Disclaimer: I don't own lost . The names are fixed, I think. Also, to every one who commented, JessiOnTheMoon

Shanelover1

AA Battery

I did get them but I haven't exactly figured out how to reply. So until then thanks for the tips, they really do help. I love you! Again, sorry about the name spelling, I tried to go back and fix the ones I spelled wrong but I may have missed one or two. This is the last, if any usage issues you may encounter cuz from now on I promise to read over form now on and make sure it all makes since. Thanks again.

Fate

Aftermath

Charlie woke up suddenly. The air around him was cold. He studied the room, confused . He couldn't remember how he got in the tent or where he was before that. His head ached and his whole body felt weighted. The blanket around him hand ben kicked down to his knees. He notice Claire, sleeping upright beside him. It all rushed back. The pain, the gagging. Claire finding him in the woods, half dead. She must hate me. He stared up at the sealing and gave a loud. Startled by the sound, her eyes flickered open. He glanced over at her, realizing she was awake. A smile spread across her face. He wished he could smile back, but something inside him wouldn't allow him to do it. He turned his head from her, stareing up at the top of the tent. "I'm sorry" he muttered, his voice low and raspy. "Why?" she blinked, her voice carried the same volume, but softer, sadder. "For lieing to you. For not telling you sooner." he explained, he turned his head completely away from her. If she cried he would never forgive himself. "Charlie. I understand why you didn't tell me." she confessed, placing her palm on the side if his cheek. He stare at the tarp-wall infront of him, holding back all emotion. "Charlie, please look at me" she begged, her voice creaked. She had probably staid up all night watching him. He forced himself to look at her. There were no tears in her eyes, only relief. Her finger tips barely touching the skin of his cheek. He sat up almost instinctively and took her hand in his. They leaned in at once and kissed. All the thoughts dispread. The pain, the aching, all faded away. They parted after a moment, Claire smiled shyly, her cheeks turned pink. Charlie's grin, on the other hand, was a dazed one. Pure bliss, better than any drug. He reclined back agenst the pile of luggage. He glanced over at her, grinning like a fool. Her smile grew as she looked away from him, to embarrassed to look him in the eye. He patted her hand, witch was still covered in his. She glanced back at him and began laughing. Although he didn't know why, he laughed with her. She took a deep breath to stop her self, resting her head on his shoulder. He pulled his arm around her, the other rested at his side. And for once his fingers didn't tap or shake. They were still, content, at ease. And so was he. Trough the tiny opening in the tent that had worked as a door, he could see everyone was still awake, although it was clearly dark. The flames from the fuselodge flickered high into the dark blue sky, leaving everything behind it blurred. Almost as if they'd crossed through some sci-fi porthole and if they walked through that space, they'd be home. The sky itself was pretty clear, strange because most nights it was either flooding with rain, or just a big black blob. The air smelled good, too. For the last few nights it had stunk with the smell from the bodies being burned, but that had all faded. The flame gave off no sent. Just the smell of the ocean, clean, salty air. In the distance, he could hear loud laughter. A part of him was filled with a sudden burst of energy. He wanted to hope up and join them. Another part was calm, perfectly content with being where he was. Although, he knew he wouldn't sleep. He had been in and out of sleep all day. Though, it wasn't restful. Full of nightmare type sleeps that kept you on your toes even when you were seapoose to be resting, and haunted you when you woke up. The exact content of the dreams, he couldn't remember, but the feeling stuck with him. He had no need to rest, he only slept to dream any ways. And this was better than any crazy dream his conscious could think up. Claire stirred suddenly as another round of laughter swelled up. Her eyes flickered open and she glanced around. Finally, her eyes met his. She smiled, then looked out the "door" at the big gathering. "What are they doing?" she asked, tiredly. "Who knows. Just having a good time, I guess" he replied, once again longing to find out exactly what it was they were doing. Claire must have had the same idea, because she tugged at his arm and tilted her head towards the door, indicting that they'd go join them. He hopped up and walked out with her. As they walked through the sand, her slight ahead of him, leading him, their hands attache gently, he became very nervous. They all knew what had happened. They knew about the drugs and saw him at his weakest moment.

Claire hadn't judged him, but that didn't mean no one else was going to. Kate was standing with her back to them, holding the baby agenst her chest. He spotted Claire and screamed with delight, stretching out his chubby arms to reach for her. Kate turned and smiled when she saw Claire. They made the exchange, passing him to Claire. He squalled again and grabbed at her face with his tiny hand. "I think he missed you" Kate laughed. "You think?" Claire joked, her vice muffled from him grabbing at her mouth. Kate was ignoring him, she hadn't even acknowledged his presence. He didn't blame her. What did you say to someone after you just watched them nearly convulse to death? "Theres plenty of food over there" Kate explained, indicating a broken piece of the plain wing laid across some debree, witch now served as a table and was literly covered in food. "Lock, Sayid and Michael headed out there earlier today and caught a big one" she elaborated, admiring the food. Claire's eyes light up at the sight of it. Charlie, on the other hand couldn't bare the thought of eating. Although most of his withdraw-centimes had faded, he still felt that if he ate anything, he'd throw up. Better he stayed away from it. "You should defonetly go eat." Kate suggested, tying not to sound worried. He wasn't quite sure why she'd be worried about Claire, but he since it in her voice. Claire nodded and headed of towards the food. Kate gave Charlie a little nod as well, before walking away. He stood, watching the others mingle, trying not to be offended by the absence of attention he was getting. He plopped down on a stay tire and watched as Kate approached Jack, smiling at the conversation. Locke and Sayid seemed to be playing a game of cards. Where they found the deck, he didn't know. Rose ,Boone, Sowyer and Shannon all sat around a smaller fire, talking. Every one seemed strangely happy. He was startled by the sudden movement of Vincente, the dog, plopping down beside him. The dog pouted and laid its head on his lap, begging, most likely for food. "Sorry kid, no food here" he explained, feeling a bit silly talking to the dog. The dog made a strange sound, disappointed, and lifted his head up. He panted happily, despite the lack of food. Charlie couldn't help but laugh. At least someone was paying attention to him. "Vincent, leave that man alone. He don't got no food" Walt ordered, popping up before the two suddenly. "Its alright, he's not bothering me" Charlie defended. "Oh, ok then" Walt shrugged. "So what's wrong with you?" he asked, continuing to stand beside the dog, hands in his pockets. "What do you mean?" Charlie asked, a bit confused. "They said you were missing, then they said you were sick" he explained casually. He had no clue. "Uhh...I don't know rely" Charlie replied, not knowing what else to say. "Oh. Well I hope you feel better, Mr.?"he shrugged, trailing the end of his sentence. "Charlie" He replied. "Mr Charlie?" Walt questioned. "No. Just Charlie" he corrected. "Ooh. Ok, Charlie. Theres a kid who went to my school named Charlie." Walt explained. "Really?" Charlie asked, trying to show some interest. "Yeah, but I don't like him much" Walt added.

"Why not?"

"Hes an ass"

"Oh" Charlie laughed.

"Where'd you go to school?" Walt asked, kneeling down to pet Vincent, who was panting frantically. "Um, I went J.R. elementary" Charlie replied, having to think for a moment to remember the name. "Wheres that?" Walt asked. "Manchester" He answered, plainly.

"Oh. Is that in England?"

"Yep"

"I thought so. So what do you do now?" he asked, the kid had a thirst for knowledge. "I'm in a band" he explained, some what happy to get that information out. "Cool." Walt replied, not to amazed by the subject. "What grade are you in?" Charlie asked, turning the tables. "Fith" Walt replied, negatively. "I remember when I was in fith grade. I hated fith grade" Charlie explained. "Yeah, it sucks" Walt agreed. "Hey, Walt. What are you doing" Michael asked, walking up behind him. "Nothing. Just talking to Charlie" he replied, squinting up at him. "Oh" Michael replied, a look of discompher struck his face when he noticed Charlie. "Why don't you and Vincent come play over here and leave Mr. Charlie alone" he suggested, trying his hardest not to sound rude. "Why?" Walt questioned. "Just, go over there" he replied, not wanting to tell the true answer. Walt got up with a sigh and huffed over to the area Michael had pointed to. "By Charlie" he said, giving a pathetic excuse for a wave as he wondered off. "Later" Charlie replied, feeling very uncomfortable talking to him after Michael had chased him away. Michael gave him a look before walking over to where Walt had settled. It was a look you gave to something worthless. A look that said "you'll never be anything". A look that said "stay away from my son". It hurt him, although he knew it was true. He didn't blame Michael for giving him that look. There was a time in his life when he may have saw someone like himself and reacted the same way. And he sure as hell wouldn't let his son hang around a drug addict, even a recovered one. That's when it hit him. Recovered. He was now a recovering drug addict. The strange feel of confidence suddenly swept over him. He was suddenly aware of someone standing next to him. "Hey, hows it going" Hurly asked, standing behind him. "Good. Good" Charlie replied, turning at an angle to see who he was talking to. Hurly took a seat beside him on the oversized wheel. "Hungry?" he asked, indicating the plate infront of him. "Nah" Charlie replied, the sight of food made him sick to his stomach. "Sute yourself" Hurly shrugged, taking a bite of the meat from his little plastic spoork. "That was some episode you had back there" Hurly explained casually. He was the first to acknowledge that he had the withdraws out loud. "Kinda made me feel like my life didn't suck so bad."

Charlie smiled, not knowing exactly what to say. "Must suck for you, now that everybody knows."he said, taking another bite. "Yeah" Charlie nodded. "I mean, people look at me they look and think 'fat ass' but atleast they see a nice gut. With you its just 'druggie' that must suck." he explained, the whole time he kept it casual. Charlie nodded for a moment. "Not every one" was his reply. "Oh, well that's good" Hurly shrugged. A grin swept across his face. "I bet Claire's one of those people" he teased after a moment. Charlie laughed, blushing at the accusazation. "Dude, she really likes you. You're a lucky guy" he elaborated. Charlie's face was red. "You think?" he asked, happy with the subject. "Yeah dude, you should go for it" Hurly suggested. Charlie laughed again. The fire crackled. Before long every one headed off to bed. Charlie moved off the tire down on a plot of sand infront of it and fell asleep.

he awoke to some one standing over him. it was broad daylight and bright as hell. He was In the shadow of Kate, who was reaching over him. He squinted up at her, his eyes hurt by the sun. "oh, sorry. Did I wake you?" she asked, he realized she was setting up some sort of cloths line. "The girls did some laundry" she explained as she pinned up a shirt. He nodded and sat up. "They're still going if you want to try an toss yours in" she suggested, indicating to a little plot close by the water where Rose, Shannon, Sun, Claire, the baby and a few other girls sat in a circle around a tub of water, doing the laundry. "Yeah. Probably should" he agreed, pulling at the bottom of his shirt, witch was very dirty. Especially after his nights rest in the sand. She laughed and continued to pin up the close. Claire spotted him as he arched and meet him half way. She had changed from her usual black tank top and skirt. She was now wearing a brown tank that seemed to fit better and a pair of geans, witch were rolled up at the caves. No shoes. However, she was keeping that little tan fisher hat she had found. "Hey, hows it going?" he asked grinning as she stopped infront of him. . "Good. Sorry I lost you last nigh." she apologized, wrinkling her nose. The baby rested on her hip. "Its alright." he shrugged, placing a hand in his pocket. "Wow, they're rely going crazy with this laundry business" he noted, glancing around the island witch was darted with close lines. "Yeah, I know." she agreed. "I guess they want to make sure every things really clean, hygiene being the new goal and all." she joked. "They obviously haven't gotten to you yet" she then teased, looking him up and down. "Nope, not yet" he agreed. "Well here, go change. We'll get that mess fixed" she suggested, indicating a pile of cloths that had ben lied across the suitcases. "They haven't really been sorted out yet. So take your pick, I'm sure something bound to be yours any way" she explained. "Claire" Shannon called from the circle around the tub of water. "Coming!" Claire called back. "Good luck" she said, flashing him a grin before she headed back to her post. He watched her walk back, then stop and turn around. "Maybe you should shave a little while your at it" she teased, then continued walking. He scanned through the long line of cloths. Nothing appeared to be his. He managed to find a pare of geans that looked like they'd fit, but none of the shirts really worked. He settled for a white button up, all the others being over sized t shirts and women's tanks. He hurried of to one of the empty tents to go change. He felt very uncomfortable wearing some one else cloths, exspeicaly since they didn't fit. Both the shirt and the geans were to big. He had shaved, like Claire suggested, with one of the hunting knifes. It wasn't a very good job because, well, it was done with a hunting knife. But it was good enough for now. He was more worried about the cloths. But atleast they were clean, he thought as he head back to the laundry circle with his dirty geans and striped shirt in hand. "Here you go" he said to Claire, holding out the cloths. All the girls looked up at him. "Well, don't you clean up nice" Rose teased. He smiled, embarrassed as Claire took the cloths from his hands. He had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to make it fit better, but it still felt weird. He had misplaced his jacket an his shoes. "We'll I guess I'll leave you girls alone" he suggested, feeling awkward just standing there. "Your welcome to help if you like" Rose suggested. "Yeah, if he can help so can you" Shannon added, indicating Claire son, who wasn't really helping. "Alright" he agreed, plopping down next to Claire. Most guys would probably feel awkward being with a bunch of women, but he didn't mind. In high school all his friends were girls. And plush, he got to spend time with Claire, witch seemed to be his only motivation for doing anything on this god forsaken island. Kate walked over to join them, a huge box filled with cloths in her arms. "Brought another batch" she announced, sitting down with the rest of the circle. They began unloading the box quietly. Women were normally more chatty than this, he thought as he helped them unload the cloths. "You wouldn't believe some of the smut people bring on these plains" Kate laughed, holding up a very see-through lace top. "Oh, that's mine" Shannon blurted out before realizing what shed just said. She giggled, embarrassed, along with the rest of them. "Well" Kate teased, handing her the top. "Atleast you can find cloths that fit. I had to steal this from Kate" Claire said, indicating the brown tank, that was a bit small. "Well I don't plain on wearing this, on the island. My brother would kill me" Shannon replied, indicating the shirt. "And exactly where were you going to wear it to?" Kate questioned. "None of your business" Shannon grinned back. "Well right now I'd kill for a hair brush" Claire exclaimed to the general audience, lifting a piece of her messy hair. "Oh I have one in my bag" Shannon explained. "Really? I've been looking all over for one!" Claire replied with relief. "I'm more worried about when that time of the months pops up" Kate announced, before realizing there was a man amongst them. "Sorry" she muttered, embarrassed for blurting it out. "Oh trust me, used to it" he replied, not at all fazed by the remark. "Oh?" she question sarcastically. "I'm sure Charlie spends a lot of time with women" Shannon accused, also being sarcastic. "Well, I am in a band" he shrugged, jokenly. Claire was blushing beside him. "I think I'm done here. I'll go hang these up" Claire suggested, lifting up a pile of wt cloths they had placed on a towel. "I'll help" Charlie suggested, sounding more desperate than he'd meant to. She nodded and lifted up half the pile. "Will you guys watch him for a little while?" she asked, indicating the baby, who was crawling on a towel. "Sure" Kate responded. He grabbed the other half and they headed off to one of the empty cloths lines. "You do look nice" she complemented, pinning up the first shirt on her pile. "Are you kidding?" he asked, rasing an eye brow. "At least your clean now" she teased, indicating the once dirty shirt he had been wearing. "I'll be happy when I'm back in my own cloths" he replied, once again sighing at the starchy white shirt. They stood silently for a moment, hanging the cloths. He didn't want them to be awkward. Yes, they had kissed. And he had rather enjoyed it. He had hoped it would bring them closer together. but they had only been standing together for a minuet and he had already run out of things to say. "Have you eaten?" she asked suddenly. He notices how she was stareing at his stomach with a look of worrier. "What?" he asked, some what confused by her sudden entreat in his stomach. "You haven't eaten since...three days!" she did the math in her head, her eyes met his. He thought for a moment. She was right. "Why didn't you get food last night?" she asked, her voice sounded angry. Not mad, but angry. The kind of angry your mum would have when you did something dangerous. "Don't know" he shrugged, not knowing what else to say. She stared at him for a moment, sadly. He didn't want to see her sad. but what was he suppose to say? I'm not eating because I'm still going through withdraws and I'll probably throw up? But that look in her eyes hurt him, badly. "I think if I eat I might get sick" he replied, with a smile, trying to calm the sitituaton. "Your gonna get sick if you don't" she replied. She had a good point. "Alright then, wheres the food?" he asked, looking around the island. She shook her head, sadly. His smile faded. "Claire?" he whispered , trying to force her to look him in the eye. "You can't keep doing this" she sobbed, refusing to meet his eye. Seeing her cry hit him hard. God damn it Charlie, look what your doing to her? "What do you mean?" he asked, softly. Not really understanding why she was so upset. She sniffed again, holding her hand up to her mouth for a second. "I almost watched you die yesterday, Charlie. Do you know what that feels like? Waking up to find out your missing, and god knows what happened to you!" her voice cracked. He wanted to hug her. Do something to make it better. How could he have done this to her? Let her get attached to someone like him, knowing she'd have to see him like this. "Your right. You shouldn't have to go through that. And I'm an idiot for not taking care of myself" he replied. She was right, completely right. "but I will, I promise. Please don't hate me" the last part he hadn't meant to say. It just came out. "I don't hate you, Charlie" she replied, still not looking at him. "Then why haven't you spoken to me since last night? You haven't even smiled" he began. He was digging himself deeper into this than he had hoped "what are you talking about?"she asked, her head down. "You won't even look at me!" he continued. "Charlie" she began to explain herself. He wasn't finished. "I never meant to get into this with you, but I couldn't stop myself. Your not like any one I've ever meet before, Claire. And I tried to tell myself to leave you alone, because I knew you'd neverwant some burnt out druggie like me. But I couldn't help it. I'm trying to stop, and I have changed.I changed for you. Please don't hate me for it" he was now rambling. He looked at her and her eyes had finly meet his. And the look gave him chills. "Charlie, I felt the same way. But I should have stopped myself."she began to explain. He had no clue what she was talking about. "Why did you do it? Knowing I was pregnet? Knowing I was already involved with some one before we hit this island? Why were you nice to me? Why didn't you ignore me like every body else?" she covered her face. She was with someone else. Some where, another man was worrying if she was alright. Hoping to god she was still alive. An he loved her. He was a good man.

And Charlie was nothing. Any love for Claire had to end right now. He wasn't about to steel her from the father of her child. "I'm sorry." was all he could say before he turned and walked away from her. He wouldn't look back at her to save his life. It was all for nothing. The time he'd spent with her, the time he'd wasted thinking about her. Dreaming about her. The withdraws. All for nothing. You're a true fool, Charlie Pace. He told himself as he walked away from her. He lead himself back to the tent and plopped down on the pile of luggage that had served for his bed a night ago. Leaning his head back agenst a heavy suitcase, he sighed. Trying to calm himself. Trying to clear his thoughts. To do anything and everything to keep from crying. What made you think she'd ever want you? People look at you and see a druggie. A burnt out, washed up druggie with a dark past and no future. You think that one night of redemption is going to pay for all that? he tore at himself, eyes squeezed tightly shut. His hands were shacking again. He couldn't tell if it was from his anger or if it was just another withdraw coming back. What did it matter? He had never thought of quitting before Claire, and he wasn't about to go insane for a girl who wanted nothing to do with him. Just as the thought had entered his mind, his eyes opened and immediately fell upon the tiny plastic bag casually resting on a piece of luggage across the room. Still a quarter full, he thought. He could tell how much was there just by looking at it. The temptation wouldn't have nearly been so bad if his mind wasn't completely overloaded. His thoughts seemed to dark around aimlessly, like when a car speeds by you on a belt way, and all you here is the screech of a horn. His temples throbbed with every to thought that forced itself into its skull. He couldn't take it any longer. He felt as though he might explode if he wasted on more second on this self- pitying crap. Tapping his fingers on the side of his thigh, eyes dark, dangerously focused on the tiny plastic baggy that lay before him, her realized that could easily be fixed.