Author's note: I do not own the characters from "X-Men Evolution" or "G.I. Joe". They are the sole properties of Marvel Comics and Sunbow Entertainment, respectively. All original characters of the Misfits, including Althea, Xi, Blind Master, Trinity, Lina and Ms. March are by the creation of wonderful fanfic authoress, Red Witch, who has graciously lent her universe for this story. The fanfic characters Paul Starr, Craig Starr, and Jenni Starr are property of fellow fanfic author, L1701E. So please, for the love of God, don't sue me! I credited everyone! The only character I own is my OC, Justin/Whitelighter. Anyway, in the tragedy of the tsunami victims in Asia and various parts of the world, I thought I could dedicate this one-shot in their memory, and to show that help is always needed and will be needed for a long time.
Charity and Chaos Go Hand in Hand
"Just be sure to keep the gauze dry and change it every day to prevent the covering from turning septic," Lina advised in her native tongue as she finished administering the bandages to the gouge wound of one Indian civilian, his temples and forehead wrapped securely with clean, sterile bandages. The man, though still unnerved by the strange dragonfly-girl's appearance, managed to give her a very grateful smile as she handed her thousandth patient a box of clean gauze and antibiotic ointment, enough for at least two weeks. Being in Sri Lanka was not the slightest bit uncomfortable to Lina for she luckily managed to interpret and communicate with many civilians who also knew her Indian language, and it greatly aided her role in administering medical aid to the scores and scores of the injured.
It was two days after the tragic tsunami incident that resulted in such heavy losses of innocent lives. Ever since the great earthquake, G.I. Joe immediately sprang into action, doing everything they could from raising donations for the many charities and organizations deployed to Asia to delivering goods and supplies to the many needy towns left stranded and cut off from nearby civilization. And the Misfits were more than willing to help out as well. Well, almost all of them. Wanda and Xi had to drag Pietro to work considering the albino speedster said he'd rather spend time at the latest Versace fashion show hosted in France. And when he woke up from the tranquilizer darts and realized he was already being transported to Asia, Quicksilver tried making a break for it, but Althea and Cover Girl wisely chained him to his seat in the helicopter along with the general threats from the Misfit handlers that he would lose his make-up and sewing privileges for a whole month along with getting the job of personally babysitting Claudius and Barney for the next year if he didn't help out. And that included diaper-duty.
In short, all of the Misfits were out in various countries, trying their best to make a difference and helping out.
Fred was not too far off, carrying heavy bundles of food and fresh water to the site while many young children watched him in awe. Fred smiled as he also brought down a huge sack he slung over his shoulder, and when he opened it, the children could see that it was filled to the brim with blankets, new clothes, shoes, and colorful, stuffed animals. Many of the toddlers cheered as Fred handed them out with great care and respect. Since most of their possessions were washed out with the destructive waves, the toddlers didn't have any clothes other than the ragged, soaked and ruined ones they were currently wearing when the tsunami hit. And the blankets and toys were the icing on the cake. One orphaned ten-year old girl, who lost her parents in the tsunami, managed to temporarily forget her depression as she wiped her eyes with joy when Fred handed her a soft, cuddly stuffed-tiger doll along with a new, woolen jacket and dry sandals. Fred chuckled as the girl awkwardly hugged him, but her arms were so small, she could barely put them around Blob's neck.
"You're welcome, ya little tyke," he chuckled as she scampered off to her dubious aunt and uncle who were watching Fred with wary unease. Fred sighed in disappointment as he continued to hand out rations; even in foreign countries, there was still general fear and mistrust against mutants. Though the children were more accepting and compliant, the general consensus of the public would have rather preferred if the Misfits didn't come out and help. The public reaction had ranged from quiet distancing to outright glares and curses. Lina herself had experienced several people screaming in horrified rage when they saw her, demanding to be kept away from the "demon-girl" and for someone normal to care for their aid. Lifeline tried his best to comply without argument, but since there were so many wounded and dying, it got to the point where Dragonfly angrily told them that either they allowed her to help them treat their injuries or that they would die. Tragically enough, one frail, elderly man chose the latter path, his dying words being a curse to Lina, hoping that she would be reincarnated into the filthy insect she was as of now. Lina wisely chose to not repeat these events to Fred; she certainly didn't want him to be angry and make a scene for her sake.
Far off across the sea, Roadblock, Flint, Lady Jaye and Bree were dealing with the crisis in Thailand, and helping them out were several other Joes and the Misfits, Althea, Todd, and Xi. Despite the initial reaction to Toad and Xi's abnormal appearances, many of the relief aid and Thailand habitants did not question the offer for help from the three mutants, especially when none of the government officials were willing to tell them off after seeing Wavedancer use her hydrokinesis to draw the water and huge debris out of the residential areas and flooded streets, salvaging many homes from being further damaged and allowing rescue teams to sift through the drained areas. No one was apparently foolish enough to anger a mutant that powerful, and the soldiers were all too willing to help them see that the Misfits, despite their abilities, truly wished to give aid.
While Althea was helping the rescue teams and civilians search for bodies and survivors in the wrecked city of Phuket, Toad and Xi were busy carrying convoys of medicine and food to many of the refugee camps and shelters hastily made around the area, where the primal, small villages resided. Since the crashing force of the ocean had washed out many of the dirt and thin, concrete roads leading to these towns, the villagers did not have any way of receiving the supplies from the salvation trucks on the other ends of the wiped out roads. And there were too many surrounding trees to allow a helicopter to land safely and air-drop the needed resources to the small inlets. It was certainly a dilemma, but not so for the two mutants…
"Comin' through!" yelled Toad and Xi as they hopped gracefully amongst the wrecked trees and precarious mud of the washed out roads. With so much debris and mud, it was going to be tricky to walk safely across the huge, yawning gaps of where the roads once lay, and time was of the essence. So Lady Jaye and Flint hit upon the brilliant idea for Toad and Xi to act as delivery men, as a quick convoy between the stranded sides of the bridges. Thanks to their training, Xi and Toad could lift fifty-pound knapsacks full of food and medicine and make headway through the mud with their ninja gracefulness as easily as acorns falling off an oak tree while Roadblock used the bulldozer to clear another path for the other aides to use in the near future. For the past several hours, Xi and Toad have handed over thousands and thousands of parcels and supplies to the eagerly waiting villagers and relief organizations back and forth across the gaps. Bree herself went along with them for she was needed within the small towns in order to lead the efforts of the Red Cross and the medical teams. Already, so many people were requesting medical attention due to cholera, typhoid, gangrene and trauma, the hospital camps were swamped. And so were Toad and Xi.
"Toad?" called out Rachel, a volunteer for the Red Cross as Xi handed out bottles of water and canned food as fast as he could, "We need more vaccines for malaria! We're using them so quickly, we've already gone through ten crates, and there are still a lot of people who haven't been inoculated yet! And we could use more disinfectant and antibiotics as well! Please, can you hurry and hop across the road as fast as you can?! We need as much as we can get!"
"I'm on it!" Toad nodded obediently as he took the list of urgently-needed medicines Rachel had written down as a message for the suppliers on the other side before hopping off speedily. Xi continued to hand out the supplies along with Rachel who was smiling gratefully at the snake-like mutant. Unlike many of her co-workers, she didn't view the Misfits at all as strange and was appreciative of how much they were willing to pitch in.
In Indonesia, the Joes Cover Girl, Low Light, Tripwire, and Bazooka were doing their best to deliver humanitarian care-packages containing everyday items such as soap, cooking fuel, matches, diapers, buckets, toothbrushes and candles to hordes and hordes of women and men, clutching the bags like priceless jewels and gold. It was amazing how much these normal things people usually took for granted were critically needed after a disaster such as this. Tripwire and Bazooka were also handing out bags of rice, a normal staple in the Asian diet, and these bags of food were also being treated like gold.
Of course, as it could be predicted, Tripwire and Bazooka dropped and spilled almost as many bags as they gave away, but no one complained much.
Elsewhere, amongst the many fishing villages lined amongst the coast of isle of Sumatra, Wanda was helping the fellow villagers digging new wells of fresh water. At first, thanks to the help of Daria, Quinn and Brittney, who were able to act as translators and interpreters, the men scoffed, saying that it would be near impossible to be able to tap into an underground, freshwater spring (if there even was one) running below the surface. Yet they never experienced Scarlet Witch's ability to change the probable factors into her favor with her hex-bolts. Within hours, the island had over ten different wells, all brimming with fresh, clean water that hadn't been contaminated with sea-salt or mosquito larvae. Wanda herself eagerly dug alongside the grateful civilians with her shovel, wallowing deep in trenches of dirt and rock, but she obviously didn't care. The grateful joy of helping out was definitely worth more than being slicked in mud and dirt from the hard labor of digging. Wanda didn't care how many blisters or sores she got. The wells were a godsend; many of the people had not had such clean water in days, and they were slowly perishing from thirst and dehydration. Even with ten separate wells, there were still long, unmoving lines, ready to dive into the luxury of clean water, and more sources were still needed.
Trinity, on the other hand, were doing their best to comply with the thousands and thousands of fishermen asking for the Triplets' help on rebuilding their boats and motors. Since many of the ships had been wrecked by the crashing forces of the tsunami and the villages' main source of food and economy was fishing, Daria, Quinn, and Brittney were only too glad to help. It was simply amazing to see the triplet sisters transform the rusty, overused, stone-age motors into nicely cleansed and oiled, brand new apparatuses by using simple sheet metal, hammers, various screws, tinfoil, coconut milk, and, surprisingly enough, bubble gum.
Meanwhile, in India within the province of Tamil Nadu, Pietro wasn't exactly having the time of his life…
"I could be rubbing elbows with the most gorgeous fashion models! I could be getting a first-insider look at the next fashion clichés and breakthroughs! I could be sipping Chardonnay with Giorgio Armani and Vera Wang! I could be having the time of my life in Europe! But noooooo! I had to be dragged here, kicking and screaming!" whined the albino mutant as he delivered his thousandth load of supplies of food, medicine, plugs, and light-bulbs to many refugee camps, schools, and mosques. Due to his mutation, Pietro made himself very ideal to be an immediate shipment convoy, being bale to cover long distances to other towns in matters of minutes and seconds, and as such, it would be more useful to have Pietro deliver the critical goods needed immediately while Spirit was organizing and coordinating the efforts and duties for everyone. Not too far away, the Joes Beachhead, Dusty, Tunnel Rat, Mainframe and Cross Country were helping out with communications by routing a Joe satellite to the middle of the base, helping thousands of people reach each other by simple phone and e-mail without any overloads.
"If you have enough energy to complain, then you have enough strength to carry these extra blankets and mattress to the Alpha-5 refugee camp, north-northeast of here," Spirit smiled as he dumped the additional, aforementioned items into Pietro's weary arms. Quicksilver stifled another moan of disappointment since it would usually lead to him being punished with additional KP duty if he kept grousing and whining like a spoiled brat. Spirit had to chuckle softly; deep down, Pietro would have gladly helped out but would rather walk down the road to hell barefoot than admit his sentimentality.
At the refugee camps nearby, Whitelighter, Avalanche, and Blind Master were busy helping out the thousands of stranded, homeless people settle in. Blind Master was taking down records of each person, along with any possible identification, personal information, and posting missing reports to UNICEF and to the Joes, hoping that they may be able to reunite any survivors back to their families and relatives by tracing them from other camps and reports from local hospitals. The tally would also help the Indian government keep track of their civilians' current statuses. Justin was now actually starting to learn how to control his abilities of healing, and before long, many people were requesting Whitelighter to come use his powers on them for their cuts, lacerations, and broken bones. Though Justin wouldn't be able to cure diseases and infections, it still was helpful enough to lessen down the severity of the public health and allow the workers of the "Doctors Without Borders" organization to treat the truly afflicted. Throughout the day, Gabriel could get glimpses of healing sunlight radiating amongst the tightly packed crowds in the camps and medical bays. Yet it was Lance who was deemed as the most helpful. Lance was able to terra-form the earth in order to drain away much of the flooded, inaccessible areas and homes from the oceans along with forming new, sturdy roads leading to and from the villages, which definitely aided much of the urgent travel for the cars and people through the precarious mud and fallen trees. The teenager also managed to find several areas close to the mountains, and by using his powers, formed a multitude of snug, dry caves and niches in the walls, ideal and warm enough for temporary living and slumber for both the relief workers and the victims.
"This is a complete waste of my time!" carried on Pietro as he dumped off his load to Blind Master, Lance and Justin to hand out to the camp, "Why couldn't we just make a donation like everybody else and get over this?! Why'd we have to come here?!!"
Blind Master patiently replied while helping an elderly, frail woman rest upon the available medical cot, "Pietro, we did make donations, but this crisis requires a lot more than money. Even if we did it once, the tsunami has destroyed everything these people had, taking away their security, their homes, everything. It will take years and years before we can even start helping the people rebuild what they have lost, and as such, one simple donation to the relief funds for just one single act of kindness isn't going to fix things. It may help, but not in the dramatic way in what we are doing right now."
Lance then snapped back, a bit heatedly, "Aw, stop being such a whiner, Pietro! At least you'd be doing something good instead of being the usual big pain in the ass like you always are! And remember, the Joes already are raising money and having some of our friends help out, not to mention the rest of the world's trying to do their part! Willow and the Eloi made a lot of these clothes and blankets that we're giving the refuges along with providing a lot of the fruits and vegetables. Paul and Craig Starr of the Superstarrs along with their cousin, Shining Starr, are doing concerts for their fans in order to raise enough money in donations for the United Nations' 'Tsunami Relief Aid'. Lifeline and Bree asked their buddies in various hospitals and medical establishments to send free medicines and surgical tools, and hell, even the Dinosaucers sent a huge bunch of diamonds and gems to Airtight so that he could sell them and give the profits to UNICEF!"
"But I don't wanna be here! I wanna be in Europe at the Versace fashion show! I'm not getting paid for this!" whined Pietro, close to acting like a child with a temper tantrum, throwing a hissy fit on the ground…except that the metaphorical child would manage to look less pathetic.
"Well, on the bright side, Pietro," Justin managed to offer gently, "this will be something even better than a fashion show because you're going to be helping people, and besides…you can always go to another one after this. And it doesn't matter if we don't get paid for this. Some things are worth more than money."
Quicksilver just grumbled under his breath before he took off again to deliver more goods from Spirit, but Blind Master managed to hear something along the lines of "happy-sappy bubble-headed twit" and "Ned Flanders knock-off". Blind Master just rolled his eyes behind his dark glasses before turning his attention to Lance and Justin. However…
"Well, well, well," drawled a female's cold voice from behind them, "if it isn't the army freaks of nature, the Misfits. And it looks like you have more abominations to add on to your little trash collection."
"Oh no," groaned Lance to himself, recognizing the voice, as he, Justin and Blind Master turned around. There, standing there with her hands on her hips and a look of sick disdain scowled on her tanned, mannish face, was the despicable Ms. March, wearing jeans, a FOH T-shirt, and a brown suede jacket.
"You know her, Lance?" Justin asked hesitantly.
"Unfortunately," Lance grimaced in disgust, wishing that the tsunami took her along instead of the hundreds of innocent men, women, and children.
"Trust me, you earth-shaker hoodlum," snapped Ms. March at Lance, "I'm not glad about this either! And if were up to me, I'd see to it that you mutie rejects are thrown in the highest maximum-security prison available instead of ruining our efforts of charity! At least the X-Men were smart enough to keep their noses out of this and leave us in peace, but then again, it comes to no surprise since I've always said the Misfits were the stupider of the two."
"I don't think you're very nice," Justin commented flatly at the woman.
"And I don't think strays like you should be allowed without a leash or without being put down, you glowing freak!" Ms. March shot back.
"What are you doing here, March?" growled Blind Master, "Last time I checked, you got fired from your last job and had to move out of Bayville."
Ms. March then leered wickedly as she spoke in a superior tone, "Well, due to this recent tsunami disaster, I managed to work my way into the Red Cross organization! You're looking at the head of the Human Resources department! And since so many volunteers were needed, the Red Cross was too busy to ask a lot of questions about my backgrounds. But then again, it won't do you much good even if you try telling them. After all, I think the Red Cross would be less likely to take the word of a blind G.I. Joe cripple who's also a mutie-lover. Just a word of warning: we don't need your kind of help, so you three better get lost while you still can."
She then cockily sauntered off, leaving Blind Master and Avalanche to glare at her retreating back.
"Maybe things aren't as bad as they seem. Maybe she was just making an idle threat," Justin tried to say, hoping to calm down the bristling Gabriel and Lance. Meanwhile, at the same time in Indonesia…
"Wanda, how could you hex that one UNICEF worker?!" scolded Low Light at the goth girl.
"He goosed me!" defended Wanda, "And besides, he deserved it! He made unwelcome advancements on Cover Girl and several of the other female villagers around here too! And I didn't see you complaining when Cover Girl cleaned his clock and threw him into one of the wells earlier!"
"A black eye and bruises are one thing, Scarlet Witch," groaned Low Light, blushing, "Hexing his clipboard to be shoved up a certain rectal area is another!"
Cover Girl then placed a hand on Wanda's surly shoulder, adding gently, "Look, I know you meant well, Scarlet Witch, and yeah, that guy was a perverted jerk, but I guess we have to remember to hold in our tempers and just remember all the people we're helping regardless of what we go through."
A voice, elegant but with a touch of Southern huskiness to it, then mocked behind the female G.I. Joe, "Courtney?? Courtney Krieger?? The ex-model that was classified as friendly 'Port Peach' by every naval base solider within a thousand miles? I thought I could recognize your bad fashion apparel and hackneyed hairstyle from anywhere."
Cover Girl stiffened as she whirled around at the derogatory nickname. There, smirking at her, was a beautiful female model in her late thirties with flowing, curly blond hair of gold, a trim, well-shaped figure, and with a sharp face containing lips spread out in a satisfied, condescending smile. The woman was wearing silver Armani sunglasses, noticeable touches of blush, eye-shadow, mascara, and red lipstick, along with perfectly manicured, pink nails matching her soft, beige Chanel silk blouse and Gucci black skirt along with her Gucci black, leather boots.
"Uh-oh," murmured Brittney, recognizing the woman.
"You know her?" Bazooka asked obliviously.
Brittney winced as she explained, "I know about her. That's Malerie Surprise."
Bazooka's eyes widened at the name, blurting out, "Malerie Surprise? As in, supermodel, has-more-popularity-than-Tyra-Banks, has her own clothing line and cosmetics company, starts-her-own-reality-TV-series-in-the-fall Malerie Surprise?!!"
"Yep, but trust me on this, she's a real witch deep down. She and Cover Girl used to be models of the same clothing company back in Cover Girl's early days before she joined with G.I. Joe. And they were not very friendly to each other since they kinda started a rivalry. Cover Girl told us how they fought over things so badly, Cover Girl had to leave the modeling business and that was when she decided to join up with G.I. Joe."
"What exactly happened?"
Quinn then jumped in, "Oh you know the usual…Cover Girl turns out to be prettier than Malerie so she gets more exposure to the camera…Malerie gets jealous, so she spreads a rumor about Cover Girl throughout the studio…Cover Girl hears rumor and gets in catfight with Malerie…Malerie gets back by making Cover Girl miss a photo-shoot by slipping a horse-tranquilizer in her drink…Cover Girl gets back by putting Nair in Malerie's hair gel…Malerie then gets a wig before burning down Cover Girl's dressing room…Cover Girl then burns down Malerie's apartment…Malerie then gets a baseball bat and breaks Cover Girl's car windows…Cover Girl then rents a wrecking ball and just breaks Malerie's car period…after a few restraining orders and catfights later, Malerie and Cover try to make up and be the best of friends, but then Malerie double-crosses Cover Girl by 'losing' Cover Girl's application to be a model for the top model agency in the world…Malerie sabotages Cover Girl's chances and gets the offer herself…Cover Girl finds out, blows a head gasket…then Malerie ends up in the hospital due to some 'unfortunate accidents'…then Malerie's boyfriend visits Malerie in hospital and falls for Cover Girl instead…Cover Girl steals Malerie's boyfriend…Malerie gets dumped…Malerie then gets Cover Girl fired for apparently dating the agency's CEO's son even though Malerie neglects to mention she dated the son first…Cover Girl gets booted…Cover Girl then switches Malerie's birth control pills with testosterone tablets…Malerie gets pregnant and dumped by current boyfriend, finds out Cover Girl screwed her over…Malerie gets abortion before trying to run down Cover Girl with her car…Cover Girl then tries to run over Malerie with a tank…ends up to be a car chase across the United States that causes lots of property damage and could have put the police chase in the movie 'The Blues Brothers' to shame…SWAT team has to be called to break them up from trying to strangle each other when they all crashed into the middle of the Epcot center in Orlando's Disneyworld…"
"I think I get the picture, Quinn," groaned Bazooka, a headache already starting to form from the confusing reasoning Quinn provided. Meanwhile, Ms. Malerie Surprise was scoffing at the muddy Cover Girl standing in front of her, wearing a plain army shirt and slacks along with carrying a shovel for digging the wells alongside Wanda.
"My, my, my, so now you're offering your services to the United States army as well? I must commend you, Krieger, for showing so much dedication to the United States militia. After all, you certainly are doing your part for all the thousands and thousands of servicemen fighting for national security, but I never knew that they offer medals for women who can stay on their backs for the longest times."
Cover Girl started grinding her teeth against each other, now suddenly having a very vivid picture of how she'd like to use her shovel.
"Uh, Ms. Surprise, we're ready to shoot the commercial," spoke a timid teamster from the background, and Cover Girl, Low Light, Bazooka, Tripwire, Scarlet Witch, and Trinity then all noticed that there was a crude set of lamps, spotlights, and cameramen amongst the jungle along with a very stuffy-looking director. Malerie's face suddenly melted to one of honey-coated sweetness and wholesome goodness as she did an about-face and turned her attention to the cameras. The director then guided a six-year old, shivering, raggedy-looking child to Malerie, but the model was not the least bit gentle as she forcefully grabbed the toddler and forced him to remain still as she picked him up and cradled him to the camera's view.
"Aaaannnnnnnnnnnd…ACTION!" yelled the director.
The Misfits and Joes just watched in disbelief as Malerie spoke in a smooth, soft, gentle voice of a motherly figure to the camera, "Hello friends, and I am Malerie Surprise. You know, children are our future, and many have high hopes and dreams of how they wish to change this world to be a better place, but due to the tragedy of the tsunami, our children of the world are in grave danger, having lost their security, their parents, and everything they love and cherish so dear. But this is when you can help. For every time you purchase an item of 'Malerie's Cosmetics', one dollar shall be donated to the Worldwide Tsunami Relief Fund. Remember: the children are our future, but we must give them a wonderful past and present."
Cover Girl started softly retching as the theme music of NBC-network's "The More You Know" started playing in the background, saying, "Oh God, could anything be any more nauseating?"
"Well, at least she's doing a good thing with helping out," Bazooka emphasized helpfully.
"Aaaaannnnnnnnnd…CUT! That's a wrap!!" the director yelled. Immediately, Malerie did a complete personality-shift.
"Get this brat off me!" she barked in an icy, pompous tone as she unceremoniously dropped the child back on the ground painfully, causing the frightened young one to sob in fear, "Dear God, I can't believe I actually touched that gutter-trash! I swear, that rugrat's grimy little hands just ruined by thousand-dollar blouse!! And will somebody stop that ragamuffin from crying before I have to slap the little brat's mouth shut?! He's annoying me!!"
"He's just a kid, Malerie!!" Cover Girl raged angrily, furious at the mistreatment of the child, as Wanda and Low Light rushed over to the six-year old, making sure he wasn't hurt. Malerie then scoffed at Cover Girl, her nose in the air.
"He's an orphan, so it's not like any of his parents are around to object to him being in the commercial, Krieger. After all, he's nothing but gutter-trash, just like you are, so who cares what happens to that one kid? There's plenty of free-loading, filthy savages just like that one, so feel free to lie around with the mutts, Courtney, while I go off and actually succeed in my career…something you were never able to do despite your 'intimate interviews'."
Low Light winced at the brilliant shade of red Cover Girl's face flushed into, a shining ruby color.
"Now remember, Cover Girl," Wanda smiled smugly, repeating her guardian's very words, "we must learn to just hold our tempers and just remember all the people we're helping regardless of what we go through."
Cover Girl just barked back, "Cut the crap and help me teach that backstabbing, two-faced cow a lesson!!"
"Now you're talking," Daria grinned at last.
"Uh-oh," murmured Bazooka and Tripwire in unison…
At the same time, in Sri Lanka, things kind of went downhill...
Lina was treating a woman's twisted ankle when she and Lifeline were held up by several male bandits at gunpoint, the leader of the group demanding Dragonfly to step aside and allow his group to help themselves to the patients' jewelry and the Joes' medical supplies, taking away precious medicines that could be used to treat so many afflicted, and yet at the same time, would fetch a handsome price at the black market dealing. Fortunately, Leatherneck and Wet Suit, coming back from their duty of bagging the corpses, saw what was happening when they entered the medical camp, and enraged, they flung themselves on the looters. With Lifeline and Dragonfly assisting the two brawling Joes, the bandits, thoroughly scared, were lucky to escape with their lives and bones intact. Undaunted, the four began to chase them for the group of bandits managed to make off with a considerable cache of valuables. Fred then lumbered directly in front of the chase.
Lina, who was flying in the air, called out urgently to Fred, "Blob, hurry, stop those guys!! Stop them!! They're bandits!! They just stole some of our medicines and some of the patients' money and jewelry!!"
Frowning, Blob acted quick and squatted heavily in front of the path, blocking the thieves and looters' escape to the main roads. Furious, the leader then took out his pistol and shot a bullet point-blank directly at Blob right between the eyes, a sure-shot kill. Lina screamed in fright, but then the thief was shocked to see Blob calmly remove the flattened bullet from his mutant, impervious skin before grabbing the gunman by the front of his shirt roughly. With one hand, Fred snatched the gun from the looter's numb palm before crushing it like a soda can with his fist. With a simple lob, the bandit leader was sent screaming, flying in the air in a graceful arc before landing directly into the middle of a pond of coy and heron birds. Now completely frightened of what else the hulking mutant could do with his super-strength, the looters immediately dashed towards the entrance of a crowded Hindu temple, hoping to lose their pursuers amongst the throngs of people.
"They're making a run for it!" shrieked Dragonfly as she spotted them darting away into the crowds of the temple from her aerial view high above.
"We're on it, Private! Charge!" yelled Leatherneck as he and Wet Suit suddenly appeared, driving with full speed ahead in dark-green Panther tanks. Lifeline and Blob looked at the two in shock.
"I am almost afraid to ask where they got those tanks," Lifeline said.
"Wait, you guys!! I don't think -!!" Fred called out in warning.
CRUNCH! SMASH!! Crumble, crumble!
"…that the tanks will fit through the front door," groaned Fred, finishing his sentence too late as he now winced at the gaping hole of what used to be the stone-sculpted entrance of the temple. Lifeline sighed as he noticed the Hindu holy men jumping up and down, red-faced with shocked anger, and throwing absolute fits.
"Lina, do I even want to know what the temple's priests are saying right now?" Lifeline grimaced as he spoke through his wrist-communicator.
"Trust me, you don't. Even I can here it from up here in the air…though I have to admit, I never thought they knew those kinds of words. Although it might get a little worse, Lifeline. From what I can see, the entrance isn't the only thing Leatherneck and Wet Suit are going to wreck in the temple."
"Oh joy," murmured Lifeline as he heard another series of explosions rock the foundation of the holy institution mixed in with the screaming of pain and pleading mercies of the outlaws.
Roadblock could have honestly repeated that sarcastic sentiment as he, Flint, and Lady Jaye were battling the Dreadnoks as they rushed around the city and towns on their turbo-charged motorcycles. Apparently, Zartan heard about the Joes' excursions to help out with the tsunami victims, so he and the Cobra mercenaries decided to have a little fun of causing some noticeable damage. Already, Zandar and Zarana were driving around, firing off clips from their Uzi machine-guns and sending many innocent people into a panic as they ducked and whimpered under the rainfall of bullets while Torch, Buzzer, Monkeywrench and Road-Pig were throwing sticks of dynamite at everything in sight, sending much debris and shrapnel flying from the explosions. Already, many convoys transporting food and supplies were reduced to smoldering and flaming wreckage.
"Don't you losers have anything else better to do than annoy us?!!" snapped Bree as she used a tree branch as a baseball bat in order to send one thrown dynamite-bunch flying back directly at Monkeywrench which sent the poor mercenary flying when his beloved motorcycle burst into flames.
"Get lost, Dreadnoks! This country's already gone through a tsunami and earthquake and major altercations!! It doesn't need to be further troubled by a rat infestation!!" shouted Roadblock as he managed to shoot his machine gun at Zarana's front tire, puncturing it with his bullets and causing the female, red-haired Cobra solider to skid uncontrollably and roll-over.
"You leave these people along, you jerks!" yelled Rachel, the Red Cross worker, as she tried to bravely stand up against the motorcycle terrorists who started driving through the tents and campsites of the civilians. Sneering, Torch drove by and snatched the relief worker into his strong grip.
"How about a kiss, sweetheart?" he grinned cheekily as he puckered up his lips at the kidnapped girl spread out over the crossbars of his motorcycle.
"I'd rather suck pond-scum!" snapped Rachel as she let Torch have it directly in the nose with a good haymaker. Yelping, Torch lost his balance as he clutched his bleeding nose with both hands, unfortunately forgetting that he needed to steer his vehicle, and Rachel shrieked as she saw they were fast approaching a tree. Luckily, Rachel felt herself get snatched out of Torch's arms right before the motorcycle crashed into the wooden trunk.
CRASH!
"Ow, my spine…" groaned Torch as he lay sprawled out on the ground. Rachel looked at her rescuer who was gracefully leaping out of the fray with cat-like agility, carrying the young woman in his strong arms. It was the mutant, Xi.
"By the way, nice form on that punch, Rachel," Xi grinned at the girl.
Rachel cooed thankfully, giving the shy snakelike mutant a big hug around his neck, "Awwwww! My knight in shining armor!"
"Not to worry, the cavalry's arrived!!!" shouted Wavedancer as she and Toad were riding on the crest of a huge wave, formed by Althea's powers, the wall of powerful water being guided to crash directly on only the Dreadnoks.
"Augh!! Dreadnoks, retreat!! RETREAT!! Retreeeeeeeeee -!!" screamed Zartan as he and his team were swept away towards the ocean and out of sight by Wavedancer's powers.
"Think we should help them?" Toad asked Wavedancer, deadpanned.
Althea smiled evilly, "Nah, they won't be lonely. Apparently, the sharks around this area should keep them company. Heh heh heh heh!"
"I see," chuckled Toad as he watched Zandar and Buzzer scream at the top of their lungs while frantically trying to swim and evade away from a group of brown sharks tailing them.
At the same time, back at India…
Justin then asked a bit fearfully as his eye caught something along the horizon, "Uh…Blind Master? Do the letters 'FOH' stand for 'Friends of Humanity'?"
"Yes, why?"
"Because Ms. March is leading a mob of them over here!" cried out Justin as he, Lance, and the ninja master turned to see the woman carrying a club while guiding a massive crowd of Friends of Humanity supporters. All of them were wearing clothing branding the infamous insignia along with carrying torches, bats, rifles, and grenades.
Ms. March pointed at Blind Master, Avalanche, and Whitelighter, screaming and egging the congregation of hate on, "Get those mutants! One of them is the earth-shaker, so he's the one who caused the tsunami in the first place!! That Misfit was probably the one who wrecked your homes and villages when he caused the earthquake with his powers in the first place!! String him up!! And get rid of anyone who's been healed by the blind's guys freak!! The glowing fat-ass probably infected all of them with his powers!! Kill them all!!"
The crowd roared with glee as they all, as one, removed the pins on their grenades before throwing them directly at the refugee camp where the three soldiers were standing. Blind Master's mind raced furiously. There was no way they could safely remove all of those explosives before they detonated, and it would be too much to evacuate all the people living at the camps, including the frail, the weak, and the injured. Yet Justin gasped at the rainfall of deadly bombs plummeting towards them, and the sudden shock of it triggered his powers of telekinetic orbing. With a flash of white, sparkling lights, the grenades disappeared, teleported away from doing any harm to them.
"All right! Good one, Whitelighter!" crowed Avalanche as he sent a mild tremor to knock over the crowd, sending them toppling against each other and leaving them jumbled in a heap. Ms. March and several others then tried aiming their rifles at the three soldiers, but to their shock, a silver blur passed by them in a split second before the Friends of Humanity supporters found themselves weaponless. Quicksilver smirked as he slowed to a stop, every single club, bat, and gun piled high in his arms. Using his mutation of super-speed, Quicksilver was able to run around the men and women and snatch away their guns before they could fire, saving Blind Master, Lance, and Justin from any danger. And he didn't come alone…
"BANZAI!!!" yelled Beachhead, Spirit, Tunnel Rat, Cross County and Dusty as they set themselves upon the massive crowd. Lance eagerly joined in, his fists ready, and soon, the crowd was squealing in pain from all the beatings and blows the Joe soldiers were inflicting upon them. Yet Justin then realized something.
"Ohmigosh! Gabriel, I don't know where I orbed the grenades!!"
"What?!" gasped the ninja master, "Then we need to find them! If they explode, they may injure innocent -!"
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
"Never mind, I found 'em," Justin replied back meekly as he turned to see a massive building, smoking and under a huge inferno of red flames, blackened mortar, and various rubbles of all shapes and sizes. In his inability to further control his powers, Justin must have accidentally orbed the explosives to the interior of the building.
"Which building got blown up, Whitelighter?" groaned Blind Master, dreading the answer. Justin squinted as he tried to get a better look at the remainder of the establishment's front-view.
"I can't tell. The only word that's left over from the explosion that's readable is 'EMBASSY'," Justin clarified.
"Oh dear," Gabriel sighed with his head in his hands.
At the same time in Indonesia…
"You smeg-headed witch! You just ruined five-thousand dollars worth of plastic surgery!!" screamed Malerie.
"Trust me, it didn't help that much to begin with!!" shouted Cover Girl as the two women started to brawl and wrestle, leading an all-out, hair-pulling, high-pitched shrieking, nail scratching mother of all catfights.
"Got the tape of the commercial," Low Light grinned as he held up the video cassette containing today's filming, "It's amazing how much a simple bribe can do wonders for negotiations. Ms. Surprise should have really paid her camera crew and director better."
"And with no commercial, Malerie is going to get into huge legal trouble from the sponsors who were obligated to sponsor her companies if she did this act of charity," grinned Daria as she was absentmindedly hacking on her personal laptop computer, "And with Cover Girl keeping Malerie busy, Malerie Surprise is not going to notice the generous donation made from her personal bank accounts to the Red Cross and UNICEF. A very, very, very generous donation."
"Maybe Cover Girl should stop shoving Malerie's head into the mud and let the poor woman get some air," commented Tripwire, raising an eyebrow, as he was watching the two women wrestle and fight.
Wanda then noticed that Cover Girl and Malerie Surprise were fighting in the pens containing the farmers' yaks. And what was on the brown, soggy, trodden floor certainly didn't smell like dirt; in fact, it smelled just like…
"Ummm…Tripwire?" Wanda winced, "That's not mud Malerie's face is in right now."
The Joe grimaced at the thought. He said, "Ouch, talk about adding insult to the injury."
"On the upside, even though Cover Girl wasn't able to shove Malerie's face into a yak's butt, this will do for a suitable consolation," grinned Brittney as she was videotaping the fight on her mini-camcorder, "Think this special edition of 'manure makeup' will be worth some money?"
"Depends on whether or not Malerie is even conscious enough to agree to our blackmail," Quinn commented passively as Cover Girl now had the shrieking model in a headlock and began wailing on Malerie's face.
---
"You did WHAT??!!!" yelled General Hawk, aghast and in pure outraged shock as he looked at the large invoice, providing a list and cost of the damages made during the scuffle between the Misfits and the Friends of Humanity. General Hawk was annoyingly summoned from the Pit to the United Nations Headquarters itself to be debriefed about certain "incidents" during the efforts made to help the victims of the tsunami with the Misfits and the Joes in the room. General Hawk, naturally, expected some things to go wrong while the Misfits and G.I. Joe went to help what they could. What General Hawk didn't expect was to be confronted by a red-faced Colin Powell brandishing a huge stack of paper which later turned out to be a bill of charges made directly to the U.S. government via a mass lawsuit on behalf of various Asian governments.
"On the upside, General, the lawsuit's not even half as expensive as the lawsuit from the European public when Trinity took the molecular generator to the various historical landmarks from several years ago," Althea offered, give a weak laugh. Hawk, unfortunately, failed to see the humor.
"We owe HOW MUCH??!!!"
"Um…Fred? Does Hawk always have that little thing in his eye when it bulges out all bloodshot like that?" Lina whispered.
Blob whispered discreetly back, "I think Lifeline said something about Hawk's been undergoing some unhealthy stress…though I dunno from what, exactly."
Hawk's eye was twitching as he read out the individual charges aloud, one by one, his face getting redder and redder with each time the grant total reached the next million.
"A bill for the body work of a damaged personal limousine belonging to a Ms. Malerie Surprise?!"
"Please, it's not even half of what she's suing us for," sniffed Cover Girl disdainfully, "I mean, it's obviously shoddy body work to begin with if an expensive limousine can't even withstand one bazooka blast. And besides, she's exaggerating. It's not even her limousine; it's a rental from the local travel agency."
"Estimations for the amount of destroyed skyhawk helicopters and supplier convoys?!!"
"Blame the Dreadnoks for that mess, General. They were the ones causing the chaos over at Thailand…though I'll admit someone should have been more careful with that missile-launcher," Lady Jaye explained while shooting a steely glare at Flint who was next to her. Flint just frowned at his wife right back.
"Oh yeah, and like you didn't wreck that building when you accidentally threw your fire-spear at that truck's gas tank by accident…"
"You demolished a Hindu temple??!!" General Hawk yelled in disbelief, feeling that God was definitely going to send him to hell if he wasn't already on the way.
"Actually, Leatherneck and Wet Suit did that one," explained Fred, "They were trying to stop the looters from escaping with the stolen goods, and…well…they kinda misfired."
"Explosions to the British Embassy building in India??!!!"
"Um…technically, it was because of the Friends of Humanity…OK, shutting up now," Justin cut short weakly when General Hawk glared at him when he spoke out loud.
"Apparently, the Indian government was being somewhat lenient on the charges when they found out that your Misfits and Joes stopped Ms. March…especially when Interpol somehow got an anonymous and mysterious e-mail containing records proving that March was involved in planning to sell some of the orphans to the child slave-trade!" Colin Powell growled.
"Yeah, imagine that," the Joe Mainframe whistled innocently.
Colin Powell groaned, "General Hawk, I know your Misfits and Joes mean well and that they wished to stand united with the world during this time of tragedy, but this was not what I imagined when you said that they would help with the relief efforts!! Ye Gods, man! All of these adults and kids are absolute disasters! At least the tsunami was a natural one!"
General Hawk then groaned, rubbing his fingers against his temples, "Trust me sir…'natural' is NOT a term associated with the Misfits and the Joes."
The End
Author's note: This is written in memory of all the victims of the tsunami disaster. I hope you all thoroughly enjoyed this fanfic, but please remember that help will be needed for years to come. If you don't plan to help out this year, help will certainly be needed next year and the years after that. Look on Google for more information on the Red Cross, Doctors Without Borders, UNICEF, and the United Nations Tsunami Relief Fund.
Hope you enjoy this fanfic because the next one won't be until two weeks. Until then, I hope this one-shot had opened some eyes and brought some understanding about the situation.