The End of All Things

There was a dull thud as Lloyd punched the guard in the side of the head. "Sorry," he whispered as he took the key from the man's side. "No problem," he whispered back. Lloyd quickly unlocked the others. Mousse went over to the guard and retrieved the Wing Pack, and began handing out weapons. Soon they were equipped. Ranma checked the map Shizuma had given them. "Everyone know where we're going?" he asked. Several came over, confirmed their route, and stepped back. "Ready?" he asked, licking his lips. There were no negatives, so Ranma took a deep breath, and walked out the door.

Cautiously, he and the others slipped around corners, through shadows, and past "oblivious" guards. They were within twenty yards of the core entrance when a bolt of energy whizzed past the group. They turned around and flattened themselves against the wall, slowly moving backwards towards a cross hallway where they could escape. Several guards, both willingly and unwillingly, fired their plasma beams at the intruders. Ranma clicked the switch on his transmitter. It's up to you now, Shizuma, thought Ranma.

"What I want to know is why my men aren't competent! A simple question, but every last one of my officers failed to catch those interlopers! I'm beginning to think my soldiers are smarter than you are!" Shizuma smiled mentally, savoring the way his subordinates and comrades cringed at his outburst and cowered in fear of his wrath. He glanced down, faking a fuming sigh. He widened his eyes for effect when he saw his transmitter. He slowly picked it up, pressed a switch, and pretended to glare infuriatedly at it. He twisted his mouth in an expression of fury, and slammed the transmitter down on the desk. "Idiots!" he roared. "They've escaped! Don't bother trying to help, you'll just get in the way!"

With that he raced out of the room, and sprinted down hallways until he ran into a group of cofused guards. "S-sir!" said one. "Our guns have been disabled!" Shizuma roared again. "I'm surrounded by idiots!!!" he yelled. "Stay back! I'll take care of them myself!" He shoved the guards out of the way and stormed down the hallway towards the intruders. Rounding a corner, he saw Ranma press his face to a retinal scanner, which promptly opened the doors for him. Shizuma faked a triumphant laugh. "Fine, maggots!" he sneered. "Run to your deaths! I will show you the true meaning of suffering!"

They all took off down the hallway, and Shizuma took up the pursuit. The doors closed off behind him, and they finally reached the core. Shizuma was about to say how tiring it was to be angry all the time, when another voice came from behind him. "Good work, Shizuma!" it said. "Now let's finish them off!" A blonde haired man stepped out from before them. He looked exactly like Mithos, and sounded like him too. Shizuma stared blankly at him, then grinned hugely, closing his eyes. "Good idea, boss!" he said, and punched him in the face as hard as he could. He struck the wall and slumped over. Raine went over to the computer, hacked the computer, turned off the force fields, and backed up the heat vents. Then everyone went out through the exhaust tube, and got out the far side with time to spare.

"Well, that was easy," said Ranma. "Yeah, I mean," said Lloyd, "we should have had to have a really hard boss fight, or have had to had trouble hacking the system, or have had to race against the fires of the exploding tower, or a plot twist that makes up think up a new solution, or something!" Everyone looked at him oddly. "You know, if it was a game, or a movie," said Lloyd sheepishly. Raine sighed. "Sometimes, Lloyd," she said, "things just work." With that the tower exploded, and the resulting time wave sent everyone back in time to the day when Cruxis arrived. The remnants of Cruxis died in an automobile accident when a four man plane suddenly fell out of the sky for no apparent reason. The people in the plane survived with scrapes, but as the pilot put it, "T'aint no reason fur these things t'happen, unless it wert 'n act o'God, er somethin'..."
And so, with no memories of the world's terrible ordeals (or of that one sexual night), they all lived happily ever after.

THE END