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AN: Sorry for the long delay in updating. I was hampered with the knowledge of what I wanted to accomplish without knowing how I wanted to accomplish it. Hope everyone enjoys. Thanks for being patient, and please review.
Chapter Eight
Chakotay started out of his vision quest for the second time that day, his eyes wild, his heart pounding. His mind whirled with the implications of what he had witnessed a few minutes earlier. His two quests had seemed disjointed, fragmented, but now he began to understand parts of it.
"Spirits...oh..I – she –"he started to go in several different directions, and ended up just staring at an empty bulkhead, trying to process the completely improbable. "No one is going to believe me."
His father's words came back to him...she is not here, my son. The presence of Admiral Janeway and Justin Tighe, seemingly unrelated, except for the fact that all three of them were dead. The chameleon. The presence of Kathryn's spirit guide, highly unlikely in his own vision quest, meant only one thing to Chakotay.
She's alive.
And then on the heels of that came another thought, Spirits, she's alive, and I just left her there. Probably injured, in the hands of hostile aliens. His mind conjured up for him horrible pictures of Kathryn lost, alone, injured, tortured, forsaken. My fault.... He shook himself out of his self-flagellation, and slapped his communicator.
"Chakotay to Tuvok."
"Tuvok here."
"Call the senior staff to the briefing room, immediately." Chakotay's words were terse, urgent. His hands were trembling, and he could feel his pulse pounding in his ears. Any human would have probably made an inquiry, but Tuvok restricted his remarks to a succinct,
"Aye, Captain." Chakotay nearly smiled then. If I'm right, he won't have to call me that for much longer.
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"Chakotay, what the hell are you trying to say?" B'Elanna burst out with her trademark impatience. Tuvok arched a brow at her, but said nothing.
"I'm saying that I went on a vision quest and I saw Kathryn's spirit guide. I. Saw. Her. Spirit. Guide." He repeated the words very slowly, as no one seemed to be realizing the significance of this.
"The Captain is saying the presence of Captain Janeway's spirit guide has led him to believe that she is still alive." Tuvok put in.
"But – but, her effects...the Torvalans... they said – they said she..." Paris tried to speak, but his words were incoherent.
"Then why didn't we pick up her lifesign from the ship?" Harry Kim asked earnestly.
"Maybe it was from the magnetic interference still present in the atmosphere." Chakotay was speaking excitedly. "I can't answer all the questions. But it doesn't matter. Don't you see...it doesn't matter."
"Chakotay, we saw you come out of your vision quest. You were upset, disoriented, trembling. Can you really trust anything that you saw at the time?" B'Elanna's dark eyes were worried.
"Let's say you're right, Chakotay – "Tom began. Chakotay opened his mouth to protest, but Tom held up his hands placatingly. "Just hear me out. So you're right, she's alive, and still on Torvala Seven. Why would they lie to us and hold her there? What could they possibly want with her?"
"The Torvalans didn't even know her...or us," B'Elanna interjected.
"If the rebels who planted the incendiary device abducted the Captain, then one would assume that their motivation for doing so would mirror their motivation for the terrorist act. If the bomb was intended to make a statement..." Seven's voice trailed off, but everyone caught her meaning. Why hadn't the rebels announced that they took her? Why had they not executed her, or demanded ransom or acquiescence to their terms? Instead, they had lied about her status, and Voyager had simply left.
I left her there. I took her ship, and I left her alone on a hostile planet... the demons lashed Chakotay with their whips of guilt and self-loathing.
"May I ask, Captain, would you consent to a medical examination?" the EMH said, with characteristic tactlessness.
Chakotay rested his forehead on the upraised palm of his hand for a moment. He couldn't blame them, really. He had known when he called this meeting that no one was going to believe him. "You think I'm crazy." It was a statement, not a question. There was no response.
When he raised his head, every eye in the room was on him.
"I know each and every one of you as if you were a member of my family...you are a member of my family. I know you only have the best interests of Voyager at heart. I also know that you all know of my feelings for Kathryn. The bond was undeclared, but it was mutual, and I believe that bonds like that are stronger than distance...and stronger than death. I know in my soul that she is alive. I know it with every fiber of my being.
I am asking you to trust me. I know I can give an order, and Voyager will return to Torvala Seven. I want the senior staff to be behind me on this." He paused for a space of several heartbeats, and caught and held the gaze of each of his senior staff.
"If you ever trusted me, if you ever served and trusted Captain Janeway, I am asking you. Trust me now." He was deadly serious.
Tom Paris stood to his feet, and adopted a formal stance, addressing Chakotay, but staring somewhere over his shoulder. "Shall we change course, Captain?"
Chakotay glanced over at Tuvok, who was observing with his fingers steepled together. The Vulcan merely nodded, a barely perceptible gesture. The corners of Chakotay's eyes crinkled, the only outward indication of a smile.
"Make it so, Commander," Chakotay ordered. "Dismissed." The senior officers turned crisply and without comment to their various posts.
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The time it took to return to Torvala Seven seemed much longer than it actually was...at high warp, only 9 days. The crew seemed on edge, jumpy, and out of sorts. Ayala's staff was called to break up fights in the mess hall twice. B'Elanna yelled at two ensigns under her command so fiercely, that one of them burst into tears. Chakotay had bumped into Harry Kim twice, as they both wandered the corridors of Voyager at 0200, unable to sleep.
For Chakotay, any sleep was filled with nightmares of a hollow-eyed Kathryn, imploring, reaching out to him, asking him why. In his dreams, he always turned away from her, and woke to her pleading voice ringing in his ears. Soul-ache drove him from his bed, into the deserted hallways of her ship.
If they recovered her, even if she was unharmed, he knew the difficulty would lie in his ability, or lack thereof, to forgive himself. He argued inwardly, about how he had done everything that he had knowledge and power to do, but was unable to find absolution. You left her alone, possibly hurt, on an alien world in an alien quadrant. You took her ship. The accusing voice was getting to be familiar now, quoting an old refrain that kept him awake at night, and tormented during the day.
Late in Alpha shift of the 9th day, Paris announced that they had entered orbit around Torvala Seven. Tension on the bridge ratcheted up to nearly unbearable levels.
"Yellow alert," Chakotay barked. "Scan for the Captain."
"Scanning now, sir," Harry replied immediately. "No human readings on the planet." Disappointment was more than evident in his voice.
"Hail the – "
"Sir, we're being hailed," Harry spoke as his console chirped, before Chakotay could finish giving the order.
"Onscreen." A tall Torvalan male stood in their view, in state robes, and looking at the viewscreen the way one would look at something that had been scraped from a plasma conduit.
"What business do you have on Torvala Seven?" The man asked without preamble.
"I'm Captain Chakotay of the Federation Starship Voyager. We had met with your leader a few weeks ago, to discuss trade."
"I'm afraid Torvala Seven has undergone a change in leadership since that time. The Ven'dek are no longer in control of the planet. Any trade agreement you had reached is now nullified. You may go." The screen reverted to a view of the planet, spinning serenely beneath them.
"Damn!" Chakotay swore. "Lieutenant, what are you getting with regard to transmissions on the planet." Harry and Ayala were both working their consoles furiously.
"It sounds like that conservative faction, the one that planted the bomb, has taken control of the planetary government. The leader is a man named...Valchau. First Premiere Valana's entire cabinet was executed. It looks like their assembly was also disbanded." Harry responded.
"So they've reverted to a dictatorship?" Chakotay mused aloud. "And one not interested in dialogue, evidently."
"Captain," Harry interjected. "The trade minister is informing us that we have exactly half an hour to withdraw from Torvala Seven, or our vessel will be fired upon."
TBC