Meanwhile, Miroku had his own situation to work out.
He had meant to simply wander about the give Inuyasha some time alone with his thoughts, but soon found himself hearing the sound of heartbroken sobs. Curious, thinking that it was a girl from a nearby village who has gotten lost and needed comfort, Miroku followed the cries that seemed to make his own heart ache. He was surprised when he came across a lake and found Sango sitting by the water, a concerned Shippou in her arms.
Are these tears shed on account of the conversation held between us but a few moments ago? "Sango," he queried gently as he stepped out from the dense trees through which he had been ambling. "Are you all right?" He saw her back straighten at the sound of his voice. The sobs now became silent, though her back still shook with her tears.
"Miroku," Shippou said, looking up at the monk approaching them. "She won't stop crying and she won't tell us why." Miroku looked down and saw that the small Kirara was looking up at Sango, a mewl of worry escaping her. He knelt behind the taijya and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Sango, is there something I can do?" Sango hid her face in Shippou's shoulder, pulling the boy to her in an embrace. She gave no answer. Shippou's eyes bulged a bit. Miroku imagined that she must have been squeezing the poor boy rather tightly.
He held his arms out for Shippou. "Sango, I believe that Shippou may feel the need to breathe sometime soon. Perhaps it is best that you let him go." After seeming to think it over for a moment, she loosened her grip around Shippou and the small kitsune quickly jumped into Miroku's arms, looking back at Sango with undiminished concern. Miroku looked down at the boy. "Where is Kagome-sama? Did she not take off in this direction?" Both males were surprised to see that these questions seemed to bring even more pain to Sango. She brought her knees up to her chin and hid her face in her knees, locking her hands around her legs.
"S-… she w-w-was here, M-M-Miroku," Shippou stuttered, feeling bad for his friend and even worse that he had not succeeded in calming her. "But she g-gave up a while ago." His large green eyes look up at the houshi. "Maybe we should, too," he whispered. "If we gave her some time alone…." Miroku shook his head. He felt somewhat responsible for Sango's state. Again, he could only guess at what it was that he had done wrong, but she had been fine before they had spoken, giving Miroku a decent speculation.
"Perhaps you and Kirara should go and amuse yourselves for a while." He said it in such a way that Shippou knew what he meant. He was going to try and solve Sango's problems all by himself, which usually earned him a good smack across the face. Sighing, Shippou figured that beating the monk up might actually help Sango relieve some of her sadness, so he jumped out of Miroku's arms and beckoned Kirara to follow him. The neko looked up at Miroku questioningly. He nodded to her, as if telling her it was all right. With a final glance at her mistress, Kirara followed after Shippou. The two small youkai disappeared back the way Miroku had come.
Miroku turned back to Sango and sat besides her. Her face was still covered, but it seemed that her tears had ended, or at least stopped raking through her with their previous force. He let a moment of silence go by, peering into the water at their reflections.
"Sango," he finally began, "if you do not tell me what is wrong, then I will be forced to speculate on what could have caused such tears. As we know from the past, my speculations are usually wrong and end up making you even more angry, but I wish to help you. I cannot help you if I do not know what is wrong." He paused a moment, but Sango made no sign of even having heard him. "All right," he continued, taking a deep breath. "You are angry at me, I know that much-."
"No," a muffled voice told him. He looked down at Sango, surprised that she had bothered to speak at all. "I am not angry with you at all, houshi-sama. In fact, there is not a shred of anger behind all of this." Except for anger at my own foolishness. She raised her head a little, wiping the tears from her eyes, still not daring to look at him. "It is simply me… being childish, is all. It will pass." She hoped that he would simply nod in understanding and leave her alone with some words of comfort, but knew before he even spoke that he was a determined man when it came to people's emotions, being a monk and all.
"I do not think it is foolish. Especially not if it would make a woman such as yourself weep so." He paused again, trying to see if there was any reaction from her, then continued. "You are angered- or at least affected- by what I had told you about Kagome-sama earlier, am I correct?" Seeing her flinch was answer enough. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "I am sorry. I did not mean to read her private thoughts, and I surely did not want to meddle in her life. But I did what I felt I had to do."
Those were not her private thoughts you read, Sango thought as she clenched her teeth. They were mine, and I don't know what's worse: the fact that you read them, or the fact that you love someone else for them. She barely realized that he continued to speak. "I had thought you would be happy, or at least somewhat pleased, when you learned that I would confront Inuyasha with it. It seemed to me to be the right thing, and even afterwards I think it was." Sango flushed. He expected me to be happy… well why shouldn't he? I am his friend, and he was about to advance upon the girl he loves. I should have been supportive of him.
"I apologize, houshi-sama," she said meekly, still not meeting his eyes. "I didn't react properly at all." She tried to let out a laugh, but it sounded like another sob. "I wonder what could have caused me to react that way?" Her heart almost broke when she heard Miroku respond, "I wondered the same." Then he has no clue how I feel… he never did. She looked down again. And he never will. "So I take it you have spoken with Inuyasha already?" She tried to let the words come out as naturally as possible and almost succeeded.
"Hai," Miroku answered. "He seemed a bit surprised by it, but I think he took it rather well. With any luck, he is speaking to Kagome-sama right now and they are both responding positively to it."
"Do you… intend to speak to Kagome-chan about it today?"
Miroku looked down at her. Her chin rested on her knees as her expressionless eyes gazed out into the water. "There is no reason for me to. If Inuyasha had any sense, surely he will not need any intervention from me." Sango's surprised eyes drifted until she came upon the houshi's reflection. "Do you then intend to have Inuyasha speak on your behalf?" He blinked. "My behalf? Surely not! I expect him to speak on his own behalf!" Sango continued to stare at his reflection, trying to process what had just been said.
Realization slowly creeping in, Miroku used the hand on her shoulder to slowly turn her to face him. "Sango…." It seemed that she finally realized that she had made a mistake and blushed once again, keeping her face away from Miroku. He gently took hold of her chin and forced her to look at him. She kept her eyes downcast. "Sango, did you think that I was under the impression that Kagome-sama had written such a beautiful piece of poetry for me?"
Sango did not respond, and that was answer enough for Miroku. She was surprised to hear a reasonably good-natured laugh come from the monk. Raising her eyes and looking at his face for the first time, she noted that his expression was not all too dissimilar from the one she had seen while he was talking to Shippou the day before. She offered him a small, crooked smile, though her embarrassment was still present. "Hai. Foolish, eh?"
Miroku laughed once, his hand still fastened to her chin. "Foolish? I would not go that far. No, Kagome-sama is very much in love with Inuyasha, as that poem clearly shows. If she had any feelings for me, they would not be so immense as to warrant those verses."
Sango looked down again, breaking the contact the houshi had with her face. "Oh?" That was all she managed to say. Miroku continued to look down at her. He felt now that he indeed had a good idea as to why Sango had been so upset. He had previously thought that she was angry that he seemed to care so much about Kagome's happiness and comparatively little of her own. He now felt he knew what the source of her tears have been. "You were scared," he murmured.
He saw Sango's eyes widened and knew that he was right. "N-nani? What do you mean?" He let out a small smile. "You thought that Kagome-sama had feelings for me… and that those feelings were returned." Sango gulped, still averting his steady gaze. "D-don't be ridiculous! Why would… why would such a thing scare me?" Knowing that he risked getting hurt if he were in the least bit wrong, Miroku whispered, "Because you wanted me to be in love with you."
Sango gasped again, alerting Miroku that he had indeed hit the mark. T-this can't be happening! Sango's mind raced with her thoughts. He can't know. He was never meant to know! It is only what Kagome-chan has called a "crush." That is all! What am I doing here, sitting by a lake with him as he utters the word "love?" He knows nothing about the word, the lech that he is! This only made her all the more surprised when she heard herself squeak out, "H-h-…hai, houshi-sama."
Miroku saw another tear spill out over her cheeks. His smile now gone, he wiped the tear away, his hand lingering on her face. Though he had felt for some time that there must be an underlying reason to Sango becoming so angry with his various flirtations and suspected that she didn't entirely loathe being alone with him as much as she had suggested, he never thought that she would actually admit to such a thing. He remembered the young lord who had confessed his love to Sango and proposed to her some months back when they had exterminated a bear youkai in his village, and recalled her telling the prince that it was unfair of her to love anyone, as she had the important duty of saving her brother and avenging her village to fulfill. Had that been only an excuse that she had given because…? But of course, he told himself now. What else could it have been?
Feeling his hand rest on her cheek made Sango's entire body feel feverish. She had just confessed her feelings to Miroku, feelings that she had sworn would remain in a book, if anywhere at all. And now… now the usually fast-talking monk was silent. He said nothing in response to her confession. He did not even offer the light-hearted laugh that he was always willing to give. He did not lunge at her with groping hands, seeing her words as an invitation, nor did he tell her that he needed time to think over what she had said. Her eyes downcast once more, all she could tell was that he sat there, his warm palm motionless against her crimson cheek.
"S…Sango," Miroku finally uttered after what seemed an unbearable amount of time. "Hai, houshi-sama?" There was another moment of silence that Sango felt took entirely too long. Finally, "I do not want you to hurt. I do not want to see you shed another tear." Sango slowly looked up at him, meeting Miroku's stern violet eyes.
"If we do not defeat Naraku soon, then I am destined for death. And even if I live for a number of years, death is always looming above my head. I am a cursed man, Sango, and it is not me that you seem to love, but what I could have been." Sango did not understand. He seemed to understand her feelings for him but was he… was he turning her away?
"I could have been an honorable houshi. I could have been a respectable, wise man. But I am not and thus see no reason why someone such as yourself should shed tears for me. You should love my shadow, my reflection,… my outward appearances if anything. As I am, I can offer you nothing but more heartache.
"I understand that heartache is another part of life, and so I know that you will shed more tears in the future. However,… I would hope that the number of times you cry can be minimized. So I will leave it to you to decide which will force you to shed more tears: me getting up and turning away, telling you that I can never return your love… or staying by your side until my dying day, even if it be tomorrow? Decide, Sango, and I will do whichever will make you happiest."
Sango could not believe the words that Miroku had just spoken. His eyes were serious, and in them she could see nothing but honesty and… was that indeed love? Which will make me cry more? Loving him to death- literally- or allowing him to walk out of my life? Her lower lip shook with her emotions. Finally, she gave him her answer. "I would rather be in love for a single day than live the rest of my life cold and empty, houshi-sama."
Her heart skipped when she saw a wide grin surfacing on Miroku's face. "Really?" Sango nodded in affirmation. Taking her hands in his, Miroku said, "Then I have but one question to ask of you." Sango smiled and asked what it was, feeling that she already knew what it was. "Sango," he began solemnly, "… will you call me Miroku?"
She blinked in surprise. "Nani?" But… I thought he was going to ask me to…. Miroku smiled again. "I think it should be quite awkward for a wife to call her husband 'houshi-sama' all the time, ne?" Sango couldn't help but laugh. Leaning forward, she threw her arms around him in an embrace.
"Hai… and I'll even bear you a few children… Miroku-san."