It was becoming impossible to breath. The natural humid heath of the Laos jungle now mixed with the smoke of the burning village, bringing the smell of burning wood, plastic and flesh, all mixed together, made the air unbearable. On a meadow at a few hundred meters from it, the villagers, or better, those left, mostly women and children, were kneeled down, handcuffed and with their eyes covered. Some others were hanging by their limbs, with their faces covered by bags.
Giulio was overseeing that horror. He tried to remain impassive, though he really wanted to vomit. In his mind, he fought with himself over the reason for that: was it because such were the orders coming from General Anou? Or was it because he wanted to take revenge, for the soldiers and civilians brutally mutilated and murdered by the Viet Minh in the past days? Papers would prove he was just following orders, but his heart was in fact filled with hatred towards those villagers that shamelessly supported the terrorists. Yet, now he faced his own actions: a nightmarish painting of an entire village, with its inhabitants erased from the map forever. Orders or not, it was his deed and he now realised he would have lived with it forever.
"We've finished burning down the houses, Sir." Said Sergeant-Major Dellantonio, returning with his men, who had just burnt the village to the ground.
"Good, good. Yet those fucking Gooks don't talk."
"Should we just move on executing more of them?" Asked the Sergeant.
"I don't think it will serve us anyhow. All of this, it was not what I had in mind when I talked of 'Hearts and Minds'." Replied Giulio, pensive.
"Well, Sir, regardless of what you had in mind, I'm afraid the orders don't leave much space for interpretation.."
Giulio nodded. "Right, I guess they don't. Let me give them a last chance." He walked ahead and commanded his soldiers to uncover the eyes of the villagers, then spoke in French: "Now listen here. I am Captain Giulio Galahad-Canossa and the reason for which me and my men are here is because you have betrayed your Motherland, Europe." He made a pause. The villagers looked at him, some with fear, other with anger. "We have punished you and will go further, if you keep refusing to cooperate, but will be merciful and transfer you to a better village, should you tell us the exact location of the base where the puppet King and his Viet Minh terrorist hide."
"Don't tell him anything! Don't help the oppressor!" Shouted an elder, standing up amidst the people. Giulio, in response, made then a gesture and the old man was shot dead. "This is what traitors get. It's your choice." He then told to the people.
He heard some people beginning to protest in Vietnamese, probably asking those who knew to reveal what he asked, but nobody spoke. He waited for more, hoping someone would open his mouth. Yet, nothing.
Finally, he gave up and decided to execute the orders: "I really hoped we wouldn't get to this, but in this case..."
"Stop!" Shouted Martina Zorzi, walking in front of him and pointing her gun. "I've had enough of this."
All the other soldiers aimed at the Sergeant, but Giulio signalled them to hold. Her blue eyes were already filled with tears and she was shaking, of how nervous she was.
"Sergeant Zorzi, please, walk back to your ranks and stop disturbing the operation." Commanded Giulio, very calmly.
"The operation? This is a war crime, not a military operation."
"We are following orders, which is what soldiers do. Plus, these are the murderers of..."
"The Viet Minh are the murderers!" Shouted the girl. "Not women and children. We can't, we can't follow such orders. We have a moral obligation to report what we've been ordered to do. The world must know..."
"And throw even more garbage on the Army? Are you insane?" Shouted Giulio, then lowering his tone. "This would be treason against the fatherland and a further sabotage against the war effort."
"It's the chance of ending this hell." She replied him, now with tears falling. "We would get to go home, back to our families, away from this hell."
"Home? Sergeant, there will be no home for us, unless we will return victorious, now, back in the ranks!"
She remained where she was, pointing her gun at him and shaking her head. She was now crying without control.
"Martina, please, don't make me choose between my country and you. Insubordination in combat zone is punished with execution on spot."
"Then go for it, execute me on spot, if you like. I once admired you, I even fell in love with you, you seemed a good man and a great commander, but today... today you proven to be a monster!"
This last revelation left Giulio disoriented, for a couple of seconds, but he was then quick in giving a reply:
"And you think you are any better? You have executed all of my orders up to this point and now you think your conscience will be cleaned by betraying your country and pointing a gun at me? You knew what we were coming to do here from the beginning, why you did not stop me earlier then? You are just as guilty as I am!" He replied loudly, retaining his posture.
She could not stop crying, but she still managed to give him one last answer: "You're right, we're all guilty here."
Saying so, she put the barrel of the gun inside her mouth...
"Martina, don't!" Shouted Giulio.
Too late: she pulled the trigger, the gunshot echoed through the area and the bullet came out from her cervical, leaving a large hole in the back part of her neck, while her body fell down on the ground, with her eyes looking at the sky.
"NOOO!" Shouted Giulio, rushing toward her corpse and falling down on his knees. "No! Why?" He was now desperate. Though he would have never said he was in love with this young, bright girl from the Italian Alps, he had grown attached to her, during his time in service. She had become his right hand, his trusted companion and a good friend and now, because of him, she had committed suicide and her body lied lifeless in front of him.
Everything seemed to have frozen around him: the soldiers stood still, looking at him with perplexity, some of them silently judging him, all of them waiting for orders. Also the villagers stood down, waiting to understand what their destiny would have been.
The days that followed that last operation saw Giulio falling in a spiral of depression and guilt. He abandoned his post, no longer attended his duties, refused to see Héléne, publish articles, answer the letters from home or even just hang out in the city. He also began to refuse the food and would buy large amounts of alcohol to fill himself with. He was constantly tortured with the images of what happened in that village, of what he did, consciously and willingly. This situation lasted for several minutes, until the silence was broken by the arrival of a helicopter, carrying Major De Cristoforis...
Returning from this mission, the burden of what he did and what he caused began to oppress the young nobleman more and more. As a result, in the days that followed the return to Hanoi, he turned increasingly seclusive, avoiding everyone (including Héléne and Marcantonio), failing to attend his duties at the base and drinking heavily, while hardly eating everything. He felt now consumed by the sense of guilt, of shame and by the images of that day in the village, while the Army began to consider locking him in a psychiatric hospital. For his luck, however, those close to him decided to intervene before the Army would do it...
"Giulio! Open the door, for God's sake!"
He recognised the voice of Héléne, who was knocking repeatedly at the door and yelling at him.
"Go away! You're in a military area and I am very well alone." He replied, drinking at once a glass filled with cheap Gin.
"No, you're not and I have all the right to be here. Also, I am not leaving until you don't open the door."
Giulio frowned, stood up and went, staggering, to open the door. Héléne stood in front of him, with the uniform of the Red Cross, looking at him with anger. "Look at you!" She exclaimed. "What are you doing with your life?"
He shook his head and stepped back, letting her inside his flat. "Seriously?" She asked, as she saw the half-empty bottle on the table and other three in the bin. "Getting yourself drunk with Gin?"
"It helps." He then replied with a feeble voice, letting himself fall on a sofa.
"No, Giulio, it doesn't. You can't end up like this." She said, throwing the bottle in the bin and sitting next to him. "This is not how a descendant of the Kings of France should show himself."
He shrugged his shoulders: "And I am a murderer, a war criminal. I carried out orders to slaughter an entire village without even asking a question and I even pushed into suicide a person dear to me. I have disgraced my unit and the whole Alpini Corps. I really should end my life here..."
"For God's sake, stop!" Exclaimed the girl. "Committing suicide won't do anything, except leading to your spiritual, other than physical death. Life is a gift that you have received from above and it's not up to you to throw it away. Instead, you should think of making peace with yourself now."
"I will! By drinking and drugging myself to death..."
"And escape reality forever? Look, you're not the only one here who has done that kind of stuff. Many other soldiers did..."
"In fact, they are all facing psychological disorders, I know it well. Figures are around 40% of those involved, but they are expected to increase over time."
"See, even in this state you remain very smart."
He raised his eyes, looking at her.
"Fine, I am not sure whether I am in the position to assist you: I've never been in a situation like yours, probably I will never be and I am not a psychologist, but as a Red Cross nurse, my mission is still that of bringing help and relief."
Giulio shrugged his shoulders. "Don't bother. Soon I'll be called back to the battlefield, maybe I'll get lucky there."
"Not if you remain in this state." Observed Héléne. "Plus, don't you think you can at least change role? Maybe become a staff officer?"
"I could, but what about my soldiers? They followed me and now should I abandon them?"
The nurse nodded. "Then maybe you need to learn the lesson from this episode and work to improve yourself."
"Every night, every time I sleep, I am tormented by the images of those who I have killed: men, women, children, Martina, it's just..."
"It's done." Completed Héléne. "It's done. Whether you like it or not, but you need to move on. You must learn to live with that, learn from your mistakes and think of how to improve yourself. Don't you think so?"
Giulio nodded. "Right." He stood up. "I'm afraid I will need help... and I will need to talk about it. I mean, I'll need to do it often."
"For that there's me, there's Marcantonio, you can seek the help of a doctor if you like."
He nodded, still trying to make sense of everything. "Yes, yes, I should do so."
"That's a step forward." She said, smiling at him. "Also, why don't you send a letter back home? Your mailbox is full of letters from your mom and your sister. Then, you know what? Don't you like writing? Well, get back to do it. Write, maybe even keep a diary."
"Yes, and maybe I get rid of these." Added the young nobleman, opening a dresser and taking out of it several bottles, throwing them all into the bin.
"Jesus Giulio, cheap alcohol? If I knew it before I would have called an exorcist." Joked the girl.
He laughed. "Indeed, the hell got on me to fall down so badly."
"Once you touch the bottom, you can only go up." Reassured him the girl. "And you know what? Now get a clean uniform, take a shower, shave and then let's go out for dinner. Marcantonio should be at the Officers Circle tonight."
Nearly a hour later, the two headed to the Army Officers Circle, in Hanoi city centre, where Marcantonio was waiting for them.
"Ah, you finally came out from the cloister!" Exclaimed Marcantonio, as he saw them arriving.
"I did." Replied Giulio, forcing a smile.
"Man, you look like you've been walking with Dante through Hell." Continued his friend.
"Stupid idiot." Replied Giulio, with a bitter laugh.
"Come on, let's have a seat in the garden and have dinner... Should we get some wine?"
"No, no, I'll avoid alcohol for some time now."
"I think it's a good idea." Echoed Héléne. "Better not to drink for some time now, at least until you feel better."
Thus, they headed to the garden: a large space in which European neoclassical elements mixed with Asian garden decoration and native vegetation, perfect for a dinner. Giulio looked around, at the many guests of the structure: mostly European officers, some of them bringing their families or lovers or other guests and enjoying the sunset. He then took a long breath, smelling the perfume of the flowers.
"It really feels good to be out of that." He then said, taking a long breath.
"Everyone was getting worried. Your soldiers, your superiors, they were really about to have you locked in a psychiatric clinic." Told him Marcantonio.
"Really?"
"Really." Confirmed Héléne.
"Well, thank you for intervening before they would. I think I will ask for time off, so that I can recover better, hoping that nothing happens in the meantime."
"I think it's a good idea." Agreed Marcantonio. "You're not the only officer to be facing such effects, so now General Anou is under investigation and our unit will likely remain in the barracks for a while. They are checking on everyone."
"Good, I'm sure it's needed. Anyway, let's talk about happier matters, how have you both been during my seclusion?"
Héléne shrugged her shoulders: "Trying to get access to you and working. Unfortunately I don't even have time any longer for nightlife, fun or anything else."
"You with no time for fun? I don't believe you." Replied Giulio, joking.
"We've lost in Laos." Explained Marcantonio. "The idiots couldn't properly implement the COIN strategy and now we're facing rebellions all over, losing control of border regions and the Chinks are pushing back from Southern China." Explained Marcantonio.
"And this means lots and lots of wounded people, refugees and so on flooding Hanoi, straining both civilian and military healthcare system." Explained Héléne.
"All of this because I asked for happier matters." Commented Giulio, with some sarcasm.
"Well, there's something happier, actually." Continued Marcantonio. "Luisa has won the Chess World Cup, in New York."
"That's great!" Exclaimed Giulio, surprised.
"Sorry, who?" Asked Héléne.
"A friend of ours from the Academy." He replied.
"More than a friend for someone here." Provoked Marcantonio.
"Don't exaggerate." Cut short Giulio.
"Well, I've heard of some stories about St. Petersburg."
"Ah, really, what stories?" Asked immediately Héléne, with a smirk.
"Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing." Reassured Giulio, alarmed.
The girl laughed. "It's fine, look, if you were to know of all my stories I think you wouldn't even like to see me again..."
"Wait, what do you mean?" Asked back Giulio.
"Well, guys, it's your chance to tell each other everything you need to know... Do you want me to leave?"
Giulio shook his head. "Don't, there's no need. None of us is a Saint."
"But at least I go to the church." Joked Héléne.
"It serves you nothing to go to the church and then do the exact opposite of what it teaches." Pointed out Giulio, laughing. "But I don't judge, since I am nearly a pagan."
"See? You guys make a perfect couple." Observed Marcantonio, while the others laughed at the jokes.
The days that followed this meeting saw Giulio gradually recovering from his depression. He was allowed time off and spent it mostly with Héléne in a countryhouse of her family house. Though the images of that massacre did not leave his mind, at least he now learned to deal with them and gradually accepted them. In the meantime, good news also came from the High Command, who after conducing an investigation, decided to held General Anou accountable for the ineffectiveness of the unit and to have him replaced with Colonel De Castries, now promoted Brigadier General. Determined to make some changes in the unit, the newly-promoted General had called Major De Cristoforis to become his aide-de-camp, a situation that earned Giulio a promotion to Major and the command of the entire Battalion "Monte Cauriol".
However, the war in Indochina continued worsening, with the loss of Laos and the progressive loss of control of internal parts of Vietnam, a situation that forced the Europeans to gradually abandon their position in Southern China. Strong of this military success, now, General Li Xingke began to think of the next step: the invasion of Northern Vietnam by conquering the fortified base of Dien Bien Phu, which from Laos ensured access to Tonkin Region and, by extension, Hanoi.
Those moves by China and its alllies did not go unnoticed by the European military leadership, which in turn began to fortify the Dien Bien Phu Airbase, determined to stop the enemies on its hills. Thus, at the beginning of the month of Pluviose*, General Navarre, commander-in-chief of the European Army in Indochina, gathered the senior officers of the 3rd Airborne Task Force, to discuss its deployment in the area. Thus, on one morning, they all met with the General at the Supreme Headquarters of the European Armed Forces in Indochina.
"Ladies and gentlemen" Started General Navarre. "As you know, over the past weeks, General Li Xingke has gathered three Vietnamese and one Laos infantry divisions, along with two Chinese Mechanised divisions and one artillery brigade. This not to mention the support of the Rocket Force and of the Air Force." The General made a pause and drank some water. "Now, we have already responded by reinforcing Dien Bien Phu with troops from France, Italy, the Confederacy of the Rhine and Prussia, all of them under the command of Army Corps General Nicholas Juin, for a total of 20,000 men, to which further 10,000 from the reserve can be added. Clear, so far?"
Everybody nodded.
"Very well." Continued the General. "You may like to know that you have been assigned to the reserve, though in case of need you will be among the first to be deployed. Needless to say, we hope not to need further deployments. This being said, in case of deployment, there are two main possibilities that we are considering: first, a deployment to the South, on the hill that you see marked as Isabelle, from where you will have to keep the airstrip open and eventually secure the lines of communication with the main base. The second possibility will likely be a deployment on Huguette or Anne-Marie, as we believe that they will likely strike from the East and as your specialty is mostly mountain combat. Finally there's a third scenario, involving a possible retreat, should we result defeated. In this case, you would be deployed to the West, in Béatrice or again in Isabelle, with the aim of opening the way for the retreat. C'est clair?"**
"I have a question, sir." Intervened Giulio.
"Ah, Major Galahad, of course." Said the General.
"Aren't we leaving the Western flank to exposed? With 20,000 soldiers we should be able to extend the defensive line outside the valley, or not? Also, I am worried about Isabelle. Seems like a highly vulnerable position and I don't see in the plan any attempt at protecting neither the Route 41, not the Piste Pavie."
"Because we count on keeping the communication through airplanes and helicopters, Galahad." Replied the General. "Plus the Western flank is sufficiently protected at the heights of Eliane and Dominique."
"Which from what I am reading, are equipped to fend off the infantry, but with two mechanised division, our soldiers on those positions will be eaten alive."
"They have anti-tank equipment, plus we have just dropped in a cavalry brigade of the National Guard."
"It won't be enough, Sir." Protested Giulio. "We need at least one cavalry division or at least twice the amount of helicopters and constant air coverage. Also, the positions at Gabrielle are likely to be the first to be attacked and..."
"Do you want to take my place as the Supreme Commander, eh?" Asked the General, very irritated.
"I apologise." Intervened De Castries. "Major Galahad was just very concerned as he believed that..."
"You have nothing to be concerned about." Cut short De Castries. "You have only to execute. Meeting over."
"Fighting with the Supreme Commander, are you insane?" Reprimanded Marcantonio, as they left the building.
"Well, my friend, good relations will be worth nothing if we will all end up in a grave." Replied Giulio.
"Yes, Giulio, but what the hell? These are the issues that you resolve at a lower level, not by facing a four-stars general."
Giulio shrugged his shoulders. "Memento Audere Semper."
Marcantonio laughed. "Ah, fine then, I won't even keep arguing. Anyway, do we go have lunch now?"
"Sure." Replied Giulio, taking the keys and opening his car. "First we pick up Héléne at the hospital, then we go."
Thus, the two entered the car and he turned it on, driving through Hanoi's busy streets in the direction of the Military Hospital. In spite of the worsening of the war and of what was about to happen, he noticed, the city lived as always and nobody in the streets gave signs of being minimally worried with it.
NOTES
* Around the 20-21 of January.
** Here in the original story I provided a map of Dien Bien Phu, based on the 1954 battle between the French Army and the Viet Minh. Since it's impossible to upload images here, I will provide you a link to some decent map, here it follows: en/Battle_of_Dien_Bien_Phu#Media/File:Dien_Bein_Phu_