanted a chance at making it out through the rest of the winter. -the two leggers will be out on the hunt until the late afternoon, possibly even dusk if we are lucky.-

Blackash considered her words, wondering silently in his mind if he should believe the one time two legger. Part of him trusted her words entirely, for she knew the nature of the two leggers better than any of the others in the pack; she had once been one. Another part of him though would always be cautious of Daine, for she smelled of two leggers. Part of the young woman was a two legger, after all. Nothing could ever make her all People, no matter how hard she tried to force the change onto herself. Would she ever betray the pack to her kind? But wasn't the pack her kind? These were not the ponderings of a wolf, but actually that of a two legger. It both frightened and confused Blackash that such thoughts would cross his once simple mind. His way of thinking had been forever changed since his first encounter with Daine. He doubted that his simple wolfish way of thinking would ever fully be restored to him.

-I will trust your judgment for you know of their ways better than I,- Blackash assured Daine, his eyes resembling the orbs of blazing white fire that were the stars on a cloudless night sky.

Sensing doubt in her new friend's tone, Daine sought a way to assure him that things would work out. She knew that it had been a hard winter for the pack, but they would survive. It was trials such as this that had built such a strong pack that they could have thrived in the Royal Forest for as long as they had managed to. -This is the only way Blackash,- Daine said quietly, knowing that her words would possibly spur further doubt in the wolf's mind. She would risk that, for she wanted her words voiced. -If we don't then the pack will starve; the pups will starve.-

-Be that as it may, entering the camp of the two leggers who hunt us goes against all of my better judgment. If we fail, we die.- Blackash replied, voice grim. It was difficult for him to accept that the actions the pack made today decided their future. It was a horrible to think that a pack that had managed to thrive for over a century in a forest that no other pack had could be wiped out in one fatal swipe.

-If we do not try, we die,-Daine disagreed, using a common saying she had heard her Ma use often enough. It was a truthful statement. If the wolves did not try to raid the two legger camp for food today, despite the danger, the pups would starve. The hunters would not be back in the forest for at least another month, possibly longer, so they would not have another chance for the pups at least. For the sake of the pack's offspring, they had to go through with the plan no matter how dangerous it was.



(Sunrise, two hours since Blackash and Daine's discussion)

It was early morning as the wolves stumbled into the two legger camp. The sun was just beginning to stretch over the horizon, offering its light and warmth to the forest. The wolves had been up and about long since its arrival, for it was their way. As was their usual daily schedule, the pack had spent a good part of the early morning out scouting for their next meal. In winter, it food was always scares and hard to come by. What any one of them would not give for the sight of a nice, fat buck. The pack was so hungry that it would be an easy kill.

Of all the wolves, it had been the tawny colored one called Daine who had led the pack to the two legger camp. Like her pack brothers and sisters, she had been worried that the pups would starve to death if the adult wolves were unable to supply them with food from the hunt. As it was, there was hardly enough to go around and with the pups to care for, it only added to the troubles the pack was facing. This had been an unusually harsh winter, so bad in fact that the pack had had to move from the open woods to a small cave to sleep in.

As Daine led her family of two months into the camp, she could think only of how they would finally have enough food to fill their bellies and feed the new additions to the family. The pups had been weaned of their mother's milk for a mere two weeks now, and it had added six new mouths to hunt for food for. Daine would do anything in her power to not let any of her new family go hungry. She could not stand for anyone else that was important to her to die. Her life had been filled with too much pain and regret, and she wanted all of that to stop. Everyday, even as she began to stir as the sun rose, she would see the face of her one time lover and she would remember everything that had happened. She had hoped that deciding to live the rest of her life as a wolf would erase all accounts of what she had done to Numair and perhaps even the memory of his existence all together, but it had done no such thing. It seemed that the gods had fated her to never forget the horrible thing that she had done. It would haunt her for the rest of her days.

-Daine, where do the two leggers keep their food?- Blackash asked as he trotted up to Daine. He had thoroughly searched through the empty camp, looking for traces of game, but had found nothing.

-There should be something inside those cloth sacks,- Daine replied, using her snout to point towards the men's packs. She knew well who this camp belonged to, for she had strayed off in the night to watch them. It was the Royal Hunting Party, a group of about nine or ten men. From what Daine had seen, the men would not return to their camp for quite some time, for they would be out hunting the forest clean of wolves. The King's Pack was the only one to live in this particular forest, so Daine was confident that none of her kind would be slain this day.

At Daine's instruction, the pack scattered about the camp and went in search of the cloth bags that the girl-who-is-pack had spoken of. It was no hard task to unbuckle the two legger's packs, for their sharp fangs cut through the canvas straps as if they were slicing butter. Soon the wolves had each rummaged their way into one of the packs left behind by the two leggers. They found the contents of each sack to be extremely rewarding for their efforts. Inside each there was food that had been fixed by the two leggers, just as Daine had said their would be. Soon, each wolf found themselves hungrily feasting on their finds, careful to set aside left over food for the pups who had stayed back at the cave with one of the pack sisters.

Daine's heart beat with excitement at the success the wolves had found in raiding the two legger camp. She had expected to encounter at least one of this camp's dwellers, but luck had been on the pack's side. Entering the camp and locating the food had been easier even than killing an old, dying buck for their supper. The wolves now found themselves feasting on the food the two leggers had packed for their outing. Inside the packs they found what Daine recognized as salt pork, cold garlic bread, dried salmon jerky and a leather flask of wine. Knowing from her lessons with Numair how the proportion of most animals differed from that of a two legger, Daine warned the wolves immediately not to drink from the contents of the leather flask. A wolf could not hold nearly so much of a fermented substance as a two legger could.

Just as Daine was about to sink her teeth into another bite of the salt pork, a scent entered her nostrils as clear and horrifying as ever. It was the scent of horse hide, and from its ever gaining clarity, Daine knew the beasts were approaching. Soon, Daine could also smell the scent she knew belonged to two leggers. How could it be that they were returning to their camp so early? The sun had barely risen into the sky, and Daine had expected them to be out until it was time for that giant orb of light to sink back over the horizon.

Heart beating rapidly in sudden panic, Daine quickly tore herself away from the sack of food left by the two leggers, ears flicking this way and that. mind flowing with alertness for the oncoming attack. Knowing that their time for escape was short, Daine wasted not a single moment more before she lifted her tawny snout high into the hair, emitting a sharp, wolfish yelp to alert her pack brothers and sisters. That yelp slowly formed into a howl, serving as the starting note for the pack song. Soon, a number of her pack brothers and sisters began howling out notes of their own, adding to the song until it was a true melody.

The pack barely had time to prepare themselves before the two leggers were upon them. The humans raced into their raided camp, eyes alight with a fiery anger. Daine knew well from her time spent as a two legger just how much wolves were hated amongst their kind. The truth was this: two leggers feared the wolves, and that fear spawned a burning hate for the creatures deep within their souls. That mix of hate and fear would give the two leggers the cause and will to stop at nothing until every wolf in existence had breathed its last.

Amidst the total chaos that erupted upon the arrival of the hunters, Daine let her eyes hurriedly scan the area to take a toll of just how many her pack would be up against. She had no doubt in her mind that fleeing the two leggers straight off would be foolish and that they had no other choice but to fight. If the two leggers managed to get to their weapons, then her pack brothers and sisters would stand no chance against their forces. Wolves dove at the returning hunters left and right, cries of pain and anger filling the air both wolfish and human. Daine herself chose to stay out of the fray, not wishing to slay men she once ate and drank with at the palace. She had seen these noblemen before, and though she knew very few of them by name, she had no quarrel with them. This was the side of her, the same side that still mourned Numair that could never truly be wolf.

As the fight began moving her way, Daine trampled the opposite direction. There was a sort of fear coursing through her veins. Her sense of loyalty was torn in two directions and the last thing she wanted to do was choose a side. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her pack brothers and sister that she had come to love as if they were her true family were falling with every move the panicked two leggers made. They had managed to draw their swords and load their cross bows and they used these weapons of destruction against the wolves. Being a wolf herself, Daine knew that there was nothing she could do.

-RUN!- Daine called out through mind speech as loudly and strongly as she possibly could. She felt a sting of pain as her nose broke out into a bleeding mess from her sudden burst of magic. She had to get her friends out of this trap she had led them into, or she would die trying. She could not let them be slain by the creatures she once walked amongst.

All around her, the cries of her wounded and dying friends rang out, filling her ears with their pain. Daine's mind ached with torment at the horrible sounds of war. Hunt. Blood. Kill. The words began ringing in her mind as the smell of freshly spilled blood entered her nostrils with a stinging intensity. It attracted every aspect of her and called her to join the fray, to slaughter the two leggers and forget her past and live only for the day. These were wolfish thoughts, and for a single moment in time, Daine could not fight them off. Viciously, she snarled and drove her sharp fangs into her own leg, hoping to return her rational thoughts. She must forget the blood and the wolfish instinct behind it. All there was left to do was run, just as she had all those years ago in Snowsdale.

Her mind racing with panic, Daine hastily pieced together a plan to distract the two leggers. She knew that she had to lead them away from the camp and thus away from her pack friends, but how? Thinking faster than she could even blink, Daine began running around the camp madly, howling and yipping at every two legger she passed. Using all four of her legs, Daine kicked and swatted at the already scattered belongings, mostly selecting the ones she knew from experience would make the most noise and racket. It did not take long for Daine to realize that her plan had worked royally. The two leggers that had only moments before been attempting to slaughter the other wolves had now turned their attention to her. Taking advantage of this moment, Daine let out one last menacing howl, possibly singing the pack song for the last time. If saving her new family cost her own life, then she was ready and willing to give it. If not for them, then she had nothing else to live for as wolf or as human.

Daine bolted suddenly towards the woods, heading down the opposite direction from the way the two leggers had come in from the hunt. She doubted whether they had even dared venture in this particular direction during their hunting hours, for the forest trees were far too thick. Even on the brightest of days, only a few thin rays of dulled sunlight managed to leak in through the canopy of greenery. She knew this area well, whereas they did not. If she was to survive this day and see tomorrow, this would be the best place to run through.

And so the wild chase began. All twelve of the men who had embarked on this hunting trip had followed after Daine as soon as she had started her diversion. Even as she had done it, she had not expected such results, though she was thankful all the same. She ran howling madly into the surrounding woods, her wolfish instinct taking almost full control of her heart and mind. The make up of these woods had been permanently burned into the back of Daine's mind and she could not be more thankful for such a thing in times like this. It would help her to both out run and out smart the two leggers that were in hot pursuit of her.

As the chill wind brushed across Daine's hide making the longer strands of her fur dance a wild winter dance, Daine ran on. Adrenaline coursed madly through her veins, giving her the strength and the will to run on. She knew that at some point during this wild chase, she would tire and that would be what the two leggers were counting on. They had not chased this crazed tawny wolf into the deep woods for nothing. They wanted the soft and patterned fur of her hide to take home to their wives.

Blindly, Daine could feel tiny spurts of blood drizzling from the pads of her feet as the tips of sharp and jagged rocks cut them. Though she had been in wolf form for nearly two months now and had had more than enough time to break them in, these winter months had left her unprepared for such a long and wild chase against the hard terrain she had chosen to drag the two leggers through. She had decided upon this path in hopes that the unsuspecting and unprepared two leggers would either not be able to keep up with her or would tire easily and give up on their chase. So far, she had been wrong. Daine had under estimated their stamina, and was finding that if she was not careful, her miscalculation would cost her dearly.

"We've almost got her, men!" Daine heard the joyous cry of the two legger that seemed to be leading the others. In any case, he was at the front of the chase having been the one most capable of keeping up with the wolf. Daine felt a slight shiver of fear make its way down her spine. What if they caught her? They would surely kill her, of that she had no doubt. Was she ready to face death? More importantly, was she ready to face Numair? This last question had been the sole reason that Daine had not rashly ended her life at the sudden loss of her lover at her own hands. It would have been the easiest thing in the world to do. At the time she had felt that she had nothing left to live for, so it would have not been difficult in the least to cut her own throat or thrust a dagger into her heart. But it was that single question alone that stopped her from doing something so rash. Daine was not entirely sure that she was ready to meet her lover again. She had no idea if he still loved her or if he hated her for what she had done to him, for what she had taken from him. And if this was the case and he did in fact hate her, she would not blame him.

Daine found herself so deeply entwined with her own complicated thoughts that she did not feel her running begin to slow or the frantic shouts of victory coming from the two leggers that had followed her all this way. Many of them had begun to fear that they would never be able to catch this wolf, for she seemed to know her terrain well. By the time Daine snapped back into reality, it was too late. She almost did not even get to hear the shout of the two legger nearest to her as he yelled to the others that had followed.

"Move back, lads! This girl is mine!" yelled that blood thirsty human. Daine continued to run from her pursuers, but now that she was back to reality she again began to pick up her pace. She had realized what a horrible predicament she had gotten herself in, but she also knew that it was too late for such realizations do be of any help to her now. They were too close for her to escape for now she was well within reach of their crossbows.

Daine felt her eyes snap closed in a fear of her sudden realization as she heard the sound of an arrow being fitted into the holds of a bow and the string being drawn. That arrow was fired with deadly accuracy. With her enhanced wolfish hearing, Daine could hear all of this and more just as well as if she were all of the people involved at one time. As soon as the arrow was maliciously fired, time slowed down for Daine the wolf. So many things flashed before her eyes. It was hard for her to believe that there was even time for that. It did not seem right that it should take so long for that deadly arrow to embed itself in its target. Daine supposed it was the cruel punishment of the gods for the bad things she had done in her life.

She was a little girl again within wild and unruly smoky brown curls that tumbled down her shoulders. She wore a forest green wool dress with a tiny white cotton apron tied around her waste. She was knelt beside her mother in the straw covered floor of the barn, watching with wide blue gray eyes as their shaggy mountain pony gave birth. She watched as her mother gently coaxed the mare on, lightly stroking the fur around the pony's ears. Her Ma treated that pony just as she would have treated a fellow two legger woman that was in labor. The young Daine watched as the pony gave birth to a shaggy little gray foal. "Its a filly, Daine," she could clearly hear her Ma say. "She's yours."

Daine's mind snapped back to reality as she felt the cold steel of the arrowhead piercing her skin. It hit the bone of her rib cage with a sickening crack and thud. Daine the wolf yelped upon impact, letting a short howl of defeat and pain to escape her throat. In that moment, Daine was more than certain that every single one of her pack brothers and sisters heard her and knew of her distress. She wanted desperately for them to know and understand her fate for she would not be there to tell them. She could hear even now the shouts and whoops of the two leggers. They were proud of their victory, for it had been their only kill since the start of their hunting trip.

The loss of blood was becoming too much. Daine could no longer force herself to push forward. She felt security with the idea that she had managed to lead the two legger far enough form her pack brothers and sisters already, and they would be safe she knew. She could die in peace with such a thought. Daine had no time to think anything else, for at that moment, her feet gave way, throwing her body roughly to the forest floor. It was not soft ground like the flooring around her pack's cave. Instead it was hard and jagged ground. Like the deadly arrow that had found its way to her only minutes before, the jagged little rocks that she landed upon pierced her skin as well. As she rolled down the slanted edge of the path, many others cut and sliced into her, causing her to yelp in pain. The arrow itself that had pierced her had been torn from her body by the fall. Though the arrowhead itself remained deeply embedded within her, the shaft had long since been snapped off.

Soon, Daine found herself lying still at the bottom of the small ravine that lay at the base of the rocky path she had previously been leading the two leggers down. She lay still in a patch of soft, cool moss. The dew that was upon it made contact with Daine's fresh open wounds and it stung horribly. She found herself closing her eyes tightly shut as all of the pain from her recent injuries came rushing to her at once, leaving her not a moment of peace or rest from the chase. Her breathing became suddenly rough and almost impossible to endure. Panting, Daine felt the hold she had thought was permanent on her wolfish form begin to waver. Her eyes closed both in pain and in concentration, Daine could see the tiny flame of copper fire that was left of her wild magic begin flickering and gradually growing smaller. When the copper flame finally went out Daine found herself immediately losing hold of her form. She became human instantly.

Though her form had changed, her wounds had stayed the same. Opening her eyes to access the damage, Daine flinched at the sight. She could not comprehend how she was still alive and breathing with such injuries. She knew it was only a matter of minutes before she would breathe her last and she would die. There was no possible way that she could live through such a fall and especially with an arrow embedded deeply within her chest. That was the worst of all her wounds just now and it would be the one that would take her life.

Moaning from the deep pain that wracked her entire body, Daine rolled her body over so that she was laying on her back. She could feel the life being slowly and painfully sucked away from her. It was a difficult thing to understand and carry, that your life was coming to an end. In the past months she had reached the height of what her life could be without Numair. Though she felt she had nothing more to lose now and that she should be thankful that the hunters had come when they did, the question that had distracted her earlier loomed menacingly over her dying form. Was she ready to face Numair again?

As soon as that thought entered her conscious mind, Daine found herself seeing him as she had remembered him. Memories of her time spent with her lover flashed before her, making her understand that despite the chance that he might hate her now, she had to see him. She was most definitely ready to see him again to the point that it was vital that she did. Now, as she fought consciousness she could feel her lips twist into a smile. Today was the last day she would be lonely. There would be no more tragedy in her life, for it was all over now. Gods, she would get to see Numair again. She would get to hold him again, feel his warm breath tickling her skin as he held her tightly in his embrace. She could almost taste the passion of his kiss now as she lay dying.

She longed for him to be here in her last moments as her breaths became short. It was as she had once been told: fear did strike the victim as they died. Despite all of the peace she ought to be feeling for she would get to be reunited with Numair, she felt fear all the same. Her life was over and it scared her. She thought of how she had run from life these past few months and that both frightened and disgusted her.

In the distance, Daine could hear the yells of the two leggers as they grew nearer to where she lay. She could hear the crunch of gravel beneath their boots as they made their way down the edge of the path and into the surrounding woods in search of what they had thought to be a wolf. Daine wanted them to find her, for by the time they did she would be dead. She wanted her human friends to know what fate had befallen her. She only wished she could tell them that she was glad, for she did not want these huntsmen to be blamed. She did not want her death to be on their hands. It was her own fault for not showing herself to them as the two legger she truly was.

As Daine took in one last ragged breath, she knew it was over now. She knew that this very moment was her last. Her pain had become so much that her body had gone numb. She was thankful for that, for she did not want to be in pain as she died. Daine could feel sobs wracking her throat as she choked and fought for breath. This was natural, thought she did not will herself to do it. Coughing and sputtering, she felt blood and bile begin to rise up in her throat, but no breath came. Deep down, she had known it would not. The blood she had coughed up began to spurt from her lips and with a final moan, her eyes drifted lazily shut. Her body grew suddenly still and she moved no more. The last thing that she could see was a mental image of Numair that rose up in her mind. If she could have moved, she would have smiled at the site of him. Veralidaine Sarrasri was dead.



A/N: I'm so sorry for taking so long to update! This has been a REALLY rough summer for me, you've got to understand and I've only just pulled myself out of depression. As a gift to you for being so patient, I've made this a REALLY REALLY REALLY long chapter as I'm sure you've already noticed considering you just got through reading it. Now, I know what you're thinking, and I understand. You're thinking that I've just pulled a 'they both die and live happily ever after in the after life'. Well, I haven't. Things really aren't what they seem, so stay tuned so you can see what they heck I'm up to. PLEASE don't ditch me now! I'd be so sad if you didn't get to see what I've really got in mind for the ending, because I think its cool. So please read the next chapter! Oh, and definitely review!