Lu Bu's Puppet – Chapter 5
Goodbyes SUCK!
The next morning was bright and colorful. Dawn came with the shade of purple and red, yellow the tint of the sky and orange reflected off the horizon. The air smelled of sweet dew and cherries. A light scent of breakfast wafted through the air and tickled her nose, sending the irritating feeling of hunger vibrating through her stomach. Heaven seemed to be right above her as clouds covered the sky, letting patches of light through breaks. Her tent was within a ray of light, waking her from the rest of her lazy sleep in the subtlest way, as if the Sun were trying to give her a nudge into consciousness. She didn't dream last night. She didn't have to. He was still next to her. He still had her waist in his arm, cradling it as if it were a child's security blanket. Unfortunately, the roar of her stomach woke him slowly. She had a smile in her eyes and a light grin on her face as he slowly woke. The arm moved from her body and stretched, elongating his body elegantly. "So…this is how it is to wake next to someone."
Jade was astonished. "You've never had anyone sleep with you the entire night? They get up and LEAVE?!" He looked to her with a face that spoke only two words, 'Yeah…So?' She shook her head and laid it back down, swinging an arm over his stomach, toying with a ridge in his abdomen and running her finger softly over a slight scar on his side, "I can't believe that after all this time, you don't know how it is to wake up next to the person you interchanged with…for lack of better words." He continued to stare at the ceiling, replying evenly, "Diao Chan always leaves right afterwards. She never stays for more than a few moments in which she uses to stand and dress." Jade grabbed part of the cover and sat up to look at him, making sure her upper body was covered correctly. "Okay, like I told my ex, YOU need boyfriend lessons."
"And who is this boy that is your friend and why does he need schooling on how to be a companion?" Jade could see Lu Bu was getting confused and frustrated. She explained quickly.
"Never mind the boyfriend concept. Never talk about your other engagements while with other women. Never mention anything about me when you're with Diao Chan. She'll grow angry and hateful and seeing as how I am leaving soon, I don't have a want to fight for your love. I found what I needed."
"You aren't going anywhere." He lifted himself into a standing position and pulled up a tent flap to tell the guard to bring some breakfast and green tea. The guard hurried off. She looked at him as he gave her an angry and disappointing look while he recovered himself under the furs. She smiled and explained her reasoning. "There is a morale to every story and my morale has been discovered. I think I am supposed to help you find yours before I go." He grew furious. "I don't need help! I will never need help! How dare you insinuate that I would be in need of assistance in ANY aspect of my life?" Jade nodded and lowered her eyes to the ground with a look of dismay and a short fuse, "Fine."
He stood and left with Jade watching his beautiful back tense into knots and stress marks. He was an amazing lover, knowing exactly where to touch and skim, knowing how to entice and provoke. His best feature was the knowledge not many men or women possessed. He knew how to kiss. He knew where to kiss. He was perfect. His arms were strong and held her closely; his fingers, though rough, were everything she thought they would be. He was rough when wanted and sensual when needed. He pinned her down the way she loved and caused her to have chills when he entered her core. It resembled a wet dream brought to life. It was a fantasy that lasted forever in the fruits of her mind. There was only one problem – he wasn't real.
Jade truly believed that she was in a state where her mind had been traumatized so much by what her body had been through that she had inadvertently created an alternate reality, real to no one else but her. The effects would wear off and everything was merely a psychological game. Believing she had already found herself, she could not leave this Heaven until other figments had a happy ending as well. So, Jade continued deeper into her separate thoughts, looking for the truth behind everything. Coming to no conclusion, she had no choice but to wait.
Standing within her tent, a rush of energy engulfed her and she grabbed the closest clothing near by, dressed herself, and traveled off to find the closest pool of water. Outside of the tent, it was quiet and men had disappeared into the closest town, looking for awkward tasks to be done for folk in order to earn a bit of change for the bars tonight. Tonight was not to be spent in camp, but in a recreational cabin, drinking sake and speaking of war battles and wounds to women, marring true stories into fiction and creating a glorious battle of valor. She did not disagree with their decision.
Walking past trees and underbrush, she found a wide part of the river where the water was calm and there were sounds that a normal forest would have. The water was fairly warm and her clothes fell to the ground. She left the foot she tested the water with in a shallow end of the pool, soaking her sores away as she slowly put the other foot in. Finally, her entire body sifted into the water with ease, adjusting to the temperature and letting go of the tense feeling in her legs and back. The surface broke and water rippled down the river, slow moving as it was. The serenity of all of her surroundings calmed her nerves and quieted her spinning mind, massaging her scalp with small air bubbles that became trapped in her hair. All was calm for only a few moments. Diao Chan appeared from the bushes.
"Chan," Jade acknowledged. She nodded back, "Jade." There was a bit of a stand off as they stood, one floating, staring at each other. Finally, Jade realized she no longer had anything against the Asian Beauty and invited her in. Being an advent swimmer, Jade had no worries of being drowned by Diao Chan, knowing that if she could out maneuver anyone back home, she could surly out maneuver Chan. Diao Chan dropped her robe and slowly made her way into the water, letting a sigh of relief escape her lips. Jade smiled and spoke quietly, thinking if she spoke any louder, the serenity would break like an expensive, elder piece of glass jewelry, "You love him, yes?"
A bit taken back by the jump into the subject, she answered simply enough, "Yes. I do." Jade looked down at the water and floated for a bit. "If you do, then you should stop leaving every time you guys do it." Chan became astonished, "Why would men committing an indecent act have anything to do with the General and I?" "Heh, you two are made for each other. I meant every time you engage with Lu Bu, I am told you leave soon afterward. Stay next time. Don't rush off and leave him wondering what it would be like to have a woman's companionship all night. He needs you. I have bigger fish to fry." Diao Chan merely looked at her and produced a half-forced smile, "I will do that." "Good."
The rest of the swim was spent in silence. Jade did laps from side to side and Chan flexed burnt muscles and sore tendons. It was pleasant, to say the most. Jade thought about ways this reality would end and how God would bring her back to real life. Perhaps a leftover enemy soldier would come and kill her or maybe she would fall asleep and awake in a room with white lab coats and a ventilator sitting beside her. She was soon to find out.
An undercurrent caught her foot and swept her under, delaying her ability to breathe. She could feel Chan's hands brush her fingertips before being swept farther away. She didn't expect Diao Chan to risk her entire life to save her. That would be stupid on her part. In a few seconds, she felt her lungs ready to implode as they took in water, preventing her from breathing any kind of air. The world started going dark and she saw her first memory; her father scaring her on Halloween with his deadly "claw" and a mask of a ghoul. She saw her first love, Prince, smiling at her and kissing her cheek with all the softness in the world. She saw her second love, Matt, and a rose he had handed her on their first date at the mall. She saw her mother, laughing at her old baby stories and pictures, being the kind of mom that kept your cute pictures in her wallet and not leaving any room for much else in there. She saw her last love and their lovemaking, Lu Bu. She loved him. Yet he was a figment. He was a perfect man to her. A project that needed doing and she indeed completed it. Happy endings went all the way around. Now, it was time for life to continue and for her to return to the real reality from whence she came. Now it was time for earth to return to her. Everything went dark.
"Is she going to be okay?"
"Now she will. She gave us a scare when her heart went into arrest, but we brought her back and she should be regaining consciousness between now and tomorrow morning. Your friend was lucky. The bullet only grazed her heart. A little further and we would be looking at a corpse. Her lung will eventually recover. She needs to rest. You can stay with her now that she is in recovery and very stable."
"Thanks, Doc."
Jade laid there in paralysis, unable to open her eyes to see whom the male voice was, but she had a good idea. James sat beside her, taking her hand in his and kissing the top to her IV, letting himself down onto the side of her bed and closing his eyes. She opened hers very slowly, the lights dimmed and a small candle shaped light next to her. The room was quiet and she felt the same injury she felt in her 'dream', only a lot worse. It was as if a hot iron had been inserted in her wound and jabbed itself all the way through her side. A small glance and a bit of movement told her that she was naked under a hospital gown and had stitching and a bandage over a bleeding spot in her chest. He continued to hold her hand.
The doctor had said she was 'very stable.' What's the difference between stable and 'very' stable? She was fine. Sure, pain will always hurt and blood will bleed, but he said it himself. She was fine. Jade really believed that to be true until she tried to move. The same pain that she felt when she first arrived at Lu Bu's doorstep shot through her, except it was multiplied twice over. She winced and made sure that she didn't wake James. He let go of her hand and she pulled herself to an upright position. That hurt a bit more, but not enough to make her scream. That type of pain was bottled inside of her chest, making her unable to breathe right or think clearly. Matters of love never really bothered her for the last year or so, but her own mind rekindled such memories very clearly.
Jade leaned back and looked around her room. The desks were empty and no flowers sat beside her with balloons saying 'get well,' and there were no cards on her nightstand. Just an empty tray of hospital food sat to her right along with a phone. Jade had lost Matt's number long ago and there was no point in calling the correctional center of Colorado in Cañon City. Prince hasn't been there for years.
Her chest grew tighter and it felt as if her heart shifted downwards about two inches, signaling the dashed hopes that consumed her. Lu Bu was gone. It was as if she had lost another love to the raging sea of emotion and prejudice. Her mind's cry for help nearly killed her spirit and that man – the desperate bravado – from the 7-11 died because of her. Everything hurt. Her chest, her heart, her head, and her soul were in dire need of consolation. All of them were receiving what they needed, except one. It writhed in pain and cried constantly, never giving itself or her a time for peace. Yet, her soul was never able to actually gain her attention until now. This traumatic episode triggered her 'not in Kansas anymore' type of reality that was really just a time where she was in space and no one was there to comfort the injured spirit. Regardless of the technicalities, she still missed him. She missed his smell, his eyes, his cherry blossom sent, his tent, his room, his voice, and his love. It hurt like hell to lose the man you love to another woman. But it happens, and there is usually not much to be done afterwards.
James awoke and looked at her staring back at him with emotions blinking over her face in flashes of lightning. Forced smiles and twitches of her lower lip gave everything away. She broke down in his arms, imagining them to be someone she loved, where ever he was and whatever his name is. They stayed that way for a long time, Jade letting him cradle her the way she hasn't been held for years in the past. She cried over everything. She cried over being shot, over Lu Bu, over how she fell in love again just to lose him again, and over the most important thing in her life, unrecognized until now – herself.
Days went by and she slowly recovered with physical therapy. She began her teaching career being a karate instructor, learning little ones how to fly above all their problems and fears. There is the great saying by someone whose name she has forgotten: "Those who cannot do, teach." As a part time martial arts instructor and a full-time cop, time was greatly and gratefully consumed in work. She woke around three o'clock in the afternoon and went to her master's teaching studio to work until eight or nine o'clock at night. Then afterwards, she would pack up and bid farewell to her worried teacher and head to back to her apartment. Showering her first few sores away and re-dressing for work, she grabbed her issued jacket and headed out the door, driving to the police station where she was looked at as a person to be felt sorry for. She knew it. She was given her other set of keys and never really spoke in depth to anyone else about the incident or anything else for that matter. Then she would leave and patrol the streets for the entire night, responding to house calls and speeders, domestic violence and break-ins, and she would do it with grace. She had begun the first faze of her own personal hellish recovery.
Around the three-week mark since the incident, she received a call over her radio about a possible 9-32 in progress at the corner of Platte and Circle. Jade groaned and responded that she was in the area and would respond. Rounding the corner, she found the flasher detained by another off-duty officer. Obviously, she had never seen this man, so she had suspected illegal use of handcuffs by civilian. Approaching, she parked her car with the lights on next to the man who was currently covered in a trench coat and a spare blanket the man had had in his truck. She waltzed up and shook her head. "Eddie, I swear. Go get therapy! I am really tired of seeing you prancing around in your B-day suit and trust me, honey, there ain't much to see." He looked at her with the face of a sever-year-old when they know they've done something wrong, "But Miss Hart, I love you." "I know you do, but this is definitely not the way to show it. Let's get you in the car." She looked towards the man who had apprehended the suspect and nearly became dizzy with surprise. It was Lu Bu. It was his copy. No! It WAS Lu Bu! He had the same eyes, lips, and his best feature. His smell clung to the midnight air with a vengeance. He gave a small smile and presented himself, "Hi. I am Officer Brandon Lei of the district up north. I was in the neighborhood and knew this guy wasn't being legal."
Jade couldn't say anything but smile and nod a bit. Finally, after he began to look at her in the strangest way, she coughed out an answer. "Oh! Um okay, thanks! I…I know this guy. He's my most common regular…" "BUT I LOVE YOU, OFFICIMER!" She closed her eyes and smiled at him from the street corner, watching him knock on the window, holding up his hands with the shinny new bracelets clinging to them. She couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "That's Eddie…So, could I get you some coffee? Just a thanks." Officer Lei nodded and smiled, "I wouldn't mind."
Officer Brandon Lei…Switched around, his name would be Lei Brandon. Wouldn't that have the same initials as Lu Bu? Maybe Jade had ESP – maybe not?
This has been a Hart felt connection in collaboration with Ana and Hid productions. This presentation has been brought to you by Ooni An Co Inc. and celebrated by romantics-in-love-with-cheesy-movies everywhere.
Anahid Hartoonian
Created Monday, September 6, 2004
Finished Thursday, January 13, 2005