Chapter Eight: Conspiring

The room reeked of death. Incense burned in silver trays, offered up before the statues of grimacing clay idols. A hookah, purchased from Plundered Pete's with Jessica Lovejoy's weekly allowance, stood in the center of the room. Around it sat various young teens, puffing away the world on large, dark pillows. Adolescants sat on moldy couches, smoking tobacco and clove cigarettes, discussing dark and dreary literature and movies. A few boys sat before a dusty TV, watching a grainy copy of a "snuff" film, the Christian disgust slowly being overwhelmed by bestial lust and animal energies.

Only the light of flickering candles was there, for the windows were painted black. The air was thick, sickly sweet. The room reeked of death.

In a back room, Todd knelt before an enormous statue. It was twice the height of a man. It had the hooves, horns, and beard of a goat; the face of a man; the head of a wolf; the eyes of a cat; the claws of a leopard; the wings of a bat; and the tail of a dragon. On it's bulging gut was carved a leering face. On it's head was a diadem, with three long prongs. Two had large faux-gems in them, one was bent and was missing it's stone. Jessica Lovejoy, entered. Behind here were two young boys, armed with hunting rifles, and Ralph Wiggum.

Todd turned.

"Hail Satan, hail Todd Ukubak!" cried Jessica, raising her hand in the satanic salute.

"Hail Satan, and Hail Jessica Nightshade!" he replied, returning the salute.

"I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the..." started the blissfully ignorant Ralph, before being silenced with the butt of a rifle.

"What is it, O glorious Queen of the Night?" asked Todd, leaning in and stroking her face.

"Our patsy has some troubling news, my prince." she replied gravely.

"Really? You!" he said, pointing at Ralph, who was now on the ground, holding his stomach, "Speak!"

"Woof, woof-woof, me-ow! Oof!"

"What of it, Swine!?"

"People call my daddy a pig sometimes, too!"

"Grr..."

"Ralph…"said Jessica, leaning and smiling a cruel and false smile, "I'll give you a lollipop if you tell Todd what you told Patches!"

"Bart and Lisa are trying to stop you guys! And so are all the kids! They're mad you killed my dad and Mr. Bus Driver and the Pinstiple's gramdma!"

"What else?"

"Well…Oh! I remember! They proved that the two sets of killings are connected, but Lisa gave me the evidence because she doesn't know you guys are my buddies too, and I still have it. And…Lisa is working on a list, and she has you too guys on it, and she has Jessica on it, and Patches and Poor Violet!"

"Is that all!?" cried Todd, leaning in and grabbing Ralph by the collar of his leather jacket. Ralph was frightened.

"I made an uh-oh!"

"Yes," said Jessica, "Except that Lisa Simpson is trying to infiltrate our accursed coven, and wishes to destroy us from within! She has donned our garb and is going by the name of Erzebet Bloodtree"

"Very well…" said Todd, releasing his hold of Ralph, "We must make sure that she enters with no trouble. I have no intentions of stopping an enemy who would willingly enter our domain alone. We will catch her, violate her virgin body, and send her soul, dedicated to the falsehood Buddha, screeching to the pits of Hell!"

"Hail!"

"Hail!"

"Snow!"

"Now, go, son of Wiggum! I shall send for you when I see fit!"

Ralph waddled out, and the guards followed him. Todd looked to Jessica.

"Now, let us have a little fun." He walked across the room to a desk chair. He spun it around, and in it was Rod, tied and gagged.

"Now, Mistress Nightshade, how shall we go about this?"

Jessica laughed viciously. The sound of a drill was heard. Muffled screams. The drill…silence…then laughter.