Part 3

Lennier had left Medlab to spread the news of Marcus' need for donors among the Minbari and the Rangers on the station. He hardly needed to have bothered. The news had spread like a flash flood. People from both groups were already in line waiting to give the same sacrifice that Lennier felt so much satisfaction over giving.

Susan felt the brush of Lyta's mental touch.

(Lyta is trying to contact me again, I'm going to try to reach her.)

(Lyta?)

((Susan, Stephen has been able to reverse the drain on Marcus' life.))

(Yes, I know. I have sensed the growing strength of life in him.)

((I'm going to try to contact Marcus again.))

(Lyta is trying to reach out to you Marcus, can you sense her?)

(Yes, I sense something.)

((Marcus, Stephen is concerned about Susan. He thinks she should break the mental link now. I don't think she can do that if you don't let go.))

(Okay. I understand)

((Susan, you need to let go of Marcus now and come back to us. I know he's going to recover.))

Susan took Marcus' hand. It felt real, yet unreal at the same moment.

(You know I have to leave now. It isn't because I want to. I'll be there when you wake up. I know you know that I love you. I can't hide those feelings from you or even from myself. Return to me on the station where we can have a life together.)

(I'll be there.)

Susan Ivanova looked up and saw Zack hooked to the machine. Somehow he had never struck her before as someone who cared for anyone beside himself. People could surprise you. Susan let go of Marcus' hand and stood up weakly. She had no memory of sitting down in that chair. Someone must have brought it for her.

"Susan, you need some rest. After I unhook Zack I want you to come with me."

Susan followed Stephen back to Medlab 2. As she lay back on the bed, he turned the monitors on.

"I'm going to give you something to make sure you sleep," Stephen told her.

Stephen checked the corridor before going back to Medlab 3. The line of people waiting stretched on and on. It seemed as if almost everyone who had heard the news wanted to be part of this remarkable day. Stephen felt incredibly tired, but he couldn't allow another doctor to take on the full responsibility of the machine. Most of his staff had made a donation, anyway. After Lennier's donation, his staff had begun to assist him. It was a tedious process hooking and unhooking people to the machine. With this amount of volunteers, he only turned it on each time for a few seconds.

The time stretched endlessly. There must be things going on outside Medlab, but from Stephen's viewpoint, the other things didn't exist. No ships had docked bringing new casualties. Things must have calmed down on that front.

Every reading on Marcus seemed normal. Stephen had taken him off life support a long time ago. There were still plenty of volunteers, but Stephen didn't think they were necessary. Marcus was sleeping peacefully.

Lyta stepped into the French restaurant. The room was small, intimate, and beautifully decorated with impressionist art prints, and lots of greenery and flowers. It felt like a garden. The smell of gourmet food was incredible. Lyta looked around for Zack. He was seated in the back corner, talking with the waiter.

The place was full of people chatting about Marcus. Lyta could sense a closeness between people who were at best acquaintances. The room emanated the same type of euphoria she had felt. On her way to her table, the patrons smiled and exchanged pleasantries with her. It was the first time since she had come to the station that she felt truly welcome and accepted.

Zack got up from his chair and helped Lyta into her chair very formally. She had never really had a date with Zack before. At her place was a single red rose. Lyta, so unused to such attention, could only stammer a quiet thank-you.

"So how are things over in Medlab?" Zack asked.

"Marcus is in natural sleep, Stephen asked me to scan him before I left, and everything seems to be normal."

"How do you feel about scanning someone without permission? Now that you're part of Psi Corps again, I didn't think you could do that."

"The situation was a little different... I was under doctor's orders."

"Does Stephen think that when Marcus recovers there will be any brain damage?"

"It's hard to say. When I noticed that he still had thoughts, his mind was functioning, only at a level that Stephen couldn't measure. No, I'm sure Marcus will make a full recovery, and I know that Stephen believes that, too."

"You know, Lyta, it really felt great to give away a little part of myself. Stephen said he wasn't sure how much time I've taken off my life, but that it couldn't be too much."

"Well, Bester may get my body a few months earlier than I had planned, but I don't think I could have let Marcus die just to hold on to those last few months at the end of my life."

"I felt that way, too," Zack replied, "but what's this about Bester?"

"You know when I couldn't get a job I was in a tight place. It seemed the only option. As part of my return to legitimate status, I signed over my corpse -- but only if I die a natural death...Any other way and it might have been too much temptation for Bester."

"Why that scumbag! I ought to... "

"Please Zack," Lyta interrupted, "this has started out as such a great evening. Let's not let Bester spoil it for us."

Zack looked into Lyta's eyes and smiled.

"OK. Do you know what you'd like for dinner? I've heard that the Coq a la Marseilles is really good."

Lyta smiled back. "So you're not a connoisseur?"

"Nah, Garibaldi told me about this place months ago. I just never had a reason before to come here."

"And now you do?"

"I'd like to think so."

Stephen was asleep on the bed in Medlab 1. Lennier had come in to check on things, and discovered Stephen sleeping. He sat down in the chair next to the bed and began to pray quietly. He had started a ritual fast that afternoon and felt a little lightheaded. Part of the ritual was a time of prayer and meditation. He thought a lot about the events of the day, the meaning of life and sacrifice, and the joining of two souls. In his heart he longed for that type of bonding, but sadly, he knew it was impossible. She loved another, and that was her destiny. He would gladly have made the sacrifice Marcus made for Susan, but he wouldn't have wanted to be restored. The sacrifice was an honorable thing and there would have been nothing to come back for, only future heartache and the silencing of his own longings. Did she even know how he felt? Did she know how much he suffered in her happiness? Enough of these musings! He began to pray again.

Susan stirred in her drug enhanced sleep. She didn't feel refreshed. She had been dreaming about Marcus. They had been discussing their feelings for each other, rather primly. The intensity of feeling didn't mesh with holding hands. She longed for greater physical contact.

Susan opened her eyes and looked around. Here she was in Medlab, just as she thought. She looked at the chronometer. Night shift. Well, it certainly was quiet. She got out of bed and walked noiselessly out of Medlab 2. There was Stephen asleep in the Medlab 1 bed with Lennier asleep in the chair next to him. They were both covered by Medlab issue blankets.

The night nurse approached her.

"Commander Ivanova, you really should still be in bed." At Susan's stern look she added quickly," I suppose it would be okay if I set you up a chair in Medlab 3. He's doing fine."

Susan knew she meant Marcus. She could see him through the doorway. He had that boyish look of peaceful sleep on his face. Susan felt an inexplicable longing.

"Then I didn't just dream it?" She asked the night nurse, stupidly.

"Did you think you did?"

"I guess it seemed so unreal that I thought it must have been a dream."

"The whole day seemed unreal to me," the night nurse replied, "so I can understand what you mean. Would you like to sit with him?"

"I uh... yes," she said hesitantly, "and could you get me a cup of tea?"

"Sure thing."

The nurse put the chair next to the bed and handed Susan a blanket.

"I'll be back in a few minutes."

Susan sat back and evaluated herself. Had she really told Marcus that she loved him? Fear gripped her heart. She wasn't ready to love anyone...and yet it seemed so natural to love this man. Her need to touch him was so strong that she felt a painful longing caused by her own restraint. She needed to touch him, and she knew if she did all would be lost.

The nurse slipped in quietly and set the tea on the med tray next to the bed. She left Susan to her musings.

Susan closed her eyes and thought about the things Marcus had done to make her laugh -- like that silly chart explaining his place in the universe. She smiled to herself. She thought about his quick wit. Their relationship to this point had been littered with verbal sparring. She couldn't help but enjoy matching wits with him. And what about the sacrifice he had made on her behalf. Would any other man have done the same?

She looked at Marcus now. It would hardly be a chore to wake up to that face each morning. There was nothing unattractive in his appearance. He could even make a med gown look good. She had to look away.

What was she thinking? She had promised to be here when he awoke. Was she really such a coward that she couldn't face him, couldn't face herself and the desires of her heart? Get a grip, Ivanova. This was an easy decision, a right decision...but that intimate mental bond -- she needed to establish it again, to feel that close to someone again -- could she open herself up like that again? Susan didn't want anyone to see inside -- to know that she could be that vulnerable. If she couldn't trust her true self to the man who loved her enough to die for her, who could she trust? Did she really want to spend her life alone? She knew with certainty that she could not stay on this station with Marcus if she didn't forge that bond.

Susan reached out gently and picked up Marcus' hand. She opened her mind to him. There it was -- that familiar closeness. The rightness of that bond was overwhelming. Tears coursed down Susan's face as she embraced the bond. This time it was different. She had no visual picture, but she could sense the love that Marcus felt for her. She knew the intimacy of his heart.

Marcus began to stir. He opened his eyes and she was flooded with his thoughts. She quickly put up mental barriers so that she could function. She roughly dried her eyes on her blanket.

"Susan," he said weakly, "did you mean what you said to me after all?"

"I won't lie to you, Marcus. I have thought seriously about the possibilities. They scare me."

"A moment ago, when I first woke up, I could feel your confusion. Susan, I've never before known the inside of a person. I've never been telepathic. It certainly puts a twist on life."

"I think you must be a little telepathic, Marcus. I haven't felt any kind of mental bond with anyone since my mother died."

"Don't be afraid of me, Susan. Could you drop the mental walls - I'd like to try that telepathy again."

"Okay."

(Susan, can you hear this?)

(Yes, I hear you, and I sense the real you behind the words.)

(I sense the real you, too. Don't be afraid, Susan. I promise to take all this slowly if that's what you'd like.)

(You know what I'd like, Marcus.)

Marcus sat up and put his arms around Susan. As their lips touched he felt extreme pleasure. His own, and Susan's. Her lips were unbelievably soft. His fingers trembled as he caressed her face, her neck, her hair.

Susan felt Marcus' kiss in her, through her, to that very core of herself that must be her soul. It was enhanced by the multiplying of her feelings with his. It was intensely intimate and Susan responded with all of the passion of her nature. No intimacy in her life had ever felt this satisfying.

"Uh humm...I see that you're awake. I hate to break this up, but I'm going to need to ask some questions."

At the sound of Stephen's voice, Susan and Marcus jerked away from each other. To Susan, the separation left a void. She reached out with her thoughts.

(Marcus.)

She felt his warm presence filling that emptiness.

"Susan, if you move the chair over by the wall, I'll be able to get this done a lot faster. So Marcus, welcome back to the land of the living. Do you feel any different at all?"

As Stephen questioned Marcus, he checked the medlog, the monitors, and did a brief physical exam.

"If you mean have I lost mental function, I lost that when I became a Ranger. I have often been accused of not being in my right mind."

"I see you still have your sense of humor. Seriously, before I run the battery of cognitive tests tomorrow, I'd like to get some feedback from you on your experience."

"All right. What would you like to know?"

"What was that state like after the transfer?"

"I can't tell you, exactly. I don't have any frame of reference other than it was a bit like traveling in hyperspace."

"Were you alone?"

"I didn't feel alone, only drawn away from you all. That is until Susan came for me. I was able to hold on to this life because of her. How were you able to bring me back here?"

"It was a group effort. Your friends, associates, and even total strangers made a donation of life energy to restore the life you had given to save Susan. Marcus, hundreds of people came forward. In the end I had to turn away hundreds more when the donation was no longer needed."

The thought of all of those people making that sacrifice caused Marcus' eyes to well up. He had been through such an emotional upheaval that it was hard to maintain control. Susan, sensing this, sent him reassurance.

"I don't know how I can repay them all."

"Marcus, if you continue to live your life honorably and in service to others you will have repaid that debt with interest. Don't worry about it. Everyone who donated did it because it meant something to them to do it. The morale on this station has never been higher. Enough lecturing...there has been one definite change. I want to test your psi abilities."

"Before all of this happened, I was never telepathic."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"I can hardly be more than a P-1. The only person in Medlab I have any sense of is Susan."

"I still want to test you, but that can wait until tomorrow. I'm going to put you back to sleep, Marcus."

"Don't you think he's slept long enough?" Susan asked.

"After you go through your residency, I'll ask for your opinion."

Stephen got two tablets from the medical locker and two glasses of water.

"You need more sleep, too, Susan. Doctor's orders."

"Cheers!" Marcus said as he clanked Susan's water glass before taking his pill.

"Cheers," Susan replied. (He can separate us but I'll still be here with you, Marcus.)

(There are benefits to this ability)

"Now stop that, you two," Stephen said.

"How do you know that we're doing anything?" Marcus asked.

"You look guilty."

"Oh! Susan, try not to look so guilty next time."

"Me!"

"Come on, Susan," Stephen said, "time to take a nap."

The drug was beginning to take effect. Susan felt very sleepy. As Stephen helped her into bed, he winked and said, "Sweet dreams."