Over, a teen titans fanfic

Teen Titans: Only

Disclaimer: The Teen Titans are not mine nor are the lyrics to the song "Over" by Lindsay Lohan.

I watched the walls around me crumble

But it's not like I won't build them up again

I watched as she went out of her way to save you yet again. It seems like you two will do anything for each other nowadays, like you are bonding even more as we speak. You two share these looks and I want to yell, scream, hit something, anything.... but I do not. I want to hate her, to hate you... but I cannot. It seems as if your once obvious feelings for me are changing and I know I should be worried and maybe even angry towards her for stealing the attention you used to give me. But I cannot be that way.

You are both my friends; I cannot be angry if your feelings are changing. I especially cannot be angry with her. I once asked her what she thought of you long ago. I was noticing how she changed when she was around you and, in a fit of jealousy, I went and asked her about her feelings towards you. I know she lied to me when she replied 'no' so I cannot blame her if she is reacting to your admonitions.

So here's your last chance for redemption

So take it while it lasts, cause it will end

My tears are turning into time I've wasted

Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I only wish you would have told me you were angry with me. Well, I guess I cannot call it anger; I do not know exactly what it is, what it was to make you not care for me in that way any longer. Lately I have been crying myself to sleep, thinking I have done something wrong and that is why you never talk to me anymore.

Well, you do talk with me, but not to me, not the way you used to, before her. I can see how strained you are when we are conversing and it hurts me inside more than you could ever know. I have decided, though, that I need to stop wasting my tears over you. If your affections have turned towards another, I can only hope you will happy together. I just hate not knowing why you have chosen to leave me alone.

I can't live without you

Can't breathe without you

I'm dreamin' bout you

Honestly, tell me that it's over

As if the world is spinning and I'm still living

It won't be right if we're not in it together

Tell me that it's over

And I'll be the first to go

Don't want to be the last to know

I was so happy the first time I thought you were returning my emotions. Sitting high up in the air like that, eating the fluffy pink candy and watching the exploding colors. I knew at that moment that I wanted to be with you forever and I thought you felt the same way. I thought I could not live without you, that I could not go on when all of my thoughts and dreams were consumed by you. But here I am, living without you, watching you fall for another, another that is my best friend. I think that it would not hurt as much if you had just come to me to tell me that you no longer felt strongly for me. It hurts more this way. I do not like to hurt.

Every time I pass our friends they give me looks of pity; they know how you feel and to whom you feel it. Even she knows. She is incredibly smart and intuitive and she even she knows how I feel. She talked to me the other night when she had awoken after the attack. She was surprised when I told her how ruthless you were acting, how hard you had searched for her. That was when she apologized to me; she said she was sorry she lied to me. She said she cared for you all along. I only smiled and forgave her. I knew she was lying to me. I just wish you would not.

I won't be the one to chase you

But at the same time

You're the heart that I call home

I'm always stuck with these emotions

And the more I try to feel, the less I'm whole

My tears are turning into time I've wasted

Trying to find a reason for goodbye

After we returned from Tamaran I wanted to run to you and apologize for everything I was about to do, but I did not. I did not say I was sorry because.... I was not. Part of me was happy to be back home and to rule my planet. It was then that I realized that I loved you, but I was not in love with you. I know that is rather 'cliche' as you would put it, but it makes perfect sense to me and I could not put my feelings into better words. I guess I cannot be angry with you because it was technically me who ended whatever it was we had.

But when you started to talk more with her, to act more protective of her, I could not help it and I became jealous and heartbroken. I wanted to end things on my terms and it has not happened that way. I will not go to you to find out why your feelings have changed, but at the same time it hurts to even look at you. I still harbor feelings of fondness for you, and I always will, but I will step aside if you decide you would rather not pursue our relationship.

I can't live without you

Can't breathe without you

I'm dreamin' bout you

Honestly, tell me that it's over

As if the world is spinning and I'm still living

It won't be right if were not in it together

Tell me that it's over

And I'll be the first to go, and I'll be the first to go

Don't want to be the last to know (over, over, over)

My tears are turning into time I've wasted

Trying to find a reason for goodbye

At first I pushed away the thoughts of a non-us to the side, I thought I was being ridiculous for even thinking that way. And then it happened; you let her in somewhere I had been trying to get into since I first realized my feelings for you. You let her into your mind. A place everyone wanted to venture and only a few had been selected. A place where even I had not been. And, instead of pushing you two apart like I thought it would, it brought you two closer. You formed a bond and I felt truly alone.

After that I witnessed a many sunrises and sunsets atop the roof where you two would just sit there and stare. Most of the time you would not even talk and I thought it was her way of saying she was not interested. But I was wrong again. You seemed to grow even closer by just sitting there and ......being...... It was something I did not understand and still do not. I have always thought one needs communication to become close.

And so it was during the missions that I saw what your mornings together had led to. The missing communication from those moments was relayed onto the battlefield. I saw during the fights that you felt a need to protect her to all ends with a determination that I had only seen before when it was intended for me.

I can't live without you

Can't breathe without you

I'm dreamin' bout you

Honestly, tell me that it's over

As if the world is spinning and I'm still living

It won't be right if were not in it together

(Tell me that it's over)

I noticed after the incidents with the large dragon and wolfmen that you were giving her the same treatment you used to give me (although your passion seemed stronger somehow with her) when I was in peril and I did not understand what I had done. It became obvious that you two worked well together because you can read each other where I could not. All it takes is a simple nod or glance and you know just what to do. Whereas I apparently was oblivious to even your most obvious discontent......especially with me.

And with that knowledge, I have decided to step back and be happy for my two most dear friends and I will continually support your relationship, should you choose that road. As long as she does not feel the pain that I do, then I shall continue to be your friend and I will not intrude on your feelings. Even though I will always live my life wondering what could have been should certain events have never happened, I know that whatever happens, it what was meant to be.

I can't live without you

Can't breathe without you

I'm dreamin' bout you

(Tell me that it's over, over)

Honestly, tell me

Don't tell me that it's over

I only wish that you had trusted me enough to tell me how you were no longer feeling. I wish that it was not over, but if your new intentions are to make someone happy who has never known the joy of love, then I have no choice but to let go. I only ask, that you come to me before you vocalize your feelings for her. I think I deserve that much at least. I do not want us to be over, but if it is for her happiness, truly for her happiness, then I will be glad to give her what was once mine.

A/N: Whatcha think? Read and Review!