Title: If Only Once More

Arthur: Secret Agent Girl (SAG)

Rating: Hard PG-13 (mainly because I don't feel it's R but a touch more than PG-13)

'Ship: S/V

Spoilers: Everything is up to Countdown is fair game.

A/N: Wow… June 30th… That was the last time I wrote one of these chapters. Seems like forever and a day ago. Sorry about the wait, but… life got in the way. I'm trying to get some writing done, but it's a b—ch.

Ch. 12

He stared watching her for a moment as he questioned whether or not she would respond to his touch, wondered whether or not she even could hear him. Glancing at the door quickly, he gave her hand a small squeeze. "I'll be right back, Syd. I promise."  He whispered softly before rushing out the door.

Flying out of the room, he swung through the door and skidded around the corner, in search of Jack. Spotting the man just down the hallway, talking to the doctor, Vaughn began to run down the hall, ignoring the looks of the people around him and the shouts from the nurse at the station just parallel from Sydney's room.

"Jack! Jack!"

The older man spun at the sound of his name being shouted from the other end of the hallway and his eyes grew slightly wider at the sight of the younger agent, at a full sprint making his way towards him.

"Vaughn, what is going on?"

Struggling to catch his breath, Vaughn hunched over, bracing himself against his knees as he fought to secure air in his lungs. "She's…she's…awake." He gasped out as Jack moved closer to him.

Jack's eyes grew as he registered Vaughn's words and he automatically took off in the direction of his daughter's room, the doctor right behind him as Vaughn was left standing in the middle of the hallway, still struggling to breathe.

Opening the door, he was assaulted by memories. Memories that he couldn't block out of his head. Memories that he wanted nothing more than to expel from all aspects of his mind and throw into the Pacific Ocean. Memories of all the injuries she sustained, of all the times he wished he could have been there to simply take away the pain, times when he couldn't because of a simple eight lettered word. And now that he could be there for her, now when he could be there to take it all away for her, she was shutting out the world.

Vaughn stood in the door way as he watched, helplessly, as Jack and the doctor were pleading with Sydney. Pleading for what, he didn't know, their voices had no sound, all he could see was her, sitting stark still, in her sterile white hospital bed, staring out of the window, staring into a deep chasm of emptiness.

"Hey." He walked through the front door, closing it softly behind him as he shrugged off his jacket, laying it softly on the end of the counter. Walking towards her, he was tempted to call out again only, having not received a response the first time, but quickly decided against that when he saw her face.

Leaning on the back of the sofa, her knees brought up to her chest, she sat on the floor, staring into the fire as the bright red-orange flames danced across the logs, snapping and hissing.

Slowly, he approached her. When he reached the back of the sofa, he stood for a moment and watched her. Her eyes never straying from their spot in the middle of the fire, the heat that usually radiated from her whenever she was in his presence seemed to have been cooled, something was off.

Stepping around he went to her side, taking a seat next to her, he kept his body turned towards her instead of the fire and watched as she kept her gaze forward, never having acknowledged his appearance, her focus never straying from the flames.

"Sydney?" He whispered softly, only be met with the same non-response as before. Taking a chance, he carefully placed his hand on her shoulder. Expecting her to do something, turn towards him, flinch, tense, anything, but certainly not this.

Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she sat there, unmoving, her position never wavering. "Sydney? Sydney what is it?" Vaughn began to softly plead as he moved closer to her. Softly, he brushed away the tears with the pads of this thumbs as he whispered, "Syd, what's wrong? Sydney… Sydney please. Sydney, you're scaring me."

She sat there, unmoving as he shifted so that he sat in front of her. Taking her face in his hands, he forced her to meet his eyes. She stared blankly at him, tears cascading down her face as she looked at him, and he prayed for something to happen.

Moments passed slowly. Timed seemed to have no value as the sat there, her face in his hands, tears silently falling down her face as she looked into his eyes, and then suddenly, she broke. Deep, body shaking sobs racked her body and she began to crumble. Pulling her towards him, he held her close, allowing everything to expel from her body as she cried.

By the time her sobs had subsided, the fire had almost ceased to exist. The room was cold and her body shook with shivers as she struggled to keep it together. Not wanting to push her too far, Vaughn kept silent, knowing that if she wanted to talk to him, she would.

"This is never going to end." She whispered softly into his chest, bringing them out of their silence.

He wanted more than anything to be able to tell her that, that wasn't the case. That one day, Sloane would be taken away, that everything she had worked so hard for, for so long, would finally be over, but he couldn't. Because he didn't know. Instead, he tightened his arms around her, and held her tightly until the fire died away, and she fell asleep in his arms.

"She's not going to answer you." Jack turned to look at the voice coming from the doorway, shocked by the sudden accusation.

"What do you mean, she's not going to answer me?"

"She's gone Jack." Vaughn took several steps forward, coming to stand next to the bed, not meeting Jack's gaze, instead keeping his eyes set on Sydney. "It finally got to her. All the uncertainty, all the near misses, all the compartmentalizing, it finally got to her."

He took Sydney's hand in his own and turned his gaze to Jack's, meeting the older man's gaze dead on. "And I don't know if we can ever get her back."