Imbalancer- Chapter 1.5

AN: Here's the Dillyo, people. I write pretty much all my fanfics on my trusty laptop, which in a moment of excessive geekiness I affectionately dubbed Omoikane, of Martian Successor Nadesico fame. However, I'm currently at my folks house for Christmas, the new chapter is pretty well done and ready to go, but guess what? I forgot to bring my laptop's Floppy disc drive, and my connection is back in my student house. This is immensely frustrating for me, so to tide you over until I get back in a few days, here's a short skit that's getting written as I think of the blasted thing. This is the creative stream in full, unfiltered flow, people. :P Thunderstrike has said he wants to write a skit as well with its origin in a discussion we all had about a certain sidequest, so look out for that. Should be most l33t.

Chapter One-Point-Five 'Don't Marry Her, Censored Me'

It was snowing in Flanoir. Anywhere else, this would have indicated winter, or an unseasonable cold snap at the very most. In Flanoir, however, such an extreme of weather was so typical that if it didn't snow during the day, many of the citizens would run shrieking into their houses, declaring that the end times were upon them.

'Why do you think that is?' Lloyd asked with an idle curiosity as the snowy town drifted into view below them, high up upon the Rheiards. Genis gave his friend a knowing grin.

'Lloyd! It's obvious!'

'Huh?'

'Think about it. Flanoir is set in the middle of a barren, snow driven tundra that can only be approached by air, the entire island being surrounded by large, pointless and ominous rocks. The only technology capable of flight in the entire world is the Rheiards, which only we and the Renegades have, and they aren't sharing.'

'Your point?'

'They've been cut off from the mainland for maybe centuries! They're as inbred as eighteenth generation hillbillies.'

'Good point! I suddenly realise my immense attraction to you! Take me Genis, take me now.'

Genis considered for a moment, carefully weighing up the pros and cons.

'Deal'

Collette frowned, her supernaturally adept senses perhaps picking up a faint cry on the wind. In fact, there was no 'perhaps' about it. Her supernaturally adept senses WERE picking up a faint cry on the wind. Raine glanced over at her questioningly.

'Do you hear something Collette?'

'Yeah…It kinda sounded like a million fangirls suddenly cried out 'OMG! SLASH!' and were suddenly silenced…'

Raine looked sharply at Kratos, who feigned a look of injured innocence.

'I had nothing to do with it, even if they did have it coming. In all honesty, you can see my point.'

'Oh, I suppose so. I'll let you off this time.'

'But I didn't do anything!'

'Oh, really? How do I know this isn't part of some elaborate and far reaching scheme to topple the establishment and play everyone for suckers?'

'…I suppose you don't.'

'Ah-HAH!'

'But what could I possibly gain from the sudden and total annihilation of a million slash fans?'

'Deep, deep satisfaction?'

'…Aside from the deep, deep satisfaction and the knowledge that it's far less likely that I'll be paired with Zelos, Yuan, Genis or Lloyd?'

'Do you need another reason? I don't suppose I would.'

'…There you have a point. Is there any way I can come out of this looking innocent?'

'No, but to be fair I don't especially care, so you're free to go.'

'I was going somewhere?'

'I should hope so, otherwise you're going to have a nasty surprise when you look down and realise you've been on a Rheiard for the last half hour.'

'….Oh.'

Short and crappy! It must be Christmas! If this happens again, I swear to god it'll be better, because it's hard to believe it could be any worse….

Drunk on Christmas Cheer and Christmas Ale, Mostly Christmas Ale.

Peace Out,

DC