I spend most of the flight just staring out the window. The last time I was in a plane was almost five months ago and I spent that flight in much the same way. At that time I had only had my freedom again for about two months and those two months had been spent rebuilding my nearly shattered body.
I owe Abby big time for forcing me to get myself back in shape. I also owe her a ton of money for all the herbs and creams she used to help heal my back. I tried to pay her back shortly after I got settled in Breston but the sweet little kat had rejected my offer with a smile. She said seeing me healthy was payment enough and I accepted that.
It has been almost five months since I have flown and I am fascinated to watch as the clouds go by. I miss flying so much. I remember the chills that would go down my spine every time I got close to a jet. The Turbo-Kat was my baby much more then she ever was Chance's. I did build her after all. The plans that built her were mine, everything from the navigation controls to the weapons systems. I'll never build anything that I will be more proud of then that jet.
The butterflies that are in my stomach just won't settle and even though I try to relax and nap I don't succeed very well. My mind keeps going over different scenarios of how this meeting with Chance will go. He could resent me and tell me to leave; he could welcome me back with open arms, a mixture of both. There are so many possibilities bouncing around in my head that I have a headache.
With a sigh I reach into my carry on bag and pull out the bottle of pain killers I keep inside it. I don't take drugs very often. Only when my back gets really stiff or I have a headache. Right now both of circumstances apply. My back is killing because I'm so tense and my head is splitting because of all thoughts swirling around inside it.
I stretch out a little and am finally able to fall asleep as the pain killers kick in. I am awakened by the flight attendants light hand on my shoulder. I almost recoil violently from the unexpected touch but stop myself and manage to thank her for waking me. The butterflies in my stomach triple as it is announced that we will be beginning our final descent into Megakat City International Airport.
Abby will be waiting for me to get off the plane. At least someone I know will be there. I couldn't do this alone. I buckle my safety belt and look down to find that my paws are trembling terribly. Come on Jake, pull yourself together. You can't have a panic attack here. The woman beside me smiles over at me.
"I get a little nervous too during take offs and landings too. It's natural." I nod weakly to her the whole time thanking that most of the scar tissue on my face is on the side opposite her.
"It's not the flight so much as what comes after the flight." At her confused look I continue. "I'm going to see a friend I haven't seen in almost a year. I don't know how we will take my sudden reappearance." The woman smiles at me again.
"If he really cares about you then he won't care how long you stayed away." Her honest and simple words strike me and a feel a few of the freaking butterflies die slow painful deaths. There are still more of them then there were when I got on the plane but it's a little easier to breath and the worry of a full out panic attack eases slightly. To calm myself further I grip the arm rests and squeeze my eyes shut.
I'm still shaking; I can feel it as the plane touches down on the runway. I don't know if I can do this. I have to do this. I don't know if I can. Those are the two thoughts that loop over and over in my head as the plane grinds to a halt. A couple seconds later the flight attendant announces we can remove our seatbelts and exit the plane in an orderly fashion.
You can do this Jake. You need to do it, for yourself and for Chance. I unbuckle the seatbelt and the she-kat who had spoken to me earlier gives me a small smile as she grabs her bag.
"You will do fine I'm sure. Good luck." I nod to her as I stand and grab my bags. The small bag feels like it weighs a ton as I make my way off the plane and into the airport terminal. As soon as I am clear I pull my ball cap a little lower over my face and start scanning the crowd for Abby.
I spot the brightly smiling she-kat and wave to her. She practically runs to me and embraces me in a warm hug.
"You look wonderful dear. I see Alex is making you eat and exercise." I can't help but laugh.
"Yeah he took pretty good care of me. I'll never be able to repay the debt I owe you two." The little she-kat's smile brightens.
"You don't owe us a thing Jake. You are such a sweet kat. I consider you a son and Alex considers you like a younger brother." I smile at that. It's nice knowing that if things don't turn out well with Chance that I'll have a place to go back to. Abby interrupts my thoughts.
"Let's go get your luggage dear. We don't want it to get lost now do we?" I shake my head as she starts guiding me through the bustling airport toward the luggage claim. We get there just as the luggage from my flight is starting to come out. I survey the mass of suitcases and bags and finally spot my black duffle.
I didn't bring a lot of stuff with me, in part because I don't own a lot. The essential things from my apartment and my clothes are really all I brought. The other stuff is still in my apartment in Breston. I didn't want to completely pick up my life when I decided to come back to Megakat City. If things don't work out then I have a place to go that's not completely unfamiliar.
Alex will take care of all that for me and if I need to go back to get the rest of my stuff because I choose to stay here then he understands that as well. He didn't want to add any pressure on me about coming back. He told me before I left to do whatever is best for me. That's the only way I'll be happy and I appreciate what he is encouraging me to do. He wants me to make my own choice without pressure from him. I couldn't ask for anything better.
After grabbing my bag I follow Abby toward the parking garage. I drop the bag in the backseat before climbing into the front and reclining the seat. I want to relax a little before I go to see Chance and the soft music that starts playing as Abby turns on the car relaxes me. Before I know it I'm asleep. Abby decides not to wake me and takes me back to her ranch.
We finally get to the house and she wakes me. It's about mid afternoon here as I compare my watch to the clock on the dashboard. I fiddle with the buttons and manage to accurately set my watch so it shows Megakat time rather then Breston time. I grab my bag from the back and follow Abby into her house. She hurries off to the kitchen and I can hear her yelling something about getting lunch ready.
I make my way over to the couch in the living room and make myself comfortable. The blanket that is draped over the back of the couch is wrapped around me as I lay there watching TV and remembering the two months I spent recovering.
About fifteen minutes later Abby enters with a tray carrying lunch for the both of us. The smell of fresh homemade soup and baked bread waifs down to me and I stretch.
"It smells wonderful." I tell her as she pushes one of the bowls toward me. I accept it and we sit there in silent companionship. The conversation picks up slowly as I tell her about her son's latest antics. By the time I'm done telling her about one story she is laughing sweetly with a smile that reaches her eyes.
"You have changed so much since I found you a year ago Jake. You would barely speak to me those first couple of weeks after you woke up. You were so withdrawn and I was worried about you. I'm so pleased to see the turn around in your attitude." I blush slightly.
"You forced me to open back up. I hated you for that at first. I won't lie to you about that. I really wanted to die when I remembered what happened to me. You didn't give up on me though." A couple tears track down my cheeks and I wipe them away nervously.
Abby just smiles gently. "I'm glad we could make a difference Jake. I'm glad you have finally decided to go back home. It's a big step for you. I don't think you will regret it." I nod and decide to lighten the mood by telling Abby about Alex's crush on Rei. The she-kat's eyes light up at the prospect and the comfortable feeling that we had earlier returns. We spend the rest of the afternoon just relaxing and talking.
As the afternoon ends the butterflies start to grow in my chest again and I look down to find my paws shaking again. Abby can tell what's bothering me and reaches over to grasp one of my paws in hers.
"Are you ready to do this? It's getting later in the afternoon and the scrap yard will be closing soon." The shaking of my paws worsens but now it's not just my paws it's my entire body. Abby can see this and moves over beside me. "It's going to be all right Jake. Just calm down. Let's get your stuff together and I'll take you out to the yard."
I nod weakly and stand. My bags are still near the door but I take my time gathering up my stuff anyway. Abby is waiting patiently as I gather everything and when I finally look like I'm ready she waves for me to follow her as she makes her way toward her car. I follow as the butterflies in my stomach continue to get worse but somehow get my stuff and myself into the car.
Abby starts the car and I arrange the seat so I can see the scenery as it passes. We don't talk much as she drives into the city and I find myself fiddling with the radio dial to create some noise to break the silence. I finally settle on a radio station as the song is about to change. The song is "Scars" by Papa Roach.
Oh god I can feel myself shaking as I listen to the song but I can't reach over and turn it. It's hitting too close to home and I just can't force myself to reach over and change the station.
I absently wipe the
tears from my cheeks and Abby glances over at me in concern. She
doesn't change the song though. She lets it continue as wave after
wave of emotion crashes through me. Gently she reaches over and
places a paw on my leg. The contact is god sent and the tightness of
my chest loosens enough so I can breathe again.
The song ends and the final line leaves my mind reeling. The song hit so close to home it's scary. Especially that last line. I gotta move on with my own life That is exactly what I have to do. I can't let this get me down. If Chance doesn't want to be around me then I have my own life back in Breston where I'll be accepted. I don't think Chance will turn me away though. Not if his trip to Breston was any indication.
I smile over at Abby and she seems to relax. I realize that I had worried her when I broke down like that.
"I'm okay." I whisper. "The song just hit so close to home. I didn't know how to deal with it at first." I swallow. "It was right though. I have to move on with my own life, with or without Chance. I can do this for myself." Abby's face breaks into the first true smile I've seen since the start of the car trip.
"I'm glad you came to that decision Jake. I hope it goes well." We are getting closer to the scrap yard now and I tell Abby to pull over to the side of the road.
"I'll walk in from here." I can tell that Abby doesn't like that idea in the least but I just smile at her. "I'll be okay. I promise. I need to do things this way. I have my cell phone with me and plenty of cash if I need to call a cab." Abby sighs.
"Are you sure Jake? I can wait if you want." I shake my head as I open the door and grab my bag from the backseat.
"I'll let you know how things turn out I promise."
"Well all right." She reaches over and catches my wrist. "Be careful dear, and the best of luck." A tired smile graces my face.
"Thanks, I appreciate it. I'll talk to you soon." I grip her hand gently before detangling myself from her and moving away from the car. She gives me one last concerned look as she turns the car around to head back to the ranch.