Todd lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. The house was silent, the only sound he could hear was the tapping of his father at his computer. He lies in darkness, the only light shining faintly through his window is that of the scary neighbour man next door. God only knows what he's up to tonight. Even though Todd has grown accustomed to the series of loud noises and mechanical wrenchings, and all manner of shrieks in the human vocal range, he still grows apprehensive at the banging and maniacal laughter that drifts into the edge of his hearing. The scary neighbour man never ceases to surprise Todd; always making some new torturous endeavours.
Once again, the nightly worries start, niggling and growing in the back of Todd's mind until they are all that occupies him, the same old fears, and a few new ones. The same circular discussions that chase each other through his thoughts, never answering the millions of questions, just raising more.
School was just one more worry. It had been particularly painful today. Pepito had been trying to persuade him all day just how great it would be if he joined his fathers' army of soulless undead. Those hypnotic eyes that saw right through him, that bore deep into his soul, they made it so hard to refuse. He made everything sound so logical, he knew what Todd wanted, and here he was offering it to him. How could Todd refuse? Even though Pepito was the only person that was interested in Todd, and indeed, the only person Todd ever spoke to, albeit with difficulty, Todd was still afraid of him to a degree. The words Pepito spoke held more than a grain of truth, Todd knew. He did want to show them all, he did want to never be afraid again, but not at the cost of his soul. Or, at least he thought. What worried him the most was that while he repeatedly turned down the antichrists' invitations, he feared that one day he would not want to. One day he might lose control and throw it all in, not caring, doing what was easy, succumb to evil and give in to those black desires he knew were wrong, but still yearned for.
Todd clutched Shmee tighter to him, the comfort emanating from the bear easing him somewhat. Then something came to him, something he had never considered before.
After escaping from his grandpa on their last meeting, he remembered what the old man had said, the words echoing in the void of his consciousness.
"Your father must really love you, to have hidden you from me…"
Todd wasn't sure if it was just the old man's ramblings, or whether it was true….
But his father had never shown him any affection. Todd knew he had always been the bane of his life. The thing that constantly brought him down, depressed him, made his father want to turn back time. He saw it every time his father refused to look at him. In the way he brushed him off. In the way his father wished to god he could have his own life instead of being burdened by Todd, had been burdened and denied his own life by him since the day Todd was born some seven or eight years ago.
Rolling over, Todd shut out all thought, all pain, and concentrated on sleep. He fell into an uneasy slumber, dreams full of metaphors for questions he had no answers to.
There is a creak as his bedroom door opens slowly, and a dark figure makes its way over to his bed. Todd sleeps on, oblivious.
His father bends down closer to him, inspecting the sleeping form. He can see a tear making its way down his sons' face, and he gently brushes it away. As he looks over him, his gaze turns softer, and he smooths out the bedspread, tucking him in tightly. Pausing, he places one hand softly on his son's head, then sighing, moves away.
"Sleep tight, Todd," he mutters, then closes the door. In his dreams, Todd suddenly sleeps easier, an unknown comfort melting through his fears, making him feel as though for once, even for a little while, he had nothing to worry about.