From the diary of Ginny Weasley:

8:00 AM

Evil wanker.

He can't honestly be that oblivious of his own actions, can he?

Well, sure, fine. We're not exactly "going out." And yes, he's Draco Malfoy, the spawn of Satan, with no emotions whatsoever.

But when he insults a Weasley, he'd best expect to be yelled at by his girlfriend, dammit!!!

Oh, right, we're not going out.

Still, though. We snog. We talk. We keep insults between us at a bare minimum. And really, for a Malfoy, controlling your insulting nature is like a normal person's declaration of love. I think it's safe to say that we are some sort of a couple, even if it's a dysfunctional one. And if that is the case, ONE SHOULD NOT GO AROUND INSULTING ONE'S SNOGGING MATE'S KISSING ABILITIES TO ONE'S FELLOW SLYTHERIN GIT-MATES!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, Draco, that means you. You are the "one" that I speak so generously about.

Damn you, evil wanker.

Because yes, I heard what you said to that prat Zabini.

Draco: The Weasel probably doesn't even know how to snog properly. You know what they say about redheads. Their bright hair just serves as a warning to keep anyone from getting too close. They probably can't even afford to snog properly.

Zabini: snickers stupidly Yeah, well that little Weasley girl. I could shag her.

Draco: more stupid snickers Well, sure, if you could look past the fact that she's practically a Mudblood herself and a Weasley to boot. Besides, she probably wouldn't even know what to do with herself if anyone showed any interest in her. She'd probably faint with shock.

Zabini and Draco together: snickersnicker

After that, I hightailed it out of there faster than Harry's broomstick in a Gryffindor/ Slytherin Quidditch match.

There are so many things wrong with that conversation. Not the least being the fact that Zabini just said he wanted to . . . make love to me, only in cruder terms.

Ew. Just ew.

And second of all, what do you mean I would "faint with shock," Draco Malfoy? I certainly did NOT faint with shock when you snogged me in front of the entire Hogwarts population, including my dolt of a brother, the other Slytherins, and the professors. I did NOT faint when you grabbed me, like some sort of rogue spirit, and kissed me passionately in front of all those people, as if you didn't care who saw us as long as you showed me you cared . . .

8:17 AM

Ahem.

I'm so sorry.

I—I think I need to go read.

Hmm . . . The History of Horklumps: Horribly Misunderstood? Or Just Horrible? . . . sounds interesting . . .