Summary: Kurogane wakes up. His side of chapter three.

Warnings: Standard Warning One: Kurogane swears a bit. Warning Two: No real spoilers. Warning Three: KuroxFai-ness. It is definitely there. And thus, mostly OOC for Kuro-pu. But that's okay. We can get over that.

Disclaimer: All belongs to CLAMP, et al.

Lucidity

I sensed, more than heard, Fai move. He had been slightly curled into himself, his knees only partly drawn up to his chest, but when I opened my eyes he had pulled them completely up looking for all the world like he wished he could disappear. But the world is not quite so merciful. He must have noticed that I was awake because he looked up at me, his eyes practically crying with insecurity. And before I could stop it, my heart went out to him. My head hurt so much though, and I blamed my compassion on lack of reasoning.

He reached out to me then, resting his hand just against my palm. Why did he do that? More to the point, why was I not flinching away? More lack of reasoning, I deemed. But even as we lay looking at each other like a couple of brain dead idiots, my dream of Ashura came back to haunt me.

Damn bastard. If he were actually like that in real life I would kick his ass if we ever really met. I doubt Fai would mind. Speaking of whom, I wondered what he would think if I told him that I had met that king of his in my dreams. Yeah, I am sure that would go over really well. It would just give him more fodder with which to piss me off. And I most definitely did not want that.

I wish I knew what had actually happened to us. I had no idea where we were, why we were there, or why it was that my head provided me with a most obnoxious pain. The last thing I remember was Fai and I looking up into the sky as it twisted to open a path to another dimension, compliments of that white manjuu, I'm sure. After that, though, I do not remember a thing, just that stupid dream.

I refocused on Fai who looked as if he was lost in some memory. Probably in one that I could not dredge up. He looked every bit as lost as he seemed and I curled my fingers around his hand, though why I did that, I had no clue. But I was lying to myself. I did not want him to look that sad. Fai should not look sad; he had seemed to come from a sad life and he did not need any more sadness. I guess I wanted to comfort him to a degree. Maybe it might bring him back from inside his head. It must have worked somewhat since a moment later he looked down at our hands before blinking up at me, his eyes apprehensive, seemingly searching for something in my own eyes.

"What's wrong?" How long had I been asleep? My voice sounded horrible. It did not even sound like my own.

He looked so uncertain of himself. "I…I…I'm sorry," he offered, his voice as quiet as mine.

What the hell? Why was he sorry? "What for?"

He hesitated. "That…that…"

I could at least spare him for now. "First, can you tell me why my head feels like someone tried to split it open?"

He chuckled a little at that. "That was the original intent."

I frowned slightly. "Oh. I don't even remember." You would think I would remember something like that.

Fai did not look surprised though. "It was really me that should have been hit."

I frowned further. "Why?"

"Because I was the one the man had been aiming for."

My head hurt because I had been hit. Fai was the target. I was hit because…because I had deliberately put myself between that man and Fai. Stupid, stupid Kurogane. "Which is…why you're…" Way to be eloquent.

"Sorry?" He finished. "Yes. You shouldn't have stepped in like that."

"Why the hell not? I can't protect…" You. Did I actually just come close to saying that? I had almost completely humiliated myself.

Fai gave me an odd look. "What?"

"Nothing," I closed my eyes in an attempt to escape looking into his. "Forget I said anything."

He seemed to almost accept that. "So, I'm sorry," he finished.

"Don't be sorry," I sighed. "You're fine, I'm fine." I opened my eyes again, looking at him. "We're both fine." Why, oh why did I seem to find it necessary to say things that could mean something more? And I would not accept the answer that I wanted it to really mean something more.

By the look on his face, it appeared that he was denying himself something. Then a different emotion washed over his face, as if he were remembering something awful. "I thought you'd died at first," he confessed. "I was so…so scared." His voice dropped off as he gathered his thoughts. "You fell so heavily…and then you wouldn't move no matter how much I tried to call you." He took a steadying breath before looking back at me. "No one has ever done that for me."

No one had ever made that kind of emotionally driven confession to me. I almost felt embarrassed. "Done what?"

He hesitated, unsure if he should tell me. Then, almost like he was trying to convince himself it was all right said, "Protected me."

I can help that damn urge to protect him. I will not be susceptible to my emotions. Damn you to whatever underworld you fear, Ashura. You will not get the better of me next time. I closed my eyes. Fai did not have to see whatever it was my eyes might tell him. I just needed to calm down, that was all. I could almost hear Tomoyo laughing at me.

"You really do need to grow up, Kurogane," she had said to me before. "You need to understand your emotions, not run away from them."

I sighed. She was right. As usual. "I…I never even thought about it," I admitted to him slowly, not opening my eyes. "I…I didn't think. I…" I hated struggling with my words.

And it was his turn to spare me. "It's all right," he said. "Thank you."

I wanted to tell him something. What it was I did not know, nor did I have the appropriate words with which to tell him. In lieu of that, I found myself squeezing his hand softly.

"How are you feeling?" It was a random question, as if he was floundering for something to say besides what he wanted.

"I'm fine."

He almost looked annoyed, as if doubting that I was being truthful with him. But, then he looked blank, as if listening to a voice only he could hear.

"What?" I asked.

He blinked at me. "I'm sorry?"

"You kind of dazed out for a second," I said. "What's wrong?"

He took a deep breath. "Are…are you sure you're fine?"

A fear engulfed me so cold that I could have sworn it would kill me. He could not possibly know…No. "I said I was fine, so I'm fine," I snarled at him.

He did not flinch away as I half expected, but continued to meet my furious eyes patiently. Then the anger left. Just ebbed completely, leaving me feeling deflated and empty. I looked up at the ceiling, away from his sympathetic eyes. I took a deep, steadying breath, regaining coherent thought. How did he know? How could he possibly have asked the exact same question Tomoyo had?

"Kuro-tan?" he ventured. "I…didn't mean anything, really."

Bull shit. "Actually," I said. "I think you did." Out of the corner of my eye I saw him worry his lip anxiously, perhaps even worried about what I was going to say. "I don't know how," I continued. "But that was exactly what Tomoyo said to me the day she figured out…what…was wrong with me…"

He looked a little sad at that.

"If I didn't know better I'd say the two of you had had tea and enjoyed yourselves at my expense," I grinned wryly. It would just be my luck.

He probably thought I did not notice his almost gasp, and I idly wondered if I had struck a chord in him somehow. But my emotional side seemed to be on a roll and I found myself gripping his hand harder, looking back to his eyes intensely.

"I swear to you," I said. "I'm not going to lie to you anymore and I want you to not lie to me either." Why was I saying this? "As…as much as I want to…I can't tell you yet. And…I know you're not ready to tell me either." I looked away from him then. I should not keep talking. But I felt it had to be said. I looked back into his eyes. "Someday…I…I'm going to be honest with you. And…I want you to know that you…you can trust me," I squeezed his hand harder. "With anything. I will not let you face whatever it is on your own. I will stand beside you." I cannot fight your battles for you, but I can at least lend you strength to do it on your own.

He looked like he wanted to cry. It stung me to think that no one had ever offered that to him before. Were people in his country really that heartless? I'll bet that Ashura bastard was. Why else would Fai run from him? Fai deserved better than that. From the look on his face, he was falling away from me again, into that place inside his head to which only he was privy. My hand slackened from around his.

"Fai?" I knew he would react to his name since I've never called him by it before. He focused on me again and seemed to come to a decision.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I…I will stand with you as well."

If he knew, he might wish he had never said that. But it seemed like he trusted me. Almost as if he was unused to trusting people. I had never been good at that either, but Tomoyo had pretty much shattered that. I had never trusted people because I had never trusted myself to be able to judge their characters appropriately. In her own way, she taught me to be surer of my assessments of people. Fai probably never had someone like that. I knew the kid, the princess, and even that manjuu would support him. But none of them were here. Only I was. So I hoped it would be enough.

It appeared that way. His eyes were shining with gratitude. Damn you for making him like this, Ashura. I squeezed his hand lightly. "I want you to defeat him," I murmured.

He looked almost surprised. "If I didn't know better, I would say that it sounds as if you and…and…he had a talk of your own."

"It's good that you know better," I said.

He smiled half-heartedly at me. But it was probably all that was left of anything other than his fake smile. "I want you to…come to terms with…your problem."

I frowned. How, how did he know? He should never even have realized there was something wrong with me. I did not want him to know, even when I had promised I would tell him. I did not want any of them to know. As much as I trusted them, I found myself doubting that they would not turn away from me if they ever discovered it. "We'll see before the end of this trip, I'm sure."

He nodded. "We can make it. I believe in you."

I believed in him too.

A/N: So. Thisis the final chapter for Lucidity. And I think it might just be fluffier than chapter three. Wow. And Kuro-tan, in my opinion, is waaaay out of character. I chalk it up to that knock on the head though. Which is how I was okay with writing it. My apologies for chapter three apply to this chapter as well. KakashiLvr, I hope this was good enough for you. Or at least lived up to any expectations you may have had. I tried my best. It doesn't feel as well done as the previous chapter. Not sure how I feel on it. I wish I could have gotten Kuro in character a bit more, but the way I wrote chapter three did not really allow that. So…yeah. The fluff continued. I'm sure Kuro would gag if he ever read this. Then most likely kill me… But it would be with Souhi. And Souhi's a freaking sexy sword (::drools over sexy sword wielded by equally sexy ninja::), so I wouldn't mind. Aheheh...ahem. Anyways. I believe this wraps up everything in this story. Look for kind of a merging of this story with my other story, Legend. I've got big plans in store. So look forward to it! In closing, I hope this story wasn't too bad of a read for people and that no one hates me for it. And for all the grammar/spelling people out there wondering about the word 'surer,' I originally had 'more sure,' but my grammar check insisted that it should be 'surer.' I'm a little skeptical, but I didn't feel like arguing with it. And as always, thanks for reading!