TERMINUS GENESIS
By Nenya Entwhistle

Part 2
Secondary

Severus liked watching Harry. Even though this Harry said he didn't feel like Harry Potter. He kept saying the name Harry Potter didn't feel like him, but this the boy who said this was pretty much the same Harry he had been before. The only difference was this Harry didn't have the dark cloud over him, and this Harry didn't hate him like he had before. Though Severus would admit, it was a good deal his fault.

Severus liked to believe that Harry was exactly the same, that this was the way Harry would have been if nothing bad had ever happened to him. It was nice to think that, and sometimes Severus really did believe that. But it was hard to say for certain if Harry would ever have been like this if nothing bad had happened to him. Because bad things had happened and he had fallen in love with Harry despite or was it because of that?

Severus didn't know. He did know there were differences in spite of the similarities.

-

The way Harry smiled was the same. It was his first year smile, sweet and innocent. Severus adored that smile, and he tried everything to get Harry to smile. But what he liked most was how bright Harry's eyes were. Harry had such beautiful eyes, and Severus never would have allowed Harry to do what he'd done if he'd know it'd dull those green lights.

"You're staring at me again," Harry remarked.

Severus blinked and smiled apologetically. "I don't mean to."

"It's okay. I'm just telling you."

His eyes shifted around the room, not meeting Harry's eyes. "Does it bother you?"

"No," Harry answered. "I just wonder when you'll tell me that we were more than friends."

He knew! He knew! He knew! His mind shouted like a mental mantra. Severus had thought that he hadn't been overtly obvious, but then again he'd never known how to hide his feelings from Harry. Even when he'd almost hated the brat, his feelings had been well known. The only time he had to hide then was when it'd been absolutely necessary, like with Voldemort. Now there was no need, and he supposed the love was showing through too easily. And why should he hide it, besides?

"How do you know?" Severus croaked. He might admit that he didn't have to hide it, but it still surprised him that Harry had picked it up. The Harry he knew had been prone to being oblivious. It was a difference in this Harry and the Harry he'd known. This Harry was a lot more insightful, far more thoughtful. It scared him to think that maybe with these changes this Harry wouldn't love him. After all, there was no impetus to drive Harry to him like Voldemort had. Harry didn't need him.

"It's the way you look at me, mostly," Harry whispered.

"How do I look at you?"

"You look at me like there's nothing you'd rather look at, but me," he responded. "There something about how your entire being lightens up when you realize I'm with you. And then there's everything you do for me. You take care of me, such good care that I want for nothing." He smiled that smile Severus loved. "I'm going to be spoiled rotten."

"Never!"

Harry's smile only widened. "Don't you see? It's so obvious."

Severus supposed it was.

-

His fingers itched to hold Harry. But he didn't know if this Harry would like him to hold him or not. He didn't want to wrap his arms around the young man only to have him run from him. It had taken a while for Harry not pull away when he approached. He supposed it was only logical for Harry to shy away from him; after all, even though he knew he knew Harry, Harry didn't know that. To Harry, Severus was an unknown as much as Harry was to himself.

Severus told himself that he would be patient that he would wait for Harry to come to him. It was hard though, Severus didn't think he was a particularly patient man when he didn't have to be. It was probably the reason why he'd never make a good teacher, even if he was a brilliant Potions Master. Simply being able to brew the potions, didn't mean he could teach it.

It was hard waiting though, especially when he knew Harry knew he loved him.

-

"You shouldn't scowl so much."

Severus frowned, trying to think if he had been scowling or not. Most likely, he had been. It was a common facial expression for him. He did it when he was concentrating, as it took effort and a blank face didn't seem right for such an intense moment. He imagined he scowled a lot when he was brewing potions, like he was now. The scowl was probably fiercer than normal as he was trying to control himself from snapping at Harry. Why, oh Merlin, why had he agreed to re-teach him potions?

"You'll get wrinkles."

He snorted, like he cared about physical beauty. Although, he did care what Harry thought about him. He didn't want to be unattractive to Harry. He knew, already, that he wasn't an attractive person. If having less wrinkles made him more attractive, he could try not to scowl so much. He even attempted to smile, even though smiling made his face feel wrong. Severus didn't feel like he was the type that should smile.

"You look good when you smile."

Severus felt a blush creeping from his body to his face. He hoped that his normally sallow skin tone would keep and that the body blush would go no further. He wasn't sure he succeeded or not, since his face felt awfully hot. He bit the insides of his mouth and gestured sharply at Harry to continuing stirring. He also gave him a glare that said the young man ought to be paying more attention to the potion he was brewing than his smile.

Harry only smiled in response and said, "I like it when you smiled."

Severus couldn't stop his blush this time.

-

Teaching Harry magic again was a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, it had to be done. Harry was a danger to himself and to others until he learned to control the amount of raw magic he held within him. It would have been harder if Harry had been his impetuous Gryffindor self, but he was acting much more cautious now. He was far more careful than the Harry that Severus had been used to, the Harry that Severus had fallen in love with.

But regardless of the little differences, because Severus convinced himself that the differences were minor, Severus still loved Harry. If anything, Severus loved Harry even more because this Harry didn't scoff at potions, actually tried even though he was never going to be that good it. Severus had always thought that he could never love someone that couldn't brew a complicated potion, and he was proven right thanks to Harry's newly found potion skills. It was unfortunate that Harry couldn't relearn magic by osmosis, so Severus could concentrate on the more important things like helping the brat master the art of Potion-making.

Oh well, Harry would have to learn the hard way.

-

"Wingardium leviosa!" Harry exclaimed.

Severus felt himself lifted gently by the impishly smiling young man. Everyday, there were differences he noted and then again, there were more similarities he saw. This Harry like his Harry had a propensity for mischief. Severus didn't really understand why. It must be a trait of Gryffindor House because there were certainly no Weasley twins to teach Harry the art of troublemaking. No, Harry did quite well without them. Thank Merlin there was no one to encourage him.

"Put me down this instance!" he roared, though he wasn't really upset. It was nice to know that Harry was a lot like the Harry that he knew. And it did kind of concern him how serious this Harry was at times, as if Harry had finally grown up from the child he'd known and gotten to know again because of Voldemort. Of course, the broken child Harry had been wasn't quite the same as the 11 year old Harry--- but closer than this mature Harry was to either of them.

"Not until you tell me what you're thinking about!"

Severus scowled. "You." He was always thinking about Harry, especially when he told himself not to. "Who else?"

Harry smiled and shrugged, lowering his wand which effectively lowered Severus' hovering body. "I don't know," Harry remarked. "I don't really know what you think about. If I did, I'd be a mind-reader. And then I wouldn't have to ask. Would I?"

This Harry was far more logical than the Harry he'd loved. Severus didn't know if that made him love Harry more or less. It was a rather significant change, much more so than anything else about Harry. There were small things, but the logic was definitely the biggest. Severus might believe Harry would be more logical if he hung around only Hermione, for the Granger woman was almost too fact-logic based for even his taste. But Harry had no interaction with him. He just was… very logical by himself.

"If you could read my mind," Severus remarked wryly, "you would think that this old man thinks far too much about you and your tight ass."

Harry blushed and Severus smirked. It was fun, teasing this Harry, since this Harry knew and pretty much accepted Severus' love for him. And that made things easier, to some degree, but it was still hard not knowing if Harry loved him or not. Severus knew the other Harry had, the other Harry had clung to him like he was a lifeline. The other Harry had needed Severus. This Harry needed him now, but for how long? And when this Harry didn't need him, would he go away and leave him all alone?

"Anyways," Severus said and clearing his throat, "I think you've mastered this spell."

Harry nodded. "What spell are we going to learn next?"

"The Summoning Charm," Severus responded.

Harry grinned, and Severus really felt a tingle of dread going down his spine. It was the same sort of dread that the Weasley twins inspired or perhaps, the Marauders. In Harry's mischievousness, Severus could see the James Potter in him. He almost wanted to hate that, but he could never hate Harry for all that Harry had done for him… for all of them. Besides, he loved the pesky brat.

"So…" Harry drawled, "does that mean I get to summon myself a Snape by saying the latin word for summon… summonus?"

"No, Potter," Severus snapped, feeling good to have some bite behind his words since this new Harry could take his sarcasm the way the broken Harry couldn't, "it's accio, you nitwit."

Harry's grin only widened. "Too bad I'm a nitwit you love, so what does that make you?"

A bigger nitwit was Severus' unspoken thought.

-

It took months to re-teach Harry all the magic he'd forgotten. But, luckily, Harry was quick study. If only, Severus thought, Harry had been this eager to learn the first time around then maybe things could have turned out for the better. If only Harry had been as efficient at occlumency then as he was now… but it was no good to dwell on the past. The past was painful, especially when he thought about how that Harry had loved and depended on him.

This Harry flirted with him. A gesture here, a word there, and maybe a slight touch when he least expected him, but Severus didn't know what to make of all this. He wasn't used to having Harry pursue him. He wasn't used to having to pursue Harry either. They had come together the first time out of a need, out of necessity and in spite all the horrors surrounding them, they'd fallen in love.

Did this Harry really want him or was this a fancy of his overactive imagination?

-

Author's Note: Wow, the inspiration is running low and I thought this was some crappy writing. I'll try to make it up to you in the next chapter which will be the last addition. I thought I'd have more to say, but I've think I've said all I need to say about what Severus thinks and has to say. Anyway, I still think the scenes were cute--- even though I could have done things a bit more elegantly. Ah well... I got the message across right? And it wasn't too bad? (I'll probably rewrite this when I can think straight...) So what do you think?