Between A Rock and… Another Big Rock
By Didi
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Paramount and blah, blah, blah…
Rating: PG 13 for now.
Story Summary: The crew goes hunting underground.
Chapter Summary: Trip tries to get Hoshi to sleep. A discussion takes place with unnerving results. And Hayes deals with Hoshi's nightmare.
Timeline: Set before the episode "Azati Prime" in Season 3.
Author's Note: Just saw Steven Culp on "Desperate Housewives" this week. He was fantastic as usual. I really wish they could find a way to bring him back to Enterprise, I loved Major Hayes.
Spoiler: Everything up through "The Hatchery." (I'm being nicely cautious here.)
Key: "Spoken" "Thoughts"
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Chapter Eight – Residual Effects
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Trip Tucker blinked the sleep from his eyes as he watched Hoshi bend over her PADD, mapping out their route tomorrow. It was going to be a dangerous and rather complicated path, bypassing some larger gathering holes that may house some natives and even Reptilians, which left them winding their way down the tunnels toward the outer edges of this subterranean warren. Hayes and Reed had left them some time ago to begin the night watch as the others sleep. Hoshi had insisted (actually it was more of a demand) on completing her task so they could move swiftly without all the stop-and-go they had to endure today.
"Hoshi, go to sleep."
"In a minute," was the same reply she'd given him for the last twenty minutes.
"Hoshi…"
"In. A. Minute." She glared at him and then went back to work. For such a tiny little thing, she was scary at times.
With a sigh of resignation, Trip adjusted the cloak around his shoulders and leaned back on the rocks to wait her out. He would love to sleep but was unwilling to do so until she did. Hoshi was surprisingly alert at the moment. Apparently something in her thinking process gave her more energy than common sense. "Are you going to sleep anytime tonight?"
"What is with you and this whole sleep thing?" Hoshi asked, annoyed at being interrupted again. It was taking most of her concentration just to see straight. The cold, the headache, the fear, the need to jump up and start screaming like a madwoman were all beginning to collapse in on her. What she would give for a ray of sunshine and her bunny slippers.
"'Cause you look like you could use some of it." He pulled the PADD from her hand in an unceremonious gesture and tossed it into his bag, giving her a singularly stern look when she attempted to take it back. "Go to sleep, Hoshi Sato, or I'm telling the captain on you."
He said it in such a 'ha, I got you' tone that she stared for one disbelieving moment before her lips twitched. "Why are you so concerned about whether or not I sleep?"
"'Cause ah don't plan on carrying you when you're too tired to walk tomorrow." He reached over and pulled her close, cushioning her fall with his arm. Arranging her cloak around her like a blanket, Trip smoothed out a few flyaway hairs from where they had tumbled around her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. "Now sleep," he ordered, patting her lightly on the shoulder.
Wiggling closer, Hoshi gratefully accepted the warmth of his body to ward off the chill. "Am I sleeping with you tonight?" she asked impishly, unable to resist.
"Yep, and keeping me warm." He settled back the best he could with his lumpy pack against the base of his spine. It was going to be an uncomfortable night. "Now simmer down and go to sleep."
"You know someone's going to start a rumor over this," she told him with a grin and wonder briefly what a certain sub-commander would say about it. Contrary to what T'Pol would believe, the rest of the ship did know about her preference toward the charming chief engineer.
Trip made a dismissive noise. "They're going to talk worse if I ask Malcolm to keep me warm tonight. It's freezing in here."
Hoshi turned her head into Trip's side to muffle her laughter.
-&-&-&-
"Are they very close?" Major Hayes asked quietly, listening above the snoring of Jamison and DeMarco. When they got back to the ship, he was going to have to talk to those two about fixing that audio problem. The enemy could probably hear them from a mile away.
"Who?" Lt. Reed asked, his eyes never leaving his side of the exit.
"Commander Tucker and Ensign Sato."
"What are you…" Confusion clouded the Englishman's face until he glanced over to see the two snuggled together. Something tugged uncomfortably at him for a moment and he looked away. "I do believe the commander has mentioned their friendship prior to their assignment on Enterprise."
"The captain mentioned that they were friends."
"Hoshi is friends to everyone and anyone," Reed replied with a sigh. "She's too trusting by far and not always wise about it either."
There was a note in the lieutenant's voice that caught Matt's attention. "Are we talking about that alien with the telepathy?"
For a moment, Malcolm considered not sharing but his relationship with Hayes had progressed somewhat since their rather physical 'discussion' and Malcolm found that he had a kindred spirit on board now – or at least someone that actually paid attention to security protocols of the ship. So his response was a solemn nod.
"Not one of our finer moments, was it?" Matt asked with a regretful smile and eyes that revealed his understanding.
"Not one of my finer moments," Malcolm corrected with some annoyance. "You had nothing to do with it."
Matt shook his head slowly. "It was all over the ship." And it had been; everyone had been talking about the alien that made contact through Ensign Sato in a most unconventional way. Hayes had been deeply troubled by it upon further investigation – done quietly through the grapevine of course. "I should have said something when I had the chance." He smiled, remembering the commander's earlier comment. "Though how either one of us was going to dissuade Ensign Sato from making contact was beyond me."
Malcolm gave a reluctant chuckle. "She's a force to be contended with when she sets her mind to something."
"You like that though," Matt observed, "Her will power."
Malcolm paused, glancing over at the sleeping figure. She was something to look at…all soft, quiet and at peace. "I admire her a great deal."
"You're not the only one," Matt replied, not the least bit willing to elaborate upon that.
And, quite frankly, Malcolm wasn't sure he wanted the major to do so.
"But she's got some serious insecurities," Matt continued after a pause that was decidedly thick with irresolvable tensions. If either of them questioned the appropriateness of the conversation, neither one voiced it.
"I suppose I didn't help that any by doubting her when she said she was hearing things." Malcolm still kicked himself at times for not listening to her, for not talking her out of going to see Tarquin, for leaving her alone with that monster, for putting her in danger.
"It would have been difficult for anyone to believe," the major pointed out kindly. "Besides which, I've noticed the ensign is rather skittish at times."
"Hoshi is a lot stronger than you're giving her credit for."
"I know she is," Matt assured him with a nod. "Most of what this crew goes through would break a weaker soul."
Leaning back, the lieutenant studied the MACO commander for a moment. Matt Hayes wasn't usually such a difficult person to read, possibly because most of the time he was so focused upon his job there wasn't anything outside of it to read. But Malcolm had plenty of experience in observing people. Like knowing when someone was a friend or foe. "Oh bloody hell, so I allowed a bit of my own insecurities to cloud my judgment for a while." He made a face remembering the dressing down from the captain. But he wasn't mistaken in the fact that Major Hayes was hiding something. "You appear awfully interested in Ensign Sato suddenly," he observed quietly.
"I take my job seriously," Matt answered, unwittingly glancing in the wrong direction.
Malcolm swallowed that uncomfortably. "Is that it?"
"Yes, sir," was the ready reply spoken more out of habit than thought.
Deciding not to call the major on the sudden reversion to titles, Malcolm continued to probe. "And if I were to inform you that it would appear otherwise?"
"Then I would have to inform you that you are mistaken."
"Are you certain?" the lieutenant persisted, not really wanting an answer to the question simply because any given would not satisfy.
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes." Matt was letting his annoyance show now but the hesitation was still obvious.
Lapsing into silence, Malcolm decided that he didn't believe him.
And Hayes decided he didn't believe himself either.
-&-&-&-
It was cold, frightfully so.
"Hoshi."
She turned around.
"Hoshi."
She turned again.
"I'm waiting."
"Go away," she whispered to the near darkness of the unfamiliar place and time. "Just leave me alone," her lips moved but she wasn't sure her voice emitted sound. The air seemed to have turned icy…or perhaps it was simply her fears.
"You are alone. You are always alone. You will always be alone."
"No, that's not true!" She took a breath, determined to calm her pounding her heart before it leapt from her throat. "I've got friends, I've got family. I am not alone."
"Always alone."
She pressed her fists to her ears, trying to drown out the voice that haunted her.
"Come to me."
"No."
"Come to me."
"No." Hoshi felt her voice breaking.
"Come…"
NO!
Just managing to stifle the scream of terror, Hoshi bolted from where she had been resting against Cdr. Tucker, her elbow and knees ramming into flesh.
"What the…" but Trip didn't have time to finish the rest of his expletive of groggy surprise before a precisely placed knee left him gasping for air. Was it painful? Oh, most definitely.
"Get away!" she gasped out as she escaped through the entrance of the cave, right past the stupefied Hayes and Reed. "Just stay away from me!"
"Commander?" Reed asked as he made an unsuccessful attempt to grab the ensign's arm just as she disappeared around the corner. She moved like a fleeing rabbit.
Besides the fact that Matt suspected Hoshi was disorientated and frightened, she was also their only live map out of this maze. "Ensign!" Without thought, he grabbed his rifle and plunged into the darkness after her.
"Trip, are you alright?" Malcolm asked, even as he wished to hell he could run after Hoshi. He'd seen the look on her face, saw the stark terror there but Trip was doubled over in agony.
Trip gasped another breath, trying to find his voice even as he watched Major Hayes dash out after Hoshi. It took him two tries to make limited words. "Don't… happened… she's… nightmare."
Malcolm helped the commander to his feet, glancing at the empty entrance with growing concern. "Bloody hell, we'll never find her out there."
By the fourth turn around a dark corner, Matt was certain he was hopelessly lost. If he didn't find Ensign Sato, he wasn't getting out of these tunnels. Stopping for a moment, he relied on his other senses to guide him through the darkness. Hurried footsteps, soft gasps of breath, a hitch in the voice… He ignored the fact that they were diving deeper into the catacombs of these unfamiliar lands and rushed after the sound.
Blinded, cold and in fear for her sanity, Hoshi stumbled over the uneven path before her. "Have to get away. I have to get away!" Beads of cold sweat rolled down her neck, sending a chill down her spine. A muffled scream erupted from Hoshi's lips as she was caught by the arm and whirled about at a speed that left her dizzy. Shoved roughly against the wall, she had half a second to orient herself before a callous hand clamped over her mouth, keeping any sound from emerging while another was pressed against her collarbone, pinning her into place on the off chance that she decided to bolt again.
"Ensign!" Hayes hissed the title as close to her face as he dared to come, hoping that the sharpness of his tone would cut through whatever it was she was experiencing. The dark made it impossible to see anything and he needed room to maneuver if the ensign suddenly remembered any of her self-defense lessons. "Get a grip, Sato; it's Major Hayes. "
Her hands came up to clamp themselves around Hayes' arm, her nails digging into the warm fabric. The voice, the same one that called out instructions to her with the tone that carried authority and experience, cut through the panic. She stopped struggling.
Carefully, Matt eased the pressure off her mouth, feeling her lips move against the palm of his hand. Afraid she might take a bite out of him, he didn't remove it completely. "Are you calm yet?"
She nodded her head slowly, knees weak with relief at a familiar voice. The timber was correct, the tone, the tempo, the slight Northern Philadelphia accent, they all belonged to Major Hayes, no disguising that. No one can pull a perfect guise, not even Tarquin.
Taking his hand off her mouth, Matt reached back and pulled a small light cell from his hip. Pointing it away from their faces, he flicked the safety valve with his thumb; illuminating the small area around them just enough to see her badly frightened face. He took his other hand off of her and she slid to the ground. Ignoring her for the moment, Hayes made an immediate evaluation of the area. Safety first, comfort last. Sight, sound and feel; nothing seemed to disturb the quiet of where they were.
When he was assured they weren't going to be attacked from the dark, Hayes crouched down next to the ensign, never giving the darkness his back. Studying her pale face in the limited light, he had to bite back the angry dress-down he would normally give one of his own. That was not going to help at all. At this very moment, Ensign Sato looked like a lost little girl. "Are you all right?"
There was a thundering in her throat that made it impossible for her to speak. Every hair on her body was on end, her nerves so close to breaking she could literally hear the strain. Her mind wandered over all the possibilities that were impossible and then back again. Her eyes darted around in the darkness… searching.
He didn't need to be a doctor, or a counselor, or even a friend to see what was happening to her. With one hand carefully on his weapon, he reached up with the other and took her chin, forcing her attention back to him. Her eyes were like endless pools of vulnerable softness. Matt didn't doubt that's what people saw in her, this wonderful softness that one craves to be close to. He cursed the man that had trapped this brilliant woman into a nightmare that obviously wouldn't cease haunting her.
"He's not here." Hayes gave her a tiny shake on the chin. "He's not here." He repeated the words carefully, watching each one sink in.
Hoshi's mom once told her that to see the truth you had to look at the eyes of the speaker. She watched those eyes, chocolate brown and resolved. Her heart calmed.
"He will not get you," he told her. "Not while I'm around."
She wanted to believe him, really wanted to believe him. It would be so nice just to be able to rely on someone else again. "You can't protect me from where he goes."
"He's not going there again."
"You don't know that."
"I do know that." He released her chin slowly, keeping his eyes on hers. "I know that Captain Archer will never allow him to hurt you again. And if that means we blow his compound to kingdom come, than that's what is going to happen if he even thinks about touching you again, mental or otherwise."
She leaned closer and whispered her question. "How do you know?"
He didn't lie. "Because that's what I would do."
For a moment, she simply sat there wondering what he was about. Major Hayes didn't even know her, why would he want to protect her… other than it being his job and all.
"What's one life compared to a planet full of people?" She was referring to Tarquin's request for her to stay with him in exchange for his continued help with the Xindis. Hoshi sometimes still wondered if she made the right choice. "Wouldn't it have been worth it for more information on where and how to defeat the Xindis?"
Baffled by the question that even he knew the answer to, he stared at her. Was she really that insecure and naïve? "It is a life. We don't trade one life for another, yours, mine, others… it is still life."
It made perfect sense… really it did. But Hoshi was having some trouble seeing it; and it hurt to think about it. Instead, she looked around her in the dark. "Are we lost?"
"Are we?" Hayes asked quietly, sensing that she was attempting to find her way back into reality.
She stared at the wall, noting small figures etched there. "No, I don't think so."
"Good," he replied, standing slowly and offering a hand to her. "Ensign Sato…"
"Hoshi," she corrected automatically as she edged slowly up the wall.
"Hoshi," he continued, saying the name carefully and reminding himself that proper decorum was a necessity so he'd better not get used to addressing her as such. But for now, she seemed to need the familiarity. "You said in your report that Tarquin's ability only limits him to…"
Her head snapped around. "You read my report?"
"I read all the reports," Matt answered matter-of-factly.
"Oh." Hoshi wasn't quite sure what to make of a man that paranoid… or dedicated, whichever side of the coin you looked at.
"Tarquin can't get you here, not mentally or physically. You have to know that."
"I do know that."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." She gave a quick laugh, finally feeling the embarrassment of the situation. She did not want him thinking that she was unreliable. "I'm sorry. I guess I was just dreaming that…"
But Hayes wasn't buying it. "This isn't the first time, is it?" he questioned softly, not really needing an answer. "You haven't been sleeping well at all."
"None of us have," she countered.
"But you especially," he pointed out, all the pieces of the puzzle that made up Hoshi Sato coming into place with soft clicks. "And after the whole Tarquin… you came back from that with more information but…" He remembered someone commenting on that fact that Sato didn't get any counseling afterwards because they were in such a hurry to advance their mission to stop the Xindis. "What price did you have to pay for it?" he couldn't help but wonder. "When was the last time you slept? And I mean really slept."
She was quiet. "I'm okay."
"You're not." He wasn't going to put up with lies; not when it was important. "When, Hoshi? When did you last sleep without nightmares? Without being afraid?"
If she had the energy to hit him, she would have. If there was one thing she hated, it was being pushed. "I don't know how to get past this."
Matt wished to hell he could give her answers. "I don't either."
She wasn't expecting that; Mister Tough-Major admitting to a weakness. Hoshi laughed, it was a soft chuckle but it was still a laugh nevertheless. "Well, at least you're honest."
"I try to always be."
"Boy Scout?"
"Military household."
She smiled, imagining a sober little boy quietly coloring on a play table with his father watching on the side. It must have been nice growing up in a normal home. "This way," tilting her head toward the right.
"Are you all right?" He questioned after a long silence.
"Not really."
"But?"
"But I'll get there. And I'll deal with the nightmares."
"Would help if you talked to someone about it," he advised.
"You volunteering?" she asked only half mockingly.
A bit startled, Hayes faltered for a moment. "Well, I…"
"I'm teasing," she assured him as she took another turn with a quick glance at the wall.
"But if you need…"
She stopped and turned to look at him. "No offense, Major. But you're not exactly the comforting type when it comes to confessionals. And I highly doubt you have any idea what it feels like to be violated." And with that, she continued to lead the way back to camp.
Hayes felt as if he'd just been punched in the gut.
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Teaser Line from Next Chapter: "Yeah but you haven't actually seen them in their birthday suits. Imagining it is one thing, seeing it is another."