Brooke was lonely plain and simple. She liked the fact that she and Lucas were getting along and she enjoyed their newfound friendship but something was missing in her life. Sighing into the pillow she looked at the clock. Less than an hour had passed since Nathan had come and taken Lucas, Harmony, Aidan and Tristan out for a day at the circus and then it would be on the Chuckie Cheese. It was a near six hour drive from Brentwood to Malibu so Haley had stayed behind at the beach house to keep Brooke company and it was decided they would spend the night. Brooke thought she'd welcome the break but instead the silence was killing her. She needed to do something…anything. Opening up the front door, she yelled for Haley.
"Hey Tutor Wife, what are you doing out there?" Brooke yelled
"Tutor Wife?" Haley laughed. "Wow. I haven't heard that one in a while. I haven't tutored Nathan since high school. Anyway, I'm looking for seashells. I like to collect them Want to come help?"
"Seashell hunting? Sorry, party animal but I think I'll have to pass. Don't know if I could handle the excitement of it all", Brooke rolled her eyes. "This is place is way too quiet. I'm bored and I know you have to be to. Let's do something while we have the day to ourselves."
"What did you have in mind?"
"Shopping? I could spend money that I don't have and you could blow your hubby's dough. Sounds like a plan to me. Then afterwards we can stuff our faces and get drunk off a bottle of wine then do each other's hair. What do you say?"
"Do I have a choice?" Haley smiled as she, shell bucket and all, walked back inside the house.
Brooke pretended to think for a minute.
"Uh…no. Now come on. Let's get dressed."
The women dressed and reconvened back in the living room an hour or so later. Haley had pulled her long, auburn hair back into a neat ponytail that hung over a simple pink tee shirt, denim mini and black sandals. With a quick application of mascara and a coat of lip gloss, she was ready to go with a small purse on her shoulder and sunglasses perched atop her head. Then Brooke emerged from the back. Haley could hardly believe her eyes. Were they going on a simple and casual girls day out or had she missed the memo about Fashion Week? Brooke sported a ponytail as well but it was anything but simple. Her long, dark locks had been carefully curled and pulled back into one of those neat French ponytail styles. Her face was made up to the tee and it was flawless. Expensive jewelry accessorized her looks along with sunglasses that would cost most people a few months worth of mortgages. A beautiful pink and white colored poncho covered up her white Neiman Marcus tank top that happened to go fabulously with her white Capri pants and high heeled sandals.
"Ready Hales?"
Haley was speechless.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I…well, I mean, you look…"
"What? What's wrong?" Brooke asked, checking her reflection one last time in the mirror.
"You look amazing?"
"Thanks, I think. You don't sound too happy about that."
"No, no. You really look great but um don't you think you're just a tad bit…I don't know, well, overdressed?"
"Overdressed?"
"Yeah. We're just hanging out today, right? Nothing special. You just look like you're about to be on the cover of Elle magazine or something."
"So you disapprove?"
"Of course not. Look, forget I said anything, okay? You look great as always. Let's just go."
"Wait. Obviously you think my outfit is too much or else you wouldn't have said anything."
"Brooke, forget it. Don't get mad. I didn't mean anything by it. It's an incredible outfit."
"But you'd never wear it, right?"
"Not to the mall and a casual afternoon meal, no. But that's just me."
"You think I'm too flashy, don't you?"
"What? Oh Brooke, come on…"
"Yes you do. You think I'm flashy and gaudy and…"
"I do not. I just think you like to look your best all the time. And you like expensive things. Big deal."
"So you don't think I could be comfortable in a standard 'mommy' outfit?"
"Brooke, let's just go. Please. I'm sorry I ever said anything."
"No. Wait right here. I'll show you", Brooke said determined as Haley rolled her eyes and plopped down on the couch.
A half hour later, Brooke reemerged. She was hardly recognizable with her hair pulled into a messy bun, no make up or jewelry, khaki Capris and a plain white sleeveless shirt. Her fantastic high heel sandals had been replaced with the ultimate "Mom" footwear…Reebok classics and socks to match.
"Now do I have your approval?" Brooke smiled as she twirled around.
"It's…different. I am shocked", Haley laughed as Brooke accentuated her drastic change with a white sun visor.
"Now do I look like I could be on the arm of Calvin Klein in one of his fashion shows?"
"No but you look like you could accompany Tiger Woods to the ninth hole", Haley laughed. "Come on, Tigger. Let's get out of here."
Brooke opened the door just as someone was about to knock on it. Visitor and resident took one look at each other and screamed.
"Gordie! Oh my God! What are you doing here? Give me a hug!"
"Red light, Soccer Mom", Gordon said, holding up his hand and blocking her hug. "I came here to see Brooke Scott but it's obviously I have the wrong address."
"Gordon! He-lo! It's me, your very best Diva."
He put one hand on his heart and the other across his forehead, pretending to faint.
"What in the world? Well I'll be Barbara Bush. Diva, what happened to you?"
"It's not that bad, is it? I'm toning it down. What do you think?"
"I think my ass got here in the nick of time to save you and trust me child, you are in need of saving. You did this to her, didn't you Little Mama?" Gordon asked accusingly as he turned to Haley.
"I plead the fifth", she smiled with a shrug.
"Gordie, I am glad to see you but this is a surprise. What's going on? What are you doing here?"
"Girlfriend, I needed a break", Gordon said, pushing his way and his luggage's way past the women and on into the house. "Work gets on my nerves, the City is getting on my nerves, that new little art gallery owner I'm seeing, Antonio is way getting on my nerves. I needed a change of scenery, child! I figured you needed to see me as much as I needed to see you that is if you and Judas haven't killed each other yet. Speaking of that handsome little sewer rat, where is he? Tell me you two hags didn't chop him up and throw his sorry behind in the ocean."
"Not yet", Brooke smiled. "And for your information Judas, I mean Lucas, and I are getting along just fine, thank you very much. Now Haley and I were on our out shopping if you wanted to come. If not, you can always rest here until we get back."
"Shopping? Try and go without me, Diva. Shoot, don't have to tell me twice. Let me just put my bags in here and….aaaaaaggghhhhh!"
"Gordon, are you okay?"
"Lord have mercy in Heaven! Reagan, Bush, Ford, Nixon and four more Republicans I can't name! What in the hell is that thing?"
"Gordon, relax", Haley smiled. "It's just a moose head."
"A what?"
"A moose head."
"Whoo child! Can it eat me?"
"No Gordon."
"Good. Still that thing looks ferocious. Who would have that thing in their house? Damn! Yeah Diva, looks like I made it in the nick of time."
-------
"Child, if Mary Poppins drags us into one more antique shop I am officially going to hang myself and her too while I'm at it", Gordon whispered tersely to a giggly Brooke, both relieved as they found themselves in the confines of a normal apparel store.
They looked around and made small talk as Gordon sifted through the items, obviously missing Macy's, Bloomingdales and all the other shopping pleasures and treasures that New York City had to offer.
"Oh God, look at that purse", Brooke cooed.
"Brooke, you cannot afford that. It's five hundred bucks. Even if you could, who would spend that much on a handbag? That's crazy."
"But I want it", Brooke pouted.
"It is not within your budget. Besides, if you buy that no more other clothes or food for that matter for weeks."
"I don't care. I don't want food. I don't need food. I want that purse."
"Diva, you okay?" Gordon inquired. "Looking kind of pasty on me."
"I'm fine. Just shoppers' withdrawal. I think I need a twelve step program. Anyway, I'm discount shopping in an outfit that's only missing golf clubs and a mini van. May as well get used to looking like total crap."
"Relax, Brooke", Haley comforted. "We will find something fabulous within your budget still. I promise. And think of what you can do with all the money you'll save."
"Cocktails?" she beamed.
"No."
"Why not? I have a feeling I might need a drink or two after today. Speaking of, I'm starving so let's get out of here. I need food."
"Hold on", Gordon said, grabbing the purse Brooke had been eyeing.
"What are you doing?"
"What? I've got shoes and a coat to match. I need something to accessorize with at the next Versace show. I ain't trying to be on Entertainment Tonight looking like JJ for Good Times."
"You…you, you little weasel, you! Gordon, if you buy that purse for yourself, you are so not my best friend anymore!"
He rolled his eyes and put it on the counter, whipping out one of his many credit cards as Brooke fumed in the background.
"Relax, hag. I'm buying it for you and God knows you do need it."
"Gordie, you are so my best friend!" Brooke squealed giddily as she admired her new present and stuck her tongue out at Haley.
"Now can we eat?"
"Come on, hags. I am feeling faint and I know neither one of you is strong enough to catch me if I should hit the ground. Damn, where is Shoulders when you need her?"
He walked out with Haley and Brooke on each arm as they chatted happily on their way to the restaurant.
"So you and old Judas haven't done the oochie coochie since you've been here, huh?"
"Gordon! Of course not. It's not like that anymore."
"What? You closed for the Winter? Come on, Diva. We need to make a pit stop before we eat and trust me, this is more important than food."
A few minutes later the trio entered a store with tinted windows called The Pleasure Palace.
"Ta da!"
Brooke just shook her head and laughed while poor Haley with her bright red cheeks looked absolutely mortified. They browsed the store looking at the displays of leather, fur lined handcuffs and "love dolls".
"Shopping spree on me, the Gordon. Anything your hag hearts desire. You too little Mama. Let's pick something out to really rock number 23's socks."
"Gordon…I, I couldn't buy anything in here", Haley whispered.
"What about these?" Gordon offered, pointing to a pair of edible, crotch less panties.
Brooke playfully slapped Gordon as Haley ran off practically in tears.
"Diva, this is my present to you…the Turbo 4000, supercharged edition. Every single woman's best friend."
"You and double A batteries are a godsend, my friend", Brooke shrugged as they made their way to the counter.
"Little Mama, you sure you don't want anything?"
"No. I'm fine. Um, we're fine. Really. Nathan and I are uh, good, in that department."
"You sure?"
"Um, positive."
"Not even a little something something to spice it up. Blow his mind. Remind him that you can still work it after eleven years and two babies. Something that will rock his world. Something that will make him scream out 'Tutor Wife'."
"I'm okay", Haley protested meekly.
"Come on shucky ducky. I see that smile creeping up. Girl, don't be shamed! You are among friends. We know you got some freak in you. Come on now."
With her eyes set on the floor, a goofy smile on her face and her hands trembking, Haley quickly picked out a can of edible massage oil.
"Pina Colada. Not bad, Hales", Brooke laughed.
"And this", she whispered, handing Gordon the crotch less edible panties.
"Now we're talking, Little Mama. I'm proud of you."
"And this", Haley said handing him one final item before fleeing the store.
Brooke and Gordon exchanged amused and bewildered glances as they stared at the leather whip Haley had chosen.
"Yes, the Gordon arrived in the nick of time", he grinned, shaking his head.
The three friends enjoyed a Greek meal and a bottle of wine. Their excursion lasted deep into the night. When they returned to the beach house, all lights were off.
"Okay. Nate, Hales and the boys have Harmony's room so Gordie you can bunk with us. Second door on the left."
"Gotcha, Diva. And you better not hog the covers. Homey don't play that and neither does Gordon."
The group changed and retired to their respective rooms, Gordon being last as he exfoliated, meditated and changed into silk pajamas. Opening the door, he climbed into bed, placing two cucumber circles over his eyes. He was almost asleep when she rolled over and cuddled up next to him.
"Uh uh. Come on, Diva. No cuddling, coddling, spooning or fucking in here tonight or any other night. Get your behind on your side."
"Good night, Brooke", the sleepy voice beside him mumbled.
"Brooke?" Gordon asked, reaching over and turning on the lamp.
Luke's eyes adjusted to the light then to Gordon who was in bed beside him. Both let out blood curling screams. Seconds later Brooke, Haley and Nathan were in the room.
"Bro, you alright? I…whoah!" Nathan said, stepping back.
"What's going on?"
"Hales, Brooke, trust me…you don't want to know."
The women peeked in and immediately burst out laughing.
"Gordie, I said the second door on the left not right."
"It was my left."
"Then your other left", she giggled.
"Dude, get out!" Lucas commanded, covering up.
"Fine! Don't have a cow, Judas. You ain't all that anyway. Your brother is cuter."
"Thanks…I think", Nathan shrugged, confused as he put his arm around Haley.
"Okay. Show's over. Everybody off to their own bed", Brooke directed.
She couldn't stop laughing even as Gordon settled into her room.
"Gordie, you are a character, you know that?"
"What?"
"I can't believe you. Did you see the look on Luke's face? You almost gave him another heart attack."
"Ain't nobody thinking about Judas with his gorgeous, chiseled self. And uh, I kind of felt something and let's say it wasn't a flashlight."
"Gordon!"
"Relax. It wasn't hard Diva but still it was…nice. If it was that nice then, I can only imagine how nice it is when it gets bigger."
"Gordon!"
"What? Okay. I done said too much. I'll shut up now. Let's get some sleep. You got anything to say?"
Brooke was quiet for a while but then she just couldn't resist.
"Whoo child!" she giggled.
"You took the words right out my mouth, Diva", Gordon grinned as they drifted off.