Part 4

Lieutenant Corwin was in C & C. Like most of the shift he felt tired, not just from giving the donation, though. He was just about to start his third duty shift. He couldn't rest until he had some answer to the message he had sent to Captain Sheridan. Being the senior officer on duty, no one could force him to give up his post, except Doctor Franklin, and he was too busy to notice.

About twenty minutes into the third shift, the communication link was made. Captain Sheridan was on the screen. Lieutenant Corwin could see Ambassador Delenn behind him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't contact you sooner. Things have been a little crazy here."

"They've been a little crazy here, too, sir."

"I got your message about Commander Ivanova. That's great news."

"Yes, sir. We are expecting her to return to duty in about a week. She and Marcus Cole are still in Medlab."

Delenn stepped forward.

"How is Marcus?" she asked.

"The report out of Medlab is that he will make a full recovery."

Delenn smiled, "That's wonderful."

"If all goes as planned here, we should be returning to the station by the time Commander Ivanova resumes her duties," the captain said. "Keep us posted. Things have quieted down here enough to send regular communications."

"Yes, sir, I will."

"By the way, I've asked Mr. Garibaldi to return to the station to take charge. He should be arriving in about six hours."

"Yes, sir."

"And Lieutenant, get some sleep. That's an order."

"Yes, sir, I'll get right on that."

It was past midday. Susan could hear Stephen whistling a popular tune in the next room. She reached out to Marcus. Yes, she could still make the connection. In fact, it seemed even easier. He was sleeping. Snoring, no doubt.

(I am not snoring!)

(I thought you were sleeping.)

(I was until you insulted me with your thoughts. Woke me right up. Besides, I never snore.)

(How would you know?)

(I did share a room with my brother.)

(That was a long time ago. Maybe you've changed.)

(You'd better hope that I haven't.)

(What's that supposed to mean? Is this some sort of proposition?)

(If I was going to give you some sort of proposition, It wouldn't be while we were arguing! I envision a candlelight dinner, maybe dancing...)

(I don't dance.)

(I'll teach you. Where was I...ah dancing, yes, and while we're dancing you'll whisper sweet nothings in my ear.)

(I would not!)

(Okay, how would you do it?)

(I like the part about the dinner.)

(Anything else?)

(Why are we discussing this, Cole? Don't you think it's a little too soon?)

(No, I don't. Actually, I'd rather do this face to face. Why don't you come in here?)

(I can't. I've got to check in with Corwin and go over station operations with him.)

(Coward!)

(You may be right.)

(Susan, I was only teasing.)

(Okay, I'll come visit for a few minutes, but I'm not ready to make commitments right now.)

Susan put up some mental barriers to Marcus' communication. On his part, Marcus respected this privacy and did not actively try to get past the barriers. He felt satisfied that she loved him and would come around to his way of thinking on the subject. He knew with certainty that she was his soul-mate, destined to be his life-partner. If he didn't rush things, didn't irritate her too much, maybe she would see the logic of it sooner than she thought.

He knew Susan from the inside out. He knew her insecurities, her loneliness, her mistrust of relationships. But he also sensed her trust in him and that love for him that was buried so deeply. He just had to dig it out. He had plenty of time.

Susan walked in. She saw Marcus smiling to himself. She wondered what he was thinking -- no, don't even go there Ivanova.

"Why don't you pull up a chair? I was about to order lunch. I could ask for candles if you'd like," he teased.

Susan laughed. "Somehow candles and Medlab rations don't mesh with the picture you were painting."

"You do have your link. We could order out."

"Stephen would love that!"

"What would Stephen love?" Stephen asked as he entered Medlab 3.

"To join us for lunch." Marcus replied.

"I've had mine."

"Here?" Susan asked.

"No, I had a sandwich delivered from the deli."

"Any chance you might get us one?" asked Marcus.

"Sorry. You know the routine, both of you. It isn't like this is your first visit to Medlab."

"It was worth a try." Marcus replied.

"I'll have the nurse bring you both lunch. Afterwards I have to run some tests on both of you before I can release you from Medlab. So there are no surprises, you are both on medical leave for a week -- no matter how healthy the tests show you to be...don't argue with me, Susan. I know that look. You almost died."

"What about the station? Corwin needs my help."

"Not to worry. Michael's back and he's been running C & C all morning, so you have no excuses."

"I guess I have no excuses."

"Is it so hard to take some time off and relax?"

"You have no idea."

"I think that's a reference to me, but I'll try not to get too insulted," said Marcus.

"I'll just leave you two to work this out." Stephen said with a grin, as he left to catch up on his medlogs.

Lunch actually wasn't too bad. Susan kept her mental barriers up and they talked as friends. Marcus was wise enough not to remind Susan that he knew what was really in her heart. Their friendship was as important as the desire they both felt. That friendship would sustain their relationship through whatever lay ahead for them. When they had finished lunch, Susan stood up to leave. Marcus reached over, took her hand, and pulled her toward him. When she didn't resist, he gently kissed her.

Susan didn't mind the kiss. She actually hoped he would kiss her again. But this time it had no fire, no power to it the way the first kiss had. She knew he was letting her initiate the passion. She broke off the kiss and looked at him. As she looked into his eyes she could see his restrained passion, or did she feel it through the bond? She was sure that the opening of her mind to him was the only way to reclaim the ecstasy of yesterday. She craved it.

Marcus was suddenly engulfed in her passionate thoughts. He pulled her to him, and kissed her fiercely, hungrily. Not just her lips, but her face and her neck.

In a moment it was over. She had pushed him away.

"I don't know how to deal with this, Marcus."

"I know. The joy of this is so overwhelming it's painful. I felt this kiss even stronger than the last time."

"I know you did. We only kissed for a few moments and I was in sensory overload."

"I think we can control that - given enough practice," he replied.

She threw his pillow at him.

"Ouch! Seriously Susan, I have never had such incredible intimacy in my life, and I sense that you haven't either. Am I wrong?"

"You know you're right."

"I'm right about us, too," he said softly.

"Give me a little space to think about it."

"I'm trying."

"You certainly are." She grinned and left for Medlab 2.

In all of her experiences in Medlab, Susan had never had so many tests in one day. The cheerfulness of the Medlab staff had the opposite effect on Susan. She felt irritable and annoyed. Stephen seemed to enjoy her irritation. When he asked her a series of very personal questions, she knew his seriousness was a facade. He was laughing on the inside! How irritating! The one person Susan was trying not to think of was at the foremost of everyone's conversation.

Marcus! She loved him, she couldn't deny that anymore, but where was their relationship going? She knew that Marcus wasn't looking for temporary satisfaction. She knew he regarded her as his soul-mate. He really had no secrets from her anymore. When the barriers were down, she had sensed the totality of his feelings and desires for their future. She knew that given any encouragement on her part, he would propose. She didn't want that...yet. She needed a little bit of space, and she needed to learn how to control herself. There was only one person on the station who could help her do that. Susan picked up her com-link.

When Lyta arrived at Medlab, she saw Stephen overseeing Marcus' tests. Susan was in her room pacing around. The strength of Susan's inner turmoil hit Lyta like a wave. Well, it was hardly surprising. The more Susan tried to suppress her desires, the longer she would battle herself.

"Lyta, I need some telepathic advice."

"I've never been in love with another telepath, so I'm not sure how much help I can give you, but I'll do my best."

"Since Marcus and I have formed this telepathic bond, it's been hard to have any level of physical intimacy."

Lyta looked at Susan, but didn't comment.

"Okay..." Susan sighed, "He kissed me twice, and each time I felt like I would explode from the passion of it - from the telepathic reflections of the passion... I take that back. The second time he kissed me - at the start I had the barriers up and it felt like a regular kiss - but I don't want that, either."

"What do you want?"

"I liked the intimacy...but I'm afraid any future sexual relationship is going to kill me."

"No telepath ever died from love."

"You sure about that?"

"Yes, I am, and I know now how to help you. If you want the intimacy, you'll have to let the barriers down, but you'll have to put up some filters."

"How do I do that?"

"I can only show you telepathically."

"Go ahead."

"Thank-you for trusting me."

"I think we've been through too much the last couple of days for me not to trust you."

"Thanks. Your trust and friendship mean a lot to me."

"Me, too," Susan replied.

Lyta left Susan to go speak with Marcus. She found him up and showered, sitting in a chair talking to Zack.

"Oh hi!" Zack said as she entered the room, "I just got off my duty shift and I was waiting to ask if you'd like to come by and watch an old vid with me...I'll even make dinner."

"You can cook?"

"Not as well as the chief, but I do have a couple of specialties."

"That sounds great. I don't have any plans for tonight. I am going to have to ask you to wait outside. I need to advise Marcus professionally."

A look of worry crossed Marcus' face.

"You needn't be concerned, this isn't going to hurt a bit."

"Well, in that case, I'm ready," Marcus replied.

"I'll talk to you later," Zack said to Marcus, "and don't forget the tip."

"What tip?" Lyta asked when they were alone.

"He told me about this French restaurant he knew. Lots of candlelight."

Lyta blushed.

Michael Garibaldi whistled as he walked down the corridor toward Medlab. His duty shift had run smoothly and he was looking forward to teasing Ivanova. Stephen had informed him that she would be released from Medlab within the hour. They had a lot to catch up on.

As he walked through the station, people greeted him without animosity. It helped that Sheridan had sent a message explaining the mind control to be broadcast station-wide before he arrived, and rebroadcast several times during his first duty shift. It was embarrassing to have been used by Bester, but that was beyond his control. Michael was back where he belonged, and life couldn't be better. He was expecting Lise to join him here in a couple of days.

Susan was ready to leave when Michael arrived. She was getting last minute instructions from Stephen.

"Ivanova, you look great!" he said as he gave her a quick hug. "There was a time when I didn't know if I'd ever see you again."

"It's good to be back. Hey, wait a minute, Garibaldi. I need to tell Marcus good-bye, and then I'll be right with you."

Garibaldi turned to talk with Stephen as Susan entered Medlab 3.

"Hi," she said a little sadly.

"Hi yourself. I see you're leaving me."

"I've been discharged and I need to check on a few things."

"It's been great being roommates with you here in Medlab. I'll miss it."

"Me too," she replied, "but I'll be back to tuck you in tonight," she added hastily.

"Sounds like fun. Stephen says I should get discharged tomorrow morning."

"Yes, he told me. I'll see you later."

She turned to leave.

"Susan, wait."

He walked to where she was standing and gathered her in a strong embrace. This time she felt in control as she opened up her mind and heart. She felt his painful longing, how he already missed her, the things he hadn't said. He loved her with a pure love. How could she not respond? How could she not let him feel her own love and desire? She was awash in sensations, and it felt great.

"I love you, Susan," he whispered. Then he kissed her on the forehead and released her.

"I'm looking forward to tonight," she said.

"Me, too."

Susan spent her night tossing. She couldn't sleep. After leaving Marcus in Medlab with that last kiss goodnight, she returned to her quarters feeling lonelier than she had felt since her mother died. She needed his physical comfort, not this separation. He was right. She could no longer be happy without total commitment. She hated it when he was right.

She ached for him. Susan got out of bed. Two more hours until morning. She couldn't stay here. She got dressed and went to Medlab.

Marcus felt Susan's presence, both mentally and physically as he awoke that morning. He couldn't help it. She was laying next to him on the bed, her head on his chest. He stroked her hair.

"You awake, love?" he asked softly.

"Mmmm."

"How long have you been here?"

She checked the chronometer sleepily. "About three hours."

"Why did you come so early?"

"I had to tell you something."

"What?"

"I agree."

"Agree to what?"

"Your proposal."

"Susan, I haven't proposed anything yet."

"Yes, you have. In here." She tapped his forehead.

"You know I can't help that."

"Yes, but regardless of that I still agree. I can't live without sleep, and I can't sleep without you."

"You know this isn't how I wanted to ask you."

"I know, but I don't want to wait for dinner."

"How about breakfast, then. I need to get cleaned up, and you could stand some freshening up yourself."

"Thanks."

"Well, if I'm going to do this, then I want it done properly."

"It's not necessary."

"It's important to me, Susan. And besides, I want to set a good example for the grandkids."

She gave him another whack with the pillow.

"Ouch! You're getting too good at this. I might have to ban pillows from our quarters."

She whacked him again.

"Is a half an hour long enough?" she asked laughingly.

"Make it an hour, and you've got yourself a date."

"It can't take you that long to get dressed."

"No. it can't," he said mysteriously.

After she left he called Lennier, gave him his passcode, and asked him to retrieve something from his quarters. Marcus took a fast shower, dressed in his clothes, and was ordering breakfast from the nurse when Lennier arrived. Lennier had in one hand a candle from his own room, and in his other hand a small box from Marcus' room. He fished out a music crystal from his robe.

"Is this everything you need?" Lennier asked.

"Yes, that will just about do it."

"I don't understand your strange earth rituals."

"This is an old one. When someone proposes marriage, it's supposed to be romantic."

"Are you going to be married, then?"

"Yes, she's already agreed."

"You do the ritual after she agrees?"

"Not usually, but in this case, yes. It's actually going to be an enjoyable time. I already know she won't refuse me, so I have nothing to worry about."

"I see."

"Lennier, when we have the ceremony, will you stand up with me?"

"What does that entail?"

"I'll give you a gold band, and you'll give it back to me when the minister asks for the ring. You'll also be one of the two official witnesses...for the record."

"That sounds easy enough. When is the ceremony?"

"I'll let you know."

When Susan arrived back in Medlab, she almost laughed aloud. Marcus had arranged the medtray between two chairs. There was breakfast. In the center of the tray was a lit candle. Soft music was playing, and the lights were lowered.

Marcus met her at the door, and with a sweep of his arm said, "Enter milady."

He helped her into her chair. It was hard for Susan to eat breakfast knowing what he had on his mind. Marcus for his part had a hard time concentrating on his meal. His mind was filled with thoughts of her. She had changed into a flowing green dress, and she looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her.

"Well?" she said as she finished her last bite. He was staring at her, after all.

"Yes, ummm, just a second."

He got on his knees before her chair. He took a small box from his pocket and handed it to her.

"Susan, I love you more than anything in this universe. I can't imagine living my life without you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course I will. I wouldn't have put on this dress if I'd planned to refuse you,"she teased. "Seriously," she continued, "I had never planned to marry anyone, but I love you, Marcus Cole. My life would be empty without you."

She opened the box and looked at the ring. It was a full caret diamond in an old-fashioned setting.

"Where did you get this?" she asked.

"Family heirloom. It last belonged to my mother."

He took the ring out of it's box, and placed it on her finger. It was about one size too large. He kissed her hand. It felt electric.

"So what kind of ceremony would you like?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter to me as long as it isn't Minbari. All those rituals would make me crazy. I don't know how John can stand it."

"No Minbari's out. You'd have to go too long without sleep, and by the time we finally got to the vows you might be so grouchy, you'd say no."

She laughed.

"How about Brother Theo, then."

Susan thought about it. "I'm comfortable with that."

"When Stephen lets me out of here, we'll go see him."

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Epilogue

They were married that evening in the Garden. Even with the short notice the wedding went smoothly. The place was full of people who had come to witness the event. Even though Delenn could not make it, she sent Susan a warm personal message, and the offer a beautiful white Minbari gown as her gift (John attached his own message, with advice and predictions about Susan and Marcus' married life that had Susan crying with laughter).

Susan accepted the gown. She spent the last two hours before her wedding with Lyta, getting dressed and prepared. When Susan walked up the aisle to meet Marcus, it was Lyta she followed. Lyta, whom Susan had also learned to love and trust.

After the ceremony Susan, Marcus, and about forty of their closest friends had a small reception at Chez Francois. Zack had reserved the restaurant for the evening.

"I see you managed a candlelight dinner, after all," Susan said to her new husband.

"Actually it was Zack, but I would have - if he hadn't thought of it first."

Susan and Marcus Cole went to the Zocalo the next afternoon to get Susan's rings adjusted. The newlyweds walked arm in arm, exuding that glorious oneness that only newlyweds possess. Many people observing them smiled knowingly.

Susan had never known such happiness. Marcus was able to fulfill all of her imaginings. She didn't need to ask. He knew what she wanted and needed. Susan couldn't imagine a life without Marcus, their communication was so deep she felt they were one soul. Her cynical nature told her that life together would not always be easy, but her heart told her that there was nothing more important than the joy of this new life.