Peyton watched as Jake signed his name to the book. He took a deep breath and looked at her.
"You ready?" she asked quietly.
"I can't believe this", he shook his head. "It's not right, Pey. Just yesterday we were shooting hoops together at the Rivercourt."
"Mom, Dad…I don't want to go", Jenny protested. "I'm scared."
Jake nodded for Peyton to go as he ushered Jenny outside in an attempt to calm her. The large room was filled with people, some faces she didn't know and some familiar from Tree Hill.
"Peyton…"
Peyton turned and saw Haley, the two women hugging each other as Haley cried softly into a tissue.
"You made it. Brooke will be glad to see you."
"Haley, I still can't believe this. I…I can't believe he's really gone."
The two women stared at the coffin at the front of the room.
"God, he looks like he's just sleeping", Peyton whispered.
"No", Haley shook her head. "I've never seen him so still. And look at his face. He doesn't look peaceful. He looks scared and unhappy and…"
"Haley, don't do this to yourself", Peyton whispered as Haley dissolved into tears.
"Just look at him, Pey. He's upset because it wasn't his time to go and he doesn't understand why…"
Breaking down again, she fled the room leaving Peyton beside the coffin. Wearing a black suit with his head hung, Nathan appeared behind her. They gave each other a lingering hug.
"Nate…I don't know what to say. God, I am so sorry."
"I can't believe he's gone", Nathan shook his head. "It's not right. He's so young. He had so much to live for. Now I have three little kids to look after, my own and now Harmony."
"How could this have happened?"
"I begged him to take the test. All he had to do was just take the test…"
The side door to the room opened and in came Karen and Keith. Karen took one look at the coffin and her son lying in it and began to wail. Her scream was shrill, pain stricken and unforgettable. Only the sound from a mother who had just lost her young. Peyton closed her eyes and bit her lip. She likely would never forget the sound of that scream.
"Hey Shoulders…"
"Gordon", Peyton managed a weak smile. "You holding up?"
"Trying, I guess. Just trying to make sense out of all this."
"It doesn't make sense", Peyton muttered.
"The Lord works in mysterious ways…"
Peyton didn't want to hear about the Lord or His ways. And screw that "being in a better place" crap. She had heard that song and dance before when her own mother had passed years ago. She didn't buy it at age nine and she sure as hell wasn't buying it 26.
"How is Brooke?"
"Trying to be strong", Gordon shrugged. "This is hard on her though. She puts up a brave front around people but behind the scenes…well, I heard her sobbing last night in her room. Wish there was something I could do to help but there isn't. What could we possibly say to ease the pain and the sorrow and the guilt in that poor girl's heart? I keep telling her that it's not her fault but I don't think she listens. Keeps going on and on about how her life is over and now she gets to spend the rest of it waiting for it to really be over. She really loved him."
"And he loved her. They were meant to be."
"Life is short and sometimes you don't get that second chance. Whoo child. The sadness is getting to me. I'm gonna step outside for a minute."
Peyton nodded as she just stared at the casket. She couldn't make her feet move. She couldn't leave him. They'd always been friends and shared a tight bond. He was a good listener and a good friend and he cared about people. He had seen her through many a tough day. Now he was gone. At the tender age of 26, his life, so full of hope and promise, was simply over.
A small crowd had formed by the back and from the corner of her eye, Peyton could tell it was Brooke. She was elegantly dressed in black but she looked like a little girl, not the widow she was.
"Oh Brooke", Peyton said as they embraced. "Sweetie, I am so very sorry…"
"Thank you", Brooke nodded.
"You okay? You look tired. I'm worried about you…we all are. Why don't we sit down?"
"I know", she sighed. "I really appreciate that. You and everyone have been so kind to me but I'm okay. I don't need to sit down, though. Everyone has been trying to get me to rest and have the doctor give me a sedative and everything else you can imagine since this happened. But I don't need any of that, Pey. What I needed was to plan this funeral so my husband could have the dignified, honorable service that he deserves. I did that now all I need to do is be by his side for the final time."
Brooke felt like she was trapped in a bad movie. The scene didn't seem real, none of it did. For the first time she felt like she might lose in front of everyone. It was all she could do to keep it together but it was hard. It was unfair that she would have to bury her husband. Lucas was gone…and never coming back. The reality finally began to sink in. Gallantly she attempted to stay strong but the weakness forming in her knees kept getting in the way. As she felt her legs give from under her, it was Peyton's comforting and supportive arms that were there to catch her.
"Peyton, I feel so empty inside."
Peyton held her a little tighter as Brooke was finally steady enough to approach the coffin. Brooke knelt beside him, tears spilling down her cheeks. Opening a small handkerchief, she took out to ring she had been holding since she had found it on the floor beside him. The ring she had clutched as she desperately called 911. A phone call that came too late.
Trembling, she placed the wedding band back on his finger. His skin was ice cold to the touch, the ring almost impossible to fit in his post mortem state. But she had to get it on him. That ring and their love would accompany him through eternity.
"I love you", she whispered one final time as she kissed his lips.
A tear from her eye fell on his cheek and she couldn't bring herself to wipe it away. It looked like he was crying. That tear was just one more piece of her that he would have forever.
"Brooke, come on…"
"I can't", she began to sob. "I can't let go."
"Sweetie…"
"You don't understand. This is all my fault."
"Damn right it is."
They looked up to see the menacing unmistakable voice and face of Dan Scott.
"Are you satisfied, Brooke? All that talk about me hurting Lucas…well, you finally got him in the end, huh?"
"Dan, Lucas died from a heart condition. A genetic heart condition he inherited from you", Peyton reminded everyone.
"My so called inherited heart condition just put the boy out of his misery. This little cunt right here killed him a long time ago when she broke his heart."
Brooke broke down, crying so hard she could barely stand.
"You did this, Brooke. It's all you. You killed him, you little bitch. You killed him slowly everyday for a year and a half."
Brooke looked around at all the faces who had to be thinking the same thing only her father in law had the guts to say. Dan was right. She had killed Lucas. She was a widow and her child didn't have a father. And it was all her fault…
Brooke awoke with a jolt. Cold sweat dripped down her body. Her eyes frantically searched the room for mourners and a coffin. Instead she only saw the hospital bed and the I.V.'s and various other tubes and machines he was hooked up to. It had been a bad dream, at least the part about the funeral. She wished it all had been a nightmare but it wasn't. The part about finding him barely breathing on the floor of their loft had been very real and very scary. Panicked, she had called 911 immediately. They made it in the nick of time. Lucas Scott was unconscious but still alive…barely.