Sorry about the absolutely horrendous lateness of this chapter. The end of term was crazy, with my exams, summer camp in Scotland (ugh! Midges and ration packs!), university visits, military parades… you get the idea. At least the studying was worth it – I got my results today – 4 A's!
I've also not had as much time as I'd like to write this holidays, as I have a pretty much fulltime job, but I have been scribbling away in my few empty moments on trains and so on, and here's the result – I hope you like it!
Chapter 15 - Fanged Platypuses and Friendships Forged
The common rooms, as the students passed through them on the way to breakfast, were as they had left them.
When the bleary-eyed students stumbled into breakfast, they noticed nothing odd, or out of place. There was nothing peculiar – well, more peculiar than usual – about the first lessons of the day either.
Walking down the Charms corridor on his way to lunch, however, Sirius did get an inkling of something strange going on when his nose detached itself from his face, rebounded from the floor, smacked him in the forehead and bounced off down the corridor, James's nose in rapid pursuit.
The two boys looked at each other, before chasing down the corridor after their mischievous appendages.
As they rounded the corridor into a more populated area of the school, their noses managed to slip away, as they gawped at the mayhem.
Everyone's noses had decided to make a run for it. A Ravenclaw girl by the name of Amy Paulusma was trying to rescue hers from a mouse hole, two fifth year Gryffindors had stolen a second year's nose and seemed to be playing a game akin to tennis with it. Sirius recognised his cousin Bellatrix among the chaos, in a towering rage and hexing anything and everything she could, and the hyperactive Charms professor was bounding down the corridor after her nose – throwing herself around and causing both herself and several students considerable damage as she tried to imitate the acrobatics of her nose.
Sirius stared in shock, absentmindedly grabbing his nose as it passed, chasing Severus Snape down the corridor, bouncing off his head. But it was not the widespread chaos, interesting though that was, that enthralled Sirius. It was a glowing silver message, hovering above the archway to the entrance hall – "Courtesy of the Phantoms".
James let out a low whistle in awe. "Wow… incredible." Sirius just scowled.
The next day the students were slightly more wary as they made their way through the corridors to breakfast. They relaxed slightly when they arrived without mishap, and began to eat cautiously, still nervous of 'additives' to the food. When nothing seemed to cause any unexpected side effects, most of the Hogwarts students dropped their guard somewhat. This was a mistake.
As usual, halfway through breakfast the owl post arrived. As usual, few students so much as glanced up at the birds swooping in. Unusually, however, the birds in question were not owls.
They were, actually, chickens. Few students noticed this discrepancy until instead of the post they usually delivered, the chickens began divebombing eggs with deadly accuracy.
In the first salvo, over a third of the students – and the dour Professor O'Cairn – had been amply splattered with egg yolk. As the chickens swooped sown to fire off some more eggs, most of the students, now alert to the threat, managed to dodge the missiles, However the chickens were relentless and by the end of breakfast over half the students had to return to their dormitories before first lesson to change their clothes, rinse off the egg white and wash the shell from their hair. The more observant students noticed the shimmering silver message on the Great Hall floor, claiming the chaos once again as the work of the Phantoms, although most were more interested in cleaning themselves up.
Sirius, who had remained unscathed by the prank, had a face like a thundercloud on noticing this. James, also relatively clean, chattered to him about how amazing the Phantoms were, and who on earth they could be, before Sirius, fed to the back teeth, snapped at him.
"And what about us? We're losing our touch, being cheated of our glory! Our reputation is being tarnished! It is time for the Marauders to strike back!
The next morning, the ceiling of the Great Hall rained custard. Unlike mpst of the students, who had taken refuge under the tables at the appearance of the peculiar precipitation – the smarter ones amongst them rescuing platters of kippers or scrambled eggs before they became inedible – Sirius leant back on his chair with a smug, satisfied expression. As a sudden explosion startled the more intrepid pupils from under the tables, Sirius's smile of self-congratulation grew as the fireworks that had just gone off spelt out 'The Marauders' in red and gold, and tickertape fell among the custard. The Marauders were back on top of the league. All was right with the world.
In the weeks that followed, most of the teaching staff were driven to despair by the constant interruptions to their lessons. Professor O'Cairn was livid when his sixth year class spent three days unable to say anything but "rhubarb". The Charms classroom became home to several colonies of frogs after the day that the entirety of Ravenclaw were afflicted with frog in the throat – the amphibians would hop out instead of words whenever the students attempted to speak.
There were augureys hidden in the suits of armour, and anyone who tried to make their way to the dungeons sunk into the floor until only their heads were visible. The final straw, though, came when the hordes of fanged platypuses roaming the school chased Filch into the astronomy tower, and didn't let him come down for a week.
As anarchy reigned in Hogwarts, the teachers were at the end of their tether, only Kitty McGonagall, and perhaps Dumbledore, finding any amusement in the situation. The only problem was, though many teachers yearned for vengeance on the perpetrators, no one could discover who the mysterious Phantoms, who claimed responsibility for the pranks, were.
Sirius, too, attempted to uncover the pranksters' identities, but for a very different reason. His own prank had appeased his pride, and now having recognised the Phantoms as masters of their craft, Sirius was hoping for some hints and tips, a sharing of ideas, perhaps even an alliance. It was with this in mind that he and James were out of bed well past curfew, roaming the school in search of the secretive jokesters.
It took several days, and a close call with Filch, before they made any progress…
"That'll bring everything towards 'em instantly – we won't get enough people that way – they'll have forewarning."
"Add in a timer to the spell, set it on a delayed reaction."
"How long for?"
"I dunno… about fifteen minutes. That way everyone'll be still at breakfast – lots of cutlery and so on for it to work with, plus we'll get a good view."
"Sounds like a plan. Oh and the plates and goblets are metal, too aren't they! It'll be mayhem."
"Should keep them on their toes, at least…"
"Sshhh! Can you hear something?"
Silence fell, and James gritted his teeth to hold back the curse that came to his lips. They were so close to the discovery of the Phantoms, and he cursed the echo of the Entrance Hall that magnified even the slightest sound. Sirius, crouched beside him, seemed to come to a decision. James watched in horror as he rose to his feet and said, "The Phantoms?"
Lily and Remus exchamged wide-eyed glances as a voice came from the darkness behind them. Whirling around, Lily knew they'd finally been found out. Raising her chin proudly, she prepared to face the consequences.
"Yes. And you are…?"
"The Marauders. We wish an alliance."
Again Lily and Remus exchanged looks, this time of incredulity, relief and suspicion.
"For what purpose?" Lily asked warily.
"For the best end of term prank in the history of Hogwarts," came the immediate reply from the strange voice.
Lily contemplated this, whispered a few words to Remus, and smiled.
"We accept."
"Excellent. Come tomorrow at six to the empty classroom at the base of the West tower."
Lily agreed, and the footsteps echoed slightly as the Marauders left.
She turned back to Remus and yawned.
"Come on, let's finish adapting this spell and go to bed. I could do with some beauty sleep!"
Sirius was practically buzzing with anticipation the next day. An alliance with the Phantoms, prankers extraordinaire!
The day seemed to crawl. The only way Sirius managed to get through it at all was to reminisce about the Phantoms' breakfast prank.
It had been clear last night that the Phantoms had placed some kind of charm on the entrance to the Great Hall. However, he hadn't been able to deduce from the snippets of overheard conversation what the spell would do.
Sirius spent most of breakfast glancing surreptitiously around the room, trying to spot the prank. Nothing seemed to be happening, at least until half way through breakfast, when he looked across the table at a third year, Natalie Fitzgerald, who seemed incapable of putting down her knife and fork to leave the table. He then noticed a Hufflepuff boy, who had been helping himself to fried tomatoes and now was unable to relinquish the bowl, as if his hands had been superglued to it, and was now extorting his friends to help pull the thing off.
No sooner did Sirius make these observations than all hell broke lose.
All over the hall, platters and pitchers began to zoom towards the students, scattering their contents indiscriminately as they went. They attached themselves to the students, whose attempts to remove then were unavailing, for as soon as they touched them, their hands became as securely fastened to the dishes as the dishes were to them. Sitting in his seat, covered in pumpkin juice and scrambled egg, Sirius guffawed, drawing strange looks from everyone around him, as he realised exactly what the Phantoms had done. They'd made all the students magnetic.
Thinking back on this memory, Sirius chuckled again as he made his way to the West tower, James beside him. His impatience had made the day's lessons seem endless, but six o'clock had finally arrived, and it was time to meet the Phantoms.
Reaching the West tower, Sirius paused outside as his stomach gave a bubble of excitement. He grasped the door handle and pushed the door open, before freezing in the door way. He stood stock still, gaping, for several moments, flabbergasted at what he saw before gasping out, "You?!"
"Yes," said Lily calmly. "Us."
James was gobsmacked. That the myriad pranks, pulled with such flair , had originated from these two rather quiet, introverted individuals was absurd; yet, thinking back to their prank war, he could see glimpses of the originality and finesse that made the Phantoms pranks so good.
Seeing Sirius still gaping like a goldfish, James rolled his eyes and decided to take matters into his own hands.
"What about this end of term prank then?" he said, in a voice slightly louder than usual. "Any ideas?"
It became a not unusual sight to now see the four first years sequestered together in a corner of the common room, chatting quietly amongst themselves or even flicking through library books, making notes, although what they were researching, no one knew. This development was met at first by incredulity, as the fiasco of the prank war and the hostility that proceeded it still fresh in the students' minds. The speculation quickly died down, however, as the looming end of year examinations claimed the students' attention. The few who noticed that certain of the Gryffindor first years were not devoting themselves entirely to revision dismissed the observation as unimportant and soon turned their thoughts back to their own textbooks…
The end of term was upon them, and the Hogwarts students, relieved the year was over, relished the chance to kick back a bit and relax at the end of term feast. No one noticed that four of the students seemed to be enjoying themselves a little too much, or recognised this for the ominous sign it was.
The House Cup had been awarded to Ravenclaw, and the feast was almost over before Lily gave the signal to trigger the spells. James, who had been watching her, waiting for this moment throughout the meal, marvelled at the friendship that had sprung up in the group over the last month. At first, merely an alliance between two pairs with a common interest – causing mass mayhem at the end of term feast – the Gryffindors had grown close as they got to know each other, and James now considered Lily and Remus to be some of the best people he knew - and the most fun. His overtures of friendship had been tentative at first, as he remembered the awful way he had treated the pair – especially Lily. She had just rolled her eyes and laughed at him, saying, "Yeah, yeah. You were wrong and we were right and you apologise from the depths of your soul for your juvenile, insensitive behaviour, blah, blah, blah. Heard it all before – from Sirius, in fact." James had grinned, and a firm friendship had been formed between the four, with the past forgiven, if not forgotten – James was going to be very wary of pissing Lily off in future.
James was shocked out of his thoughts by the giggles around him. He grinned widely as he saw the prefects start to shrink in size. Soon they were just under a foot high and they began to stiffen, the squeaky-voiced protests dying as they became incapable of motion. Their clothes began to change, beards began to grow, and in under a minute the entire prefect body had become Muggle garden gnomes. The attention of the giggling students was torn from this glorious spectacle as a spout of water grew out of the centre of the floor like a willow tree, followed by a wide stone pool. The fountain flowed merrily for a few moments before the entire faculty – bar the headmaster – made a leap off the dais, seemingly in order to call a halt to the havoc, but somehow in mid air the staff simultaneously became sea lions. After a few surprised looks, the teachers adapted readily to their new species, and began to frolic happily in the fountain, the occasional fish salvaged from the remnants of the feast being thrown their way by the jubilant students.
Changes were now starting to come over the headmaster, too. With a pop, his purple wizarding robes were replaced by a brightly coloured Hawaiian shirt and shades appeared in place of his half moon spectacles. Finally, his beard wove itself into dreadlocks. Conjuring a mirror from mid air, Dumbledore surveyed his reflection with a faint smile, before turning back to the student body and remarking, "Well, man. This be jammin'"
Few of the students heeded the remark of the ancient Rastafarian, as they now became distracted by various predicaments themselves. Several of them sprouted antlers, more began to walk around the Great Hall on their hands, while the remainder found their tongues transfigured into party blowers.
The distraction also proved useful; for Sirius, James, Remus and Lily, 'miraculously' unscathed by the various magical ailments, who exchanged high fives before settling back to watch the grand finale.
Confetti showered from the ceiling, and in a final message from the friends, glowing golden letters, four foot high, appeared hovering over the staff table.
"Congratulation for surviving the year! From the Marauders and the Phantoms – rescuers from boredom and small scale terrorists!"
Lily smiled across the table at Remus.
"Well, I guess that's that – one down, and six to go…"
So there we are! The end of the first year.
I want a little advice from my readers – would you rather this continued as one big story, or should I do each year as a separate story? It'll be the same plot, same content, just a different way of formatting it. Which would you prefer?
Let me know!
BTW, I've also updated another of my stories (to make up for the appalling delay!) "Harry Potter and the Enchanter's Heir" – check it out if you have some spare time, I'd love some more feedback for it.