Disclaimer: I own none of the characters.

I'm so glad those who read it enjoyed the beginning. I know it was sad but that's what I was aiming for.

I decided that this aftermath is going to be a series of chapters. I was thinking a chapter a Tracy.

Anyways, I think I'll start with Jeff, and then go down the line.

Part II :Jeff

"D-dad….I-I…scared…d-d-on't…w-w-wanna….g-go…"

Jeff's eyes snapped open as his heart skipped a beat. Inhaling, he steadied his breath out. Realizing that it was just another tormenting nightmare he sighed falling back into his pillow closing his red-rimmed eyes.

'Oh Alan…' He thought as the scene of three days ago played in his dreams. Feeling a light touch on his arm, Jeff opened his eyes wearily and turned his head slightly to see Gordon in a fitful sleep next to him. Jeff sighed at the sight, knowing that none of his sons had made an effort conceal their pain, and they had every right not to. They had all just lost their youngest brother.

"Alan…come back…" Jeff looked at Gordon again, coming close to tears at the words. He couldn't imagine how much Gordon was suffering. He had lost his other half.

Gordon had spent the past few days in endless, silent tears, and never more then arm stretch distance away from his father. Jeff had never seen him so alone or sad.

Deciding that he couldn't stay still anymore, he slowly sat up rubbing his raw eyes. Slowly standing up he turned back to the bed and pulled the cover that Gordon had managed to kick away back over his son. Turning away, he quietly walked across his room, exiting it and closing the door slowly behind him.

Leaning against the outside wall, he took in the silence of the house. Even though it was three o'clock in the morning it was quieter than it used to be. Pushing himself away from the wall, he slowly made his way down the hall.

Coming to the closest bedroom, which was Virgil's, he opened the door quietly and looked inside. The room was empty. Virgil was not in the room. Making another quick scan, Jeff slowly closed the door and slowly moved down to the next room.

Standing in front of Scott's door, he opened the door, and peered inside. His eyes fell upon Scott's bed. Scott was leaning with his back against his backboard with Virgil asleep next to him. Scott was asleep with his hand slightly resting on Virgil's back. Obviously Scott had been comforting Virgil, putting aside his own pain for the moment to help his younger brother.

Jeff felt pride in him, but his sorrow overcame it at the moment. Scott should be able to let his own grief go, but Jeff knew he wasn't that type of person, putting himself before others. It was always others before himself. That's all Scott knew.

Sadly sighing, he closed his eyes as tears started to well up in his eyes. Turning away, his closed his eyes and closed the door.

No matter how much he tried to push the thoughts away, the thought of Alan and the weight of Alan in his arms would always be there. A mark of time.

Running a hand over his face, he looked down the hall knowing his next destination. Walking down the hall, he passed Gordon's room slowing down as he approached the next room. Time seemed to slow down not letting him forget this moment.

Stopping in front of Alan's door, Jeff hesitated a while closing his eyes in contemplation. This wasn't the first time either.

Memories flooded back to moments like these, when Alan had stormed off into his room because a fight, with Jeff coming by later on, deciding on whether or not to check on Alan. It usually ended up with him deciding against it, knowing that some part of Alan needed him at the time, but he couldn't help.

Opening his eyes, he stared at the door. Knowing that there was nothing he could do, he opened the door as he had to the others and slowly entered the room. Looking around at the late-moonlit room, he noticed how the room was missing its charm. Looking over towards the bed, hoping that he had been dreaming the whole incident, he saw the outline of a figure asleep on the bed.

The figure was lying face down with an arm covering his face. The light that shun through the window showed the figure's light coloured hair. Jeff thought that it was just his mind playing tricks on him. He remembered how Alan used to sleep with his face hidden from the real world as he dreamed.

A few moments had passed and the figured remained. Jeff slowly began to move towards the bed. Coming to stand at the side of the bed, Jeff looked down as a pain shot across his heart. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

"John…" He said, resting a hand on top of his son's head. John's body moved a bit at the touch.

Jeff heard the slight sound of sniffles as, John raised his head, leaning on his elbows looking up at his dad. Jeff was heart stricken by the state that his son was in. He looked lost and looked as if he had only fallen asleep a little while ago.

"Dad." John said quietly shuffling over in the bed. Jeff slowly sat down on the bed as John moved into his supporting embrace. Jeff rested his head on John's head as he heard John sniff a few times.

"What are you doing in here?" Jeff asked quietly. He felt John lean against him even more, unsure as if to answer.

"I-I…I couldn't sleep in my room. It was too lonely." John answered quietly. Jeff understood what John meant, and tightened his embraced on John.

"I know. It's just……not the same." Jeff said. Jeff felt John nod slightly against his chest. John shifted and moved out of Jeff's embrace turning to face his father. Jeff saw the few tears run down John's face and wiped them away. John closed his eyes and sighed before opening them a minute later turning them to the window.

"Every moment I'm here I expect him to come running into the room, asking if one of us will come and do something with him. Before he came home, back a few months ago, I promised him I'd ask you if he and I could go to the mainland for a few days because of a place we saw in a magazine. I actually was going to ask you this week." John trailed off as more tears came, causing him to break down in sobs.

Jeff immediately pulled his son back into his arms, running his hands along John's back, trying to comfort him. His own tears fell from his eyes and disappeared into John's blonde locks.

"Shh…You're not the only one who feels that way. There are so many times I wanted to take Alan aside and spend more time with him, but I never got around to it. Something always seemed to pop-up. It was always you or your brothers who would end up taking Alan when that happened."

XXflashbackXX

"Come on daddy!" A little blonde boy of six called, smiling as he ran down the hall. Jeff, who was a few steps behind him, smiled at the energy and joy his son had.

"Alright. Hold your horses. I'm coming." Jeff said laughing as his son almost ran into the patio door. Alan turned to face his dad with a confused looked on his face. Turning his head to the left and right he looked back at Jeff.

"Horses? I don't have any horses." Alan said, puffing a strand of hair that managed to fall in front of his eyes. Jeff shook his head in amusement.

"Really? With all the energy you have, I thought you just raced past them all." Jeff joked causing his son to giggle.

'Yep! I'm superb-fast!" Alan chirped puffing his chest out in a pose. Jeff ruffled Alan's hair, making a note to get Alan a haircut soon.

"Dad." Came the deeper voice of his oldest son. Jeff turned around smiling as Scott came down the hall.

"What is it Scott?" Jeff asked, as Scott came to stand next to them. Scott ruffled Alan's hair.

"There's someone on the phone for you. He said it's important. Something to deal with the information you've been looking for." Scott said. Jeff mentally sighed.

'Not again.'

"Okay. Give me a minute Alan." Jeff said, seeing the slight frown starting to make its way on Alan's face, but it was quickly erased for the moment as Scott saw what was happening and pushed a finger against Alan's nose, amusing the kid.

Leaving the two, Jeff made his way to his office. Answering the phone, he soon got into the conversation and didn't realize that he had been talking for ten minutes.

Looking up he saw Scott and Alan in his doorway. Putting the person on hold for a minute Jeff walked over to Alan once again having to break up a father/son day.

"I'm sorry Allie, but I really have to work on this. Scott will take you. You'll still have fun." Jeff said, trying to persuade Alan. The pleading look on Alan's face was starting to get to Jeff. Looking up at his oldest son, he hoped that Scott would have time right now.

"Yeah, Allie. Come on. We'll go out and play." Scott said, picking his little brother up. Jeff stood up silently thanking Scott. He stood in the doorway watching the two go down the hallway, before turning around and going back to the phone.

XXend flashbackXX

Jeff closed his eyes as the memory flooded back.

"I almost feel as if I never was there for him." Jeff whispered. He felt John move and look up at his father.

"No. You were there. Not physically, but he always knew you were thinking of him, even if you were side tracked at the moment. Besides he could never forget his idol." John said. Jeff looked at the ground thinking about how many times that would be.

"You sure you're not talking about yourself or Scott?" Jeff asked, remembering the old jokes they had going around the table about who was Alan's number one star. John smiled faintly at the memory.

"We never came to an agreement, but I'm a nice person so I'll let you keep the title." John said trying to humour his dad and himself which worked for a while before he was welcomed into another embrace once again crying.

Jeff closed his eyes, leaning back on the bed. No matter what was said, he knew he regretted many of the choices he made when it came to Alan. Sighing he sat in the quiet room, listening to the random sniffs from John hoping that he one day might be able to fix this, but himself first.

Okay, so there's that done. Longer than I expected. I hope you enjoyed this. I'll get started on Scott's as soon as I get my other fics done first.

Please Review!

Devlinn Reiko