Chapter 4
Disclaimer is in Chapter 1
She held his head with her hand as he looked up at her with an odd smile on his face. He lifted his hand but it trembled in the air with pain. He traced a line from her temple to her chin with his fingers, staining her pale face with deep red.
"How did you think this was going to end?" He asked her.
"Not like this." She replied.
"There's no other way." He closed his eyes and he still had that odd grin. A content smile.
Ryoga found himself staring at the Tendo Dojo. How did he end up here when he meant to find Jusenkyo? It had been nearly three months since he last stumbled upon the dojo, his heart still beat with sadness as he listened to the argument between Akane and Ranma. Does he dare enter now? Will Akane receive him kindly? What will he say to Ranma? He contemplated the idea for another minute but a voice distracted him.
"Oh Ryoga!" She sounded excited to see him but his heart did not lift like it used to. This strain brought from the marriage took it's toll on him every day and all he seemed to think about how nothing could ever be the same. "I haven't seen you around! Where have you been?" She shifted a bag of groceries in her arms and Ryoga held out his arms to help her.
"You know, around. How's it going Akane?" He asked relieving the bag from her and following her inside.
"Fine, a bit crazy lately." She opened the door for him and led him to the kitchen. "You know, Kasumi married Tofu and they moved out. Father was so upset but he got over it quickly once I told him that, well," She stopped unpacking the grocery bag to blush. "I'm pregnant." She had a wide grin on her face and Ryoga's heart dropped deeper into his chest. He knew he should feel glad for her because she is his friend but how can he congratulate her knowing that others suffer from this news.
"Wow." Was all he could manage as he tried to distract himself by playing with left over crumbs from breakfast on the table.
"Yeah, I mean everything's changed." She finished placing the last item in the refrigerator and sat at the table with him. She popped out of her chair in realization. "Oh, do you want some tea?" She offered him but he shook his head 'no.' Akane still took out a kettle and filled it with tap water.
"Is that all?" He asked, Akane suddenly dropped the kettle onto the burner making a loud "thunk" noise.
"No." She sighed and took a seat at the table. "Ukyo." She paused and Ryoga raised an eyebrow.
"Ukyo, what?"
"She's gone." Akane's voice was filled with fear, fear of Ryoga's reaction to the news.
"What do you mean?" Ryoga asked.
"I mean she's gone. You know, moved on to a better place." Akane stood up and went over to the kettle even though the water still sat placidly. Ryoga stared at her back and thought about Ukyo. "I'm really sorry." She couldn't face him. "Genma told me that you two became close while...during...you know. After you left, she seemed upset, Ranma and I thought it was nothing until she left." Akane opened a drawer and pulled out a white envelope. "Ranma never saw this, I didn't want him to try to read it, it's yours. You should read it, it's the only thing she left behind." Akane placed the envelope on the table and Ryoga stared at it. He didn't even know if he had the strength to read it. He had saved Ukyo from killing herself and when she needed a friend, he left her to suffer more until there was no one to save her. He rubbed his eyes and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
"Would you stay for dinner? I'm sure Ranma would love to catch up on old times." Akane's voice had a fake kindness to it that Ryoga never heard before, he hated that she could be so kind to him when it was his fault that Ukyo is dead. He hated that she could love the same man that Ukyo loved. He hated that she mentioned his name, his rival, her lover, his enemy.
"Oh, no Akane. I should get going." Ryoga stood up and with a quick movement he picked up the letter and crammed it in his pocket, not letting it linger in his fingers.
"Well, are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"Ok." She gave a disappointed sigh but Ryoga knew that she was really relieved. Dinner wouldn't be spoiled by a fight tonight and their humble house would be free of Ryoga's presence. Akane saw him out. "We have missed you, you should visit more." Akane gave him a warm smile but Ryoga felt nothing for the woman.
"Good luck with your family." He bowed and began walking away. He found a park bench to sit on and clear out his mind. He felt like he had nothing anymore, everything had been stripped off him. He didn't even see a point any more. He realized that he had never truly hated Ukyo. He never truly loved Akane. He wish he could have Ukyo once more, tell her that he cared a lot about her, maybe he loved at some point. He sighed, he knew his feelings changed once he saw that pale, sick face on the stretcher. He loved her then and he still loved her fully. He felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt and regret gnawing at the emptiness in his heart. He pulled the envelope out of his pocket and stared at the wrinkle of the paper. He pulled the flap open and eased out the letter. He opened it slowly and sighed, slowly he began to read.
"Hello!" A woman called from outside. Akane smiled and opened the cupboard.
"I'm in the kitchen, come in and have a cup of tea!" Akane yelled while pulling out another tea cup. She slowly poured a cup of tea and set it down directly across from her.
"Hey there! I just got in!" Akane took a seat and watched the other woman take her seat. "You look great!"
"Thanks Ukyo." Akane smiled and sighed. "Oh, Ryoga came by an hour or so ago"
"Ryoga? Wow, I haven't seen him in a while." Akane watched the expression change on Ukyo.
"I told him you were gone, he seemed upset. Did you two have a thing?" Akane asked and Ukyo bit her lip.
"Did he really sound upset?" Ukyo's eyes sparkled in hope.
"Yes, really upset." Akane sipped her cup and smiled at Ukyo's grin.
"I can't deny that I do miss him. I think it's because when he left, it didn't go quite to plan."
"I think it's because you like him," Akane grinned, "maybe even love him." Ukyo blushed.
"Don't say things like that. I haven't seen him in months, who knows what feelings I have." Akane considered her words.
"Well, you should at least talk to him." Akane stood up and cleared away the cups and tea kettle.
"I don't know if he would want to talk to me, I really hurt his feelings."
"He seemed really upset Ukyo, like he really wanted to see you."
"Really?" Akane rolled her eyes.
"Duh, I would never lie to you. I mean we did help you move back to Kyoto and I held on to your letter. I gave it to him." Ukyo's cheeks burned.
"I don't know if I can face him now."
"Of course, it's the same Ryoga before."
"I put personal things in it, it will be awkward." Ukyo picked up a towel and began rubbing the table.
"So what? He likes you, maybe loves you. I think it's worth it."
"You're right." Ukyo smiled and set down the towel. "I think I'll go find him."
"Yes, I think he should still be around."
"Thanks Akane."
"No problem Ukyo." They hugged and Akane watched Ukyo leave her home.
Dear Ryoga,
I wish I could have told you this in person but I did not do this because of you. I care for you. That's why I didn't know how to put my answer earlier. I thought it over and the reason why I couldn't tell you is because I didn't know why myself. I know I was ashamed of what I did and I hated the idea of you seeing me weak. At the time, the best solution was to push you away and I realize I shouldn't have. I'm sorry that I'm so weak and I hope we'll see each other again someday. -Ukyo
Ukyo had checked into her hotel and thought about the recent events. She planned on visiting Akane and Ranma ever since she heard news of their pregnancy. She also wanted to congratulate Kasumi on her wedding and give her a present. She thought it was funny how fate had brought Ukyo and Ryoga together in Nerima and Ukyo had the sure feeling that she was meant to be with him, after all, he showed up to the Tendo Dojo hours before she did. He had the letter and now she would find him and hope that he would accept her into his heart and they would at least be friends again. Ukyo blushed at the idea of love, she put on her low cut, chef outfit and headed out to find Ryoga. She wandered near the dojo but she found no trace of him. She did not find him and decided to head over to her old restaurant. She had a vague smile on her face as she followed the familiar path of what she used to call home. She stopped walking and saw a man standing on top of the building.
"From death alone I seek my last relief." He said before diving off the building. Ukyo watched as he hit the pavement, his limbs twisted in an unnatural way. Ukyo broke into a dash as she rushed to the man's side. Once she was a few feet away, she recognized the yellow cloth and her heart dropped into her chest. She fell to her knees and took his bruised hand into hers.
"U-ukyo." He stuttered and Ukyo nodded, trying to swallow a huge lump in her throat. "I thought you were dead." Ukyo shook her head.
"No, I'm right here." Her voice was soft and filled with a sadness that she couldn't even bear to listen to.
"I'm sorry." She hushed him with a finger.
"It's ok, you're going to be ok." She assured him with a teary smile, he smiled back but his teeth were covered in crimson blood.
"I'm glad to see you again." He whispered slowly to her.
"Me too." Ukyo brushed his hair back and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry, you misunderstood my letter, I moved to Kyoto." She wrapped her arms around him and held him close to her body.
"Honest mistake." Ukyo began weeping despite her wanting not to.
"I don't want you to die."
"It's ok." Ryoga reached up and stroked her cheek with his bloody fingertips, staining her cheeks. "I've never been truly alive." He withdrew his fingers.
"I don't want you to leave me." Ukyo sighed deeply and tightened her hold on him, she hoped that as long as she held him, he wouldn't die.
"How did you think this was going to end?" He asked her.
"Not like this." She replied.
"There's no other way." He closed his eyes and he still had that odd grin. A content smile. "Your face can't haunt me anymore."
"I didn't want it to haunt you to begin with. What should I do now?"
"I don't know." He smiled. "Isn't this funny, I kill myself because I thought you were dead but this whole time you weren't." He laughed.
"It's not funny."
"It is, it's fucking hilarious." Tears fell from his eyes and his laughs turned to sobs. "Fucking hilarious." He repeated in his sobs. "It hurts, make it stop."
"What are you saying?"
"Make it stop."
"You can't expect me to-"
"Do it." His face and voice were serious. "Stop the pain." Ukyo gently laid his head on the ground. She leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips.
"Sweet dreams, Ryoga." She whispered on his lips. His eyes were already closed when she took his head in her two hands. With all the strength she could muster, she broke his neck, ending his suffering. Ukyo stood up and stared at the blood on her hands, blood that would never go away.
She had tried before but failed, Ryoga stood in the way. Now that he was gone, she couldn't fail. She found in his pocket, a small carving knife. She set the blade on her wrist but could not find it in herself to do the deed. She stared at Ryoga.
"Fuck you Ryoga." She whispered and tossed the knife away. "Fuck you Ryoga." She said louder than before pounding her fist into his dead body. She threw back her head and screamed loudly into the sky: "FUCK YOU RYOGA!!"
A/N: I'm sorry about the language at the end of this chapter. I've got one left then...it's finished. Yes, one more chapter. Ranma will play a bigger role. If the layout sucks, I'm sorry. I have no patience to make the layout look nice.
Hououza: Thanks for reviewing again. Ranma really didn't have much of a role except getting Akane pregnant...The next chapter should include Ranma. Best wishes to you!
RyoUkyo Fan: Thank you for reviewing again, well, the end is approaching, as much as I enjoyed writing the past 3 chapters, it was hard to get inspiration to write a million chapters.
a: I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, I also get tired of those types of fics. That's why I wrote this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter, thank you for reviewing!