Title: Purple Trance and Co. go out for a drink

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Nothing. Nada. Ok, now you made me cry. Are ya happy now, are ya?

Characters: The whole season one gang is here, some characters more than others. I can't help it, I'm just really bad at writing some of the characters.

Genre: This is supposed to be humor. Indulge me. Well, except for chapter 4. See the note at the beginning of that chapter for an explanation.

AN: This story is technically incomplete, though I suppose this type of thing could really end anywhere. I have three more chapters in mind, one of which is largely written, but I feel I am losing the funny. So, if this doesn't sound too pathetic I am hoping for a smidge of feedback to lemme know 1) if I have completely lost the funny (or never had it!) 2) if I should finish the last few chapters or just let it be. Many Thanks!!

Note #2: Egads!! I have just (12/16/2004) read (or possibly reread) Brit2's story And the Winner Is! And either we are on the same wavelength or I have unintentionally borrowed her 'Harper gets Rommie drunk' plot point. Sorry! If it bothers, let me know and I'll alter it.

"Oh come on Dylan, don't be such a stick in the mud. Even Tyr is coming." Beka leaned back against the door to the Maru. For the last five minutes she had been trying to tease Dylan into joining the rest of the crew for a trip to the least sleezy bar on this particular drift and bringing Tyr into the argument was her last ploy. The two were increasingly competitive. Must be the Nietzschean testosterone.

Tyr glared at Beka, not pleased at being brought into the discussion. "I am only coming because the largest arms dealer on this pathetic little drift drinks there every night. And we are in desperate need of weaponry. Do I need remind you of how we were nearly destroyed…"

"Ah, no. Actually you don't." Tyr could be a real killjoy thought Beka. But at least Dylan looked like he might be changing his mind. Beka smirked, she was getting really good at manipulating him. "See Dylan, something for everyone – weapons for Tyr, potential converts for Rev Bem, girls for Harper to drool on and drive away, little umbrella drinks for Trance, and a little well-earned R & R for you. So, are you in or not?" Hands on her hips, Beka made it clear that this was her last invitation.

Dylan shook his head a little, looked down at the floor and back up at his first officer. "Well, when you put it that way how could I refuse?"

Beka loved winning. She gave Dylan her best smart-ass grin, "I knew you couldn't." Tyr rolled his eyes at both of them.

Everyone else was already waiting in the Maru when Dylan returned 10 minutes later, still wearing his High Guard uniform. Beka, Trance, and Harper had all changed into their preferred night-out-on-the-town clothes. Tyr's normal clothing was night out worthy, though his choice of accessories, 2 extra guns and 2 large knives in addition to his force lance, was a little unusual for anyone but a Nietzschean. Even Rev Bem was wearing nicer robes than normal. Only Dylan would wear a uniform out to a drift bar. The crew secretly believed that Dylan only owned uniforms and the sweats he played basketball in. There were bets on which he wore to bed but no one was willing to be the one to find out.

They were chatting excitedly when he walked in and took a quick look around. "So I assume Rommie drew the short straw and gets to stay behind to hold down the fort?"

Holo-Andromeda appeared at the entrance to the Maru. "Androids are not welcome on this drift, and although my avatar could probably pass for human she has no interest in experiencing the type of 'night-life' you all seem to prefer. Specifically she said 'I don't need to go to a drift to turn down unwanted sexual advances, I have Harper for that.'"

"Hey!" was all Harper could come up with in reply, while Trance and Beka laughed. Even Rev Bem was amused, "Ah yes, our Harper is quite skilled at making unwanted advances. He has, after all, more practice than most."

Harper tried to argue, but Tyr was not interested. "Boy, none of us wants to hear anymore of your stories. I want you all to know that I have no intention of 'bonding' with you tonight. I am going to meet my contact, make my deal, pick up my goods, and then await you on the Maru. Any foolishness you are involved with tonight is your own business, unless it interferes with mine. Make sure that it doesn't."

Trance just smiled at Tyr's rather pretentious announcement, while Harper snorted, Rev looked slightly irritated, and Beka crossed her arms in front of her. Dylan decided it was time to get going before the tensions got any worse. "Alright then, if everything is settled, can we get this show on the road as they used to say on old Earth?"

Harper got a foolish grin on his face, "You mean, 'Let's Bring It'?"

Everyone rolled their eyes at that, even Holo-Andromeda. Dylan clapped his hands down on Harper's shoulders, "Mr. Harper that is my line. You never get to say my line. Never. Besides, you didn't even say it right."

Trance couldn't contain her excitement anymore, and began bouncing on the balls of her feet. She looked over at Beka who was smiling at the enthusiastic young woman. "Please can we go now? There's supposed to be a Yoshido game in the back room. I love Yoshido!" Trance was now clapping and almost jumping with eagerness. It was adorable and infectious and everyone's tensions eased. Trance looked around pleased with the results of her little display. Well, pleased with everyone except for Tyr. His shoulders had tensed into a near fighting stance and he was growling lowly at her. Oh well she thought, you can't win them all.