Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters not owned by me. I own, uh, the Land of the Dead. Willow trees rock!

Chapter 19: Bitter Truths

The splash of her body falling into the water was like an unbearable echo.

The rocking of the boat was gentle and the waves no longer tormented him. But they didn't have to. His whole being, at the moment, was being torn apart by self-hatred.

Oh, he had been so close… So close… They had been on their way home, she had been right next him, right there… and he had let her slip through his fingers.

The irony of it all made him want to scream. He thought he had been rid of Orochimaru's evil, only to find that it still existed even when the Sannin no longer did. No, that bastard's legacy had lived on… within him…

Sasuke clutched the curse seal that still shown black on his neck, wanting to claw at it, wanting to rip it off. What a fool he had been. To think that this ugly mark could get him what he wanted. What a remarkably naïve fool. To think that he could pay the price and not have it come back to haunt him.

But now was not the time for misery. He gazed at the water, watching its ebony, glass-like surface. It beckoned.

There was still time, wasn't there? The three days were not yet over. There were perhaps only a few minutes, but those could—no, would be enough. He could still save her. Would save her. There was so much resting on that desperate hope that he could not help but believe it. If he tried, he could find her in those black, blinding depths. Naruto would want him to try.

Before another second was wasted, Sasuke took a deep breath and acted.

The water was cool against his skin.

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She was sinking, the terror like a boulder weighing her down.

The treacherous thing that had trapped her into this situation drew her closer into a tight embrace, choking her. But it was the water that harmed her more. It was like a veil, depriving her of her senses, soaking her body with filth, stealing whatever she had until she had nothing and was nothing...

No, she couldn't let that happen… She clung to the last piece she had, struggling hard to keep it, saying to herself over and over again lest she forget, My name is… Sakura… My name is…

The shadow, just as wrapped up in its own needs, smiled a little sad smile and said selfishly, At least I won't be alone anymore…

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The heaviness he had experienced before returned at full force the instant his head went under. He grunted from the discomfort that increased with every second until it became flat-out pain. Drawing on some unknown strength, however, he managed to kick his legs and the propulsion pushed him further downward. The deeper he went, the more his body fell victim to the malice that surrounded him.

His nose, though he did not dare inhale, began to detect the rotting scent of death. It was a taste that somehow spread to his mouth though no water passed through his lips.

His skin writhed as if brushing against the slimy scales of snakes. His ears heard the whispers of his hate and the words that had been inscribed upon his heart with blood.

Foolish little brother… Hate me, detest me…

His eyes stared, one fixated and frantically searching and the other seeing his past as if watching some crimson movie that had no end. He didn't dare close either.

They were on the ground, one on top of another, a trail of red coming from the bodies…

No, Sasuke shook his head to regain his focus, no, they were below him. Though his left eye was watching the massacre, his right saw the outlines of struggling figures. For a second, his mind was in a state of confusion. Then the briefest flash of pink in the black was enough to tell him which eye to pay attention to. He moved his arms to gain speed and it was like his muscles were being ripped to shreds by the effort.

But he got closer and that was all that mattered. He could see them more clearly now. Sakura was too pale for it to be a good sign, green eyes quivering with boundless fear, lips moving soundlessly in the water. She looked as if she was about to fall apart. He reached out his hand to grab the shadow, to stop him, to beat the crap out of him.

Before he could do so, something caused him to freeze. It was the touch of icy cold fingers.

Somebody had grabbed his ankle.

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"The sun's setting."

She didn't like to be the bearer of bad news, but she couldn't deny the facts either. Outside this small hut, night was approaching faster than anyone could wish. She looked meaningfully at Kakashi and Naruto, but neither would meet her gaze.

"In another hour or two, everything will be over," she said, trying to gauge their feelings from their reactions. If Sasuke did not return, if Sakura was not alive by the end of the day, would these two be able to recover?

Kakashi barely stirred at her words. She knew the Copy Ninja well enough to know that his pain, as was the case with most of his true emotions, was masked with silence. Years ago, at the Fourth's funeral, she had seen him so perfectly composed that she had thought him untouched by the tragedy. That is, until he joined Orochimaru months later in pursuing the forbidden secrets of resurrection.

Naruto, still supplying chakra to Sakura's body, clenched his teeth and cursed. But his eyes gave him away; Tsunade pretended not to notice when the boy wiped angrily at them.

She had seen it before, this silently hurting child. Only once. It had been on the day of her return to the Leaf. When Sakura had fervently hugged Sasuke, newly awaken from a coma, he had stood quietly on the sidelines and looked ready to cry. Odd, she had thought, how Naruto could be so loud in his anger and happiness and so quiet in his pain. He was more soft-hearted than one would suspect.

Now, once again, this side of him both surprised and saddened Tsunade. She could stand Naruto being loud about his dreams to usurp her Hokage-ship, she knew just how to knock him down a peg or two when he got overly arrogant. Loud, proud Naruto, she could handle. She had accepted so much of this boy, had become so accustomed to his moods, that she could take him any way that he came, be it boastful, determined, critical, clumsy, daring, cheerful, goofy, excited, annoying, serious, devious…

But never sad. Sad Naruto, never. For some reason, the Fifth Hokage was rendered speechless at the sight of this grief in much the same way a dagger in the heart makes one choke up before feeling the pain.

Really, it was just too familiar.

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Sakura shuddered when the shadow raised its hand to caress her cheek. They had sunk to the bottom now, solid ground beneath them, and they were not rising back up. To her disgust, black arms were still holding her. The touch was sickening but the water itself was a thousand times worse. She could feel it as a predator in her mind, clawing at the doors of her mind, trying to get at the only thing she had.

She would not let them get it. Even if she had stay at the bottom of this lake for a million years, they would not take it away from her.

"My name is Sakura," she muttered determinedly, "My name is Sakura…."

The words that had echoed themselves in her thoughts while she had been sinking were being said aloud, despite the fact that she was underwater. She thought it odd but there was no time to ponder in detail why she could talk, even breathe, in such a place.

But the water was not so much a liquid as it was a sinister presence. Certainly, at this lowest level, it resembled air more than water. The darkness was fluid but not substantial or real, except in her head. Perhaps it was the nature of the place for every time she inhaled or spoke a word, it was giving the evil a chance to enter, to permeate her being.

"My name is…"

"Why… why do you bother to remember?" the shadow whispered, "It's just a name…"

"It's who I am!" she retorted in a burst of anger. Idiot! My name is who I am. And not just that, it is a gift from someone important...

"Even so, why do you bother to remember it? A name without people that know it is meaningless."

She was struck dumb before saying weakly, "Th-that's not true… He's going to take me back… Back to where people do know--"

"But how do you know that he's not lying? There may be no one worth returning to. There may be no point in returning. After all, how do you know that your life is better than your death?"

She had a reason, to the surprise of them both. She realized inwardly that it was this simple reason that made her willing to suffer the hardships of the journey back to life, "I… I think he loves me…"

The shadow chuckled. It was not as affected as her by their surroundings for despite all its earlier efforts to avoid it, the river was its rightful home, "You think? Or you hope?"

She remained silent and the shadow, seeing her weakness, seized its opportunity to keep her forever.

"Love…" the shadow began and not without bitterness, "…is much too overrated. We've got time. After all, we're going to be down here for a while. Let me tell you a story…"

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There was a boy, who died young just like you. And just like you and all those reach the end of their lives, he came here to the Land of the Dead and saw the black river that separates the spirits from their eternities. He was just about to step into the boat that would take him across when his father, whom had never shown him much affection during his life and whom the boy believed held nothing but hate for him, came chasing after him.

The father begged for the boy's life. The boatman refused and said that too much of the boy's soul had entered the Land of the Dead for it to leave. Despite this, the boy, too, begged to go back. His plea was out of love for he saw how much his father needed him, despite his previous coldness. Both pleas were ignored.

The father then asked to go with the son across the river. That request was refused also. The boatman, as it turned out, would not take the father because the passage of the living was forbidden except in certain cases. As for suicide, the father could not kill himself and hope to go to the same place as his son. Suicide is a punishable act in the Land of the Dead. Though, as later events proved, it would've been better had he taken his own life.

As there seemed to be no option left, the father broke down and cried. His wife had been murdered a year before and now, his only child was being taken from him. Unable to bear the sight of his father's tears, the son finally asked, Why are you in such pain? There is no need for you to torment yourself over my death. Live out your life. Try to be happy. Once you die, we will be reunited.

To which, the father answered sadly and without hope, There is no chance. I have committed too many sins in my life. Killed too many, made too many suffer. When I die, there will be no peace for me. When I die, I will never see you or your mother again.

At this, the son despaired as well for his father spoke the truth. At last, when the boatman left for the other side, the son was not on the boat. Out of love, he had vowed to stay behind.

His father, who could not stay in the Land of the Dead for extended periods of time, went back and forth between the two realms. It was greatly ironic. He was a dead man in the world of the living and a live one in the world of the dead. But he didn't care so long as he saw his son.

There were two joyous visits, one after the other. The son was finally able to understand the distant man that was his father, to talk to him, to love him and be loved in return. On the third visit, the father came to the Land of the Dead and stayed.

But not with the son.

As his son watched in horror, the father's soul walked against its will into the river where all the worst sinners are doomed to go. The son watched his father's face as the black water covered it, watched as his reason for staying behind sunk like a rock, watched as he was left behind with nothing but shadows for company.

Let me tell you, people can die in a hundred different ways. They can die physically, emotionally, and more than once.

That day, the shadows laughed at the boy that watched his father disappear, laughed as the boy died again. But this destruction was a hundred times worse than the destruction of his body, which had gone to the worms. This destruction was more complete.

Time took its toll for the boatman did not return.

The boy forgot his name, forgot his love for his father, forgot all the things he had ever loved in his life and in doing so, he died a third time. When he became aware of himself again, he was one of the faceless shadows. He had become one of those eternally lonely beings that borrow faces when they learn the names of others and only do so to escape their own misery.

You say it's sad, but it is only love.

After all, why did the boy stay behind in the first place?

He stayed for love.

The suffering he endured, the draining of self, the torture of solitude, it is only right to say that all that he experienced was for love. A love that destroyed and killed him. A love that took so much from him that it became nothing but a word that he hated in the end.

You don't believe me, your green eyes say that you think I'm lying, but it's true. All of it. Here, at the bottom of this goddamn river, I can remember everything now.

And know this, in all the years I've spent down here, wandering and waiting, I've finally learned the true meaning of love and it is the only bright truth I've gained in this land of darkness.

One does not live for love. One dies for it.

Love is death.

A/N: Sorry so late for the update! (Hey, that rhymes!) Anyways, I know you guys are prolly all big SasuSaku fans (I am, too!), but just as a warning, this story… is not going to end the way you hope. I know many of you will probably protest but just so you know, those protests will have to fall on deaf ears. I love all your reviews and I hope you guys like my story well enough to let me end it the way I plan. This story's had a continuous "mood" to it that doesn't quite suggest your typical happy ending. Hopefully, my way will take you guys by surprise. Lastly, what can I say? I'm an angst writer and if you haven't gotten that by now, um, maybe I've been writing too happy. Wait, is that even possible? (Looks back on page after page of Sasuke-torture) Anyways, maybe my ending will disappoint a lot of reviewers but hey, you don't have to read and I'm warning you straight up. Plus, I will definitely make up for it. Somehow.