I own nothing. Rock on Mike White.

I feel like writing a horrible parody. It's not even a parody. It's supposed to be. But it's not. It's just bad. Soooo flame if you feel like it.

-Amy-

ps- expect spelling/grammar errors when Freddy talks. He's "gangster".

One day Dewey Finn was in his band rehearsal room. He was…well…rehearsing with his band.

"That's great guys, we sound fine and I think we need to…" he trailed off as his gaze was drawn to a beautiful woman wearing a miniskirt so short that the censored sign SHOULD have been coming up (but wasn't) giving Dewey quite a view, walked by.

"Dawg you ain't even payin no attention to da music yo." Freddy Jones was the drummer. He was also delusional and thought he was an badass gangster.

"Oh Freddy, I wish you wouldn't talk like that, it makes me think that you're gone forever and that I can't save you from your self doubt, and your inner demons and battles! From the RAGING hormones you have, lusting after me…" Katie Monroe argued with him passionately.

"Yo mean my drunk pops?" Freddy asked.

"Do you know HOW I'll save you?" she continued, not hearing him. "Because I'm KATIE MONROE! Super bassist who's solos always end up on the cutting room floor!"

"Dawg you can't save me. If you were hotter then maybe I'd give ya a piece of this," he gestured to himself.

fan girls melt into a puddle of goop everywhere

"But since you're not I think I'm taking…Michelle. Cuz she's way hot man. Like soup wit no ice dawg. She's a cheerleader! The perfect slut yo dawg!

Katie burst into tears. "But what about me my love?! I love you! We're soul mates we belong together! We're like peanut butter and jelly, like the sun and the moon! We're like the stars and the-"

"Fish!" Summer yelled out.

"Yo Michelle. Wanna make out?" Freddy called.

"Are you enough of a bad boy for me?" she asked hesitantly. "Because I only sleep with the bad ones."

"Dawg I'm bad. I'm the baddest you got."

"Then, like, totally!" she giggled. She swung her hips as she walked over to Freddy, and adjusted her shirt so that it gave…well…whoever wanted one…a better view of her ahem attributes. "Like…Freddy, maybe we should like go somewhere more like…private."

"Naw baby we can do it here."

"Well if you like say so!" With that Freddy ripped off her shirt, and millions of fan guys everywhere dropped dead from the sight of her amazing body. Naturally no one noticed that Katie was sobbing her eyes out or that Freddy and Michelle were going at it over Freddy's drum set.

"So we sound good Dewey?" Zack Mooneyham asked, stepping over Katie's body which lay on the ground, being wracked by sobs.

"Yeah man, totally." Just then the doorbell rang.

Summer looked at Dewey. "Are you expecting someone?" He went to answer the door and as he swung it open he revealed the beautiful woman with the short skirt.

"Hello Dewey Finn." she said softly and seductively.

"How do you know my name?" he asked, immediately mesmerized.

"I know everything about you and your band. I want to be your manager."

"But I'm the manager!" Summer cried.

"Shush Summer! You can be a groupie." Dewey replied, never taking his eyes off the woman. "We have a gig tomorrow, if you want we can run through our set for you…"

"That's so kind! I'll just sit over here with my tape recorder and-"

"Your what?" Dewey asked.

"My banana!" she replied. "Can I look over your music too? Just so that I can make sure you get the right notes."

"Sure you can keep these. They're extras."

"You're so kind Dewey Finn. Now why don't you play." The woman suggested.

"Freddy, Michelle get off of each other. At least go behind him Michelle, so he can drum. Katie pull yourself together and play." Michelle got off of Freddy's drums and walked behind him, but continued to run her hands over his bare back because he too had taken off his shirt sometime during their wild make out session…and his pants…so he sat and began to drum in his boxers.

fan girls drop dead

Katie gathered herself off of the floor and began to play the bass, along with the rest of the band. They ran through their set and as soon as they were done, Freddy and Michelle jumped on top of the drum set again and Katie dropped to the floor.

Dewey turned around and the mysterious woman was gone. "That was weird," he said scratching his head. "Whatever. Our new manager had to leave guys. So practice is over. Gig tomorrow, don't forget."

Everyone began to pack up their instruments except Freddy and Michelle who were still going at it.

"I've been shunned!" Katie wailed. "My love is gone, my heart is broken! I might as well die!" With that, she jumped out the nearest window.

"See you guys tomorrow." After everyone left, Dewey turned off the lights. "'Night Freddy, 'night Michelle."

The next day the band arrived to play the gig. They were going second. Dewey spotted the mystery woman…but she was sucking faces with the singer of the opposing band!!

come on…if you tell me you didn't see that coming I may just have to kill you…

The first band went on, and drum roll (bum bum bum BUM) thank you Freddy they played the same exact songs as School of Rock was going to play!!

again…if you tell me you didn't see that coming I may just have to kill you

"Guys we've been had. We should just quit." Dewey said. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright Dewey, we'll get 'em next time." Zack said.

"Yeah Dewey I…uh…I…uh…I LOVE ZACK!" Summer blurted out.

"Really?" Zack asked.

"Yeah." she replied.

"Oh." Silence. Then… "I LOVE SUMMER!"

"AW!" They kissed, and fell on the floor.

Katie, after surviving the fall from the roof, showed up, running wildly. "Freddy! Freddy! Freddy I love you!" she yelled as she ran right into the wall. "Ow."

But there was no one around to hear her. Zack and Summer were making out, Dewey was eating a banana….

And Freddy and Michelle were still going at it in Dewey's apartment.

And that's all for this chapter of The Horribly Written Fic…hahaha I bet you thought I was joking, right?

Love,

-Amy-