I don't own Love Hina. Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu. The story though is an experience I'd like to share. For all grammar and spelling mistakes, I apologize in advance.

Life as it is

Six

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Saturday Night – The Garden

They say that most reunions reveal unfulfilled promises, hopes and desires. I've seen and heard something like that before during my high school reunion years back; stories about ex-lovers coming back together, hidden affections revealed to some clueless person, secrets uncovered and explained, repressed signs of love finally shown, acts of random honesty and kindness completed without hesitation. There's something about people gathering again after years of separation. It brings something out in each and everyone of us – that irresistible unseen hand of obligation to finish what we have started underneath the dark clouds of notion that if we don't do it now we would never have a chance to do it again… with the same crowd… at the same place… with the same atmosphere.

Of course, I've never been into such privileged situation. I'm just your average guy who graduated without honours, with fewer friends who could properly remember my name and with no promise of estranged love. I didn't have anybody before. I didn't have a girlfriend to share a tear of separation. I had nothing.

Until now.

Strange. Life is indeed just like a wheel… sometimes your up and away from the ground then suddenly your in deep shit (pardon my choice of word… but… oh heck... there's no better word for what I've been through anyway!)

Fate has its reasons. I was deep into the ground with no other hope of climbing out but pure pain of resentment then I found myself looking at something extraordinary (for me I guess... but I'm glad. I'm really glad.)

Here I am alone with one of the most beautiful women I'd ever encounter in my entire sorry life, talking to me, telling me things that I could only dream (and even if this was just a dream, I'd gladly play my part and never wake up again.)

Motoko.

Her hair flowing sinuously into the cool night breeze, her face alight with unreadable mass of emotions, her eyes staring into the blackness of the pond. I was mesmerised by her sheer beauty. I stand here staring at her like she was some sort of an angel sent down from heaven.

I smiled.

Motoko glanced at me for a moment then returned her gaze to the pond. She has something in mind. And I think I understand. It must have been hard for her to say something she wouldn't normally say, especially not in front of the guy she deemed lecherous and perverted. I sighed. Her words were more than I deserved. She's a true friend. I will not let her embarrass herself more than she is now.

"It's okay Motoko. You don't have to… say anything… or say something like that…" I sighed again. I realised that I might have worried everybody so much to the point that they convinced Motoko to pull such an incredible stunt as to tell me that she loves me (Oh heck… that's what I think she's telling me anyway… strike me down if I'm wrong… and I really think I am!)

It was a dream after all.

"You're here listening to my stupid and childish whine… that's more than enough to console me…" I turned towards the pond, shaking a little, feeling that loneliness creeping deep into my skin. The pain would start again soon. "I really appreciate what you're doing. I'll be fine… see… hahahahahaha!" I laughed with my hand at the back of my head.

Motoko turned towards me. I could see sadness in her eyes and her face showed kindness that nearly broke my resolve. "You will never change… Urashima," Motoko suddenly reached out for my left hand.

I stopped abruptly, caught off guard with such kind gesture. Tears welling up my eyes… I willed myself not to cry.

"You're still the same guy who would rather carry the burden of pain alone than let it be shown to anyone… even to your close friends," Motoko was oddly reflective.

Oh God… please Motoko… please stop.

"You're still the same hopelessly romantic guy who would do everything for the ones he cares the most. Such strength to carry enormous heart ache. A true decent and honest man. That's who you are Urashima. Narusegawa is a very lucky woman,"

STOP IT!

I couldn't help it. I turned away from her. Tears streaming down my face. The pain finally broke through all my defences… all my pretensions. I felt ashamed for being so weak in front of a strong woman who could say beautiful words of comfort to me. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve her words. I don't deserve anything.

I failed with Narusegawa.

I failed all the girls of the Hinata Apartments.

It's been so long.

"Please Motoko… I… I just need to be alone for a moment… okay… please?" I said through my tears. I was begging her. "Please… I just want to be alone…"

I felt Motoko moved closer to me. I could smell her sweet fragrance. "I won't leave you Urashima… you've been alone for eight years… I…"

"Leave me alone!" I shouted. And I felt sick to my stomach doing that.

Then silence.

The cool wind of the night breezed through.

"The first time I saw you… I thought you're just like any other boys I've met before. Lecherous and perverted. With nothing in mind but to take advantage of young and pure innocent girls. I hated men. I hated everything about men,"

I heard her sigh.

"That's why I trained to be the best swordswoman there is. I don't want to be deemed weak. I wanted to show to all lecherous perverted men that I could be as strong as they are… even more with sword techniques I have learned from years of training. That was my personal vendetta…"

A pause.

"Foolish. I was just a child back then. My emotions locked within me never to be allowed to roam outside for fear that I might lose concentration. I never felt any for I have closed myself to everyone else but my own foolish endeavours. My sister tried to change that but it only intensified my hate. That's why I lived at the Hinata Apartments to get away from her girlish or worldly views,"

My tears stopped. I was caught in her story. I knew all of it… she shared it with me… with all of us before. But there's something in her voice that attracted my attention. It was… different.

"And then I… I met you. Everything changed. You… you were different. You're incredible strength to withstand all my attacks intrigued me. Then you're unfazed determination to pass the Tokyo University entrance examinations even after several failures strike me as extremely odd. Failures does not hinder you… which for me was something new… for me failure means death. Well… that's how we were taught to think at the dojo. But you… you keep bouncing back with even more determination. And your actions most of the time fascinated me. You fail then you run away… then you come back and start all over again,"

I found myself looking at her. She was staring at the pond with a small smile at the corner of her lips. I could feel that she's back in time reminiscing those nostalgic days of innocence and adolescent self discovery.

"And I learned so much from you. You taught me that it's alright to be weak sometimes. That there's nothing wrong in showing tenderness… to trust in one's self even after failures or several attempts… that failure is not the end but just the beginning. I started to open up and feel. For the first time I felt something… and the weirdest part is that I felt something… for you…"

What? Now… that's something new. I never heard this side of the story… what's going on Motoko?

"I… I felt something I haven't felt before. I watched how you dedicated yourself to Narusegawa. How you endured all her cruelty… all her punishments… while dreaming of the day you'd marry her. I know it was foolish and childish but deep within me… I knew… I… I wanted the same thing. I felt jealous. Extremely jealous with her. I don't understand how she could be so harsh with the one man willing enough to put up with all her childishness. It was unfair. I think that's what attracted me to you Urashima… I wanted that loyalty… that kindness… that unselfish love…"

Motoko turned towards me. We stared at each other for a while.

"Motoko… I…" I don't know what to say. I really don't know what to say!

Then Motoko turned towards the sky and sighed deeply as if she has resigned herself to fate. Her eyes closed, whispered, "Yes… its true. I fell in love with you. Shinobu knew for she was there to abate my tears. And I waited for you. I waited for you for so long…"

Wait! Is that what Motoko meant before? She told me to come back because someone special will be waiting for me. I'm so sorry… I didn't know! If only I knew… I could have healed… we could have started anew.

I walked towards Motoko but she stepped back. There was something in her eyes that stopped me from getting any closer.

It was pain. Sadness. Loneliness.

What have I done?

"No. Please Urashima understand… I… I don't want to be like Narusegawa. I'm not like Narusegawa at all!" Motoko's eyes clouded with tears and in that instant I felt sorry for her. I hated myself even more for being so dumb… for not seeing what's in front of me. It shouldn't be like this!

"Motoko… I'm so sor…" I tried to say.

"I'm sorry too Urashima," Motoko turned around. A hand on her face, covering her eyes. Then she fled into the night.

It took me a few seconds before I realised what was going on. A few minutes ago my heart was in ruins, now I felt something I haven't felt for a long time – hope. Utterly gratifying hope of love. And if I'm lucky… true love.

Oh Motoko… why just now?

And so I ran after her. I ran for that promise of a new life with someone who loves me. I felt that with Motoko. I felt something special. And I won't let her go. Not this time around… I'd do anything… everything!

I stopped. I found myself in an unfamiliar place. A garden. My mind was in confusion thinking of all the things Motoko has said and so I didn't actually saw where I was going. But I have a feeling that I've been here before. I'm not sure when.

"You finally found your back bone Keitaro?"

There was something in that statement I couldn't ignore. It's nothing short of an insult.

It was Kitsune.

She was smirking at me.

And so I waited for her to continue.

"Honestly Keitaro… I'm getting really tired watching you. You're getting really boring lately… and I don't know what's going on at that empty head of yours…"

Watching me? What in the hell are you talking about Kitsune?

"What do you…?"

"Oh be quiet wimp. For crying out loud make a decision already!"

That insult blew a fuse. Its one thing to be insulted by a stranger but to be verbally harassed by a friend like this was more than I could bear. I've hand enough of her games. This joke's getting lame. Couldn't she think of a better thing to do?

"Kitsune… do you have a problem with me? Because if you do you better…"

"Yes I do,"

"What?"

"Didn't you hear me? I have a problem with you,"

A pause. I was waiting for more. But she just stood there staring at me with such insolence that could have forced me to bitch slap her.

"Well? So what in the hell is your problem with…"

"You irritate me,"

Gosh that's fresh! That must be the most ironic statement I have ever heard. Not only with the odd circumstances but what that simple response represents. Me? Irritating? What in the world did I do to irritate her?

Kitsune crossed her arms and as if seeing the obvious question in my face she continued, "When you left eight years ago so many have changed at the Hinata Apartments. We waited for you. Naru, Shinobu, Su… and apparently Motoko too. And what did you do? You just left us on our own while you straddle yourself out there thinking of no one else but yourself. You selfish freak… did you know what your sudden departure did to us? To my best friend Naru? She cried. Yes. She cried for nights and nights on end,"

What in the hell? I didn't know that. I didn't know Narusegawa could cry on my account. She didn't cry when I was hospitalised because she broke a rib or two after hitting me with one of her Naru-punches. Feh… you learn something everyday.

I kept my thoughts to myself. I could feel an impending argument to erupt anytime soon and I'm not ready to have one especially with one angry Kitsune! I have better things to do. I've been through this road many times before. I've had enough of it.

"There are women waiting for your return Keitaro. There are women who love you. If you've been a man with a back bone before you could have settled everything a long time ago instead of postponing everything and leaving everyone with a big question mark on their heads,"

And then I understood. My mind was racing but with all the tensions everywhere I finally understood what Kitsune was really trying to say. I felt the same way with Narusegawa before. I remember being this upset only to die down with one of her inconclusive promises. But unlike Narusegawa, what I would say would come from my heart. And I would mean every word.

I approached Kitsune without fear. I was expecting her to do something harsh… a slap in the face, a kick or maybe a shot on the chin. I wouldn't mind if she did… that would only lessen her anger. And I'd rather talk properly to a less annoyed Kitsune than the one staring at me now.

She never looked away. She just stared at me as I drew closer to her. I placed my hand on her shoulders and stared deep into her eyes. She's alluring as ever.

"I'm sorry. For everything I've done to you. But I can't do anything with what happened before. All I can do is treasure what's left…" I leaned towards Kitsune's ear (God she smells heavenly! They all smell heavenly!) And then I whispered, "besides… it wouldn't have worked between us anyway… you're way out of my league… I don't stand a chance," I meant what I said.

Then I quickly drew back. It was a gamble. Because if I was wrong… if I made a wrong assumption… that will be the death of me!

And she didn't do anything. Her eyes were closed as if in deep contemplation.

That was surprising!

Then she opened her eyes, her demeanour changed, "Finally. What took you so long to tell me so? Anyway… what's done is done. I'm just glad we're done with it. Atleast now I know for sure… where I… where I uhm… stand in your heart. I was hoping… uhm… waiting excruciatingly for you. I knew but I wanted to hear it directly from you. Sorry about the things I said before,"

Kitsune's dress pronounced the very fine swelling of her breasts. And I ached. Did I do the right thing? I was staring at her dumbly. She saw that and she couldn't resist. She walked closer and pressed her chest on mine. Man! I'm sweating like a pig! (Ehem… figure of speech?)

"You could always take back what you said and choose me instead…" Kitsune whispered soothingly.

"Sorry Kitsune… uhm… it wouldn't be right… and… and as I told you before… I don't stand a chance! I don't think I'd last more than a minute with you!" I pleaded.

"Oh… that's okay… as long as you can keep on at it for a long while, I wouldn't mind few minutes interval breaks…"

I almost passed out with that last one… images of Kitsune's naked body flashed through my head especially with her soft breasts pressed against me. I pressed my nose to stop it from bleeding. And she noticed my… uhm… my… stiffness (ehem… figure of speech?)

Kitsune laughed and this time it was a genuine one. I'm glad. She drew back from me and turned serious, "So… you're finally going to tell how you really feel with Naru? Are you finally going to make up with her?"

It took me a moment to answer and when I did I was confident. I knew what I feel. I took a deep breath, "Yes. It'll be settled tonight but… I… I don't think it will be what you expect…"

"Oh?" Kitsune leaned closer, interest glowing in her eyes, "So will it be someone else? Who is it then?"

I smiled at her. I felt happiness inside me. I felt hope. I remember Motoko's kind words to me. Her smile.

"Just somebody…" And a special one too.

Kitsune stared past me. I turned around and suddenly I found myself in oblivion again.

Narusegawa.

Narusegawa walked closer to us and spoke with tenderness I haven't heard for a long time, "Keitaro… we need to talk,"

I gulped.

The moment of truth has arrived.

It will be settled tonight.

"Yes. We need to talk Narusegawa,"

Wish me luck everybody!

Good luck Keitaro! Love's just around the corner! Cheers!

nivremous