Hey, sorry this is so long in coming. I just started school up over the internet, and it's been a little tricky. I hope I can get the next few chapters in sooner that I have been.

I walked home slowly, silently, thinking as the sun set behind me. I knew I was late for supper, but I didn't care. There was too much on my mind.

Sarah had invited me to her church for a service, then youth group. That made me remember how Johnny and I used to go to church, before Two-bit, Soda, and Steve had caused that uproar. I had told her that I had to check with Darry, but it was probably okay. In truth, though, I hoped Darry said no. I hadn't been in a church since Johnny's funeral.

Of course, the church Sarah went to and the one Johnny and I had been in were totally different. I didn't quite understand what was so different about them, but Sarah had said her church was different when I asked if it was the one I had been in. I figured, they all teach out of the same Bible, so it can't be different. But, what did I know? Right then I resigned to just not understanding some things.

Thoughts of Johnny and Dally were still on my mind. I could remember everything about them. Their laughs, the way Johnny's big black eyes would get even bigger when he was scared. The way Dally's hair curled in the back and was always falling in his eyes. Every little detail seemed branded into my brain. Yet, somehow, it was like the brands were fading or something. Like the memories were losing their grip on me. That was terrifying as well as relieving. I had spent the first few months after their deaths trying to forget, but it didn't work. Now that I could forget, I didn't want to let go.

I plodded up to the corner of Picket and Main, and there made a decision. Instead of turning left on Main, which lead to an alley I could take to the lot, I turned right. With grim determination I trudged forward. The sun was just hitting the horizon, and the sky was a pinkish gold. "Stay gold," echoed in my ears with every step. I knew Darry would have a fit when I got home, but I didn't let that stop me. I had to see them.

The town graveyard was perched on the corner of Branch and Roy, out of the way of everything. It seemed like the town wanted to forget that it existed. I saw some goldenrod growing near the fence, and picked two stems. It wasn't much, but Johnny and Dally wouldn't care if I picked dandelions (which weren't so different from goldenrod, if you think about it).

Out in the far corner were two fresh-looking graves. (Well, as fresh as you could get in a place where decaying bodies were buried) One was a small headstone that simply read, "John Cade, March 13th, 1950 – October 17th, 1966". His parents had at least been decent enough to get a tombstone, but if it had been up to the gang, we would have put "Johnnycake" on it. Dally's grave was unmarked, except for a wooden slat that Darry had found and carved "Dallas Winston" on. The fuzz had taken Dally's body to Lord knows where, but we buried some of his clothes and mementos next to Johnny, knowing that's how they would have wanted it.

"Hey y'all" I said as I approached. "I brought you something to add a little color."

The flowers didn't do much, but I felt it was something.

"I know I ain't been here in a while, but track started up, and I guess I've had a lot to think about." I hung my head, feeling guilty about forgetting. "I've been staying as gold as I can, Johnnycake. I met a girl who's still gold. Boy howdy, you'd like her. She's a lucky one, in the middle class. I bet she could even get you to laugh.

"Dally..." I paused, not knowing what to say. "Two-bit swiped another switchblade the other day, but ended up getting caught because of some new-fangled alarm system. I don't think he cared much. You should have seen him when the fuzz took him down town. I saw him in the cop car on the way home from school that day. He was calmly sitting in the back seat, looking as tuff as all get out. You would have laughed.

"Me and Darry, we're okay now. Though, I'll probably catch it for being out past dark. I was walking that girl I mentioned earlier home. Man, Johnny, I think I really dig her. I wish I could see you, because I know you'd understand me without me having to talk. You see, I'm afraid of getting too close to her. What if I lost her too? I just couldn't take that."

I trailed off, the reality of what I had just said hitting hard. I was afraid to let someone else in. I had lost so many people I loved, that even if I allowed myself to care even a little more than I do for acquaintances, I would fear losing it.

Sitting on the ground, I thought for a while. I knew what Johnny would say. He's give me a half grin, and his eyes would understand. "Go for it, man," he's nudge my elbow and...

I stood up. He was right, even if he hadn't been there to say it. I needed to go out on a limb, take a chance, and give relationships a whirl. I was staying gold, but still changing and growing up. Then and there I knew what I was going to do.

When I walked in the front door, as expected, Darry let me have it. He didn't yell, but I could see the anger mixed with worry on his forehead.

"Weren't you thinking that maybe your brothers would want to know where you were?"

For once, I answered honestly and without defense.

"Yeah, I knew I was gonna catch it, but I had to see Johnny and Dal." I met Darry's eyes with a matter-of-fact expression. Darry's expression was one of a worn out older brother who was tired of playing the parent.

"You're grounded tomorrow. You go to school, come home, do homework, and make dinner. No leaving the house, and no hanging with friends. Is that understood?"

"Yeah.'

Darry rubbed his face, then, and walked off. I just took it with a grim determination to prove something. I wasn't sure what, but I had the feeling I had got it across. I didn't regret talking to the members of the gang we lost.

Soda was in the kitchen when I got home. When he heard me walk in, he heated up some dinner. I ate in silence as he sat across the table. I was ready for some more freedom, but obviously Darry and Soda pop weren't thrilled about that idea.

Sorry it was shorter than normal, the next one'll be longer, hopefully. And by the way, thanks for all the reviews. You all are too nice.