DISCLAIMER:            This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Many thanks to Niamh, my beta reader. Her own fic, To the Honour of the Mother is well worth reading.

Hermione II

I had Potions this afternoon. It was odd. Well the potion I had to brew wasn't in and of itself odd, just the fact that I was left alone to complete it. I don't think I can ever remember having a class with Professor Snape where he took so much care to avoid me.

Obviously distancing himself from the Mudblood. Can't catch any of those nasty common non-wizarding germs that way.

Point of fact, he didn't seem to stalk around the room at all, just sat at his desk gazing malevolently around the room. He didn't even complain when Harry dropped a whole vial of lilac essence and made the classroom smell like a large, freshly cleaned toilet.

I wonder what's wrong with him?

Harry still has the shakes. I'm going to have to bury my pride and talk to him at some stage, but what do you say to someone who is so on edge, they really haven't got a clue if they're Arthur or Martha?

I think I'll put that dilemma in the 'too hard' basket for a while. I'm being a coward, but I have no idea of how to start that particular conversation…'So Harry, have you lost all your marbles, or are some of them still clinging to your skull?' or 'I know Voldemort wants to kill and dismember you, but enough already – you're starting to whinge.'

A fast way to lose friends and irritate people.

I've only ever had two real friends, three if you count Ginny, but now everything's changed again. Ginny has her own agenda and I'm not privy to what that is, Ron only wants my company if I open my legs and close my mind and Harry has closed himself off. He isn't even taking care of himself…like he's given up without even trying.

How do you get through to someone who thinks they're already dead?

The next morning…

I don't believe I wrote all of that yesterday. I find it easier to unburden myself to a journal than face the fact that I have no idea of how I'm going to make it through each day.

All the teachers look on edge, so maybe Harry has started a trend. There are still empty places at the Slytherin table – no prizes for guessing who they are or where they are. I don't know why Dumbledore lets them stay. Surely he must realise that they're passing on messages to Voldemort.

I know Dumbledore has some odd ideas, but maybe he's feeding a false trail back to the Death Eaters. I suppose he could do that, but then perhaps he's giving the same information to Professor Snape.

What if he's not the only spy?

I saw Snape scanning the tables during breakfast…like he was looking for something. He passed something to Professor McGonagall, but she didn't acknowledge him. He looked really angry, then just stood up and swooped out of the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall just looked at his back, touched Professor Dumbledore on the right wrist and then stood up and left as well.

She gave me an odd look as well, pursed lips and the, 'mind your own business' look.

There's something going on. I just wish I knew what it was.

Later that same morning…

Hogsmeade was cancelled this morning. I'd dragged Harry with me and we were waiting in the Entrance Hall for Ginny when Professor McGonagall swept through all of us and stood in front of the main doors.

She didn't even say anything, just tacked a notice to the door and walked back towards the Grand Staircase. It was all a bit surreal. Even the message didn't say terribly much of anything. I know members of the Order can't say much, but as teachers, why didn't they give a reason?

So I came back upstairs, but instead of opening my work, I opened you instead, which of course you already know, because I'm writing in you now.

I want someone other than a diary to talk to, not that you talk back or anything, but I don't think I'm asking too much. I miss the old Harry and I miss the easy camaraderie and bickering I shared with Ron.

I wish I'd never heard of Voldemort or Death Eaters or the War. I want my friends back and I want a simple life where all I have to think about is, how stressed I get over my exam results and if someone nice will ask me out.

I don't think I'm asking too much.

Why can't things go back to the way they were?

Comments, reviews and critiques most welcome.