It was midnight. Where was he? Late again. How much longer would this go on? I give up....I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Can't he see what this is doing to me?

Jay walked into the hotel bathroom and sat on the counter, studying his features in the mirror. He knew he shouldn't have trusted himself. He'd been in this very same position before, and it's all coming back to him very quickly.

"When am I going to learn that I'm just fucking worthless?" Jay said outloud to himself. "I promised myself that this would never happen again. Not after Adam. But here I am again, and I think it's worse this time. Yeah, I do give up. I don't care if it's just the wimp's way out. I can't take this anymore."

Jay picked up the new, full bottle of asprin, and looks up in the mirror one last time to see a person he had seen once before. His tear-streaked face deepend the depression he could see in his eyes. He looked down again, opened the bottle, and poured out its contents on the counter, standing up himself. He removes the plastic from the hotel's bathroom cup, and begins to fill it with water....

Ring. Ring. That could be the most annoying sound in the world when you're waiting to talk to someone. Especially in a serious situation. Ah, he finally answered.

"Adam?" Chris said shakily. "Jays done it again. You need to get here fast. I already called the ambulence. I think it's worse than before ." Chris closes his cellphone, not bothering to wait for a responce, still stroking his lover's face. "Damnit. Why doesn't he understand that I love him?" Tears began to run down his face.

It's been a week. A week since they've had me in this bed. So they tell me. I've been sleeping the whole time... They tell me that I'm a danger to myself. No, I'm not, I just know what's best for me. Chris doesn't know that I'm awake yet. I'm waiting for the nurse to come back here with him. They tell me Chris has been here all along, with me. Apparantly, he's been away from wrestling a whole week. Why would he do that? He doesn't love me anyway. I don't understand this. Here he comes.

"Jay. You're awake. How do you feel?"

"How the fuck do you think I feel, Chris?

Chris nodded, understanding. "Why'd you do it, Jay? I don't understand."

"You know why. You were gone untill after midnight. Not one fucking phone call, nothing."

Chris looked down, he was shaking himself. "Jay. You know I had that Fozzy concert, I told you to go with me."

Jay sat up some and blinked. "...You did? I thought you were talking to Adam... I was sure you were... I was so sure that you were discusted by me..."

"Jason Reso. What in the world would make you think that?"

"You mean...you're not? You had been late so much latley that I was worried that you didn't even care anymore."

"No, Jay, I'm not. I love you. Fuck, I've only left your side this past week probably three times. And I care...of course I care." Chris stopped, sighing. "I guess I just got caught up working with Fozzy so much that I forgot what's really the most important thing in my life. Jay, I don't want to lose you. Ever."

Chris looked up at Jay for the first time since he began talking, staring him in the eye. "Do you beleive me, Jay?" Jay looked up at Chris with tears in his eyes. "I want to. I really want to.. I think I do." Chris leaned down and kissed Jay's fallen tears on his cheeks.

This was going to be one hell of a ride, and Chris is more than willing to wait it out.