Author's notes: Alright. I've got my Kain thing down. Sometimes I don't need to write as Amanda because there's so little I can think of her to be thinking... even if she is, technically, me, in a sense. What I propose is a little outside research for Soran, and Mr. Grant becoming a vital individual in their journey as it continues back, slowly, toward Nosgoth.

--Kain--

After a proper feeding on my own time, I recovered from a careless dry spell on my account rather quickly. I wasn't looking at Raziel anymore with a palpable desire to tear his throat from his scrawny neck and Amanda seemed relieved when I crouched occasionally to roughen the little beast up a little. Normally animals would avoid a disgusting creature such as I, but Raziel? No. He was usually found at my heels or in Amanda's lap, and when he was after me he would waddle his wagging tail so hard it was like his body was moving in two directions at once. It was difficult not to be affectionate when the little bastard was so persistent.

Mr. Grant did not return for several days. During that time, the snow melted back to tolerable levels and Amanda left to hunt on her own. I didn't ask where she went, and she didn't share the location of her stomping grounds which was fine by me. I was still angry with her by the time the fifth night since Mr. Grant's last visit, and when the sun set to greet the sixth, I woke to another surprise

Awakened, Amanda sat by the stained glass windows again and wept quietly.

Rousing myself, I stirred; she saw me and turned around. "I'm sorry," she told me brokenly, wiping at her eyes furiously with the vigor of one who hates to cry. "I'm really, truly sorry for what I said. I've been walking on egg-shells around you and I can't stand it. If I'm going to live with you, I don't want to do it like we're sworn enemies..."

Her unexpected show of remorse startled me a little, but what truly shocked me was how she came toward me and slid into my arms willingly, her hands caressing my shoulders and her small mouth kissing my cheek and my forehead before burying her regretful visage against my shoulder. I returned her embrace with a small shudder - I knew then that an unfortunate fire had been kindled in me, and I could not have quenched it with the cooling waters of a thousand kisses like the ones she'd given me. I tightened my hold and she tightened hers, and I pressed my mouth carefully against her throat in forgiveness.

"It's all right," I assured her. "And you are right. Perhaps I don't harbor the human coherent thought of family. Do I even know what the word means anymore?"

Amanda shrugged her shoulders, her sobs having quieted to short snuffles. I stroked her back, surprising myself. I was never so gentle or affectionate. I hardened my voice slightly, thrilled that I could do it without feeling I should be repentant. "Listen, you needn't feel sorely for your actions now. It's behind us, and the past is rarely worth crying over these days."

She nodded, and we spoke of it no more and were perhaps a little more open to each other than we were before.

Glad to be rid of that emotional baggage, Amanda and I practiced practical fighting skills. She was actually gaining good experience, and she would need them if her magic ever failed her - which it might. You can never know!

Also, a great many times I saw new things appearing in our haven as if she expected us to stay here. For example, among the first thing she bought or stole was a mechanism that projected sound and most often music. At any given time of night I would return from a nightly skulking and see her sitting in the middle of the floor, or sprawled out with her eyes to the ceiling, moving her foot to the rhythm and enjoying herself by simply singing to the song itself.

"Long lost words whisper slowly to me," she'd go on. "Still can't find what keeps me here... When all this time I've been so holy inside, I know you're still there."

Watching me, wanting me. I can feel you pull me down, fearing you, loving you--

What hellish manner of music was it? Even if it was irritatingly loud, the lyrics fascinated me. Somehow I found myself sitting down and learning how to read after Amanda struggled to teach a few English lessons. Reading was easy after I found myself falling into it like I'd known all along. Amanda knew not to ask me to write anything, for which I was both grateful and sad.

One day I saw her dancing, and stopped in the doorway to admire how she moved around. It was more than silly-looking to me, but she still looked beautiful and after awhile it no longer seemed as ridiculous. Raziel was laying down, having gone to sleep early but was slowly achieving a nocturnal sleep pattern to flow with Amanda's lifestyle. The room was adorned with a bed and blankets; she dusted a few bookshelves and started filling them up with books that she loved. There were end tables flanking a dusty old couch, a television that sat untouched since she found it on top of a wooden crate.

I picked up the small booklet that went with her compact disk that was playing currently. Evanescence, it read. Fallen.

Once again my heart stung. I furtively wished she didn't surreptitiously remind me of my numerous follies. I bit my lip, flipping through and reading the text. Some of the songs made little sense to me, but a few made more sense than I had liked, and they struck deeper chords in me of remorse and jagged loneliness - songs such as Going Under and Bring Me To Life. It was not lost on me why she was so depressed!

Amanda wandered close to me, taking the small pamphlet out of my hands before drawing me closer, moving. She moved almost like a seducing sorceress, with her eyes on mine, somehow losing its shyness from her humanity.

"I tried to kill my pain," she sang modestly with the compact disk's sweet voice. "But only brought more. I lay dying... and I'm pouring... crimson regret."

Drawn over to the middle of the floor with her, I followed her with a chill settling in my blood that froze me occasionally and made my innards clench at my own foolish emotion. I was stricken by her gaze, while she secretly weaved a spell against me. Worn as I was from my travels, her arms felt good around me, pulling her closer as she did to me. My mouth curved into a dangerous smile.

I questioned softly, "What are you doing?"

"When am I not a fledgling?" she wondered out loud, the music's volume lowering. "What do I have to do to graduate into full-blooded vampire?"

"Answer my question first," I commanded of her, narrowing my eyes dangerously. She quailed a little before she stuck her tongue out at me with unrestrained arrogance that made my blood burn.

"I'm having fun," she replied innocently, detangling herself from me. "And if you don't like it, you can just walk out and go brood somewhere."

I chuckled, somewhat disappointed as she wandered over to shut off the stereo. "Clearly our ideas of fun vary by nature. Do you want to spar?"

"So you can let me kick your butt again? No, thank you." She stretched her arms over her head, bending her back painfully until it popped.

Suddenly the door jarred open and the priest entered again, who was closely followed by the familiar Mr. Grant. I tensed, folding my arms over my chest and indignant that he just walked into our not-so-secret lair.

"Soran will have you now," Mr. Grant informed us cheerfully. He regarded me for a moment to appraise my new clothing - snug black pants, boots, and a long-sleeved shirt that fell well over my wrists. A belt around my waist for good measure. "At a private location."

Amanda began to tug on her sneakers and leather jacket that was won from a battle, long ago, along with her pouch of goods. "Yeah? And if we don't like what's going on, we're leaving, got it?"

"Amanda," I cautioned, shaking my head. "Let it be."

"That's alright. Soran won't keep you long, and he has been very busy to make sure that you will be safe and comfortable for the duration of the conference." He motioned. "Please, follow me."

We followed him outside to the car, with Raziel following us. Amanda stopped, realizing he was there before she knelt, and bade him to stay.

The trip in yet another infernal car took no less than thirty minutes. The night sprawled out in all its wintry splendor and I was rarely surprised by much, but the town that we were occupying took up the space of a small kingdom, much more like the Mediterranean paradise across the sea. I wondered stupidly if towns like this covered the entire world, and if that was so, how did anyone get to enjoy nature and solitude? It was as if industry and commerce had encroached on every inch of the earth, stealing the life's breath out of it as surely as the damnation of the Pillars did Nosgoth. But things thrived. Here and there, I saw eyes in the night - vampire eyes, coyote eyes and eyes of creatures I couldn't yet name.

We drove over the highway at approximately sixty-five miles per hour. Then the car jostled us onto an unnamed road, leading up through the woods. The engine struggled, the wheels spun but we managed to find level enough ground and proceed, the trees leaning so close and laden with white blankets of snow. I peered out the windows, the Reaver with me because I would not leave it alone for more than a second. The act itself was unthinkable and clearly unacceptable.

--Amanda--

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the glass. I didn't care where I was going. I wished we'd brought Raziel. But how out of place the poor animal would be! Still I longed for his rough fur under my hands. It had been such a comfort, and many times the music that I recovered from the stores and little Razzy's presence had made everything seem brighter.

I stole a glance at Kain, who was coveting the Soul Reaver close to him, the grinning skull design on the hilt staring right at me. The gaze transfixed me, knowing full well it shouldn't be gazing at all but there it was, staring me in the face like some gruesome corpse. I pulled my knees up to my chest, looking over toward the rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of Mr. Grant's friendly face. He caught my gaze and winked.

Something, like a distant radio playing, started distantly. I looked around, trying to pinpoint its source. "Did you just turn the radio on?" I asked Mr. Grant. His response was negative, and I sank back into my cushions with my eyes closed, trying to block out the annoying white noise sound.

I was worried I was still going crazy. Sometimes I thought I heard things in the night, ever since arguing with Kain and it continued until I finally caved and apologized, almost on my hands and knees as though I were paying homage and begging forgiveness of some god. I blushed to think of Kain in that way, angry to be under such control. But it felt better and the noise in my mind stopped for awhile.

The sword continued to stare. Finally I put my hands over my ears and shut my eyes. But the noise suddenly broke, just when I was going to say something very inappropriate. Through the break of mind noise, I heard something fainter coming through, clear as though someone were trying to whisper to me without waking me up.

Trust him, the voice said. By all that's holy and good, trust him with your life, or you'll swiftly find yourself in the realm of death.

Who are you? I answered back, finding my own furtive whisper echoed back at me.

Who are you...? Who are you? Who am I? Laughter. Bitter. Joyous and despairing at the same time. It made my skin crawl, the hairs on my neck stand up in a not-so-good way.

"What is it?" Kain's voice murmured, his hand resting gently on my arm, which was crossed over my chest. I rested my other hand on his talons, almost ashamed to find myself trying to comfort myself through contact with him. "Did you hear something?"

"Nothing." I bit my lip. "Nothing, Kain."