The group of Gryffindors seems to fall into a somewhat normal camaraderie over the next weekend. Lily had defrosted her cool attitude towards them, but could hardly bring herself to talk to James – her chest burned with offense everytime she recalled his fighting words. He'd called her naive, for Christ's sake. And still hadn't apologized outright. This grated her emotions more than she could explain why.
In potions class the following Monday, Lily was focused on siphoning her completed potion into a phial when Sirius – seizing the opportunity as Snape stepped away – sidled up to her, peering into her cauldron.
"Why do you like potions?" he asked, leaning his hip against the desk in a casual manner.
She glanced at him curiously out of the corner of her eye, carefully tapping her wand against the phial.
"I don't, I suppose," she said idly. She held the bottle up to the light, satisfied with its final color. "I just like the methodology of it. Once you understand the ingredients' properties and uses, it's quite easy to understand how they work together."
Sirius smirked. "So you don't like potions just because you get to play with knives?"
She breathed a laugh, performing a quick Evanesco to clear her cauldron. "That part of it does hold some appeal."
"I knew it," he taunted, moving back so she could walk around the desk.
"Are you done with your potion?"
He scoffed. "Far from it. I needed a bit of a break, actually."
She shrugged, leaving him behind to drop her finished potion onto Slughorn's desk ("Brilliantly done, Miss Evans! The perfect shade of turquoise.") before falling into her new ritual of heading towards the back of the room towards the cupboards (Snape gave her a pensive look in passing), she began to sort whatever was left that she hadn't already sorted.
The liquid-type ingredients were sorted through D when she was startled, someone knocking into the shelf in a way that rattled the glass jars and phials.
"Lily," Snape muttered, tone fervent. He loomed into her, eyes unfocused.
"Snape," she acknowledged, a bit confused. He looked feverish, sweat gathering at his temples and his face void of color. "What do you want?"
He swayed, eyes refocusing on her face with obvious effort. "I… I've been trying to tell you. That I knew something was going on with those – those marauders," he rasped, reaching out to clutch a shelf to maintain his balance.
Rather unimpressed, Lily glanced away, surveying the nearby students to see if anyone was paying attention to them. She caught sight of James looking back towards them curiously, but Sirius pulled his attention back towards his own cauldron.
"And what's that?" she asked dully.
When she looked back towards him, his eyes seemed wild as more sweat trickled over his forehead. He wiped it away impatiently, leaving a dark purple smear across his forehead; some residue from the thistleweed they'd been using for the potion.
"I – I'm going to find out," he hissed, grabbing onto Lily's arm tightly. "And you're going to help me prove it – whatever they're doing is illegal," he murmured. "You must already know."
Lily's stomach dropped. Was he referring to the Game? Surely playing an idle game of tag wasn't illegal.
"Snape," she warned quietly, trying to shake off his grip. "I"m going to do no such thing as I have no idea what you're talking about."
He nearly seized up in anger, pressing closer, his expression dark. "You will meet me – tonight – in the trophy room."
"Snape," she resisted, bringing her hand up to claw at his grip. "Let go."
"And I can finally prove to you –" he shivered violently, eyes rolling, before he recovered himself, "What they're really like. Black. Lupin. Potter. And you – "
"Snape," she hissed in realization, seeing his eyes roll again. She moved to raise her hand to gain Slughorn's attention. "The potion – you must've –"
"No," he snarled suddenly, grabbing onto both her arms and pulling her closer. "You're not listening. Tonight. Eleven o'clock. Or else –"
"Or else what?" she snapped, struggling out of his grip. "Professor!"
Her sharp call caused many heads to turn her way, but she didn't care. Slughorn jumped up swiftly, nearing them with quick steps. "Miss Evans?"
"Severus must've had a reaction to the potion – he's delirious," she explained briskly, adamantly ignoring Snape's glare.
Slughorn raised his wand, examining him closely. "Oh, dear. Poppy will not be pleased with me – second student this week, I fear," he murmured.
Snape swayed dangerously on his feet. Slughorn reached out to balance him. "Better take him to the infirmary."
Lily worried for a moment that meant her, but Slughorn placed his other hand onto Snape's shoulder, turning him towards the door. "Miss Evans, would you mind assisting your classmates as they finish their potion? I had nearly everyone's turned it in."
"Of course," she agreed, tinged with relief. She watched as he guided Snape out of the classroom, the Slytherin near stumbling over his feet, beginning to moan in discomfort.
"What was that about?" James asked as she walked past his and Sirius's desk on the way back up the aisle towards the front of the classroom.
"He must've spilled some of the Confoundment Draught on himself, or something," she murmured, thinking over the odd conversation she'd just had.
He had mentioned meeting her tonight – to prove something. But they had no Game planned. What would he want to show her…?
"Did he say something odd?" Sirius questioned curiously, studying her closely.
She caught his gaze, perplexed at his accusing tone. Lily debated with herself for a moment, a peculiar feeling in her chest. "Just some nonsense about apologizing – about – nothing really," she responded, watching his reaction. "Nothing intelligible, truthfully."
Sirius gave away no emotion to her answer, allowing her suspicion to grow. Had he said something to Snape?
"Bad luck, then," James cut in, breaking the sudden tension. "Hope he recovers well, eh, Padfoot?"
"You didn't do something, did you?" she accused warily.
The two boys held similar styles of innocence over their faces. "Us? Of course not, Evs. I'm offended you'd assume that."
She scoffed. "Get your potions done quick, we can leave early if everyone hands theirs in."
"Evans," James said in surprise with a grin. "End class early?"
"Shut it," she sniped, moving past them to check on the others.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
She had that unsettled feeling in her stomach. When something's not quite sitting right and you can't quite put your finger on it. And no matter how many times Lily tried to shake off the feeling, it clung to her more strongly, her heart and stomach tightening more each time.
"What's wrong?" Marlene asked from across the table at lunch. "Something seems off."
"Nothing's wrong," Lily responded, willing herself to believe her own words. "Just not feeling that hungry. I think the fumes from Potions got to me."
Marlene hummed. "What potions were you working on today?"
Her mind blanked. "Oh. It was the…"
Marlene looked at her strangely.
"It was a variation of the Confundus Concoction," Sirius stepped in, giving her an odd look.
"Oh, right," she said with a light laugh. "I must've been standing too close to the cauldron myself."
"Snape had to go to the infirmary," James explained at Marlene's curious look. "Purely coincidence."
Was it, though? Lily glanced at Sirius out of the corner of her eye. He had returned to eating his meal, unbothered.
"He could stand to be in there for a day or two – help heal that foul mood," Marlene said wryly.
"Mar," Lily murmured chastisingly.
She shrugged.
The table fell into quiet chatter, talking about random matters that Lily couldn't bring herself to care about.
That feeling had settled just below her ribs, right where she'd broken them not two weeks ago. She took a bit out of her crisps, a bit numbly.
Defense classes continued with Donahue ignoring Lily's presence. If she had a true question, she'd either bite her tongue, or pass it in a note to Marlene to ask.
This particular tactic worked towards her benefit; it's not like she could pay much attention either way. Snape's befuddled words to her kept echoing in her mind.
Eleven o'clock. Tonight. Meet me.
She'd go to him before then, damnit. She wasn't going to play guessing games. She'd head to the infirmary immediately after Defense to demand to see him.
Unbidden, a small part of her mind couldn't help but wonder if it was a set-up. Revenge for having told Dumbledore about his presence on Halloween. About how he'd been set to leave… but he hadn't left, had he? Dumbledore had said…
But regardless, they were no longer friends. She no longer understood him or his motives.
A hard knock against her elbow caused her to jerk violently, knocking over her ink jar.
"Merlin," Marlene cackled. "Where were you? Donahell's dismissed us. Let's get out of here before we give him a chance to take points or give us a detention."
Lily nodded, gathering her things quickly to join Marlene, who'd been waiting.
"Are you alright?" she asked. "You seem off. Not your normal self."
"Just stressed," she answered, which was the truth. "Too many essays to work on."
Marlene huffed, nodding in agreement. "I've got to turn in my Muggle Studies Essay next period. I literally don't understand why every assignment needs to be about elek-icity."
"Electricity," she corrected absentmindedly, following her out of the classroom. "I'm sure your paper will be great."
Marlene sighed, shrugged. "I guess we'll find out. See you later?"
"Of course," she replied, waving until Marlene turned on her heel, parting ways towards the other side of the corridor.
Lily turned sharply on her heel to head towards the hospital wing.
"Where're you headed?" Sirius called behind her, halting her movements.
Feeling a bit like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar, Lily schooled her features, turning back to face him. James stood beside him, curiously watching the exchange. "Sorry?"
"Where are you off to?" Sirius repeated, watching her intently.
"To the lavatory," she said, a bit petulantly. "Is that allowed?"
James chuckled. "Sure. But isn't it that way?" He hooked his thumb over his shoulder, pointing towards the opposite way she'd been heading.
"Yes," she acknowledged begrudgingly, glaring. "But I needed to see Professor Binns first."
"Alright," James responded, obviously aware of her lie. "We were going to head to the courtyard, if you wanted to join."
She declined. "Thanks for the offer," she added, already turning away. She felt the weight of Sirius's gaze until they must've turned and walked away themselves.
The infirmary, however, was empty.
"Madam Pomfrey?" she called, heading back towards the healer's office.
"Miss Evans?" Pomfrey called from within, concerned. She quickly emerged from behind the glass doors. "What's happened this time?".
"Nothing," Lily answered breathlessly with a smile. "I just wanted to check on Severus. Slughorn had accompanied him earlier after being exposed to a potion?"
"That boy," Pomfrey huffed. "Drank the healing potion and left without observation – but made sure to let me know that he could've made the potion better himself," she said, tone sharp.
That was definitely Severus.
"Any idea where he ran off to?" Lily asked instead. "I wanted to give him the rest of the homework he missed the next period."
"I'm sorry, Miss Evans. I can't say I had the chance to ask where he was headed to. Keep an eye out for him though, I hadn't gotten a chance to check his recovery before he left."
"I will," Lily assured, but she doubted he would have returned to class after he left the hospital wing.
Most obviously, he would have gone back to the Slytherin common room – and no way was she going to try and ask around for him. But possibly under the guise of prefect business…?
She yelped as she exited through the door, nearly running into James's tall frame, having been leaned back against the doorframe just outside the infirmary entrance. Sirius lounged against the wall across the way, idly spinning his wand between his fingers.
"God. What are you doing here? Didn't you say you were going to the courtyard?"
"Prongs here thought that I might need a pepper-up potion," Sirius answered easily. "Got a bit of a headache after listening to Donahell's voice for so long. Didn't expect to run into you here, though."
Whether it was his accusatory tone or his overtly casual manner, Lily's temper rose. The lies were becoming easy. This time, she went for discomfort. "I needed something for my cramps," she stated unashamedly, positive they must've been following her. "You know, for my period?"
As expected, both boys looked away, properly embarrassed by the topic. She bit back a smile in satisfaction.
When she'd turned her back, she could hear Sirius snicker. "Sounds like someone else has got their monthlies."
It was a curious, let alone absolutely ignorant thing he had said, and she'd tell him that if she were willing to confront him at that moment, but she'd already rounded the corner of the corridor.
She was able to find solstice in the library at her normal table, where she had stayed until Emmeline found her, collecting a set of books for herbology. "Hey," the 7th Year greeted warmly. "You heading to dinner soon?"
"It's almost dinner time?" she asked in surprise. "I mean, yes, if you're heading down, I'll join you."
"Have you been here the whole time? I think Marlene was looking for you earlier."
"Ah, yeah, I think I just got sucked into this book. I hadn't realized how much time had passed," she murmured as she collected her things.
"Well, come on then. I am starving," Emmeline teased, waiting patiently.
"Thank you for finding me – I'm sure I would've been in here until I got kicked out," Lily chuckled, shouldering her bag.
Everyone was already at the dinner table when the two girls joined them, already well into their first servings.
"No Remus?" Lily asked, dishing herself up a plate.
"Sick again," Peter answered, his mouth full.
Lily winced, empathetic, thinking of how he seemed to just recover from a sickness a few weeks ago. Her attention was pulled away as she scanned the Slytherin table, searching for signs of Severus's familiar head of hair. There was none.
Eleven o'clock. Trophy room. Meet me.
In a very self-aware manner, Lily knew that she still held some allegiance towards Snape. That she hated to see him hurt. Worried about him, when she really wished she wouldn't. If he wasn't in his right mind, wandering the school grounds. The wild look in his eye as he had grabbed onto her.
She shivered.
"You alright?" Alice asked, having joined them for a rare occasion.
"Oh," Lily said, conscious of the gazes she had attracted. "Just felt a draft, you know? Can't believe it's started to get so cold."
Alice nodded in agreement, looking up at the dark sky. Though there was no snow, it certainly felt like it was coming.
"It's November," Sirius pointed out. "It's normally cold, innit?"
Lily refrained from glaring. "I just… wasn't ready for it to get cold yet."
Later, as she watched the clock in the common room, she felt as if she were being physically tortured, chest tight and fingers numb from where she'd wrung them tight.
Tonight. Eleven o'clock. Or else.
Her friends had long ago given up on trying to hold a conversation with her. She'd settled into one of the lone seaters, huddled into herself as she continued to glance at the page of the book in front of her and the clock over the mantle of the hearth.
As curfew slowly ticked by and the students began to filter up to their own dormitories, doubt began to fill Lily. Should she tell Marlene about what Snape had said? About meeting? Should she make her come with?
On the other hand, she hadn't told Snape she'd meet him. She was under no obligation to fulfill his request by arriving at the Trophy Room, at eleven o'clock on the dot.
Lily rubbed at her face tiredly, feeling a headache coming on. How did she get herself into these situations…
When Marlene prompted her to join her to the dormitory, Lily felt she couldn't decline. At half past ten, she dressed in the plainest pajamas she had, her decision still unmade on whether or not she'd sneak from the dorm and meet Snape.
It wasn't long before the sounds of Marlene's snuffles and Alice's deep breathing filled the dark dormitory. The only other detectable sound was that of the clock on her nightstand and the pounding of her heart in her ears.
She squeezed her eyes tight, gathering courage to whip the covers off of herself. As quietly as she could, Lily pulled on her school robe over her nightshirt and slipped into her trainers, chancing one last glance towards the closed curtains of her friends.
They remained shut, unmoving.
The sound of the dormitory dorm shutting might have been the loudest sound in existence, Lily thought, as she turned and bolted down the steps, making quick work of the common room.
When the portrait was closed behind her, she paused.
Dear God, what am I doing?
What if her friends caught her sneaking back into the dorm? What if she got caught meeting Snape, of all people, and got detention? She wouldn't be able to face her friends.
After a frozen moment, she forcibly shook herself. She couldn't not go. Her decision had already been made as soon as Snape asked her.
She did find, however, that she had never felt more paranoid in her whole life at Hogwarts as she tiptoed down the staircases towards the Great Hall. The littlest noises caused her to jerk in surprise. Her heart was stuck in her throat. Her wand felt heavy in her pocket; she wasn't even sure if she could manage a strong enough grip to pull it out and aim.
The Entrance Hall was dark; hauntingly so. Had it always appeared this way? Lily wondered.
A hand grabbed her elbow, roughly, pulling her backwards. She screamed and a sweaty palm clapped over her mouth to stop the noise.
"Bloody calm down," Snape hissed against her ear as she struggled. He finally released her and she whirled, shoving at him in anger.
"What the hell," she spat. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"You didn't need to scream," he spat in defense. "You'll wake –"
"Just tell me why we're here, Snape," she demanded between clenched teeth, her heart still thundering. "I thought you said the trophy room?"
"I needed to make sure you were bringing anyone with you," he said, glancing about as if he thought she had.
"I'm alone," she confirmed viciously. "As you can see. Now tell me why I'm here."
He laughed derisively. "As if you don't already know."
She fought against the desire to pinch the bridge of her nose. "If I knew, Snape, I wouldn't be here."
"I have proof," he spat, ignoring her snarky response. He stepped closer to her into the shining moonlight and she could see the same wild, dazed look in his eyes that he had in the potions classroom.
He reached forward, grabbing her arm just above the elbow as he began to pull her towards the doors that led to outside.
"Let go of my arm," she hissed. "It's freezing out there – stop."
He didn't listen, a man possessed, as he started to haul her towards the castle's entrance, raising his wand to wordlessly open the doors.
"Severus. Stop." She used her nails to rake against his iron-grip, but he didn't seem to notice.
"You need to see this – with your own eyes – I knew they were hiding something. Something wasn't ever right about him. Disappearances, getting sick, his mother. They were all helping him." He was muttering under this breath.
Lily struggled to keep up as she tripped over her feet, her breaths billowing clouds in the cold air as she fought against his grip. "Stop. Tell me what you're talking about."
He didn't respond. In a desperate attempt to get him to stop, she kicked him in the back of the knee.
It worked. He stumbled forward, nearly taking her down with him.
He sighed, impatient. "Don't act so stupid, Lily," he said harshly. From under the light of the moon, she could see the sweat was running in rivulets down his face, his hair soaked.
"Sev, you're obviously not well. Please. Let's go back inside – go back to the infirmary –"
"I'm not sick," he spat. "Quit playing innocent – I know you've been helping them – helping them hide Lupin's illness."
He reached out to grab back into her arm and she was too slow to scramble out of his reach.
"Ow! Sev – let me go or I'll –"
"You'll what, Lily?" he asked harshly as he pulled her down the path through the courtyard. "Have your boyfriend sic Lupin on me?"
"Alright, that's it!" Lily raged, reaching for her wand with her free hand. In a maneuver similar to how she warded off Avery, she pushed her anger into her wand, pressing it against his grip.
He helped, let her go, but spun to face her, furious. "I know you're helping them hide it!" he roared. "Hiding a monster –"
"Snape," she interjected, utterly bewildered. "The only monster I can see is you! Mulciber and Avery –"
He seemed to recall the night rather quickly, his face falling into a mournful expression. "That wasn't supposed to happen – You shouldn't have been out after hours. You –"
"Don't make it out to be my fault, Severus! Your friends beat me. If Sirius and James hadn't shown up –"
He scoffed angrily. "Of course you have to bring them up – you've been fawning all over them this year! I've seen it. They've got you fooled, Lily, can't you see? You've turned into one of those daft sluts who –"
"I'm going back inside, Snape," she said coldly, turning on her heel quickly to get away from him.
She screeched loudly when his arm came around her waist and hauled her back against him, her legs kicking out helplessly. This time she fought viciously, using her body weight to try and break free.
"Severus!" she yelled furiously.
He wrangled her wand out of her hand when she tried to thrust it behind herself towards his face, unrepentant of her actions. "Severus," she croaked, watching as he chucked it over their shoulders into the grass.
"Evans?!" a voice called across the courtyard. "SNAPE!"
A quick rush of relief filled her, she swung her head to catch sight of James as he stumbled through the columns of the courtyard's structure.
Snape froze, his arms encased like bars around her.
"What are you DOING!" James's voice rang out.
At the sound, Snape spun around quickly, dragging Lily with him as he brandished his wand towards James. "Get away," he spat, his wand unwavering.
"Calm down," James said cautiously, scanning to assess the situation. He glanced over his shoulder the way he had come, holding his hands out in surrender as he did so in a manner to placate Snape.
"Shut up!" Snape snapped, sparks flying from his wand. "I know what you and your friends have been hiding. Protecting a beast. Just wait till I announce it to the school, to the student –"
James was approaching with measured steps. "Do whatever you want, Snape. Just – let Lily go. She has nothing to do with this."
"Right," he growled scornfully, pulling her backwards as he shuffled them closer to the courtyard's exit. "As if you all aren't already sharing secrets."
"He's ill," Lily cut in, clawing at his arm. She looked at James desperately. "Delusional from whatever happened in Potions –"
Snape tightened his hold around her waist, stealing her breath. "I'm going to show her what it is that you're hiding then. How you've got everyone tricked into thinking you're the popular kids – the poster boy of Gryffindor," he spat.
James stepped closer, though he was still across the courtyard's lawn. "She's not going with you."
Snape scoffed, hauling her closer. "She needs to see the truth." He pointed towards the forest. "What will surely be the golden boys downfall –"
His grip had loosened and Lily took the opportunity to swing her elbow back – hard – hitting him in his diaphragm. He spluttered, coughed, shoving her away as he folded over in pain.
She tumbled forward clumsily, barely catching herself, but James was already there.
"Get out of here," he ordered hastily, dragging her away from Snape's hunched form. "Go inside – lock the door." His tone was a worrying combination of fury and panic, something she'd never heard come from him.
"My wand," she protested still, pointing in the area she had seen it get tossed.
With an impatient flick, he cast, "Accio Lily's wand," and it soared through the air where he caught it expertly. "Here. Now go."
"He's honestly ill, I think," she fought, even as he continued to direct her backwards towards the castle's entrance. "I don't know what he's saying. I don't think even he knows."
"He knows what he's saying," James said furiously, pulling her behind one of the columns. "I just don't know how. Or what he's going to try to do. I've got to stop him."
"From doing what?" Lily asked in exasperation, resisting his hold.
He didn't respond, peering around the stone pillar. "Shit," he cursed. "He's gone. I've got to go – stay here. Out of sight."
"But –"
Her breath stuttered when James stopped suddenly to stoop to her eye-level, his face so close she could probably count his eyelashes behind his glasses. His hands shook where they were pressed against her upper arms. "I need you to stay hidden, Lily. I can't explain right now – but you have to stay out of sight."
She nodded, shaken by his tone, and watched as he took off, his long legs carrying him faster than Lily could ever hope to run herself.
With little thought, she followed him regardless, nearly losing sight of his figure in the dark, but found herself thankful for the light of the full moon overhead as it was bright enough to guide her way.
Lily had barely stepped a foot back into the open grass beyond the courtyard when she was tackled from behind. She screamed, finding herself once more struggling against the cage of arms around her.
"What are you doing?" Sirius hissed into her ear.
"Sirius?" she said in disbelief. He quickly released her and she spun to face him.
He was breathing hard, hair disheveled and eyes wild. "What the bloody hell are you doing out here?" he demanded, eyes darting around towards the forest. He didn't give her time to respond. "I've got to get you inside. Now."
His tone scared her into compliance. He grabbed her hand and tugged her along back towards the castle, but a sound caught her attention. She glanced back towards the forest – near the Whomping Willow – realizing it was the way James had gone off to. She strained to listen – grass rustling, the huff of an animal?
"We're running from something," Lily realized out loud, panicked. "Where did James go? Where's Snape?"
"Keep moving," Sirius snapped, pulling her in front of him to shove her forward.
From somewhere beyond, a snarl echoed across the grounds, and she glanced back, scared, halting so that Sirius nearly ran into her. "Are they in danger?" she demanded.
"I've got to get you inside," Sirius hissed, trying to move her.
They froze as they heard shouts from behind them.
"Geroff!" Snape's voice echoed through the grounds. "Potter!"
"Where –" Lily began, confused.
Movement caught her eye at the base of the Whomping Willow.
With growing horror, she watched as James pulled a struggling Snape from a hole near the roots of the tree. Snape stumbled, tripping over his feet and falling to the ground. James physically hauled him up, trying to right him.
She didn't notice she had been running towards them until she heard Sirius shouting her name and his footsteps behind her. Like before, he tackled her to stop her.
It was too late. James and Snape had caught sight of both of them.
"Padfoot!" James roared, physically dragging Snape by his robe. "Get her inside! Now!"
Snape used his foot to hitch himself at a root, causing the two boys to fall backwards. As they fell, the source of the snarling revealed itself; a furry dark head with snapping teeth and slobber emerged from the hole James and Snape had just crawled out of.
The creature struggled, its shoulders catching at the opening so that only one clawed hand could reach outward, arm stretched towards the two fallen boys. Its claw nearly grabbed onto James's foot as he crawled away, somehow miraculously pulling Snape with him.
"Stop fighting!"
For a moment, Lily had thought it had been James that had shouted at Snape, but quickly realized it was Sirius yelling at her. She was fighting against his grip to try and get to the two boys – to try and help them get away.
"The Willow!" she shouted with horror. "It'll kill them!"
"They're fine," Sirius snapped in frustration, dragging her backwards by looping his arms under her armpits.
She watched with abject terror as James struggled to pull Snape further away from the creature – a werewolf.
The Whomping Willow, however, stood eerily still.
Snape must've still been delirious; he was fighting against James to get closer to the werewolf. Lily realized this is what he must've been referring to – what secret the marauders must've been keeping.
Because with utmost certainty, Lily knew they had known about the creature. In the way James had ordered inside, the way that Sirius was trying to do the same.
The werewolf was still snarling viciously at the base of the tree, digging and fighting to get free. The sound of bark and dirt being torn up from the ground could be heard.
James must've had enough. Lily heard him shout "Stupefy," and she winced as the bright red spell hit Snape in the back. With the limp body of the Slytherin in tow, James was able to move much more quickly, pulling Snape with him towards where Sirius and Lily were standing.
"GO!" he shouted as he rushed towards them.
Knowing that James was finally safe (or as safe as he could be in this situation), Lily found herself more receptive to the demand.
The sounds of growls and snarls echoed behind them ominously, giving Lily motivation to move as fast as she could. By the time the three Gryffindors (and one unconscious Slytherin) made it to the entrance doors, Lily's lungs were burning.
The sounds of the werewolf were far behind them.
Sirius shut the door securely with a loud bang once they were all safely inside. James dropped Snape's unresponsive form onto the floor carelessly, turning his heated gaze onto his best friend.
Lily kneeled to check Snape, examining where his head where it had smacked rather hard against the stone floor. She sent a glare towards James, but it went unnoticed.
"Prongs," Sirius started, tone contrite.
James was glaring, his expression cold, shuttered. "I can't believe you would be that bloody fucking stupid, Padfoot."
Sirius flinched as if he had hit him. "I didn't think he'd actually do it," he retorted, gesturing angrily at Snape.
"Of course he'd do it!" James roared. "You know how he is!"
"Keep your voices down!" Lily hissed harshly. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"
James didn't spare her a glance, but instead scoffed angrily. "Snape could've been killed," he said with quiet fury.
"As if he didn't deserve it – after –"
James's teeth snapped in fury. "What would that have done to him, Sirius? Did you think about that at all? Did you think about what you're fucking stupid idea would've done? He couldn't survive that."
Sirius looked away from James's stare, swallowing hard.
"What is happening?" she demanded.
James finally looked at her, the sharp intensity of his gaze chilling her to the bone. His eyes dropped onto Snape's slumped form. "I'm going to take him back to the Slytherin common room," he informed them in a cold tone. "Hopefully someone will find him in the corridor."
This time, he used a spell to carry Snape's body behind him and left the Entrance Hall. He didn't look back once.
"Sirius –"
"Don't," Sirius bit harshly, turning his back on her and heading back towards the doors.
"Where are you going?" Lily asked in alarm. "You can't go back out there!"
"Go back to the common room, Evs," he said.
"I'm not letting you go back –"
"GO," he shouted. "I'm not fighting you on this!"
Lily was shaken – never had she seen Sirius this way and never had he raised his voice toward her this way.
She watched, frozen, as he turned and threw open the doors to the outside, stepping back out into the night.
Her hands felt numb as she made the way back to the Gryffindor tower by herself, mentally spiraling as she considered all that she'd just witnessed.
Snape had been told something by Sirius. James and Sirius had been outside. There was a werewolf on the grounds. The two Marauders hadn't been surprised. She thought back to what Snape had been rambling, what she had thought originally nonsensical things due to his fever.
Quit playing innocent. I know you've been helping them – helping them hide Lupin's illness.
Illness.
God, it… couldn't have been him, could it have been? That thing that had been clawing to get out from the roots among the Whomping Willow?
Remus's trips to the infirmary. His visits to his mum.
James's harsh chastisement towards Sirius. What would that have done to him, Sirius? Did you think about that at all? He couldn't survive that.
She was trembling, processing what she had seen, what her mind could piece together.
Remus was… a werewolf?
"Do you want in, dear?" the Fat Lady said gently. "Are you quite alright?"
Lily startled in surprise, unaware of how long she'd been standing at the entrance. "Oh, yes, I'm sorry," she said, surprised by her shaky tone. "Acta non verba."
"Go on and get some rest, love," the Fat Lady ordered kindly. "You look like you need it."
She climbed through, silently agreeing with the woman. Her stomach churned, thinking of the danger the boys had put themselves in. How Sirius had gone back out…
She felt numb most of all, all adrenaline drained. The clock now read past midnight as she ascended the staircase to the dormitory.
The two others still slumbered.
Lily pulled off her robe and collapsed into bed. It took her a while to stop shaking and even longer to fall asleep.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
"Get up!" Marlene's voice shouted into her ear the next morning.
Lily jolted awake, nearly smacking her head into Marlene's chin. "I'm up," she groaned, rubbing her eyes against the bright light of the morning sun.
"Good," Marlene responded. "I've been trying to get you up for the last twenty minutes. You'll be late to breakfast."
Lily moaned in annoyance, pulling herself up into a seated position. Her eyes burned from the lack of sleep and the beginning of a headache had settled into her temples.
She jerked suddenly, the thought struck her abruptly and violently. Remus.
Marlene looked at her strangely, concerned by her random reaction.
"I've got to – get to the infirmary," she muttered, throwing off her sheets, grimacing at the grass and dirt stained on her pajama bottoms. She changed swiftly in order to stop Marlene from seeing them, asking questions.
"Are you alright?" Marlene asked.
"I don't – feel well," she said jerkily, throwing on her uniform haphazardly.
"Do you need help making it down there? You don't look well. What's happened?"
Lily looked over her shoulder at her friend, catching her dubious look. "I just think I need a pepper-up potion or something," she murmured, tugging on her shoes. "I must have a bug or something."
"Okay," Marlene said, still watching her carefully. "Would you like me to grab you a pastry from breakfast?"
Lily smiled earnestly. "That'd be wonderful, actually. I don't think it'll take too long, but yes, I'd love one."
Marlene nodded, smiled, and left the dormitory after checking on Lily one last time.
The Common Room was busy, filled with chatter as the students milled about before heading down to the Great Hall.
Lily felt in awe of it, how unaware they were, that she felt a little bit like her world had been changed. She winced, thinking of Remus, how careful he felt like how he had to be, how different he must feel as he sat among them, worried about his… illness. She winced again, hating how she thought it.
She was out of breath by the time she'd made it to the hospital wing.
Gently, she pushed open the heavy oak doors to the Infirmary, peering through the doorway to search the room. There. At the very end of the room, was a bed hidden by a privacy curtain. Distantly, she could hear soft murmurs, shadows beyond the fabric.
Emboldened, she stepped through the doorway fully and walked quietly towards the occupied bed. It wasn't until she got closer that she was at a loss of what to say.
"Hello?" she asked quietly.
She jumped when the curtain was torn aside, revealing Peter, Sirius, James, and Remus.
Remus, poor Remus, who looked worse for wear, a large bandage taped over his left cheek, already stained through a pale pink. He managed to work up the effort to smile at her, his eyes sad.
"Hello, Lily," he greeted softly, his voice hoarse. He motioned for her to come closer.
The air in the room was taut with awkward tension among the three. She shifted, uncomfortable until she acquiesced to his request, taking small steps towards the bed.
"Is it alright to talk with Remus?" she asked the others, though none could meet her gaze.
"I've got class," James excused himself, brushing past Sirius roughly.
Lily turned her head politely, pretending as if she did not see the look of immense hurt flash across Sirius's face. "See you later," he muttered, following James out of the room, Peter following closely behind.
Lily moved around the bed frame, sitting down on the bed near Remus's feet. "So…"
"So…" he repeated with a wry smile. "It seems you know my secret?"
She wrung her hands. Nodded. Took a breath. "And it's your secret to tell, Remus. I want you to know I would never question your or our friendship. You've always been so kind, so helpful to me. And I want you to know that I will take this to my grave. I'm so sorry that – that – you've had to hide this and what you've gone through and I want to be there for you – in whatever way I can."
He was smiling when she glanced back at his face. "Thank you," he said softly. Though he was smiling, Lily could tell this weighed heavy on him.
"I would never judge you, Remus," she whispered wholeheartedly, feeling emotional.
"Thank you," he repeated, just as sincerely.
She reached forward and grabbed his hand, giving him a watery smile.
"I can't even… imagine the courage you have, Remus. I know, I know, you're not a martyr but…" she fell quiet for a moment, before a giggle escaped her. "I get so many of your guys' jokes now," she laughed.
He chuckled. "I mean, there are only so many jokes about hairy man-boys Sirius can tell."
"God, 'Moony'." She snorted. "You guys couldn't come up with anything smarter?"
Remus laughed – loudly – and stopped short as he grabbed his ribs in pain, grimacing. "Oh, Merlin, don't make me laugh. It hurts."
She chuckled, trying to discreetly wipe away the wetness at the corner of her eyes. "It's not my fault that you boys are unoriginal."
He grinned wryly. "Yeah, it's not Sirius's best quip."
"Certainly not," she agreed with her own grin, as their mirth settled. She hummed. "You don't have to talk about it know – but you must know I have a thousand questions for you."
He nodded, somewhat somber. "I understand."
"Not that you have to answer them – ever, really, Remus. I meant it when I said I would be there for you."
Remus nodded once more, grateful. He shrugged. "Ask away."
"I guess I'll start with – how are you feeling?"
"Sore," he admitted. "It's not an easy thing, to transform."
"And it's just James and Sirius? Peter? They know about you?"
He nodded. "Since Christmas of 2nd year," he shared. "I couldn't imagine better friends."
Lily cast her thoughts back to that year. humming. Had she noticed a change in their demeanor? Had they always been that close, or had them finding out Remus's secret help solidified the four boys' friendship?
Regardless, she couldn't help but feel her respect for them grow.
"Why didn't you share this with anyone else?"
At this, he looked anguished. "I guess, I don't want to be treated any differently. As a muggleborn, do you know much about werewolves in the wizarding community?"
Lily knew he didn't ask the question meanly. She shook her head no. "I only know what I've read," she acknowledged.
"They – we," he corrected softly, "aren't very welcomed. People still see werewolves as being wild beasts – dangerous and unable to control their actions."
"How long since…?"
"I was bitten? I was attacked when I was five."
"So you've been like this as long as you can remember."
He nodded.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize for this – it's not like you could have stopped it," he murmured bitterly.
"I'm sorry," she continued, tone chastising him for interrupting. "That you felt like you needed to hide this."
"Thanks, Lily," he said softly, returning the squeeze of her hand.
"What's going to happen with Snape?" she asked in a quiet voice.
He sighed heavily and looked away. "I've asked for Dumbledore to come speak with me. He'll be arriving shortly, actually. I just hope they won't kick me out."
Lily gasped. "Why would he expel you? You've done nothing wrong! Remus, you've got the best grades of the year, you're a prefect – and you're –"
"A werewolf," he added dryly.
She punched him hard in the thigh. "Listen, you dolt. I've never known you to be self-deprecating. You're not going to start now."
"Lily –"
"Remus," she interrupted, matching his tone. "Talk to Dumbledore. He'll understand."
"I know," he sighed, picking at the quilt that covered him. "I'm just not sure anyone else will."
The weight of his words, the feelings behind them, punched Lily in the gut. She reached forward to pull him into a hug. He returned it, after a moment, leaning into her.
"Besides," she murmured into his shoulder. "I can't be losing my patrol partner, can I? God, I can't be paired with McLaggen."
She pulled away, noticing his pink cheeks.
"We can't have that," he smiled ruefully. "Thank you, Lily. For coming to see me…"
She waved him off. "I should be getting to class. I just want you to know that I'm there for your Remus, for whatever."
His smile was earnest. "I'll see you later, Lily."
"Later, Remus," she murmured, leaving his bedside, feeling both heavier and lighter than she'd expected.
When she exited the infirmary, she was surprised to find the corridor empty. She expected to see Sirius or James waiting for her, but there was no sight of them.
Unsure how to feel about that, Lily headed towards the Great Hall, hoping she'd still run into Marlene and the others.
While she knew that Remus had not willingly shared his secret with her, she hoped he'd trust her willingness to keep his secret safe.
And while she might be patient with asking Remus questions, she would not be patient with finding his friends to ask them.