Karen sighed as she tossed and turned. She had all but given up on the idea of sleep and instead opted for a cup of coffee. For most people that was a sure fire way to be up and alert but caffeine seemed to have the opposite effect on her. In fact, it always had. So she climbed out of bed, donned a robe and headed for her kitchen. She gasped when she first saw the lone figure sitting at the table but immediately her horrified glance was replaced with a smile. Lucas was home. Granted it was only a couple of days he had been able to sneak away and it had been a surprise but she had been thrilled all the same.
"Hi honey."
"Hey Mom. Did I wake you?"
"No. Sometimes I can't sleep. I just lie awake and worry."
"What are you worried about?"
"I'm a mother and a grandmother, Lucas. I worry about everything", she smiled. "Now what are you doing up?"
"Just thinking."
"About…"
"Stuff. I don't know everything", he said as he played with the wedding ring on his left hand.
"I guess the divorce will be final soon."
"Yeah. Real soon. Any day now my attorney says."
"How do you feel about that?"
"I don't know. How should I feel? I mean, on one hand, I'm sad. A very long and very important chapter of my life is coming to a close. On the other hand, I'm angry. Angry at myself for ruining everything, angry at life for being so damned unfair and angry at Brooke for being so unforgiving. Then another part of me…well, I kind of feel relieved."
"Is that so bad?" Karen asked carefully.
"I don't know, Mom. Is it? I mean, the last year has been the longest one of my life. I went from living the high life with a woman I was crazy in love with, then we started trying for a baby and when it didn't happen, we got a little crazy with it and let it tear us apart. And one stupid night I let alcohol and my problems and insecurities get the best of me and I screwed up. One night. One stupid night that I'd give anything to take back. Then Brooke found out and I hurt her and disappointed her and you and Nathan and Haley as well…I screwed up big time, Mom. I know no matter what, no apologies will erase that. For a while I thought I could. I thought if I could just show her, just prove to everybody how sorry I am, that would make up for everything. I guess I was just kidding myself. It's over. Sometimes you just don't get that second chance. And that's just something I have to deal with. My marriage is over and that sucks but it isn't the end of the world. I've got my career and my family and my friends…most of all, I have my daughter and nothing is more important than her. At least Brooke and I are friends now. But it was terrible not knowing what was going on, constantly arguing, constantly begging for forgiveness. Now I guess I'm just at peace with it. I don't like it but I've found peace. It is what it is and I can't change it so I may as well accept it. When I think of it that way, I do feel relief and that's a hell of a lot better than the misery I was in before."
Karen smiled as she rubbed the shorn locks of her only child's head. With age and experience, maturity had finally come but judging by the troubled look in his eyes, had it come too late?
"I love you, Lucas", she smiled. "I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I really do. I was proud of you the day you were born, every moment you were a boy and now I'm so proud of the man you've become."
He smiled as he hugged her, fighting back tears. She had given up so much in her own life so that he could prosper. Lucas would never forget that. He loved his mother with all his heart.
---------
"Son, I still don't know about us being workout buddies", Dan said, shaking his head.
As part of Dan's recovery his physician had ordered cardiovascular rehabilitation. For some reason Lucas had been drawn to seeing his father on his brief visit to Tree Hill and there they were…
"Look man, I don't mind joining you…"
"Son, it gives us a chance to spend more time together and I'm all for that but I just worry about you. If only you'd take that test…"
"Well I'm not and it's a closed issue so we may as well drop it", Lucas said sternly.
Conceding, Dan just nodded his head.
"Fine, Luke. I just want to get to know you."
"Man, you've had my whole life to do that."
"I know and I should have a very long time ago. From the beginning. But I'm sorry and this is my chance to make amends with you and begin at the beginning with my little granddaughter. I've made a lot of mistakes when it came to both you and Nathan but it never meant that I didn't love you. Because I did…I do."
Lucas could only nod at the new showing of emotion. It was still weird to be at the civil point it had taken them nearly eight years to arrive at. He even felt sorry for the man he had once loathed as Dan seemed to have a hard time briskly walking to the corner.
"You okay, man? This isn't a race. We can slow it down if you want", Lucas offered.
"Easy for you to say", Dan grunted.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. It's just…it's hard to be less than what you once were. You might not understand that."
"Yeah, I do. I've understood ever since the car accident and I get it now more than ever with everything that's going on…personally and professionally."
"Is Brooke doing okay?"
"You really want to know?"
"Of course. I may not have always showed it but I'm very fond of the girl. She is the mother of my granddaughter after all."
"She's good. She seems to be happy. She loves her job and she's great at it. And New York is definitely her kind of town, you know? Everything is so busy and crowded and always on the go just the way Brooke likes it. Besides, she is a fantastic mother."
"So with all the rush for this divorce nonsense, do you think she's seeing someone else?"
"No", Lucas retorted quickly. "I mean, I don't think so. No, definitely not."
"I just saw a picture of her in the paper with…"
"Felix Colwell. He's a big shot fashion dude with a quick smile and even quicker charm. Brooke is too smart to fall for that guy, he's a real loser."
"And you? What about the lady in your life?"
"The only lady in my life besides Mom is the one who stole my heart four months ago…when she was born", Lucas smiled. "Other than that, I'm through with women for a while. It's too much hassle."
"You're doing the right thing. I'm proud of you, Lucas", he said, putting a sympathetic hand on his older son's shoulder.
The touch, one Luke had secretly yearned for as a boy was now slightly awkward and made him recoil.
"Come on, Dan. We should get back soon."
----------
Lucas stood in the full length mirror secretly trying to check out how his ass looked in the jeans he was contemplating purchasing. Normally that would have been the least "manly" thing to do but being married to Brooke, he had learned a trick or two shopping over the years. It was his last night in Tree Hill and he'd decided to go to the mall. Tree Hill was home, the place where he'd grown up, the one place where he could still be just plain old Luke in lieu of one half of the famous Scott brothers, or the New York Knick, or the dumb ass who had cheated on his beautiful wife. It was that comfort that had helped him ignore the gathering swarm of teenage girls giggling and practically foaming at the mouth.
"Wow, Mr. Scott…it's really you! Can I get your autograph?" one girl swooned.
Always compliant to the fans, Lucas nodded and smiled and scribbled his signature on one of her receipts.
"Me too, me too."
Then two autographs turned into four, four to eight and before he knew it there was a mob of screaming fans with pen, paper and cameras in tow. An ambush was the last thing Lucas wanted or expected. It was getting out of control, the brood no match for the flashlight cops of mall security. Some of the girls were literally tearing the shirt off his back.
"Follow me", a soft voice said, pulling his hand.
Together they ducked through the crowd out of the back entrance, hand in hand.
"My car is outside", she whispered.
Finally they dove into her shiny, black Mercedes, both out of breath. It was Luke's first time getting a look at the beautiful stranger who had rescued him but he was more than grateful.
"Ha!" she grinned. "Mission accomplished."
"Look, I'm sorry about all that back there. Really it's never happened here before. I'm…"
"Lucas Scott, the one and only. I know. I've seen you on TV and there were rumours you were in town. The goody two shoes mob back there kind of confirmed it."
"Well, thank you. I appreciate it. Um, what's your name?"
"Anna."
"Well Anna, I guess I owe you one, considering I won't be able to retrieve my rental car for at least an hour or so…"
"I know a place where we can go", she smiled.
There was something about her that put him at ease. He allowed himself to be driven away to parts unknown with a woman he knew only as "Anna". She ended up driving to a dive pizza joint on the outskirts of town that Lucas and the gang had frequented during their high school years. The beer was old and the food was greasy but it was just another aspect of home. They sat in a back booth and ate and laughed and talked.
"So…Miss Anna. How much do I owe you for the pizza?"
"Nothing. My treat. The least I can do for a star of your calibre", she laughed. "I mean, I've never done this before. People just don't meet and hang out like this…unless it's a hook up."
"A hook up?" Lucas grinned. "Sorry. I'm way too old for that."
"You're never too old."
"But there is such a thing as being too married. Anyway. Long story…trust me."
"Do you think two people can get to know each other…without ever going into their long stories?"
"Sure."
"But isn't who you were a part of who you are?"
"Maybe, but I guess I'm saying that I don't really need to know the person that you used to be as much as the person that you're trying to be. Make sense?"
"Yeah…I guess it does."
"So, it's almost midnight. I take it my impromptu fan club has given up. Maybe I should get my car back."
"Sure. I'll take you. Do you always have this weird history of meeting girls and them disappearing at the end of the night?"
"You have no idea", he half joked. "But…not this time. How about this? You give me your number and maybe we could talk sometime. Just as friends, I mean. You understand with my divorce and my child and everything…"
"I understand", she smiled. "I think you're a great guy, Luke. I enjoyed spending time with you tonight. I'm not asking for anything more than it is and believe me, I understand your situation…and I respect it."
He smiled as he looked in her eyes. There was something pure and genuine about her. For the first time in a long time, he felt good. Good about himself, about his family, about coming back to Tree Hill, about his life. Now sitting next to the dark haired beauty beside him he felt just…good.