Disclaimer: I don't own Everwood, the town, or it's characters. I'm just a college student.

Chapter 36 uses "Playing for Keeps" by Switchfoot.

Chapter 36: Playing for Keeps

"Tommy . . .?" Amy whispered as she shook him in the middle of the night. He was sound asleep, quite opposite of her. "Hey, Tommy . . . wake up . . . wake up . . ." she pleaded as she brushed her hand over the top of his head. He moved a bit, but still didn't open his eyes. *You bum,* she thought. Not seeing any problem with it, she leaned down and whispered in his ear, "Thomas," holding out the "s" in a snake like way. Bad move on Amy's part. . .

His head jerked up and instinctively he pulled her into a kiss. The back of his hand holding her head up to his as his lips caressed finally caressed hers. Her eyes shot open and at first she didn't know what was going on. She pressed them closed again, and a surge of confusion shot through her. She pulled away and bit her lip, not sure of what to say. This reminded her of when she and Ephram first kissed in the mine . . . except she had liked Ephram at that point. . . Tommy was just her friend.

"Amy . . ." he breathed, opening his eyes to see her standing with her back turned to him. She was touching her lower lip with her index finger and trying to sort out what just happened. "Amy . . . I'm sorry . . ." he said getting up and walking in front of her he could see her. It was still dark out and the only light came from the holes in the curtains. It shown just enough to light a bar across her eyes, but the light was tinted blue and made her look very different. He squeezed his thumb and index finger together at his forehead and cursed himself for not being more careful with what he did.

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"Do me a favor

Would sing this to me slow?

'Cause I'm thinking it's my song

Do me a favor

Would you tell me when to let go?

'Cause I think I'm holding on"

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"Tommy . . . I . . . what happened?" she asked trying to remain sane.

"That wasn't supposed to happen . . ."

"So it was an accident . . ." she said smiling and nodding in relief, "a dream, maybe about Kayla?"

"It was a dream alright," he said sighing and sitting on the bed. She stood across the room from him. "But it wasn't about Kayla."

". . . You KNOW I'm in love with Ephram . . ." she said kindly, not wanting to make things even more awkward, if that was possible. He was glad it was dark.

"I'm not trying to take you away from him . . ." he said slowly and seriously.

"Then I don't understand what's going on," she said matter-of-factly. "How long has this been going on?" she asked looking him in the eye now.

"I'm not exactly sure . . . all I know is that one day I felt differently toward you. I felt like I couldn't breathe when you were around, like Micah and I would be just fine . . ."

"Tommy, this isn't exactly an appropriate conversation . . ." she started, feeling herself weaken as he spoke.

"I can't help it . . . I've tried . . . I feel as if nothing bad ever happened to me when you're around . . . and Micah . . . God, he loves you . . ."

"And I love him too . . . but . . ."

"But you don't love me," he said staring her right in the eyes.

She turned away and walked toward the window. "I love Ephram,"

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"Would you do it for me?

Would you do it for me?

'Cause I'm playing for keeps

Tell me tomorrow has come

With open arms

If you say it's time to move on

Then I'll stop holding on

If you say that it's time for moving on

Time for moving on"

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A few hours later, just before dawn was about to break, there was action at the Brown house. "Bye Deweea!" Micah said waving as they walked out the front door. He was bundled up so much, he could barely see her. Dr. Brown and found some of Ephram's old winter wear and it fit Micah surprisingly well. Delia waved. While she was sad to see him go, she was happy to have some alone time with Bright, who was "hanging out with her," not babysitting.

"Bye Micah, we'll see each other really soon, okay?" she said. The little boy was smiling the whole time. She turned to see Bright turning on Spongebob.

"Hey, I know it's your house and all . . . but is it okay if we watch Spongebob?" he asked her.

"You like Spongebob?" Bright Abbott? Maybe they did have something in common. "I love Spongebob . . . I mean, yeah, if you want to," she said trying not to get overexcited.

"Awesome," he said, "Oh, do you have any fruit snacks?" he asked. This was too weird.

"Yeah . . . cherry . . . it's all we have," she said looking at him and hoping not to disappoint.

"My favorite," he said, and as Delia walked into the kitchen, "Thanks, Delia!"

"I'm going out for awhile . . . make sure nothing happens to the boy," Mr. Callahan said to his wife as he put on his jacket.

"Alright," she said obediently. This wasn't how she imagined her life at all when she was young. He used to be so kind, up until Tommy was born . . . he was a jealous man, had sort of a reverse Oedipus complex. Someday things would settle down, she told herself.

As her husband stepped out the door and backed out the driveway, she made sure he was a few blocks away before going out to see Ephram. Hoping he was okay, she unlatched the shed door. He was sound asleep, clutching onto a bit of bread she gathered he must've been saving in case it'd be awhile before he received more.

"Ephram," she said sweetly, wake up, it's Christmas Eve!"

"Lousiest. Christmas. Eve. Ever," he said pausing between each word for effect.

"Not for long, I've brought you something!" she said revealing to him what she was holding in her hand behind her back. His eyes widened.

"I never meant for you to find out, honestly! I wanted to just forget that I felt anything at all," he said trying to explain himself.

"So kissing me helped you forget what again?" she asked, then realizing that sounded a bit harsh.

"You didn't exactly pull away right away you know," he said raising his voice and his defenses.

Taken aback, she blinked several times then struggled to find a light to turn on. She found a cheap table lamp and pulled the string but it broke off. She sighed loudly, then looked or the switch. Clicking it on and hearing a buzzing sound from above, she looked him straight in the eye for the first time in full light since the kiss. He looked weak and vulnerable.

"I didn't know what was even going on, you can't use that against me,"

"I don't want to argue with you, Amy. Now, come on, I'm sorry . . ." he pleaded but the tears in her eyes weakened him more. "I'm not trying to use anything against you,"

She fell into the corner and her sobs deepened. She didn't want him to comfort her. Maybe before that would've been the only thing she DID need, but not right now. He walked toward her, "why are you crying? It won't happen again,"

"You can't just go around kissing people, Tommy . . . it messes everything up," she said with her hands resting over her eyes.

"I don't," he said, "something inside of me was going to burst soon if I didn't do something. But now that I see what it's done I much rather would've exploded," he said sincerely. She continued to cry, and he began throwing his clothes in the suitcase.

"What are you doing?" she said trying to stop crying.

"Leaving. When Micah gets here we'll find somewhere else to go, ruin someone else's lives . . ." he said angry with himself.

"You can't leave now, it's not safe," she said seriously.

"But you aren't safe when I AM here," he explained, "and you aren't comfortable with me. Besides, I can't endanger someone I feel so much for . . ."

"Stay. Okay? I'm stupid okay?!" she cried and screamed. "I'm the biggest bitch in the world who toys with boys emotions and never delivers!" she continued at the top of her lungs.

"Stop IT!" he said starting to cry now too.

"No! NO You aren't going! Not because of me!" she said yelling again. She sat on the bed. As the phone rang. Tommy picked it up.

"Hello?" he said loudly.

"Please keep the volume down or you'll be asked to leave. It is only 6 AM," the man from the front desk warned.

"Yes, we're sorry," he said, "it won't be a problem anymore," he said and hung up. Amy knew what had happened and wiped her eyes with a tissue that she found on the night stand. Neither of them spoke for awhile.

"You have no idea how I feel about you," he started reluctantly, "and to hear you say all those horrible things about yourself just to make me stay . . ." Tommy continued but Amy's thoughts were interrupted by a memory,

"I never want to hear you say you don't have friends again," Ephram said as he held her in a tight embrace. That moment had been so wonderful.

Back to present, she turned away from Tommy's gaze. "I'm sorry . . . this just always happens and I don't know how to deal. It happened with Ephram and Colin and now . . ."

"I'm not trying to convince you that I'm better for you than he is . . . I know I'm not. I want you two to be together, but somewhere in the back of my head and the front of my heart I just can't stop thinking about how you make me feel,"

"Tommy we can't do anything about that . . ." she explained, "I'm in love with someone else, and that man is somewhere far from here because of me. You are my best friend . . ."

"How do you feel about me?" he asked bluntly.

"I just told you, you're my best . . ." he interrupted her,

"Honestly," he said softly.

"Maybe if it had been before Ephram, maybe in a different time or place, but I can't care for you that way now," she explained. She motioned to hug him, "but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be with you and Micah as a friend. You guys are practically family to me now," He wrapped his arms around her back. He knew this would be the speech she'd give him. "How do you feel about me?" she asked, afraid of the answer.

"Honestly?" he asked still holding onto her. He felt her nod. "I love you," he whispered. She sighed heavily, squeezed her eyes shut more firmly and pulled away from his embrace as a tear slid down her right cheek and dripped off her chin. Her heart pounded in her chest.

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"Do me a favor

Would you tell me which way's up?

'Cause I don't know where I fit

Do me a favor

Would to you tell me when to stop?

'Cause I don't know how to quit"

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Just then there was a knock at the door and then it opened . . . things hadn't been resolved yet between Tommy and Amy and now they were running out of time. Micah had come. Christmas Eve had come. Awkwardness had come.

"Daddy! Amy!" he said hugging both of them who were still only inches apart. "Chwistmas!" he said giggling. Dr. Brown stood in the door and Amy stepped away from the Callahan's to give him a hug.

"He'll come home," she said to Dr. Brown who looked upset from Ephram still being gone. Dr. Brown pulled her into a tighter hug, a daughterly hug, and began to cry as Tommy tried to distract Micah so he wouldn't see the grown man crying.

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"Do me a favor

'Cause I'm playing for keeps"

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