BAM…Emma appeared, as real as ever, but only in his memory…'"Sean, I have leukemia"…BAM, another flashback, again centered around Emma…"The treatments, they haven't been effective…There's nothing they can do"…BAM! Sean saw himself this time…he was in a rage…"No, no I will not just wait here for it to happen while the doctors don't do a damn thing about it!"'…Suddenly, his memory flew even farther back into his archive of horrible memories and retrieved a dark one, the thing that has haunted Sean even more than Emma's death…the one that he tried to always keep pushed into the very back corner of his mind…but while he slept, his dreams were not merciful...BAM…they came in glimpses…horrible visions…Sean saw Craig sitting on the washroom floor…BAM…Craig with the knife to his chest…BAM…Next was blood seeping from Craig's dead body…And finally Sean saw himself curled up in a quivering ball on the cold floor next to Craig.

Sean wanted to escape it. He thrashed in his seat. Sean uttered one word…"Craig…" He awoke with a start.

"Hey man," his short neighbor in seat 25K said, "you need to put your seat belt on. The captain just turned on the sign." Sean wiped the sweat off of his brow. "Yeah, thanks."

Despite the seatbelt sign, Sean got up and went into the cramped plane bathroom. He turned the deadbolt and then turned on the sink. Sean wet a paper towel and blotted it over his face to cool himself. He hated when he had those dreams. They used to come quite frequently, but had subsided over the years. The only reason that Sean could think of for the sudden occurrence was the fact that he was on a plane heading for Toronto, the very place he had always wanted and sometimes needed to escape. But he figured that like you only have one first love or one best friend, you also only have one ten-year high school reunion. Sean thought back to the dream and prayed in his mind that they would not be haunting him often now. The beginning with Emma was not always the same…but it was his distorted memory of it. But the images of Craig…those were real and as clear as the very day that Sean had witnessed them. Whenever he had the visions of Craig, it was like someone was showing him a slideshow of all the terrible moments in his life. It was a slideshow that could never be turned off.

"You need to return to your seat now, please." The stewardess knocked on the door. Sean took one last look at himself before sliding the folding door open. He sat in his cramped seat and slid the metal buckle into the holder. His eyes ached in tiredness but Sean did not dare to close his eyes again for fear of reliving another bad memory. Sean leaned back into his seat and stared at the ceiling.

Sean had not been back to Toronto since the first day he had left after high school. He was the typical student and did what a normal teen should do. In the beginning it was hard because he had just lost his best friend and girl friend in a three-month time. So once the summer was over and high school had finally started, Sean was alone. He did fall in with a bad crowd for a while. Sean did some things that at the time he thought was funny, but now are on a long list of things that he regrets. Fortunately, Sean got out of his rut but not without being shot by the leader of the gang, Jay.

Sean was rushed to the hospital and suffered from a major loss of blood. It was at that time where Sean did not care if he died. In fact, he had almost hoped to die. The way he saw it was that at least he would be with Emma and Craig. Sean lied in bed and counted the minutes he had left. This was not his preferred way to die, but it would have to do. Sean could still remember the intense surge of disappointment that he had felt when the doctors had informed him that he would be okay. Even now there were times during which Sean wished that the shot had killed him. There were several times throughout high school that he had either tried or thought about taking his own life. But every time that he came close, Sean had those same horrific flashbacks of Craig.

After Sean had gotten back on track, he showed an interest in photography. He had needed a hobby to keep his mind off of things and there was Craig's camera, still in good condition. Sean did not know at the time that just by picking up that camera he was choosing his future career. He loved to take pictures, mostly of nature and landscapes but sometimes, if he were truly inspired, he would snap a few human shots. Sean still used Craig's camera today. He believed that it symbolized the good, artistic side of Craig…the side that he wanted to remember. With every snap of the shutter and every photo developed, Sean felt that he was giving art and beauty to the community that it had been devoid of because of Craig's bad day.

There was a deeper meaning to all of his nature shots, one that was only known to him. Emma's intense passion for the environment and preserving it had made Sean appreciate the nature around him. For you see, Emma had been Sean's intense passion and she could not be preserved, she had died, just like the environment would if nobody did anything to help. His cause had been to keep Emma alive and hers had been to help save the environment as much as she could. Sean had failed his personal cause but he could fulfill hers if he tried. All of Sean's nature photos were taken while he was on the environmental crusades that he participated in, in honor of Emma.

"Please fasten your seatbelts. The captain is preparing to land." Sean braced himself for the landing but as he closed his eyes he was also preparing himself for the return to Toronto, where it had all began.

Sean walked with his bag into the main lobby. He set down his suitcase and stood awkwardly, scanning the room.

"Sean!" He turned around for the source and his eyes landed on a beautiful young woman with long flowing black hair. She smiled at him, her teeth gleaming white. It was a friend who had gone through all those terrible ordeals alongside Sean all those years ago. Manny Santos pushed her very pregnant self from her chair and walked over to Sean. He embraced her in a gentle hug, somewhat surprised by her physical state, and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey Manny…Wow you look…"

"Pregnant?" She finished his sentence for him, "Yeah, I know. I'm due in two weeks."

Sean stared at her aghast. "Well…you forgot to mention this on the phone!" he joked.

"Yeah, well I didn't want you to get the wrong idea about me and…the situation." She chose her words carefully.

"Well, Manny, my basic assumption would be that you're married…"

Manny cut him off, "See, that's what I mean. I'm not married. Divorced actually. And the father doesn't want the baby."

"Oh…I see. Manny, if you don't mind me asking, who is the father?"

"Umm…" Manny hesitated, "do you remember Sully? We went out for most of high school? Yeah, well right when we got out, he took me to Atlantic City and we got married." Sean raised his eyebrows at her. "It was an impulse thing." She replied. "Anyway, it worked for a while but he turned out to be a dead beat. Then I got pregnant and he left me." Manny said, strained.

Sean looked surprised. How could anyone leave Manny? She was so beautiful. "Well, he's an idiot who was just in it for the sex if you don't mind me saying."

Manny laughed, "No, I agree."

"So this is your first?" Sean asked her.

"Yep. A girl!" Manny answered happily. The look on her face suddenly changed. She looked close to tears.

"Manny, what's wrong?" Sean asked confusedly.

"Oh nothing. I'm just so glad that you're here, Sean!" And with that she flung her arms around his neck again. Sean held her tight this time. Sean and Manny really had become much more close during high school because they had both experienced the same great loses.

"Hey," Sean said soothingly, "I'm glad I'm here too. I wanted to see you, Manny." Manny sniffed her nose and pulled away.

"So, do you want to get something to eat? At the Dot maybe?"

"God, is that place still open?" Sean joked. "Yeah lets go. I'm starving." Sean placed his hand on Manny back and lightly pushed her from the building. Sean drove Manny's car to the Dot. Toronto had not changed much since he had last been there. He could still easily find his way around. Sean parked the car and he and Manny hurried across the street to the diner. They were seated and each made their order.

"Oh, I forgot to order a drink." Manny said, annoyed with herself.

"It's okay, I'll go get the drinks. What will you have?" Sean asked.

Manny smiled, "A water would be great. Thanks, Sean."

Sean got up slowly and kept his eyes locked on her smile for as long as he could. He walked over to the counter and rang the bell twice. The waiter was arranging drinks in the cooler and his back was to Sean.

"Yeah?" he called over his shoulder.

"Can I get two waters, please?" Sean replied casually.

"Sure." The waiter grabbed the waters and turned around. "Here you…" The waiter stopped suddenly. He didn't notice both bottles of water slip from his hands.

Sean's eyes bulged. He had not expected him ever to come back to Toronto after what he had done…he had not seen him since that day. Sean stared stonily into the face of his older brother, Tracker.