A/N: K, so I realize I haven't updated this in forever, but do bear with me. Have been writing other pieces, or just not writing at all. But here is the next section in seasons change, hope you enjoy. I kind of wrote myself into a corner here, but I'll try and struggle my way out.
Disclaimer: The only ones I own you never saw on TV.
The next two days in the Gregory household passed mostly without incident. The sun rose and the sun set, as it has a tendency to do, and the tides rolled in and out. The initial shock of seeing Erika's doppelganger passed, though Linda was well aware of the occasional double take when she passed quickly through a room. Jay stopped by the house more, though Bradin came out of his room less. He and Linda generally avoided each other, as she spent most of her time in Jay's old apartment, and only came into the house when she knew he wasn't around.
Linda's wounds began their slow healing. She'd bandaged her hands, covering the split knuckles. The swelling in her face lessened, though the dark, ugly bruises remained. She felt strange, walking around in a dead woman's clothes, but she was short on way of options. She'd caught Jay a few times, stopping himself from calling her Erika. Still, just when everything had seemed to begin to settle, the end of the week arrived and whatever thin line of peace connected the house broke.
Jay hadn't shown up for dinner Thrusday night. Bradin sat in a daze the whole time he was at the table, eating two or three forkfuls of food at most. His blue eyes were half lidded and glazed, and his face was ashen. Linda had come inside when the kids had gone to their rooms, and she realized that neither Johnny nor Ava could look directly at her. Ava brushed by her without a word, up the stairs and into her workroom.
The raven haired girl glanced to Johnny, who was staring fixedly into his cup f coffee. "What did I do?" she asked, confused.
"You didn't do anything," he said shortly. After dumping what remained of his coffee in the sink, he too hurried away. Linda blew out a heavy sigh, then went to the fridge.
The next morning dawned clear and sunny. Bradin could see the sun blazing down outside his window. The weather was a cruel mockery of the day, and he quickly shut his blinds. Ava would let him stay home from school if he asked he was sure, but he didn't. As much as he dreaded school, loathed the thought of running into Sarah, he couldn't stomach the thought of staying in the house.
His bag was propped against his desk in the far corner of the room. He pushed himself over and yanked the bag into his lap. He unzipped the side pocket, digging down past crumpled slips of paper and gum wrappers and pulled out a flat square of blue plastic, no larger than a condom wrapper. A little white dolphin was drawn on the front, in the middle of a leap. He turned it over in his fingers a few times, staring at it like it might suddenly decide to give him answers. He pinched the oval pill inside between his thumb and forefinger.
The pills had been in his bag for three days. He'd bought two from the kid at school in the back hall the day he'd seen Sarah. He'd thought about it, hell he'd bought the pills intending then and there to swallow them, but he hadn't. Every time he went to rip the plastic his hands started to shake. The kid had assured him that the pills were safe and that they'd, 'take his troubles away.' He didn't particularly care if they took his troubles, so long as they took the pain with it. The pain in his chest made him feel he was going to split wide open. He'd seen her face last night, her eyes. They were the same eyes he'd seen moments before her car had flipped on the freeway, terrified, because he was sure somehow she'd known.
He tore clumsily into the packaging, nearly dropping the pill from his quaking hands. He tossed it into the back of his mouth and tossed his head back. He'd taken so many pain pills and medications in the last year he no longer needed water to swallow them. He crumpled the wrapper in his hand and put it back in his bag, then wheeled out of his room.
The family was waiting for him. Ava and Johnny, his brother and sister. Susannah wasn't back yet from Europe, and Bradin thought she had the right idea. They all looked sad, were dressed in hues appropriate for the occasion. Even Ava, the queen of beach wear and bright colors looked somber in a dark navy suit. "We gonna go? Or do you want us to sit around and make some weird ass family portrait to commemorate today?" Shaking his head he wheeled out the door, not waiting for a response.
Ava's pained gaze never left the blonde boy in the wheelchair. "Go out to the van okay? And don't forget, we're going straight to the airport after school to pick up Mrs. Cole. Then we'll head to the cemetery."
Derrick and Nikki nodded and head out. Ava turned to Johnny, tears shining in her eyes. "Is Jay coming?" Johnny shook his head. Ava let out a shaky breath. "I don't know if I can do this Johnny."
The tall man wrapped one arm around his friend, pulling her into his chest. His other hand stroked her hair. "Yes you can, because you're not going to do it alone. I'm right here."
"Thank you," she whispered, gazing up at him.
Johnny stroked her cheek with his thumb. The past year had made them even closer, in small ways, ways he could only feel and couldn't explain. He forced a smile. "Anytime." Ava wiped her eyes and reluctantly removed herself from his embrace. Hand in hand the two ascended the stairs.
--
Linda squinted, peering through the sliding glass door. The house was completely dark, with no sign of any living presence within. Unfortunately the door was also locked, as it had been all day. She'd avoided the house that morning, feeling the residual discomfort of the night before. But now, in the dark and at nearly 8 she expected someone to be home. She found the whole thing quite strange.
The wind was whipping furiously off the water. Linda zipped Erika's worn orange and gray hoody as high as it would go and tramped down to the beach. Flip flops dangled from the fingertips of her left hand. She sat first on shoreline, till the tide started to come in and the cool water dashed over her feet. She didn't know how long she'd been sitting till she glanced at her watch, and was more than a bit surprised to see she'd been there for more than an hour. All the same, she didn't feel like returning to the house so she went back to walking. The storefront was surprisingly deserted for a Friday night, though she did note that the restaurant was fairly full, though all the umbrellas had been pulled in from their outdoor seating. It was the first time she'd been down at the pier since Jay had found her sitting on the bench. The wind still blew angrily, and her hair whipped uncontrollably around her face.
The sign on Jay's shop said it was closed, but she saw lights on in the back, and could hear faint strains of music. A shadow of a man played across the back wall and she knew Jay was in. She tried the door out of habit, and didn't think much of it when it opened and she slipped inside.
She hung back in the shadow of the doorway to the rear room. Jay was pacing the small room, bottle in hand. He was a mess, his hair and clothes a disheveled mess. Even from a distance she could see his swollen, bloodshot eyes. It took him a few laps to notice his quiet observer. "What are you doing here?" he asked, taking a long pull from his bottle.
"The house was empty," she explained. "I went on a walk. You haven't come around."
"You shouldn't be her." He said coldly.
"What?"
"I said you shouldn't be here."
"No you didn't. You said I shouldn't be HER." Her eyes narrowed. "Jay what day is today?" He turned his back to her. She moved so he was facing her again. "Jay." His eyes were closed and he was shaking his head, muttering to himself. A tear slid down his face. "That's why everyone was gone today wasn't it? This is the day Erika………"
The Australian eyes flew open. "You don't say her name!!" he roared. He stepped toward her, fury resonating on every facet of his face. "You don't get to say her name to me!" She shrunk away from him, till her back pressed up against the wall. He was pressed up against her, his breath hot and wreaking like cheap whiskey. "You look like her. You can wear her clothes. You even………smell like her. But you're not. So you don't get to talk to me like you know anything!" He gestured with his hand and the bottle slipped from his fingers, shattering a few feet away. She flinched.
Linda didn't move for a long time, waiting for her heart to stop hammering in her chest. Jay took a deep breath, blinking. She was cowering, hands up and her face was screwed up in a wince. He took a few steps back, watching the tension slip from her body. He spun on his heel, grabbing a board that was propped against the counter. Her voice stopped him by the door. "Why didn't you go with them?"
"I can't look her mother in the eye."
"And?" she asked the surfer's back.
"They went to visit her in the cemetery. That's not where she is. That's a headstone. We spread her ashes a mile off the point. She's in the waves, just like she loved." His head dropped to his chest and he trotted out the door, ignoring Linda's call.
She followed him out of the store. He was drunk. She'd counted more than ten beers scattered on the floor, not to mention the nearly empty bottle he'd been sucking down. It was pitch black and the storm brewing off shore had made the waves mountains. She couldn't let him surf. As much as she hurried she could gain on him across this sand. He'd kicked off his sandals and pulled his shirt off over his head by the time she got to him.
"Jay!" she yelled over the wind and the crashing waves.
"Leave me alone!" A streak of lightening passed overhead, followed shortly thereafter by booming thunder.
"You're gonna get yourself killed!" The first raindrop pelted her head. He started slowly for the water's edge. She followed. "And maybe you don't care, and maybe you don't think I know anything but you're gonna listen to me now." She grabbed his left arm with both hands, trying to hold him on shore. "Erika was amazing." Jay froze. Another flash of lightening ripped through the sky, landing somewhere out in the water. It was pouring now, soaking them both.
"I know she was, and you know how I know? Because of what losing her did to you and every other person up in that house. I see the way you've all looked at me, in the moments you forget she's gone. And I see the hurt in all your faces come flooding back when you realize she is. So I'm gonna ask you, what you're doing here tonight, would she want you to honor her memory like this?"
Jay screamed, an anguished, tortured cry. He whirled, flinging Linda from his arm. She landed on her side in the sand, ribs crying out in protest. She couldn't breathe for a moment, and drew her knees up to her chest, clutching at her side. Jay sank down in the sand, holding his head in his hands. His senses were returning to him, chasing away the numbness. Guilt immediately washed over him when he spotted Linda curled up in the sand. He stood and moved toward her.
Lightening briefly illuminated Jay's face, before the night cast shadows over him. Linda watched him approach, looming over top of her. For some reason panic gripped her. Each time she blinked she saw a flash………another man………a tire iron. Her eyes roamed wildly and she began to back away from Jay. She scrambled to her feet, keeping the distance between them. "Linda?" his voice was questioning. She didn't answer, but instead fled back to the house.
--
Linda was gingerly pulling on a blue tank top the next morning when Jay knocked on the door. She didn't answer. He cracked the door. She spared him a glance before she returned her attention to the clothes she was separating to wash. He let himself in. Her hair was pulled back, revealing every ugly bruise on her face. "Linda," he reached out to touch her shoulder, but she ducked away from him. He swallowed, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"I'm sorry."
"You were drunk. It's fine."
"No it's not. It's not fine because you're looking exactly I did the night I met you."
"And how's that?"
"Scared," he said bluntly. "And that's my fault, and I'm sorry." She didn't say anything, but she looked at him and nodded. He sat on the edge of the bed. "You were right you know." Her eyebrow quirked. "She was amazing. And she wouldn't want what happened to ruin my life, she wouldn't have let me ruin it. No matter how much I tried," he chuckled. "She was good for me like that." Linda smiled despite herself. "Thank you." She searched his face, but he looked totally earnest.
"Help me take these clothes inside, and act as my watchdog for Bradin, and we'll call it even." Jay grinned, and for the first time in a long time his smile reached his eyes. He grabbed the load and led the way into the house.
Johnny was sitting on the couch as they passed, flipping through channels on the TV. He stopped briefly on ESPN, and for some reason the telecast caught Linda's eye. The announcers were discussing next week's Santa Anita handicap. Johnny flipped the channel again. Linda leaned against the couch, gaze fixated on the television. "Go back for a second. Last time he worked Silver Daze ran a 1:10. I want to get a look at Geller Man, see if maybe he looks like he bounced after his 103 Byer in the Pacific."
The silence that engulfed the room was deafening. Jay's mouth hung slightly open and Johnny was peering back at her over his shoulder. Linda glanced around. "What?"
Chapter 7 Hope it was worth the wait, more Bradin next time, and hopefully Callie too. I'm also thinking I'll start to play with Ava and Johnny.