Chapter 1: Pain and Hope

Sasuke didn't know what to feel. It was strange. It had been so long since he had felt anything other than self-hatred and fury at his brother. When his parents had been slaughtered, he thought he had lost everything and that there would be nothing more to lose.

So… why does it hurt so much?

Looking at Sakura's face as it slept but didn't really sleep, and knowing that she would never wake again, he somehow knew the answer.

"Sakura-chan…" Naruto's voice mourned. With sore, red eyes and an expression brimming with tears, he looked as if he had been drained of happiness.

Clenching his fists, Sasuke turned. "You…" he said, in a low voice that was shaking with anger he didn't quite understand.

"You were supposed to protect her!" he accused in a rage that he couldn't have explained, grabbing the other boy by the shoulders and shaking him furiously. Anything was better than what he was currently feeling and Sasuke relished the violence, getting in a few good punches before Kakashi pulled him away.

Naruto stumbled back, bruises already showing on his left eye. But although his teeth had clenched at the outburst, he had received the blows with no resistance.

"Enough," their sensei said sharply, grabbing his hand before more damage could be inflicted, "It was noone's fault, Sasuke."

"You're wrong. It is someone's fault," he retorted harshly, wrenching himself away.

"And why's that?"

Sasuke turned away, unable to tolerate the question. With a hopeless punch, he took out his fury on the nearby wall and cursed. He didn't know the answer to that, was too upset to even care about the answer. But at the same time, he hated himself for not knowing. He cursed again. The emotion that was gnawing at him was the same as what he had experienced years ago when he first saw his dead parents lying motionlessly on the ground in their own blood.

"Because good people like Sakura-chan don't deserve to be murdered," Naruto said finally, hollowly, "It's my fault. I was there… Sasuke's right… I didn't protect her… I let some bastard hurt her… I was too slow..."

You're always too slow, Sasuke thought bitterly. But the pain on the other's face stopped him from inflicting such cruelty out loud.

"Thinking like that will get you nowhere. Regretting the past is pointless."

Sasuke flinched at the casual, calm tone. Some teacher Kakashi was. All that crap about teamwork and caring for your teammates and now that one of his students was dead at his feet, he had already moved on without sparing any time to grieve.

"Don't you even care!?" Naruto echoed his sentiments, looking ready to tackle the man, "How can you be so cold when Sakura-chan is dead!?"

This time, it was Naruto's words that caused him to flinch. Sasuke looked at her face again, lost in its blissful dream, and hastily closed his eyes before he showed something he didn't want to show.

"Don't touch her, you bastard!!"

Naruto's voice, heated and shrieking, jolted his eyes open again. He turned to see Kakashi kneeling by Sakura's lifeless form and felt Naruto's reckless chakra, filled with wrath and rising. The blonde looked ready to tear his former sensei to pieces.

It was Tsunade who held him back.

…Or rather, who knocked him out. With a careful blow, the Fifth Hokage sent Konoha's most hyperactive ninja flying across the room.

"Calm down, you idiot."

"He's just emotional," Kakashi spoke up.

"Tch. Too emotional for his own good sometimes," she replied and being unconscious, the subject of their conversation was unable to defend himself.

Kakashi said, light with concern, "Will he be alright? You hit him pretty hard and he already had wounds to begin with."

Sasuke turned to Naruto's fallen form, wondering with faint disbelief how he could've missed seeing the injuries. In addition to the bruises he had just received, Naruto wore a sling and a crimson-stained bandage was wrapped securely around his head; his orange clothes possessed unbecoming splotches of red.

"Don't worry. He'll be alright. He's a strong boy, after all."

But Sasuke was already regretting his earlier reaction. Naruto had obviously done his best. Up to this point, he had never let anyone down. He had never let her down. Unlike himself. With some frustration, Sasuke recognized that his anger was being directed internally, as it had always been and usually was. There was no escape. Once again, just as when he had been so easily defeated by his brother, he felt like a failure. This time, though, it was a hundred times worse because it was not himself he had let down but others.

Some teammate you are… One's hurt and the other's…

He couldn't finish the thought. Abruptly, a question rose to the top of his mind. Would things have turned out differently if he had gone with them? If he hadn't been so focused on his damn revenge and killing Itachi, would she still be…

"…He's bleeding, though."

"For Heavens' sake, Kakashi, I only dealt him a whack on his hard head! He'll heal! I'm more concerned with Sakura-chan right now!" the Fifth Hokage said crossly. She leaned over the body, pressing her ear to the heart, muttering, "That boy must have been on crack when he said that you didn't care. Any idiot can tell that you've been trying to reach her with your chakra."

Sasuke felt his throat go dry when he realized she was right. Through Sharingan eyes, he saw Sakura's still body outlined with the dim glow of strong chakra, something else he hadn't noticed before.

"She's… alive?"

Only when the piercing, wise eyes had turned to him, did Sasuke realize he had spoken aloud without thinking.

"No."

His red eyes faded back to black. Whatever spark had been lit died as quickly as it had came and he was numb from its disappearance.

"…At least, not her body. But her soul's still around here somewhere, thanks to Kakashi. And that's enough. People aren't truly dead until their souls have left their body and gone to…"

She paused, uncertain.

"…wherever they go," Kakashi finished.

"That's a roundabout way of putting it," she said wryly, "But it works, I suppose."

Part of him wanted to tell them to cut the ambiguity and tell him straight out what was going on. But another part could tell by the solemn expressions on their faces that their knowledge of the afterlife was just as lacking as his own. After all, who knew where a person went after death. Certainly, noone alive could tell them…

But if she isn't really gone…

He said slowly, guarding himself in case it was just another pointless hope, "So there's still a chance."

"Yes. She's out there somewhere," Tsunade repeated, "Wandering. Lost, maybe. I'm not sure. The soul isn't just one piece of a person, you know. It's made up in fragments, bits and pieces. Usually, it takes a while for all of them to leave. A couple of days. Fortunately for Sakura-chan, most of them are still here, held by Kakashi's chakra. But others…"

Her voice trailed off and when she spoke again, it was low and secretive, "There's a forbidden jutsu that separates part of a person's soul from the body. As Hokage, I'm not allowed to practice it. Funny, neh?" Sasuke wondered what she meant by that. Her laugh was sarcastic but short-lived before a certain understanding took over her face, "But I know the pain that Naruto will suffer once he wakes up and she's gone. The pain you're going through right now, Sasuke."

For once, he didn't bother to deny that he was anything other than emotionless.

"So I'll do it, just this once." The last traces of wistfulness melted away and rolling up her sleeves, she suddenly became business-like, "Now what we'll need first is someone willing to go out and search for her, collect whatever missing fragments there are and bring them back here. It's going to be dangerous so an experienced ninja would be preferred. Someone stupid and reckless would be even better. Maybe Anko…"

"I'll go."

She pursed her lips together in a satisfied smile. He had spoken without hesitation.